4 months with the ring...without the ring, help

[kcoursolle]

Hey friends, I think this thread is an example of girl soon vs. boy soon. So...it''s been about four months now that we''ve had the ring, but it''s sitting in a drawer because he hasn''t asked me yet. I didn''t say anything for a long time because we were still long distance. He''s here now, yay! I''m very very happy he''s here, but I feel like it''s time to get engaged, but he doesn''t seem to be in any hurry what so ever.


I asked him about it gently and he said something like, don''t worry about it, we''ll be engaged before your fall quarter starts (beginning of sept)? ANOTHER 4 MONTHS!?? Seriously, this is torture, ak!!! I''ve really tried to be patient, but I''m wearing down. I really feel like he doesn''t seem to understand why it''s hard to wait any longer.

The good news is that I know he wants to marry me, we even have a ring...it''s just a matter of time.........

So...how do I stay patient...for another 4 MONTHS!!!! I don''t want to bug him too much because I think he wants to do this part on his own and have some element of surprise, so I don''t want to nag him with sooner sooner sooner, etc.

 

[bee*]

I know-its infuriating!! I have a year to wait and I feel the exact same as you-Im going nuts! Im trying not to bring it up but its very hard not too. That would drive me crazy having the ring there. I dont know why they dont move faster. My boyfriend is the same-we know that we will get married and spend our life togethere however he is still not rushed to do it yet! Men

 

[dani13]

Date: 5/29/2006 4:16:23 PM
Author:kcoursolle
Hey friends, I think this thread is an example of girl soon vs. boy soon. So...it''s been about four months now that we''ve had the ring, but it''s sitting in a drawer because he hasn''t asked me yet. I didn''t say anything for a long time because we were still long distance. He''s here now, yay! I''m very very happy he''s here, but I feel like it''s time to get engaged, but he doesn''t seem to be in any hurry what so ever.


I asked him about it gently and he said something like, don''t worry about it, we''ll be engaged before your fall quarter starts (beginning of sept)? ANOTHER 4 MONTHS!?? Seriously, this is torture, ak!!! I''ve really tried to be patient, but I''m wearing down. I really feel like he doesn''t seem to understand why it''s hard to wait any longer.

The good news is that I know he wants to marry me, we even have a ring...it''s just a matter of time.........

So...how do I stay patient...for another 4 MONTHS!!!! I don''t want to bug him too much because I think he wants to do this part on his own and have some element of surprise, so I don''t want to nag him with sooner sooner sooner, etc.

Kcoursolle-

Maybe your bf is just trying to throw you off? You never know. My FI kept saying "around NewYears" and it was October and I was getting restless...well little did I know he planned on giving me the ring in Puerto Rico, where we had planned to go in early November for a quick getaway. He completely surprised me, because he really threw me off by saying it was coming around New years''s....so its always a possibility....

No matter what, just try to stay cool, I know its hard, but the time will come, just let him do it his way, because believe me, it comes and goes so quickly- like a flash of time...sometimes I wish I could go back and relive it -so dont worry, good things are coming your way, just try to stop at times to take it all in!!!

 

[kcoursolle]

Thanks, i''ll try to keep it chill. It would be awesome if he was trying to throw me off and do it sooner! We are taking a few small trips this summer, but I''ll try to not think about that in casee he really does want to wait until sept. Who knows...

 

[eleguin]

Hi kcoursolle, I totally understand what you are going through. I just got engaged 2 weeks ago and for almost a whole year prior to that, I was so antsy just waiting for it! Especially the last month when I knew he had the ring, it was so hard for me to focus on studying for finals. I swim for about an hour a day and from Feb through May, almost all my thoughts while doing my laps were consumed with how grand life would be once we got engaged.

Although I'm ecstatic to be engaged at last, I finally realized that we are the same people now as we were two weeks ago, except plus a ring on my finger. Everyone around us seems to think that we should have changed in some way, but to each other, we're pretty much the same. When I went swimming yesterday after a few weeks break, I almost laughed at myself when I found myself thinking about other things while swimming my laps. I thought about how silly I was and how little I appreciated the other joys in life before I got engaged because I was too antsy thinking about being engaged.

So although I know it's hard to hear the words "be patient," it is true that you will spend most of your life married to him and a fair amount of time engaged to him, so there are only a few more months left of being just you just the way you are now. Try to put things in perspective and enjoy your life now. You know it's just a matter of time

 

[anchor31]

I''m right here with you, sister... Ring bought last Saturday, ready by June 24th, not picked up before late July and given... ??? I''m not sure what advice to give you, but I think what will keep me sane is having to focus on other very important things (school transfer, finding a place to stay, etc.). And of course, the LIWs will help!

 

[kcoursolle]

I''m sure there are quite a few of us who have gone through something like this. Out of curiosity, anyone know the record length of time between ring purchase and proposal?? If I''m going to wait another four months, I might as well get excited about breaking a record or something heehee.

By the way, congrats on your wonderful jeweler experience and the purchase of your ring Anchor! Can''t wait to see it, and I''m sure you can''t wait to have it on your hand!

 

[~*Alexis*~]

yeah I know what you are going through and it is hard, but think of all the fun you can have afterwards. that will keep you going. You can always increase your bridal **** stash and "acidentally" leave it somewhere...

 

[kcoursolle]

That''s a good one...bridal ****, haha. I would never do this, but part of me wants to just start wearing the ring around the house in front of him and see what he does. But I wouldn''t dare!

I do however, take the ring out sometimes when he''s not home

 

[firebirdgold]

Does anyone know why guys do this? It''s totally incomprehensible to me. Why do they buy the ring if they''re not ready to ask?? God, this better not happen to me or it''d be nerf baseball bat time.

Hang in there!

 

[kcoursolle]

how about a supersoaker?!!! heehee

 

[anchor31]

Thank you k!! You''re right, I can''t wait to wear it... I''m so excited!

I think it''s just because J has a date in mind. He was planning on asking the jeweler to have it ready by late July, by he told us they''ll have it done by June 24th and he come come in and pick it up when he''s ready. So, we''ll see.

 

[aljdewey]

Date: 5/30/2006 4:16:01 AM
Author: IndieJones

Does anyone know why guys do this? It''s totally incomprehensible to me. Why do they buy the ring if they''re not ready to ask??

Yes, I think I do know why they do this.

They buy the ring because they *are* ready to ask.....but they want it to be unexpected when they do. That is really, really important to them.....the element of surprise.

And what do we do? We ask and ask and ask about it, and keep ruining the surprise. So, it keeps getting pushed off.

The way to have it happen sooner: have a little faith in your guy. If he''s bought the ring, let it go and let him do what''s important to him. The engagement is about both people......and the excitement of being able to ask when it''s not expected is as important to the man as being asked is to the woman.

 

[aquarius_ser]

aljdewey, I couldn''t have said it better!!!!!

You are 100% correct and that''s why I talk about it at work EVERYDAY instead of at home. I work with all men and I''m sure I''m driving them nuts but who cares?!!!!!

Just kidding, they are also pulling for me!

 

[kcoursolle]

aljdewey and aquarious, I do hope you are correct! I try my best to talk to you all instead of him about this. I will try to be a good girl and not say anything.

 

[kcoursolle]

Update, what do you think this means? My bf tonight held up my hand with his and compared it to his and said, "I just wanted to see how small your hands are." Could mean nothing, but he''s never done anything like that before...

 

[dani13]

Hmmmm...isnt the ring already made? I am confused....

 

[kcoursolle]

yup, the ring is completely done...I''m confused too. Could mean nothing, no idea what it does mean if he has something up his sleeve.