merrymunky
Brilliant_Rock
- Joined
- Oct 17, 2008
- Messages
- 1,069
I apologise in advance, for this may be long!!
Ok, so I am five weeks away from the big day and up till this point NOTHING has particularly niggled at me. For me, this is great because I usually get stressed out very easily. However, this last few days I have started to get stressed out with certain aspects of the wedding.
Perhaps my biggest niggle at the moment is the lack of respect people sow when RSVPing. If you send out an invite with an RSVP address AND email address, you should expect people to use those details to formally reply yes? Even my own MOTHER sent an acceptance card, bless her. To be fair, most of the day guests attending the ceremony and sit down reception HAVE replied via the appropriate means, or have spoken to me directly. However, the evening guests are TERRIBLE at replying. Only one has ent an email to confirm. The rest have done it verbally. The ones who FI invtied just told him "yes" without telling him if they are bringing the +1 we indicated. So at this point in time we have no idea how many people to provide the buffet for. It''s insane. How difficult is it to send a ittle letter, acceptance card or email? JUST RUBBISH!! I thought most people would respect etiquette and reply properly. I''ve told him to go and chase his crowd up to find out properly, most of my crowd have spoken to me so that''s ok.
We only have 10 more days for people to RSVP so they need to pull their finger out. Oh, and some of them even told my FI that they "didn''t know" that they had to reply properly. WTF?? Why is there an ADDRESS and email address then? Dear GOD...SERIOUSLY?
Then there is my FI''s best man. He''s hardly a best man. Ross has worked with the guy for two years and they get on like a house in fire. There is no one else really as our social circle dispersed years ago when people moved, got married and had families etc. So he has no real close friend who he could have asked. He''s had NO input to the wedding. He never mentions it to my FI, he doesn''t even really know me so goodness knows how he can plan a speech for us. I thought my FI would have picked his good friend Adam, who lives hours away but visits us at least once to twice a year. I get on well with him. SDure, he drives me a little crazy after a couple of days, but he is a good laugh. I have no idea why my FI didn''t want him. I suggested him a few times. There is one other guy, Rick, who is also rather close to. They have been out a lot again lately to gigs etc and he is also a lovely guy. I think my FI may be on the verge of changing his mind about his best man, but it is so near and is it really enough time to ask someone else? Plus, the original guy may just be very laid back and may be extremely hurt if asked to step down.
I am sad because my favorite uncle is extremely ill at the moment. He has cancer of the bladder and may not be well enough to attend. He lives hours away too so it would be a traumatic journey to make if he was unwell. I love him to death and can''t imagine him not being there with his great sense of humour.
If he doesn''t come it could impact some other family members coming too. His son was bringing him down with my uncles ladyfriend and my older brother. (They all live in the same town) However if my uncle is too unwell, then my cousin may not come either, which then poses a great problem in getting my older brother here. Now, my older brother has a lot of hang ups. He is extremely self conscious, depressive, anxious and agoraphobic. He has already refused Plan B which was for my Mum to book him onto a coach or train. He is not comfortable enough to be in such an enclosed space with strangers. So the next plan was that maybe my mum and step dad would go up the friday before to collect him, bring him down here, then take him back home a couple of days after the wedding. BUT, he doesn''t want to be away from home for so long, his anxiety won''t let him. (It''s a 5-6 hour journey by car, so my parents even offering to do this is very generous. My step dad is 68 years old, it would tire him out)
My other invited uncle hasn''t replied yet at all. He hadn''t "figured out his plans for the summer" when the invites were sent out. So if he had no plans, why not RSVP THEN make plans? All the plans will be jetting off somewhere anyway. He is VERY well off and spends most of his time country hopping. It seems odd that if he had no holiday plans at the time he was invited, that he could work around it If he books a holiday now for the wedding week I will be very annoyed.
And lastly, for now...
I just found out that the bridesmaid dresses DON''T FIT the girls anymore. The younger BM is fine, her dress left her lots of room to grow over summer. BUT the two 12 years olds who wil be very nearly 13 come the weding have grown and "developed" a lot since we bought the dresses in March/April. I am gutted. They LOVED their dress and we hunted high and low to find a store who could order an age 13 dress in for the girl who was slightly bigger.
Now we may have to change the dresses altogether. The one who had the age 12 dress can fit into the age 13 dress and the one who had the age 13 dress now needs an age 14 and I dount we will find one in time now.
We have changed our guestlist recently. Initially the wedding ceremony and sit down meal was family only but we have decided to bump up some close friends from the evening ceremony to the wholve event and as such I wish now I had asked my closest female friend to be a BM too, as all my BM''s currently are children. (They are my neices).
Could I even ask my friend at this point in time to step in as my adult friend BM? We would never get her a dress in a matching red at this late stage surely? The wedding colours are red and black. The BM''s are wearing red satin prom dresses. If I asked my friend, could she co-ordinate with an adult black satin prom dress as a contrast to the girls?
HELP.
If you have read all this I am so sorry, but thankful that you stuck with it. I am starting to stress!
Ok, so I am five weeks away from the big day and up till this point NOTHING has particularly niggled at me. For me, this is great because I usually get stressed out very easily. However, this last few days I have started to get stressed out with certain aspects of the wedding.
Perhaps my biggest niggle at the moment is the lack of respect people sow when RSVPing. If you send out an invite with an RSVP address AND email address, you should expect people to use those details to formally reply yes? Even my own MOTHER sent an acceptance card, bless her. To be fair, most of the day guests attending the ceremony and sit down reception HAVE replied via the appropriate means, or have spoken to me directly. However, the evening guests are TERRIBLE at replying. Only one has ent an email to confirm. The rest have done it verbally. The ones who FI invtied just told him "yes" without telling him if they are bringing the +1 we indicated. So at this point in time we have no idea how many people to provide the buffet for. It''s insane. How difficult is it to send a ittle letter, acceptance card or email? JUST RUBBISH!! I thought most people would respect etiquette and reply properly. I''ve told him to go and chase his crowd up to find out properly, most of my crowd have spoken to me so that''s ok.
We only have 10 more days for people to RSVP so they need to pull their finger out. Oh, and some of them even told my FI that they "didn''t know" that they had to reply properly. WTF?? Why is there an ADDRESS and email address then? Dear GOD...SERIOUSLY?
Then there is my FI''s best man. He''s hardly a best man. Ross has worked with the guy for two years and they get on like a house in fire. There is no one else really as our social circle dispersed years ago when people moved, got married and had families etc. So he has no real close friend who he could have asked. He''s had NO input to the wedding. He never mentions it to my FI, he doesn''t even really know me so goodness knows how he can plan a speech for us. I thought my FI would have picked his good friend Adam, who lives hours away but visits us at least once to twice a year. I get on well with him. SDure, he drives me a little crazy after a couple of days, but he is a good laugh. I have no idea why my FI didn''t want him. I suggested him a few times. There is one other guy, Rick, who is also rather close to. They have been out a lot again lately to gigs etc and he is also a lovely guy. I think my FI may be on the verge of changing his mind about his best man, but it is so near and is it really enough time to ask someone else? Plus, the original guy may just be very laid back and may be extremely hurt if asked to step down.
I am sad because my favorite uncle is extremely ill at the moment. He has cancer of the bladder and may not be well enough to attend. He lives hours away too so it would be a traumatic journey to make if he was unwell. I love him to death and can''t imagine him not being there with his great sense of humour.
If he doesn''t come it could impact some other family members coming too. His son was bringing him down with my uncles ladyfriend and my older brother. (They all live in the same town) However if my uncle is too unwell, then my cousin may not come either, which then poses a great problem in getting my older brother here. Now, my older brother has a lot of hang ups. He is extremely self conscious, depressive, anxious and agoraphobic. He has already refused Plan B which was for my Mum to book him onto a coach or train. He is not comfortable enough to be in such an enclosed space with strangers. So the next plan was that maybe my mum and step dad would go up the friday before to collect him, bring him down here, then take him back home a couple of days after the wedding. BUT, he doesn''t want to be away from home for so long, his anxiety won''t let him. (It''s a 5-6 hour journey by car, so my parents even offering to do this is very generous. My step dad is 68 years old, it would tire him out)
My other invited uncle hasn''t replied yet at all. He hadn''t "figured out his plans for the summer" when the invites were sent out. So if he had no plans, why not RSVP THEN make plans? All the plans will be jetting off somewhere anyway. He is VERY well off and spends most of his time country hopping. It seems odd that if he had no holiday plans at the time he was invited, that he could work around it If he books a holiday now for the wedding week I will be very annoyed.
And lastly, for now...
I just found out that the bridesmaid dresses DON''T FIT the girls anymore. The younger BM is fine, her dress left her lots of room to grow over summer. BUT the two 12 years olds who wil be very nearly 13 come the weding have grown and "developed" a lot since we bought the dresses in March/April. I am gutted. They LOVED their dress and we hunted high and low to find a store who could order an age 13 dress in for the girl who was slightly bigger.
Now we may have to change the dresses altogether. The one who had the age 12 dress can fit into the age 13 dress and the one who had the age 13 dress now needs an age 14 and I dount we will find one in time now.
We have changed our guestlist recently. Initially the wedding ceremony and sit down meal was family only but we have decided to bump up some close friends from the evening ceremony to the wholve event and as such I wish now I had asked my closest female friend to be a BM too, as all my BM''s currently are children. (They are my neices).
Could I even ask my friend at this point in time to step in as my adult friend BM? We would never get her a dress in a matching red at this late stage surely? The wedding colours are red and black. The BM''s are wearing red satin prom dresses. If I asked my friend, could she co-ordinate with an adult black satin prom dress as a contrast to the girls?
HELP.
If you have read all this I am so sorry, but thankful that you stuck with it. I am starting to stress!
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