advice please

[knds]

my fiance purchased my engagement ring alone. i asked him not to do this because we have completely opposite tastes in jewelry, i have had to exchange almost everything he has ever given me. before he bought the ring, i showed him pictures of what i like. my ring is completely opposite of what i would pick for myself. he didn''t do any shopping around, he picked something out from the first store he went to, and paid about $700 too much. I found my exact ring at 3 others places for $350. i just feel dissapointed that he didn''t take my feelings into consideration on a piece of jewelry that i am going to wear forever. how should i aproach this issue with him? i have tried to let the ring "grow" on me, but in 3 months it hasn''t. i''m not materialistic and shallow. i just feel that he ignored my wishes and got "taked advantage of". for what he paid he could''ve gotten something that i love, i''ve even found rings that i love that were still cheaper than what he spent.

 

[Bethanying]

Is there any way that the stone(s) could be reset into a setting that suits you more? I'm afraid you might hurt his feelings if you got rid of the ring completely.

What does the ring look like? Have you talked to your fh to tell him it's not what you would have picked? Maybe he would have no problem trading it in if you really didn't like it... Just some thoughts. I'm sorry you don't like the ring he picked- but maybe you both can come to a compromise

Bethany

 

[wonka27]

In many cases, people seem very shallow about what they receive in a ring!

This case, my opinion is your fiancee screwed up and you have every right to be upset about it. It seems clear that there are "taste issues" dividing you two. There is nothing wrong with that, but it does make sense to allow for advice when shopping for one and other. You showed him what you liked, and would have went with him to look around! I think it was inconsiderate on his part to buy something for you that you will wear the rest of your life knowing it is different than what you wanted.

I'd try to work something out and get something different!

 

[JohnQuixote]

I think Wonka has the right of it.

It’s perfectly understandable that you feel awkward approaching the person you care most about to tell him you’re not pleased with his chosen token. However, if you're planning on spending the rest of your lives together, anything this important to you should be open to discussion.

If you choose to address it, my wish is that any hurt he may initially feel will be quickly replaced by a desire to find what you hoped for, followed by healthy satisfaction for both of you when he succeeds.

Best wishes,

 

[yowahking]

There is a guy somewhere on the internet and writes for jewelry magazines, named Dave Richardson. He has books for guys who don't know how to pop the question and how to present jewelry, even how to find out what she likes. Should be in the hands of every HS senior. Men don't like to feel stupid, we are used to being wrong sometimes. As long as you don't make him feel stupid, and share that you are happy with the intent, and show him how you could be more happy with a different style, and save him money, he will get over the wrong choice. My wife says a happy wife is the only way to a happy husband.

 

[Bethanying]

HS senior???? A little young maybe?

 

[yowahking]

I work with 3 local HS's. 18% are either planning to get engaged, wanting to get engaged, or sometimes forgot to use condoms- engaged. They usually have no idea how to buy a diamond, how to present it, or what the girl likes. Never too early to educate about anything.

 

[denverappraiser]

18%!!!!

It must have something to do with sunny Arizona. Is it that high everywhere? Their lack of skills at buying diamonds is not the biggest concern here.

Neil Beaty, GG ISA
Independent Appraisals in Denver

 

[yowahking]

Lack of jewelry skill is not top concern here either. Despite the son of 2 teachers, I am not qualified to help with math or several other subjects.
I am involved with the DECA students (marketing) which really shapes the business leaders of the future. Interesting stat that more than 50% of HS grads will work for small business in some way or another. Only 10% take business classes.

 

[wonka27]

----------------
On 9/11/2004 2:19:19 AM yowahking wrote:


I am involved with the DECA students (marketing) which really shapes the business leaders of the future. Interesting stat that more than 50% of HS grads will work for small business in some way or another. Only 10% take business classes. ----------------

As a business education teacher, I couldn't help but to comment here although off the topic! Every year I plead with kids before they schedule to think about business courses. So many will end up in business in some form or another, and don't take advantage of the offerings in high school to get them started. But the system is flawed and hopefully one day it will be straightened out. Business curriculum has gone from preparing students for work immediately after high school to basically becoming a joke. I'd like to see more definition to "college prep" programs that focus on career tracks. Kids who know they want to get into business many times till take all the sciences, maths, etc., but could really help themselves by skipping some of those higher level courses to become more involved in what they plan to do with their life. I guess it is societies ideals that a college prep kid take the highest honors level classes available while in high school, while it has no workable benefit to them in the end game.

 

[Upgradable]

I teach in the Career Tech system in Oklahoma (health, not business), and this "third" public school system has done a terrific job offering classes and programs that truly prepare teenagers for real world living. A decade or so ago, there started to be a slip toward the bias that Vo-Tech was for those kids who weren't "smart enough" to go the college route. But Career Tech reacted by using industry advisors help with updating of programs, technology, and including college credit as a benefit of the career programs. Today, most programs use state-of-the-art technology along with the most up-to-date curriculum which benefit teenagers demonstrated by >85% positive placements (working in related field, furthering education, entering military). My program earns students 42 hours college credit (only general education classes still to complete), national certification, and 100% placement. We're even going to offer a short-term gemology course this year. Guess which instructor is going to take advantage of her tuition waiver??

 

[wonka27]

Upgradable -

I taught in two Career & Technical schools before moving into the "regular" high school. They are fantastic places and are offering more and more attractive programs for kids looking for even more high powered careers. The last one I taught at was opening courses dealing with engineering and microfabrication. Certainly a great choice for students who don't do well in the regular classroom for whatever reason and for those who want to attend four year colleges!