Am I on the right track?

[mamie]

Short backstory: BF and I together 4.5 years; live together; ring shopping in September; conversation on NYE that a proposal should happen around his 30th birthday in late May.

Last night we had a discussion that started with BF asking if I could be put on his health insurance (as I''m currently uninsured). I told him we''d have to be married for that to happen and he said "What are we waiting for?" I told him matter-of-factly "a ring and a proposal are needed first."

He said "Well, how will I be able to afford a ring right now?" I let him know my diamond tastes are not that extravagant, and I''d pick out something that I love and that is affordable. He told me then to give him the information on the rings I like. (!)

But THEN.....immediately after the ring conversation, he asked which day our winery trip is scheduled for. (We''ll be going on our second annual winery tour at Seneca Lake, NY in late March with our mutual friends including my best friend and her husband.)

Am I correct in thinking there is a correlation between a sparkly diamond and our winery weekend?? It IS two months ahead of our "timeline," but the more I think about it, the more perfect it sounds!



Opinions?

 

[sunnyd]

Sounds promising for sure!! Congrats, that''s great!!

 

[~*Alexis*~]

OOOOOooooooHHHHhhhh!!!!

Sounds promising!!!

 

[mamie]

Thanks for both your replies. I am feeling ridiculously happy at the prospect, but am trying not to let myself get my hopes too high in case it doesn''t happen. I have always had a tendency to anticipate something only to be let down.

I think I''m going to take my best friend ring shopping with me to spare the BF from going again. (He has no idea about anything jewelry and his eyes tend to glaze over!) I will do my part to help him. : )

 

[mjso]

Sounds like it could be promising, but I wouldn''t count on it (it sucks to be disappointed about these things). My FI has a tendency to jut questions about random unrelated things into conversations such as: "FI, what should we have for dinner?" him: "I don''t know", me: "Well I was thinking maybe we could go to the italian place I like or maybe mexican, which sounds better to you?", him: "Did you see that article about nano-technology?". I''ve gotten used to it over the years and now I just answer his question and attempt to bring things back in line with the original conversation.
So if it were my FI, I''d think, oh he just remembered the trip randomly, but if it is out of character for your SO to randomly bring things up, then I''d say a winery tour sounds like a great place!

 

[vslover]

I think it sounds promising! What kinds of rings are you looking at??

 

[EricaR]

It is very exciting...

...but, what is stopping you from just getting married now, especially if Health Insurance is involved? Has he asked his company about domestic partner benefits? My bf has been on my insurance for two years now. We had to fill out paperwork and prove three things on a list of 10 or 12. I think we had to show that both of us are on the same lease, that we share a bank account, and that we have the same address on our driver''s licenses. It took 5 minutes to fill out the paperwork and we were set.

 

[vslover]

I think, btw, if I was without health insurance and money was an issue...I''d forgo the ring and go to a JP and just get married. Being without health insurance is not a good thing!

 

[rubybeth]

I''m happy that you probably will be engaged sooner, but I''m afraid for you that you don''t have health coverage! I have a friend who is actually already married for this reason, but just refers to her husband as her fiancé because they''ve been planning a wedding for a year. But, she needed the coverage while she''s in grad school, so they are married for that reason. I think if you find out about what his company''s policies are about this, the sooner the better. Otherwise, I used ehealthinsurance.com to find coverage after I quit my previous (crappy) job. I would suggest at least emergency coverage, as an accident, even due to no fault of your own, could leave you in serious debt.

Sorry for the digression!! It does sound as though he is planning something for a winery trip, so fairy dust to you!! ***

***

 

[mamie]

The health insurance thing: Yes I agree; it is very important to have. I used to work for a major health insurance company so I definitely value it. I was planning on picking up the moderately high premium policy available to me through my job, so me going on his insurance isn''t terribly crucial at this point...it''s just what happened to jumpstart the conversation.

EricaR, I can look into the domestic partner thing and see if his company is open to that, but I did review his insurance information upon his enrollment and the dependents options were only "wife/husband" and "children," but it is worth a further investigation. Thanks!


mjso.... I''ve been trying to figure out just how "random" and distract-able the BF is. all day. I''ll be paying extra close attention to future random conversations like the one you just mentioned. I just thought of something - a few times we''ll be on one topic and he will ask me something completely unrelated. When I question him about the topic change, i.e. "Where did THAT come from?" he will then tell me the link between the two in his mind. Maybe I''m on to something!

 

[mamie]

vslover wrote:
I think it sounds promising! What kinds of rings are you looking at??>

Originally I thought I wanted a simple pronged round solitaire, but after trying them on, and then trying on rings at a local jeweler, I fell in love with three-stones or a bezel-set solitaire with custom-designed swirls on the sides that accent the ring. Our local jewelery is something I''ve never seen anywhere else and is very unique. I''ll try to find a picture of something similar or maybe I''ll take some pics when I go ring shopping again.

 

[idreamofice]

Sounds like this could be it! Awesome!!

 

[bee*]

It definitely sounds like his is up to something with his planning! That''s so exciting! Congrats!!

 

[mjso]

Date: 1/23/2008 4:34:58 PM
Author: mamie

mjso.... I''ve been trying to figure out just how ''random'' and distract-able the BF is. all day. I''ll be paying extra close attention to future random conversations like the one you just mentioned. I just thought of something - a few times we''ll be on one topic and he will ask me something completely unrelated. When I question him about the topic change, i.e. ''Where did THAT come from?'' he will then tell me the link between the two in his mind. Maybe I''m on to something!

Hehe, I didn''t mean for you to think about it all day!! Sounds like you might really be onto something, he made the link in his head...ring - winery trip...but probably didn''t realize you''d make the connection too.

 

[EricaR]

Just so you know, the official paperwork from my company only says "Spouse" and "Children" too, but our HR department has different paperwork. Once we filled it out I was able to see him as a "Spouse" on our benefits computer system.

 

[CaliBling]

I think that there is DEFINTELY a correlation there!!! How exciting!! Woo-Hoo!!