ALLEYCAT?

[NYCsparkle]

hey alleycat...how are you? what did you decide to do about your wedding? keep us posted...hugs.

 

[anchor31]

Thinking about you too, ally!

 

[allycat0303]

Hey NYCsparkle!

Thanks for thinking of me.Things have really calmed down a lot recently, There''s been some grumblings that my sister will be cancelling her wedding (unfortunately, I''m kept very much out of the loop so no definite confirmation). FBIL''s family has run into very unexpected financial trouble and won''t be able to pay for FBIL''s house and wedding outright....since FBIL doesn''t have a job and my sister is still in school, there''s very little they can do. My parents refuse to pay for the wedding or the house (in traditional Viet wedding it is the man that pays for the wedding) so it doesn''t look like it''s going to happen. My sister has been putting a lot of pressure on my parents to cave, but knowing them, there''s very LITTLE chance of that happening.

So I''ve been waiting for the dust to settle before making any definite decisions. To be very, very honest, I''m very much hoping that I will be able to have my wedding date back (there''s probably a 70-75% chance of that happening), but we have a contingency plan.

I''ve always wanted to go to Italy and see Sorrento and Capri, so we''re looking to rent a villa for about 6 days and try to finesse a private ceremony by the water. Currently my guy is trying to figure out all the logistics and legalities of it... if there are such things as officiants, or if we could somehow do a catholic ceremony. He''s a little overwhelmed with the language the laws, Quebec laws....but regardless of what happens we''re getting married next summer. We would then come back and have a reception at our original reception site in august or september.

If we stay in Sorrento, we''re looking at this villa

http://www.luxuryretreats.com/villa-page/ind/106864.asp

If in Capri:

http://www.luxuryretreats.com/villa-page/ind/106859.asp

We''re looking for something near the water, and we want the whole villa to ourself, but I''m having a lot of trouble knowing what is reputable, nice etc. I just know I need water and a nice view. So everything''s a bit in the air!

Anchor! Hey sweetie! School is hectic crazy and never stopping! I heard you finished this week. Congrats and enjoy the summer break!

 

[neatfreak]

Date: 5/3/2007 5:57:48 PM
Author: allycat0303
I've always wanted to go to Italy and see Sorrento and Capri, so we're looking to rent a villa for about 6 days and try to finesse a private ceremony by the water. Currently my guy is trying to figure out all the logistics and legalities of it... if there are such things as officiants, or if we could somehow do a catholic ceremony. He's a little overwhelmed with the language the laws, Quebec laws....but regardless of what happens we're getting married next summer. We would then come back and have a reception at our original reception site in august or september.

I might be able to help a bit with this. In Italy for a civil ceremony you must do it at the equivalent of the city hall. For it to be "legal" in Italy it needs to happen this way, I don't believe there is such a thing as an officiant there. Unless you live in the area, it is very very difficult to be able to do a catholic ceremony at a church, unless you have connections or something. But usually this isn't done and you MUST be catholic to do this obviously if it could be arranged at all.

Many city halls are GORGEOUS and old though, and you can usually have a few guests, so it might be worthwhile to check out what the local one near your hotel(s) look like. You will need two different documents, I forget what they are called, maybe a Nulla Osta and a Atto Notorio? Not sure on the names, but they can take awhile to file and they need to be filed a few weeks at least before you intend to marry there I think. You also need to go to the Embassy and file certain papers there...

I hope that helps, you could always do an "unofficial" ceremony by the water and just file the paperwork when you get home and do it "officially" here too.

Best of luck!

 

[anchor31]

Ally, these plans sound really good... Italy sounds absolutely divine!

When I read about your sister I couldn''t help but think "what goes around..."

Yup, I had my last exam on Friday. Moved on Sunday, started working Monday. Crazy times!

 

[NYCsparkle]

ditto what anchor said...what comes around goes around. anyways your wedding day will be beautiful--hey if italy is good enough for tom and katie, then it must be paradise...the island of capri looks divine!!!

 

[allycat0303]

Neatfreak:

Thanks for the tips! ARGH. We had heard something vague about that but he''s been doing a lot of research to see if it''s ABSOLUTELY NOT possible. I think my guy is really dead set against a city hall wedding. He feels that it would be really far off from what he feels a wedding should be. I had been hoping he would be able to find something else that would make him happy. He''s catholic, so ideally a church wedding is what he wants....but since there will be no one there, I don''t think we could do church wedding.

A wedding by the water is his second choice though, and he is really excited by that idea. So I assume you''ve investeg a ton of time figuring out what is (and what isn''t possible) I''m probably going to have to tell him that Italy by the water is a no go.

Anchor: I don''t know if it''s cosmic karma or what, but I had to negotiate really hard to have her be receptive to the idea of having a ceremony in August/September. The agreement is that I have to wait until AFTER her wedding to mention anything about my wedding, and no invitations or save the dates are to be sent until her wedding is over. So it''s going to be short notice for the people I am inviting, but I think the people that want to be there will do their best to be thre. I think the fact that I won''t be having a white dress/church wedding makes her feel less like I''m stealing her thunder. So an uneasy agreement has been reached. Honestly, though, the situation seems to be very fluid so I think there''s still chances that I might be able to have a wedding with my family around me. A part of me worries that although I''ve never been *wedding intrested* I don''t want to look back on it years later, and be sad that my family wasn''t with me. So I''m trying to make sure I''m ABSOLUTELY sure I won''t feel sad that the people I love are around me.

NYCsparkle: Hugs! And thanks for the positive thoughts.

 

[Independent Gal]

It's possible, Ally! with some planning. Some Canadian friends of my parents are getting married in Italy this very week. They will have to go to the city hall first, and then will have the 'ceremony' in a garden afterward. It apparently requires some paperwork and legwork, but it can be done!

And since the legal part is done at city hall, you don't need an 'official officiant'. You could ask a dear respected friend to do it. My dad did this in his last wedding (number 3, that is): went to city hall, then asked his friend to 'marry him' and it was lovely. (errr.. I don't mean he proposed to his friend, I mean his friend officiated. of course.)

Why not contact the Canadian Embassy in Rome and ask for help and advice? That's what you pay your taxes for!

 

[Pandora II]

Hi Ally,

If you need any help with the lingo, I speak fluent Italian and I''m happy to give you a hand!

 

[FireGoddess]

Ally it sounds like your plans are coming along and they sound wonderful!!! I am so happy to hear this.

 

[neatfreak]

Date: 5/4/2007 7:07:25 AM
Author: allycat0303
Neatfreak:


Thanks for the tips! ARGH. We had heard something vague about that but he''s been doing a lot of research to see if it''s ABSOLUTELY NOT possible. I think my guy is really dead set against a city hall wedding. He feels that it would be really far off from what he feels a wedding should be. I had been hoping he would be able to find something else that would make him happy. He''s catholic, so ideally a church wedding is what he wants....but since there will be no one there, I don''t think we could do church wedding.


A wedding by the water is his second choice though, and he is really excited by that idea. So I assume you''ve investeg a ton of time figuring out what is (and what isn''t possible) I''m probably going to have to tell him that Italy by the water is a no go.

Anchor: I don''t know if it''s cosmic karma or what, but I had to negotiate really hard to have her be receptive to the idea of having a ceremony in August/September. The agreement is that I have to wait until AFTER her wedding to mention anything about my wedding, and no invitations or save the dates are to be sent until her wedding is over. So it''s going to be short notice for the people I am inviting, but I think the people that want to be there will do their best to be thre. I think the fact that I won''t be having a white dress/church wedding makes her feel less like I''m stealing her thunder. So an uneasy agreement has been reached. Honestly, though, the situation seems to be very fluid so I think there''s still chances that I might be able to have a wedding with my family around me. A part of me worries that although I''ve never been *wedding intrested* I don''t want to look back on it years later, and be sad that my family wasn''t with me. So I''m trying to make sure I''m ABSOLUTELY sure I won''t feel sad that the people I love are around me.


NYCsparkle: Hugs! And thanks for the positive thoughts.

I lived in Italy for awhile and since my former host sister and I are both roughly the same age, we have been talking about weddings lately, and that''s what she told me. Initially we were thinking of doing it there, but it just seemed like so much hassle so we decided on San Francisco instead!

I think a city hall wedding (in the right city hall of course!) is really romantic, and a LOT different in Italy than a city hall wedding here. It can be more formal, they usually have gorgeous old historic buildings, etc. I don''t think it would be bad at all!!!

 

[appletini]

Date: 5/3/2007 5:57:48 PM
Author: allycat0303
Hey NYCsparkle!

Thanks for thinking of me.Things have really calmed down a lot recently, There''s been some grumblings that my sister will be cancelling her wedding (unfortunately, I''m kept very much out of the loop so no definite confirmation). FBIL''s family has run into very unexpected financial trouble and won''t be able to pay for FBIL''s house and wedding outright....since FBIL doesn''t have a job and my sister is still in school, there''s very little they can do. My parents refuse to pay for the wedding or the house (in traditional Viet wedding it is the man that pays for the wedding) so it doesn''t look like it''s going to happen. My sister has been putting a lot of pressure on my parents to cave, but knowing them, there''s very LITTLE chance of that happening.

Ally,

I''m a little late seeing this, but all I can think is isn''t Karma wonderful? Your big day will be special no matter what you and your FI choose to do.