A ring and a budget

[rubybeth]

So over the weekend, the boyfriend S and I visited my friend E at work at the jewelry store her family owns, and she briefly showed me the 1 carat asscher cut diamond solitaire they have in right now. I guess it didn''t strike me until later how utterly beautiful the ring was. The band is 2mm and I went back today to find out more about the stone, due to the nagging feeling I had. It''s exactly 1 carat, 0 cut on their scale, G color, VS1 or VS2 clarity (not as important to me as cut and carat), and the price on the tag is $8,200. Oh dang! I really love that ring.

Kurt was very helpful in the store today and we talked for a while. The ring looks so amazing on my hand (I''m a size 5.25). The tiny little band makes the diamond look even bigger, and I like how high the stone is set (a bit of an embellished prong setting). It''s g-o-r-g-e-o-u-s. I showed S an asscher cut from Blue Nile and I said, "That''s the ring." He agreed it was awesome and made me bookmark it for him.

Ideally, he would get "the ring" at my friend''s family''s store, because they have a great diamond replacement policy and because my connection to E could mean an even better ''discount'' than even the store''s student discount, plus my friend could ease any anxiety and I trust her to help him pick out something great, even if it''s not that specific ring. Except that Kurt quoted me a touch more than $5K for asscher today (because S is a student) and wrote down the price he quoted. Oh crap, oh crap! Only $5K for a perfect 1 carat? Granted, it''s in white gold, but maybe they would reset it for me in platinum? S seems pretty keen on the idea of platinum because of the cost to maintain it. Plus, Kurt explained the store''s warranty, and I don''t really think we could get a better deal anywhere else.

How could I possibly convince S to spend that much on a ring for me when he said his budget is about $2K? Ack! Oh well, maybe a miracle will happen, or maybe I can set my sights on an asscher that''s closer to the price range.

Thanks for this wonderful place to vent my crazy diamond-hunting stories!

 

[rubybeth]

Or maybe I could offer to pay for part of it? Is that crazy-talk?

 

[MoonWater]

Date: 11/15/2007 1:25:19 PM
Author: rubybeth
Or maybe I could offer to pay for part of it? Is that crazy-talk?

Not in my world. I offered to pay for mine. Not sure if I will be taken up on that offer, but I made it just the same. I don''t want money to be an issue when it comes to getting the ring I want.

 

[bee*]

Date: 11/15/2007 1:25:19 PM
Author: rubybeth
Or maybe I could offer to pay for part of it? Is that crazy-talk?

I think that''s a great idea. Maybe see could he raise his budget to $2500 and then you could each pay half. If he''s against that idea, then I would look for one in your price-range

 

[~*Snow*~]

Date: 11/15/2007 1:25:19 PM
Author: rubybeth
Or maybe I could offer to pay for part of it? Is that crazy-talk?

I offered to pay for my setting to maximize FF budget on the diamond... It took him alittle while to agree, but eventually he realized it''d make me happy to have a better diamond and agreed to let me pay for the setting..... i think i good the better end of the deal!

 

[tberube]

Date: 11/15/2007 1:25:19 PM
Author: rubybeth
Or maybe I could offer to pay for part of it? Is that crazy-talk?

I offered to pay for half of mine. He said no, but I would have certainly done it. The way I figure it, what's his and mine will soon be "ours" anyway...

 

[anchor31]

I paid for my own setting, so it''s definitely something I recommend!

Good luck!

 

[Pandora II]

I offered to pay anything over the budget FI set. Even my parents, who are super conservative thought it was a good idea. I wanted to get the setting I wanted and didn''t want to worry about the budget.

In the end I only went $1k or so over budget and FI turned round and said he was amazed my overspend was that low and he''d budgeted for my doing this anyway! He didn''t want me to compromise because I was worried about his $$. That guy knows me TOO well!

 

[ImpatientOne]

I gave my then df my diamond rhr and my diamond studs as a trade-in towards my e-ring!

 

[stbfyffe]

I am also paying for my setting b/c i want every penny going towards the diamond. It took the bf a while to understand that me paying for the setting is ok but now he is totally fine with it.

 

[rubybeth]

Well, I took your comments to heart and really think I would help pay for any ring that S wanted to get me if it was beyond his means at the point when he''d want to propose (sometime in 2008?). I like the idea a lot, since once we got married, what''s mine is his anyway.

Also, I mentioned to S that I went and looked at the asscher ring again, and that I really think my hunt could be over, and he didn''t say no. Of course, I told him the higher price first, then the smaller amount I was quoted, and that potentially my friend could nudge it even lower. He was kind of agog, but I offerred to help, or if he really makes it a set budget and doesn''t want my help, to look for a smaller stone. I know this is probably a question for Rocky Talky, but is around $5K a reasonable price for a really stellar 1 carat asscher solitaire in white gold?

He uses jewelry shopping as an incentive to get me to behave, and it works!

He asked if it would "help" if we went and looked at the ring again sometime this weekend, and maybe take some photos. I said "YES!!!" of course. So potentially he will fall in love with it, too. I think he secretly would like me to have a really nice ring, since I know he is proud to introduce me as his girlfriend, and would be even happier to call me his wife... with something pretty darn sparkly on my hand!

Thank you for all your comments!!

 

[Independent Gal]

Honey, there is nothing wrong with you chipping in for your ring if it''s OK with your boyfriend!

About your question re whether it''s a ''good price''. It''s certainly not a ''great price''. It might be a fair price or it might be way too much. In jewelry stores, stuff is generally marked up about 300%. Then if you ask for some kind of discount, you often get one, depending on the store. Jewelry stores are notorious places for ''marking up'' and then giving you a ''discount'' to make the customer feel they are getting a ''deal''. It sure sounds like that''s what''s going on here since 8K for that stone is OUTRAGEOUS - about DOUBLE the price for similar stones at bluenile, whiteflash, etc.

If your stone is GIA or AGS certified and it''s a G VS2 with a great cut, then 5K, set, is a fair-ish price, but nothing special, as you''ll see by searching above where it says ''pricescope your diamond''. You can find a stone just as nice for quite a bit less, actually, and a gold solitaire band can cost as little as $100. But if your diamond is NOT certified by GIA or AGS, then it probably is NOT a G/VS1 great cut, but is in fact overgraded, and you are probably being asked to pay WAY too much.

Just because your friend works there does not mean you will get the best deal! So just be careful is all.

And I am not saying your friend is trying to cheat you or that jewelers are dishonest, just that you really have to know what you''re doing to make sure the price is fair. So please read up on here before making a decision!

 

[rubybeth]

Independent Gal, you are quite right. I just did the PriceScope search, and came back with numbers that make me quite happy!

I think I will avoid my friend''s family''s store and hit the internet in a big way when S gets more serious about diamond hunting. I am glad, however, that I know I love the cut and the setting of that ring which I can see in person, and can show my boyfriend the price comparison. Plus, the ring is the store is white gold, and S really seriously wants us to have platinum rings.

Again, thanks to everyone for your comments/advice!

 

[E B]

ruby,

You could always go with a vendor who has an upgrade policy and choose a setting with a head that can be changed. That way, if you want a larger diamond when funds become available, you can trade it in for something bigger but keep from losing anything on the setting.

 

[mirre]

If you would still like to be able to get your ring from your friend''s store but want the best price, could you get the diamond online (to get the best value) and then have them set it there at the store? If it''s a simple solitaire setting they may even have one in platinum or be able to make one for you.

Good luck! Hope you get something WONDERFUL!

 

[rubybeth]

I really like all the ring ideas you''ve all given me! Thanks so much.

I had a sort of bad day on Saturday, but S went with me to class (I commute for my graduate degree to the Twin Cities area) and I appreciated that he woke up really early with me and drove for me. I guess I was feeling sad that my timeline for our getting engaged/married is so far in the future. I kind of feel like we should both be done with school--May of 2009 for both of us--before we''re married, however I also feel like being engaged now for an extended period of time might not be a bad thing...

So, I had a bit of a frustrating and semi-public crying jag, with both of us frustrated about lack of money in general, and me wanting a ring. I finally just said, "If I said I would be okay without an e-ring, could we get engaged sooner?" to which he asked how long I think it''s going to be before he would propose. I said, realistically, not for another year or so, and not be married for a year or so after that.

He said he was actually thinking of asking me in the spring. As in, of 2008. I was kind of aghast, but who knows? So, it''s still more waiting, but maybe not for as long as I thought.