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[strmrdr]

THE KING OF THE JUNGLE IS NO LITERARY FOOL
A lion was roaming an African jungle. He was terribly hungry. Soon, he came across two men sitting under a tree. One was pounding away on a typewriter. The other was reading a book. The lion devoured the man reading the book. He avoided the writer. Even lions know that readers digest and writers cramp.

 

[strmrdr]

A priest and pastor from the local parishes are standing by the side of the road holding up a sign that reads, "The End is Near! Turn yourself around now before it''s too late!"

They planned to hold up the sign to each passing car.

"Leave us alone you religious nuts!" yelled the first driver as he sped by.

From around the curve they heard screeching tires and a big splash. "Do you think," said one clergy to the other, "we should just put up a sign that says ''Bridge Out'' instead?"

 

[strmrdr]

There was this city doctor who started a practice in the countryside. He once had to go to a farm to attend to a sick farmer who lived there. After a few housecalls he stopped coming to the farm. The puzzled farmer finally phoned him to ask whats the matter, didn''t he like him or somethin''. The doctor said, "No, its your ducks at the entrance...every time I enter the farm, they verbally insult me!"

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"Doctors at a hospital in Brooklyn, New York have gone on strike. Hospital officials say they will find out what the Doctors'' demands are as soon as they can get a pharmacist over there to read the picket signs."

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A guy walks into the psychiatrist''s and says "Doctor, doctor, you''ve got to help me! I keep thinking that I''m a deck of cards!"

The shrink says "Sit over there and I''ll deal with you later."

 

[Richard Sherwood]

90 year old man intends to marry 16 year old girl. His family took him along to talk to his doctor about it.

Doctor, "Do you realize this could be fatal?"

Old man, "Oh well. If she dies, she dies!"