Am I being stubborn?

[sumbride]

I moved 45 miles away from my office last year and have had a terrible commute for a year now. I like my job but don''t love it, and the commute makes it hard... I''d thought about looking around for something else, but I still have a year before I''m fully vested and that''s a big chunk of change in my 403(b) I''d like to keep, plus I have excellent benefits.

One of my friends (and bridesmaids) works for an association that is looking for somebody in my field. The job title is technically a step down, but since my title is a bit inflated anyway, the duties are in line with what I do. She thinks it would be perfect for me and that I would be perfect for the association. We''d have the same boss even though we wouldn''t work all that closely together. I told her "eh, thanks but no thanks..." because

1) I still have a year till vesting
2) I''m comfortable with my job and am able to coast a bit right now while busy with the wedding
3) Precious vacation time.... If I start a new job I''ll probably not have enough time saved up to take my planning trips, much less 2 weeks for the wedding/honeymoon next year
4) the commute is shorter but is driving vs. the train
5) I don''t really want to work with my friend... could be awkward
6) we have some projects coming down the pipe that would be horribly delayed were I to quit now

Am I being completely stubborn not to consider applying? Are my reasons thought out enough? I''m feeling silly like "I''m too busy being a bride to get a new job!" but in reality, I just have so much going on right now I don''t want anything else.

 

[KimberlyH]

Sum, your reasons seem to go much deeper than "being a bride." You have considered where you are in your life, the advantages of staying and moving on as well as things that are essential, such as being vested in a retirement fund. I don''t think you are being anything but smart.

Good luck to you and don''t be so hard on yourself!

 

[NewShiny]

I tend to think of this type of situation like this:

What''s the wost thing that can happen by applying for the job? You can be offered the job!

But, it isn''t until you get to the job offer stage that you''ll need to answer andy the questions that you asked in your original post. You might find out you really like the place you interviewed, the money could be much better, and several other factors that you didn''t consider may jump out at you by taking the leap and at least setting up a meeting. Or, your feelings can be confirmed that it isn''t the right place for you, at least not right now. But you''ll never have the opportunity to know if you don''t go for it.

Some "experts" (I don''t know who the "experts" are exactly though say that you should interview at least once a year even if you''re not looking for a new job just be current and keep yourself marketable.

If you do get the offer and turn it down, you might be able to get a raise at your present place and you''ll feel satisfied that you made a decision to stay somewhere that you really belong, at least right now. That way, you stay in control of your career.

I would apply. Just for curiosity''s sake. And, most great jobs come to those who aren''t even looking. Yes, you''ve got wedding stuff going, but that''s no reason to stop your professional growth.

Good luck!

 

[sumbride]

I know I don''t technically have to decide until I have the offer, but I''m wondering how it would look for my friend who encouraged me to apply if I say no after they offer it, if they offer it. She said she''s ok either way and understands but she sent me a link to the salary and benefits... the benefits are on par with what I have now and the salary is better, could be substantially better depending on what they offer within the range. It''s really only a lateral move careerwise, but I''m not thinking this is my "dream career" anyway, so if I moved laterally doing something I enjoy and made another $8-10k a year, maybe it would be worth it.

ok, ok, I''ll start working on my resume. But I''ll still have to say "I need these days off..."

 

[piccolascimmia]

I think NewShiny''s advice is very sound. Even if you don''t anticipate taking the job...who knows what could happen between now and then? Personally, I like to confirm something isn''t right for me by exploring it (removing those ''maybe I should have'' questions 6 months from now), etc.

The interview is a great way to stay marketable and be ready to jump when the time comes and you are ready.

And even though I''m encouraging you to apply, I think your reasoning and points are all very sound...I am very much in the same situation! Vesting, vacation time, etc. are all important benefits that you don''t want to take for granted!

Maybe its a great place and you''ll reapply after the wedding! Good luck!

 

[akw94]

Sum, I think you''re justified in not applying. It''s your decision! If it''s not something that interests you, then don''t apply...for whatever your reasons are. I don''t think your reasons have to sound reasonable to anyone but you, even though I do think they are all reasonable. I don''t think you''re obligated to apply for any reason. I also kind of think why bother to apply if you really aren''t interested. You''ll have to interview and go through the whole process. They will consider you a potential candidate. If you really don''t want to work there, why bother.
That''s just my opinion though. I do think the other opinions are valid. I would lean more toward applying if you had the slightest bit of interest, but it just doesn''t sound like you do.

 

[sumbride]

I''ve been thinking about it all morning. I worked on my resume a bit last night, and was really set to apply before my FI said "but you''ll hate that commute". He knows how much my commute bothers me now, but the new one might be worse since it is inside DC''s beltway and I''d be coming from Baltimore. I''m also kind of hung up on the title thing. I''m a DBA now... if I go down a grade in title, even if I make more money, it does kind of mess up my progression, but in a field I don''t really want to stay in more than another few years. I''m feeling really conflicted.