a little talk...or two...

[parrot tulips]

Several weeks ago, I worked up the courage to ask the boyfriend if he saw a future with me - one that included marriage and children. I am certain he is "it" for me; there is no doubt in my mind. I also let him know that I''d like to start trying for a family by my mid 30''s (we''re both early 30''s). He assured me that we were on the same page, and not to worry about having to wait too long. Yay!

That answer suited me just fine at the time, but I was hoping to get a more specific time frame, so I brought it up again last week. I explained that it was difficult for me to be in limbo, and asked if he knew what his time frame might be. He reiterated that I was it for him, that there was no question about that. But...I''m his first serious, long term relationship, so trying to absorb the enormity of something as big as marriage was going to take him a little time. Not "forever," but I did need to let him soak it all in. Plus, we''ve barely been dating one year (10 months, actually), so it''s not exactly like I can accuse him of dragging his feet

. My bringing it up again (and getting emotional), made him feel pressured. Long story short, I''m doing my best to practice a little patience, have faith, and enjoy my relationship. I have a feeling I''ll have to wait a little longer than my mental ideal (by the holidays), but it certainly won''t be an unreasonable amount of time either way. Anyhow, thanks for letting me get that off my chest.

 

[KCCutie]

I think over all you got some very good news.

After only 10 months he''s knows you''re the one. That''s great. Now just let it all marinate for a while and hang out here with all us LIW any time you need some support.

I think my SO felt the same way and once it hit him that he was ready....there was no going back. So I know it''s hard but sit back and try to enjoy this time with your wonderful boyfriend knowing that soon enough he will be your husband. YAY!

 

[dreaming of the day]

10 months isn''t a long time so I think you had great news considering! I do though understand the limbo part, and guys have such a hard time zeroing in on a time frame. It doesn''t matter what time frame we are talking about (what time is he going to come home or when he plans on proposing) they just hate tying themselves down to a specific time. I don''t think they understand that we need time frames, it makes us have something to look forward to and to plan around. If it doesn''t happen within the time frame we are usually understanding, after buckets of tears of course, that it is due to circumstances (I just don''t think they know this about us!) I can''t say to explain this to him, cause if you bring it up again you are going to look a little obsessive! Just give it some time and bring it up again in a couple of months if you haven''t been talking about it.

 

[parrot tulips]

Date: 7/7/2008 2:23:33 PM
Author: KCCutie
I think over all you got some very good news.

After only 10 months he''s knows you''re the one. That''s great. Now just let it all marinate for a while and hang out here with all us LIW any time you need some support.

I think my SO felt the same way and once it hit him that he was ready....there was no going back. So I know it''s hard but sit back and try to enjoy this time with your wonderful boyfriend knowing that soon enough he will be your husband. YAY!

Thanks for the perspective. I needed a few grounded words of wisdom. Friends (both mine and his) and family aren''t very helpful in that respect, because I keep getting asked when we''re going to get married, or what the hold up is. After months of all that (yep, they started in on me EARLY), being 30 something, and having my 2 best friends getting married in August, I guess things got to me a little. Time to put on my big girl pants and just let myself enjoy the good thing that I''ve got.

 

[KCCutie]

Oh honey I''m right there with you. I''ve been getting that from my family for quite some time too and I''m 31 so I hear a little ticking in the background with out their help if you know what I mean.

Also his little sister and a and even younger cousin are getting married this fall so everyone is zoning in on us wondering and asking when it will happen. At first I had a really hard time with it, and I''m really not sure where I turned the corner but now I''m so at peace with it I just know it''s going to happen. Actually I was at a party with all our engaged friends this weekend and a new friend asked me if E and I were engaged "because everyone else is" and I swear a couple weeks ago I would have burst out in tears and I this time I finally had the strength just to laugh and smile.....and let me tell you it felt so good.

All the ladies here are so helpful and understanding so lean on us as much as you need to and try to give your honey some time to "let it all sink in" and you''ll be engaged before you know it.

 

[purrfectpear]

From what you''ve said I''m going to guess that it''s somewhere between the holidays and this time next year. If he''s OK with admitting that you''re the one, then he probably only needs another 6 months to a year to make an official proposal. Now that you''ve had "the talk" he may be thinking rings, budget, saving, etc.

Enjoy the time together, I think he''s on board

 

[Izzy03]

Sounds like he is on the right path! You do want to be surprised so don''t be too impatient!