................................

[larussel03]

I wanna be engaged!!!

I would scream it from the rooftop if I had one!!

I''m sick and in on a Fri night and bf is out and all I can think about is I WANNA BE ENGAGED!!!!

 

[Buena Girl]

Me too, I second that!!!

 

[MissAva]

Well it is Sat morning, but I want it too. I am going home tommorow, which means a week with my SO.
Who wants to give me a shiney?

 

[ello]

That''s so funny - yes ME 2. I wish I could go on TV. and say to all boyfriends with good intentions...ENOUGH ALREADY propose!!!!
The wait is a killer!

 

[squeaksluv]

I''m right there with you guys. I want to be engaged too!

I was talking to a friend who got engaged a few weeks ago and she was busy planning her wedding and I kept thinking ''that should be me too!''.

My bf is going away to Canada on some business trip and I''m actually glad which is sad. I''ve just been so frustrated lately with all of the new engagements I seem to be very grumpy around him. He even commented this mornng on how cranky I''ve been, especially last night when we went out to dinner with a friend of his and his totally obnoxious fiance. This girl was so irritating, all she did ALL night was talk about her wedding and ring. It was a nice ring though, I''ve never seen a ring that big. It was a round 3 stone and the center stone was at least 4.5 carats. She kept playing with it in the candle light so it would sparkle and commenting how big it was and asking me if I thought it was big..duh? By the time we got home I was barely speaking with bf. He was more amused by her than irritated and couldn''t understand what my problem was. Uh, let''s see, maybe YOU are my problem Mr. Don''t Pressure Me. UGH!

 

[bookworm21]

Date: 11/19/2005 7:47:36 AM
Author: squeaksluv
I''m right there with you guys. I want to be engaged too!

I was talking to a friend who got engaged a few weeks ago and she was busy planning her wedding and I kept thinking ''that should be me too!''.

My bf is going away to Canada on some business trip and I''m actually glad which is sad. I''ve just been so frustrated lately with all of the new engagements I seem to be very grumpy around him. He even commented this mornng on how cranky I''ve been, especially last night when we went out to dinner with a friend of his and his totally obnoxious fiance. This girl was so irritating, all she did ALL night was talk about her wedding and ring. It was a nice ring though, I''ve never seen a ring that big. It was a round 3 stone and the center stone was at least 4.5 carats. She kept playing with it in the candle light so it would sparkle and commenting how big it was and asking me if I thought it was big..duh? By the time we got home I was barely speaking with bf. He was more amused by her than irritated and couldn''t understand what my problem was. Uh, let''s see, maybe YOU are my problem Mr. Don''t Pressure Me. UGH!

Me too! I feel like I''ve been waiting practically forever. Stupid men. By the way, that girl you mentioned was extremely rude. I hate women who decide to rub your face in the fact that they''re engaged and you''re not! If it were me, I would look at her ring, and just to spite her, say something to the effect of: "Wow, I don''t want something that big. My fingers are much too skinny."

Of course, I would then be the rude one.

 

[Erin]

I wouldn''t want something so big that people might think it''s a fake. Oooooooooh

THAT''S harsh!!!

ps - I want to be engaged before the holidays

 

[larussel03]

Date: 11/19/2005 9:06:56 PM
Author: Starset Princess
I wouldn''t want something so big that people might think it''s a fake. Oooooooooh

THAT''S harsh!!!

ps - I want to be engaged before the holidays

me too...bf and I decided to throw a holiday party with our closest friends to decorate the tree and have cocktails a week before xmas...and I keep imagining him proposing then and there. I know he''s got the stone, so all he has to do is set it....alas, I dont think he''ll realize what a perfect and magical moment it would be and how romantic in front of all our friends. I wont even drop a hint b/c then it def wont happen, but here''s to dreaming!

Prob wont be till after Jan, which stinks but I''m getting a little better at accepting that...

 

[SoonIHope]

Yeah so tonight we went out with some friends of ours, and some friends of theirs - who happen to be a married couple and an engaged couple. We''ve met both of those couples before, but don''t know either of the women well at all, and ended up sitting across from the two of them. So we congratulate them because the one couple had gotten married since we last saw them and the other had gotten engaged since we last saw THEM. And my boyfriend just sort of casually mentions how he can''t believe they got married b/c that''s just so BIG. And she kind of shrugs and says well we were living together for a while so it''s really exactly the same. So my boyfriend says "Yeah, that''s what she tells me, that since we''ve been living together it would still pretty much be us if we got married." So I''m like wellll actually it would be ENTIRELY still us?? How would it NOT still be us?? But he just decides to continue talking to the married woman and the engaged woman about how much the idea of getting married or engaged FREAKS HIM OUT?????????? And I''m like HELLO I AM RIGHT NEXT TO YOU. And he doesn''t know these women AT ALL (even less than I do which is very little), and they certainly don''t know that he has already bought my engagement ring so of course they''re looking at me like you poor thing, I can''t believe your boyfriend talks so openly about how getting married freaks him out and he''s not ready.

So after we get home I say why did you do that, couldn''t you have NOT acted like it freaks you out so much? And he claims he was saying it in a past tense context (which he TOTALLY WAS NOT) and then revises to say well would you rather me have sounded all mushy and told them how I used to be freaked out but now I''m all for it? And I''m like, well YEAH. You don''t have to be all mushy about it, but you can give them the vague sense that you love me and are committed to me, which I don''t think they came out of that dinner thinking.

So yeah, that was fun....like if he IS ready and he HAS already bought the ring and he ISN''T freaked out any more......then WHAT IS THE POINT OF TELLING PEOPLE HE IS FREAKED OUT AND NOT READY????? Just to make me feel uncomfortable and sad for fun? Grrrrrr, not pleased tonight.

 

[Waited2Long]

Sorry to intrude, but since there''s no "Men''s Couch" forum, and since I learn so darn much in this forum, I do read quite a few posts here, and this thread has me smiling. I''m reading about what your boyfriend did, and I''m nodding my head in agreement ("Yeah, I''d say and do that too"), and at the same time I''m hearing the harsh tones and seeing all the little red unsmiley faces. You understand we don''t do these things on purpose, right? Really. We simply don''t have a clue.
Your bf was probably trying to make an excuse about why he hasn''t proposed yet--to reassure you it has nothing to do with you (believe it or not). The way I read it, I would paraphrase what he said as, "Yeah, we would have been married by now, because I know I want to be with her forever, but I''m a guy and the thought of being married scares me". Note that the thought of "being married" is an intimidating concept in and of itself, and does not need any connection whatsoever with the "who" to make us break out into a sweat. There are milestones in a man''s life that signal his departure from youth and reckless abandon, and we don''t like the thought of losing our youth and reckless abandon, even if, in reality, we''re already couch potatoes who need to be in bed by 10. Marriage is the biggest one and, if you''re already living together, the last one for a loooong time. I think having kids is the next one (same as marriage, in many of our minds). Baldness may be the next milestone after this.

My gf has been waiting (I assume) for 6 1/2 years. All her friends are married or engaged. I read these threads and I feel awful for her. But to her credit she has not signaled any unhappiness, at least not to me. No getting dragged into jewelry stores, or talking about marriage/engagement, or talking about married/engaged friends. Cross your fingers for me that she says "YES!" next month

.

There *SHOULD* be a Men''s Couch forum here, so us dudes can have our group therapy and maybe overcome our fears.

And I''m sure if there was, a lot of you would be in there looking for clues as to what makes us tick.

 

[perry]

I agree in large part with Waited2Long:

Gals, as bad as it seems - the behaviours you describe are not isolated to men.

I too wanted to be engeged - and was hoping to be married soon. You would not believe all the stupid things that "she" did.

Perry

 

[larussel03]

I think that for the most part, we do not "do" anything "stupid" in here to aggrivate the bfs. I personally use the LIW board to vent and then I feel better and can go back to happy cheery me without taking it out on bf. Keep in mind you are not seeing what we show our bf''s. I mean, I''m happy with all other aspects of our relationship, and the last thing I want to do is say anything to make him uncomfortable or upsert, so I''m basically just waiting and it''s cathartic to come in here and vent our frustrations that we cant vent at them

 

[Buena Girl]

Date: 11/20/2005 10:23:26 AM
Author: *~Sweetpea~*
I think that for the most part, we do not 'do' anything 'stupid' in here to aggrivate the bfs. I personally use the LIW board to vent and then I feel better and can go back to happy cheery me without taking it out on bf. Keep in mind you are not seeing what we show our bf's. I mean, I'm happy with all other aspects of our relationship, and the last thing I want to do is say anything to make him uncomfortable or upsert, so I'm basically just waiting and it's cathartic to come in here and vent our frustrations that we cant vent at them

*~Sweetpea~* ---> Click on Perry's name and go back and read through some of his posts and topics over this past year. He's a sweetheart and I think you may have misunderstood what he posted. I think what he meant was that his former girlfriend (I think they're on break now?) did and said "stupid" things in real life to him. Similar to what happened to albicocca at dinner the other night. His point being that girls can also do things without realizing it might upset their b/f.

 

[MissAva]

Perry, having read what you wrote about D... well please dont lump me or in of the LIW with her. I know for a fact that I would never behave in such a manner. I dont like the idea of pressuring him so I post here and share the LIW experince with other ladies. He knows I do this and we feel it is a no harm no foul thing.

 

[Buena Girl]

I must be interpretting Perry''s post diffeently. I don''t think he''s lumping D with us. I think he''s lumping himself with us.

 

[larussel03]

Oh, I'm totally not offended or anything by perry, I was just explaining myself : ) No harsh tone intended, I dont know his personal sitch, and I'm sure he's great, and he doesnt know ours (and I KNOW we're all perfect and wonderful)

Sorry if it came off at all as if I were angry or felt put on the defensive, I'm totally not and wasnt

(must use more smilies so that people dont think I'm mad when I write something that could seem mad)

 

[Buena Girl]

Oh my goodness, sorry about that!!! I think it was the word stupid in quotes (like this: "stupid") that made me read it harsher than you had intended. Hahaaa...either that or the fact that I only got around 4 hours sleep last night and my brain feels a bit sluggish

 

[larussel03]

Date: 11/20/2005 12:04:59 PM
Author: Buena Girl
Oh my goodness, sorry about that!!! I think it was the word stupid in quotes (like this: ''stupid'') that made me read it harsher than you had intended. Hahaaa...either that or the fact that I only got around 4 hours sleep last night and my brain feels a bit sluggish

Yeah, I wrote it shortly after waking up too, and I''m still sick so I didnt put the time into selecting the proper smilies Hopefully I didnt ruin the tone of a thread I started!!!

 

[SoonIHope]

I think Waited2Long, Perry, and Sweetpea ALL made good points!

Waited2Long - thanks, your interpretation of man-thought does make me feel better.

I knew that he wasn''t TRYING to upset me, but it just bugged me that he couldn''t understand why that might be at all awkward for me. Because all the "we would be married by now" stuff wasn''t really implied to these people who didn''t know us very well... but I know he was well meaning enough, and honestly I was kind of impressed that he was discussing the concept of marriage in any context so casually!

Perry - I wasn''t trying to say that men are the only ones like that at all. Actually, the married woman was even saying last night that SHE was the one in her relationship who was freaking out when her now-husband first brought up the idea of getting engaged. It''s just that since they were already married by the time we were talking to them, I felt it was understood that they worked through all that and were happily committed by now, whereas my boyfriend and I were apparently still in "freaked-out" stage.

But as for what Sweetpea said, please DO note that we do just use this forum a lot for ranting when we know it''s not worth picking fights with our boyfriends.

I did ask him why he was saying all that, but in a good enough natured way, because I am well aware that he has already bought the ring, so there isn''t really a committment issue there for us, it was just more of an "if you''ve already made the committment why are you afraid to give off a committment-vibe to people." And his explanation made enough sense for me that I wasn''t actually mad about it, but just frustrated enough that I wanted to hear some LIWs say "oh man that sucks" in a nice general supportive manner, even though of course I KNOW it''s not a big deal. Because the big deal is that he IS committed and HAS bought the ring and IS going to propose any dayyyy nowwwwwww. But since I''m in that crazy waiting stage where I just want to be able to tell everyone that WE ARE ENGAGED, it''s hard when he''s projecting the opposite image to people. Not for any real relationship-relevant reason, just because I''m ready to be able to make it public that we are at that level of committment. So yeah, not angry at anyone (do I need to put more smilies in to make that clear?

) hehe, but just wanted to make it clear that we weren''t really fighting and I wasn''t really doing the whole big evil pressure thing, since, you know, we''re already pretty much THERE. Soooo, yeah, gotta watch a movie now, he''s bugging me for taking too long on pricescope (ahem, again

)

 

[perry]

Buena Girl had my intent right

"I must be interpretting Perry''s post diffeently. I don''t think he''s lumping D with us. I think he''s lumping himself with us."

------------------------------------------


While I understand that this is principally a gals forum (especially now that it has been renamed). Their are guys out their who are waiting for the gal to say "yes." We go through many of same trials and tribulations that you all go through waiting on the guys. Most guys do not post. But then I have never been accused of following the crowd (in fact, a high school budy did a public reading of a "expose" on me about how I march to a different drummer" (I have a copy to this day).


A bit of an update though... "D" and I have recently talked; and I think she is beginning to see things differently. Of course, thagt is a long way from saying that she is back to a point of my considering marriage.

At the same time, it seems that another gal made sure she was noticed by me at a meeting I was at last Thursday (I''ve seen her at various business meetings for many years, and last month down in Chicago I told here that things were off with "D)." Now this was subtle, but the gal in question is outwardly the quite type.

I should be seeing her at another business meeting in several weeks. We''ll see what transpires their (slow and cautions on my part).

One thing I have learned; whomever I do mary will have to be able to support the concept of building a side business for the future. Too many people cannot see beyond the job. I don''t see how I can depend on a job to take care of my future. Heck, I''m not even sure that I will have my current job in another year or so (my position does not exist on the preliminary reorganization chart).

Other than that; Ladies, have a nice day.

Perry

 

[snuga]

I can''t wait.. all I can think is when? when?? when??? when???? WHEN????? AHHH!!!

 

[Erin]

Ooooooh I can feel it already. My sister was just given her own store for the first time - she starts operations Friday morning.
My brother hasn''t worked in a few months and just found out yesterday he got his dream job WITH a signing bonus but isn''t going to tell M&D until T-day.
My Dad has good news too he''s keeping a secret. Great. I told bf everyone else is going to be sharing ''good news'' tomorrow..... I received ''the look'' you know, head tilted down kind of over the glasses (if he wore glasses.)

Okay, Christmas is right around the corner....

I want it NOW - Veruca Salt