10 people inc. us, is it still a celebration?

[firebirdgold]

Yes, not officially on this board yet. But I have a question.
We don''t think very many people will come to our wedding, so we''re considering having an immediate family only wedding. Which would make it a grand total of 10 people including the bride and groom. (Two parents and a married sister w/ bil each.) We''d have it in Hawaii at a resort if that''s the size we go with. We''ve never been to Hawaii, so that would be fun. And we could get married in January or March ''07. (earlier the better IMO).
Barefoot on the sand, circle of flower petals, some kind of minister, flute trio?, everyone laden down with leis, crown of flowers on me, floaty dress, and a fancy local foods only dinner along the water''s edge with a hawaiian sunset as a backdrop. All this with a minimum of planning involved, and no possible maternal take-over.
This sounds great to me and we could go top grade quality without spending a huge amount, but I''m worried that it won''t feel ... special enough. Like we''re really getting married. This is bothering me so much that I''m spending alot of time thinking about other options.

What do you guys think? Has anyone done this and felt dissapointed?

Oh, quick background for the BIW''s that don''t know me from LIW.
Me rapidly approaching mid thirties, him rapidly approaching 30. Very close to families, and both families get along wonderfully. (Sisters haven''t met and are 15 yrs apart)
Both sisters getting married this summer, and wiping out both extended families travel budget. (More his than mine since my father is paying to fly Nana and aunt to Italy for my sis).
Friends scattered across country and are either low on funds, or have very small children making travel difficult. Besides we don''t have a lot of close friends to begin with.

 

[selflove]

Yes, I still think that''s a celebration!!!! My step-sister and her husband went to Jamaica just the two of them and jumped the broom. SHe never regretted it, but then they had a reception after they returned with about 100 people, so they did ultimately do the big party thing.

 

[aphisiglovessae]

Oh my gosh, YES, it's still a celebration!!! It doesn't really matter how many people you have present. It's WHO is there that counts. As long as you have who you feel is most important there, it's definitely a celebration. To be honest with you, that's what I wanted to do all along, but my fiance wanted a bigger wedding. I still wish we had done it really small or even a DW.

 

[firebirdgold]

My sister is having a big party in D.C and another in L.A. But we just don''t have as many friends, and other than a bunch of his family in New york state, there''s no real cluster. We could always have a dinner party where we live that could be 10-40 people depending on if we just invited everyone we know like it''s a regular dinner party.
Hmmm, that''s an idea. We like smaller parties anyway.
And something that just occurred to me... My beloved bf has hearing damage and doesn''t fare well in noisy, crowded situations.

 

[E B]

It is most definitely a celebration! A small, personal one at that, which is so special. Hawaii is such a great idea.

 

[SoonIHope]

I think your vision sounds perfect!!!

The only thing that worries me is that the reason you are saying you want to keep it small is because you think people WON''T come...why not extend the offer but then tell people in person before they accept that they are under no obligation to go? For those who are really strapped for cash, just tell them it''s going to be a very small wedding and you won''t be hurt if they can''t make it, but you never know who might actually love to go to Hawaii with you! Still don''t invite EVERYONE but include a few other relatives and friends just in case they might end up coming.

If there''s more to this situation than I''m picking up on so you don''t like that idea...I would consider having a very informal celebration "in honor" of your wedding when you get back. Then everyone can get together (for a barbeque, brunch, potluck) and celebrate with you for minimal cost on your AND their sides.

But if you really just want to have the small wedding and have that be it...I think what you''re describing sounds absolutely incredible and is 100% enough celebration on its own!!! When you''re there and everyone''s all decked out on the beach, you''ll KNOW you''re getting married, so don''t worry about that not feeling right!!!

 

[Diam100]

Even if it was just the two of you it would still be a celebration!!

My experience - Both of us Divorced & both had big first weddings. 2nd Marriage for the two of us so we did a destination wedding for 4 days & than flew off day after wedding for another 10 days to an island alone.

I wore a big ole wedding dress just like a first time bride & tell you the truth people who were present at my previous wedding came up to me to say they enjoyed my 2nd wedding sooo much better. Even my husbands friends who attended his first wedding enjoyed the 2nd better. Yes, we only had 35 people attend but for four days we had group events planned (optional) & everyone attended & loved it.

I have since been the cause for two other friends doing the exact same thing (smaller at 12 & 15 attending) & a sibling who is in the midst of planning their own destination wedding. I''ve started a trend in my little circle I tell ya!!

 

[Caribou]

I think it sounds perfect. I would love for me my FI and a couple close friend to go to Jamiaca, we get married there and then have our reception here. But too many people (mainly my 88 year old granny) would be upset by it.

But you ideas sound perfect, I can't imagine being disappointed by that.

 

[LizzieC]

I think it sounds perfect! We''re only having 20 people, including us, and I think that''s plenty. We''re keeping it to only immediate family and best friends so iit is definitely the people who matter most. Anytime two people choose to spend their lives together it''s a celebration!!!

 

[firebirdgold]

You guys are really reassuring me about this! Thank You!

Well, once we''re official I''ll have to ask him about the idea of ''a no pressure invite'' just to see who might come. Admittedly I''m hesitant about that because I''m worried that we will get some people, but only on my side and I don''t want him to feel bad.
Some of my family and friends have a bit more disposable income than his do. In fact the only friend of his I''m sure has the money to go to Hawaii is the one I''d want only if his voice box parazyled first!

Also if my father doesn''t feel obligated to fly out Nana and a couple of aunts to my wedding, I can more easily get him to pay for my bf''s family hotel or something. His parents are far too proud to accept plane tickets as well but they are going to be totally out of money after my fsil''s wedding.

Bf and I will probably have to buy plane tickets for her and her new hubby, but we have already been talking about helping to fund their delayed winter honeymoon.

I really love the hawaii idea, and my beloved independently came up with the idea of getting married barefoot on the beach in Hawaii with just our family. So we both love it!

Heh, maybe I should thank my f-sil for scooping us, insisting on a big wedding, and inviting every single relative in a huge italian family.

 

[flopkins]

of course it''s still a celebration!! In fact it sounds like a wonderful one at that!! By the way, one of my friends was looking at a destination wedding at a resort called Turtle Bay, it''s high end, but they have the fabulous gazebo outside that when the sun sets, it''s right on teh horizon.... love love love it!! And w/a small group like that you can definitely splurge a bit more on the folks coming...

 

[firebirdgold]

There''s a 5-star craving snob hidden away inside of me. [$$)] A destination wedding will give me the chance to indulge it while keeping it casual and low key enough to make my beloved happy.
I was thinking the fairmount Orchid on the big Island. If I wave a volcano and the observatory in front of my beloved, he''ll turn into agreeable nerd putty. ... Actually so will I.

I feel so much better about this idea. Ever since he suggested it, I''ve been half wanting to, and half worrying it wouldn''t feel real. You guys are so great! And there''s something freeing about the idea of not having to watch my aunt and mother snipe at each other, and other fun family entertainment.

 

[MissAva]

I think it will be wonderful, that is pretty close to what V and I are thinking. (I think weddings are intimate moments I do not follow the idea of 500 guests…that is weird to me.)
But are you sure you want to have a wedding in Hawaii in Jan-March? It gets chilly there as well and can be rainy…I only know this because my father lived there and I was tossing around doing a wedding on the big island with him on the phone recently and thought about doing it on the anniversary of when V and I started dating (2-20).

ETA: Weather.com Wedding Planner

 

[firebirdgold]

Well, I don''t know anyone living in Hawaii so all my information is based on the net. It sounds like the weather greatly varies depending on where on the Big Island you are, lots of micro-climates. For instance Hilo is usually rainy and cool currently in the 60''s, something about being in a inland valley I think. According to my little weather widgits on my mac, The weather station 25 miles away from the hotel reports current temp of 74 with a high of 82 and a low of 56, with a 50% chance of rain. Local weather is a high of 35, low of 11, windy with a chance of snow. (yesterday the brief snow storm was blowing snow sideways).
Um, I don''t think I''m going to mind their version of cool and rainy all that much.

You know, March seems like the best idea. I hate March. I really really hate March. There is nothing worse than miserable windy, unstable weather combined with the worst allergy period of the year. My car is coated in pollen! (Don''t ask, our trees are weird.)

If we are going to stay here, I certainly wouldn''t mind a yearly excuse for a vacation somewhere warmer and less windy!

 

[MissAva]

Do you know anyone in the Military, who will be one of your ten? The hotels they have their are like little cabins, and you can go on private beaches and what not. I think March would be a wonderful time for a wedding in Hawaii! With just a few people it will be soo much fun! Oh I cannot wait to hear how it goes!