AHHHH!

[sparkly_stars]

I know I don''t post here often.. and when I do, it''s usually just to comment BUT I''ve been on the list with what feels like a verrrry long time.

I started at number 70 maybe? and now I''m number 16... :O! ahhhhh.
BF even knows this, as he kids about it..
I even think he HAS the ring.. but I don''t think it will be for a looong time..

He said around xmas time that he had a plan, but I''ve seen little progress? (and he isn''t that sneaky..not like me!)

HE KNOWS that I want it kept simple.
here is my ideal proposal:

wake up with the ring, or with him ring in hand(SINCE HE KNOWS I''ll say yes), then ask me.. bla bla, then have breakfast in bed (pancakes and fruit!) and daisies.. AHHH!

end rant.

*breath* haha

 

[sleeping beauty]

AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! is right sparkly,

I feel the same. i started around 80 and i''m now 41.. i thought i was approaching the top to fast. i think i joined in feb. well my bf also knows and he laughs at me telling me to stop obsessing about it that he knows when the time is right.

well IMO the time is right NOW!!!!!! guess that doesnt matter. oh well just have to keep waiting

 

[ello]

Ladies – I feel the same way! It’s very frustrating…I did not even put myself on the LIW list because I worry that it might make me feel nuttier. I know Rome was not created in one day but good golly…if I was a King I would fire my boyfriend ha ha ha!

 

[sparkly_stars]

i''m almost at the point where i want to be put at the end of the list. again. just so i can take a breath and not panic..hah

i''ve told him that once i reach the top 10, then top 5 he better watch out. the nut will be premium. haha

 

[anchor31]

I put myself on the list in October and I was #62. I''m not #20, and that''s not counting to numerous ladies that got on and off the list during that time!

I''m actually glad to be #20, though; my secret ambition is to go to the top before my summer engagement. That would mean the 19 other ladies would be engaged by then!

 

[Starset]

since 11/24/04

 

[sparkly_stars]

haha.. anchor.. i know that if i get to the top of the list(i''d be thrilled for the other ladies..!!!) i would be SUCH a pain for my dear ol'' bf.. haha.. i think i''d create him stress upon stress..
AHH! lol.
but maybe this is stress he deserves..hmmm..

STARSET!

when you first went on the list, did you and ur bf talk about getting married? (how long have you guys been together again?) wow.. i''d be a nutcase.. what does he "use" for excuses? (maybe not excuses...but why the wait) mine usually says "i want it to be perfect..bla bla bla" OKAY WELL THEN GET ME PANCAKES AND LETS GO! ahaha

 

[sparkly_stars]

ps. you know what ? apart from me moving closer to the top of the list.. i actually REALLY enjoy seeing other LIW''s getting engaged... I end up reading the post a million times because they are all called closely and I always hope it''s another lady with good news!

we should all get engaged the same day. like.. TOMORROW! ahaha. okay. no, but COME ON!!!!!!!

 

[Starset]

He''s 32.5
I''m 30.5

He wants the job, the house, the sanity, the perfection, the money, the happiness, the completely synched sex life....
It''s all BS for thinking that he has to be this certain person before he can be a husband
We''ve been dating for 4.5 years and living together for 3.5
Oh, and he''s terrified of being in the spotlight i.e. being a groom in a wedding.
And he''s not comfortable talking about it

Oh, and he''s running out of time

 

[sparkly_stars]

hmm. i would do the destination or elloping? (would he be up for that?)

the way you said what he wanted reminded me of the movie A Lot Like Love (where he talks about having all the ducks in line)

See I think once you are "knowing" and "ready" that it shouldnt take a house, or whatever else for marriage..
It takes more then that! It takes the desire to grow together, and clearly after that long.. its evident that you guys will be together!

Whats your time line?

 

[Starset]

There''s no July 29th at 10:17pm right now because I don''t know for sure I could honor it. But it is sometime this year.

 

[anchor31]

Starset, does your boyfriend know that you don''t intend to wait around forever? That might open his eyes. I''m not talking about an ultimatum, but just saying that you won''t be content with being his girlfriend forever and won''t sell yourself short. Sometimes those things need to be said...

And good luck!

 

[sparkly_stars]

Date: 4/12/2006 8:42:26 AM
Author: Starset
since 11/24/04

is this how long you''ve been together? or how long you''ve been waiting? I just noticed you''ve only recently joined the site, so I don''t think it''s how long you''ve been on the list?

regardless, I just wish we could all get what we wanted!

for me, what makes it worst is that after 2 months, we both knew we''d want to spend forever together.. and we were put through a million obsticles which made us stronger(he was in a serious car accident right before xmas this year where he almost died, and he broke his neck.. that being said.. U BETCHA i feel like i dont have "forever" to wait)

 

[caligal]

I hear ya gals! I came on last June thinking my stay would be a few months (alas it has been almost a year and I am number 11)- but didn''t know about this boy phenomenon of wanting to have the "ducks in a row."

I''ve got a deadline of Dec. 31st and I told him, "this relationship would expire on Dec. 31st-" to which he said... You won''t have anything to worry about. Eased my worries and made me feel like I won''t need to push him to propose. Thank goodness in the meantime I''ve had a job search to fill my time!

 

[FireGoddess]

Isn''t that Starset Princess? She''s been around awhile. Did you have to re-register for some reason?

 

[Starset]

Yeah - this is my third name change. Still the same person waiting in position three. I remember when I joined the site in Nov 04 we had been discussing marriage and I though we were headed that direction with an engagement any day - depending on how he wanted to do a surprise proposal. I was about at my wits end then and was so thankful I had the LIW (back when it was one big long thread before the departmentalized categories) and there were just a handful of us. Blueroses, a la pm''s, has been my sanity saver as we commisserated our situations which are somewhat similar in nature with different details. Since then it''s morphed from hope to confusion, dissapointment to resentment, and then rebuilt to acceptance and hope.

We''ve had the conversations (too many times in his opinion) and he keeps lovingly reassuring me that I have nothing to worry about and his intentions are true and yet month by month.....

I see marriage as something two people decide to do because no matter the obstacles in the past, we obviously made it through as a team with a stronger relationship. That means any obstacles ahead can be thwarted together as a team. He agrees with this but says that some obstacles should be conquered before the step of marriage takes place.

I can either accept that these are his priorities as long as he shows respect for mine or I can make him do things my way. I''m not convinced that either way is better. So here I sit in limbo wondering when enough is enough.

 

[sparkly_stars]

I thought it was you, I guess I was veeery thrown off by the registration date!

hahaha let''s take a gun and shoot their ducks down.. ahhh!

see I agree with you starset, because it is about trecking through things together! facing the hardship and the good is what makes love so worth it!
for some marriage isn''t as important as it is for others.. iguess for me, it is very important!

but GOOD LUCK! and are the "ducks" coming along at lease?

 

[Starset]

They''re all facing the same direction but they haven''t mastered the almighty row

 

[fatafelice]

Erin,I think you have us all beat (well, excluding the others in the top 5, maybe

). I''ve been wondering how things were going for you, since you haven''t been posting as much and you changed your name. I hope that he somes to his senses, and quickly, because he is really going to miss out on a great woman if he doesn''t.

I have also set a sort of tentative date in my mind, but it looks like I may not need to act on it. Who knows, though. Just because he has the diamond, doesn''t mean he is going to get it together and propose, right? He doesn''t seem very excited or eager to move on to the next step (setting, proposal, etc.), but I''m afraid that it is because I have been such a pushy control freak lately. We''ll see. I thought this week/weekend would be perfect. I''m on vacation from work and relaxed...we could just have time to be together and celebrate. But he left the stone at the Fed Ex for 3 days and isn''t exactly rushing to do anything else, so I''m not hopeful.

Sparkly_Stars, I hear ya! I don''t want a grand production. I was thinking an impromptu picnic, like we used to do in college, would be perfect and simple. But I can hardly pick out my own diamond, setting, AND proposal, can I?

Erin -- I don''t mean to pry, so feel free not to respond -- but is it still in the microwave?

 

[sparkly_stars]

hahha.. well.. in reality. i wish I COULD pick my own proposal, I KNOW what i like ,and although he does too.. i think he is too concerned about "screwing it up"

OKAY BUDDY YOU CAN''T CONTROL THE WORLD SO GIVE ME MY PANCAKES STRAWBERRIES AND DAISIES. the end.

 

[fatafelice]

Date: 4/12/2006 11:06:00 PM
Author: sparkly_stars
hahha.. well.. in reality. i wish I COULD pick my own proposal, I KNOW what i like ,and although he does too.. i think he is too concerned about ''screwing it up''

OKAY BUDDY YOU CAN''T CONTROL THE WORLD SO GIVE ME MY PANCAKES STRAWBERRIES AND DAISIES. the end.

I think that is the crux of the matter isn''t it? After we (or at least I) have been so vocal about what we want and when we want it, they get scared that it won''t be a surprise, or perfect, or whatever. I think that is where my BF''s hesitation is coming from now, and maybe yours too. They just want to get that one big moment right, especially since we have made sure that it is a big deal. Unfortunately, we don''t want them to do it because we made a big deal out of it. We want them to be eager and excited and plan the thing out of love. I don''t envy my BF...or most men for that matter. We women are tough to please.

 

[fatafelice]

Maybe this shows my complete irrationality:

I want him to plan the exact perfect proposal that I have in my mind, but I want him to come up with it completely on his own.
How is that for setting someone up for failure?

I know I should cut him some slack, but I am just tired and frustrated, I guess.

Thanks for letting me ramble...

 

[Starset]

Date: 4/12/2006 10:41:55 PM
Author: fatafelice

but is it still in the microwave?

LOL actually no. It''s sitting on the wine rack on top of the purchase receipts and an invitation to a remount show. I told him that if after all this time the surprise factor is gone - go get the diamond remounted. The event is April 26th - his day off.

I''m not saying another word about it to him. To be honest, in my mind, there is a lot riding on this decision. It will lead the next conversation to the true (whatever that could be) objection if he chooses not to do this.

 

[sparkly_stars]

hahaha fatafelice, i''m the EXACT same way( i wouldn''t be surprised the majority of the LIW''s are the same).

I feel that if I tell him what I want, he''ll hve to make major changes to it in order for it to be special AND HIS.. ugh. but I want him to read my mind or something! haha.

 

[fatafelice]

Starset: I actually think that is a great idea! I would be sad to see your setting go, because it was beautiful and unique, but maybe him taking some control and creating a surprise would make him feel more motivated. My Bf told me (1/2 jokingly) that I "take the romance out of diamonds." That''s when I decided to leave everything up to him from here on out (easier said than done) so that he felt like he had some emotional investment in the process. Maybe this is just what your BF needs! Fingers crossed that he gets himself to that remount event on the 26th!

Sparkly_Stars: I definitely wish he had the power to read my mind --though sometimes it seems he can. I''ve been trying to plant ideas in his head in a very roundabout way. LOL! For example, as soon as the weather got nice, I mentioned that we should take a picnic sometime like we used to do in college, but we haven''t been able to go yet. And the other day I got home from shopping and mentioned that I was looking for a new pinic basket (gave my old one away last time I moved) but that I didn''t have any luck. All very casual, but hopefully the seeds are there.

Don''t get me wrong, If he comes up with something that completely surprises me and is completely different, I will still be thrilled. I just don''t really want the out to a nice dinner scenario -- to predicatable at this point and too public for me. I also don''t need a big, elaborate "surprise trip" sort of plan -- though I can''t say I would mind it, I just don''t think he wold do it. I think he knows what I like and don''t and is struggling to come up with a good plan. I hope so, at least!

 

[moon river]

Sparkly Stars, I love your signature.