An experiment

[sunnyd]

I decided to experiment this weekend at SO''s expense...sorta.

As we were falling asleep on Friday, I asked him what he envisioned for our wedding. Turned out he had the same sort of thing pictured as I did. I even told him a place near by that I''d seen pics of that I liked, and he''d thought of it too and had been there! This convo actually continued for 3 nights before we fell asleep, talk about wedding stuff. It was awesome!

I''ve done a lot of thinking/research of what I want without actually being formal about it. Anyone else? For those who have discussed wedding stuff with the BF, did it match what you thought? Curious...

 

[Italiahaircolor]

When my husband and I were in the very beginning stages of planning our wedding, even before we were offically engaged, we would talk about what we wanted, how we imagined it, and things of that nature...

We were very much on the same page...we both wanted to go with a traditional Italian wedding, although we didnt want a church wedding, we liked this location, so on and so forth...

It was lovely to be so connected to someone and share the same vision for our wedding day...it made planning even more special, because we were excited about everything in equal messure!! I often joked with my friends that it was like our thoughts were playing tag!!

I''m very happy that you and your FF are on the same page...it will make the time your spend planning even more sentimental and sweet.

 

[star sparkle]

When the BF and I first started talking about wedding stuff, I was surprised to hear that he was under the impression that I was going to want some big, huge, grandiose affair with tons of people and whatnot. However, what I really want is something elegant and intimate (maybe 20 people max).

I just thought that was kind of funny.

We're now on the same page, it seems.

 

[gwendolyn]

J and I talk openly about marriage and have been for at least 2 of our 3+ years together. We''re kind of in a different situation than most, though, since we''re an international long-distance couple--you don''t really go through all the heartache and long periods between visits if you aren''t both thinking seriously about the future. So, we talk, and you know what? Our view (originally) were almost exact opposites: he wanted a big ol'' wedding, and I wanted to elope; I put a huge amount of importance on an engagement ring, and he didn''t see why we should spend any money at all on one. But, the more we talk things through, the more we understand each other''s priorities and find ways to meet in the middle.

PS: He was just here for the weekend (we''re now in the same country but 200 miles apart still) and it was FABULOUS!! Saying goodbye never gets any easier, but it was a wonderful trip while it lasted.

 

[bee*]

D and I used to talk about our wedding a lot before we got engaged and we''re totally on the same page with our ideas, which is handy as there aren''t any arguments about it.

 

[sunnyd]

Awww sweet italia. I hope our actual planning is like that too. Except that he's soooo much more traditional than I am, so we'll have to see what happens.

Gwendolyn, I wouldn't even be able to bear it!! You are one tough cookie lady.

 

[CrookedRock]

Aww.... That''s great that your visions for such an important day match! We too have discussed it many times, and we are in the same boat as well. Neither of us wants a wedding, so we have chosen to elope alone in Italy, although there is some talk of including parents only. Then we''ll come back and throw a huge party!! That way our friends can celebrate with us and I can still enjoy registering! LOL

I have to wonder though, if we did want a wedding would we want the same things? Probably not... I like to do things a lil different. I always said I would wear black and have the bridesmaids in silver or white... lol! He is more traditional than I am... Good thing we''re not going that route!

 

[FrekeChild]

He took me to dinner and a movie on Saturday night (even brought me an edible arrangement thing full of chocolate covered strawberries) and during dinner he brought up his coworker/fellow grad student's wedding reception that we're going to on Friday. He asked what I thought we should buy as a present, and then started talking about who would be there. Well that turned into, "The people I want to be at our wedding are..." And totally of his own accord. Then he proceeded to tell me about how we could have them sit at different tables from family, and who should sit at what tables, etc. Meanwhile, I'm just sitting there shell-shocked.

As for how we see our wedding:
Him-
us at a courthouse, awesome honeymoon, him in flip flops.

Me-
ideally-my two best friends, his two best friends, and immediate family, him in flip flops, in a small ceremony in my parents backyard with my dog there, and a nice dinner at a nice restaurant immediately following.
realistically-in a hotel by the house I grew up in, with fewer than 50 people, him in flip flops, and me in a colored gown.

But...The realistic is because I've grown up around all my cousins getting married and having big blow out parties, and I know some kind of celebration is what my family expects. And he knows that the people in his department expect that too. So in a way we're both compromising with my version, because undoubtedly my family would want a huge blowout.

No matter how it happens, he will be wearing flip flops and he will still call me "tax break".

 

[sunnyd]

Date: 2/25/2008 6:06:45 PM
Author: FrekeChild
He took me to dinner and a movie on Saturday night (even brought me an edible arrangement thing) and during dinner he brought up his coworker/fellow grad student''s wedding reception that we''re going to on Friday. He asked what I thought we should buy as a present, and then started talking about who would be there. Well that turned into, ''The people I want to be at our wedding are...'' And totally of his own accord. Then he proceeded to tell me about how we could have them sit at tables and who should sit at what tables, etc. Meanwhile, I''m just sitting there shell-shocked.

As for how we see our wedding:
Him-
us at a courthouse, awesome honeymoon, him in flip flops.

Me-
ideally-my two best friends, his two best friends, and immediate family, him in flip flops, in a small ceremony in my parents backyard with my dog there, and a nice dinner at a nice restaurant immediately following.
realistically-in a hotel by the house I grew up in, with fewer than 50 people, him in flip flops, and me in a colored gown.

But...The realistic is because I''ve grown up around all my cousins getting married and having big blow out parties, and I know some kind of celebration is what my family expects. And he knows that the people in his department expect that too. So in a way we''re both compromising with my version, because undoubtedly my family would want a huge blowout.

No matter how it happens, he will be wearing flip flops and he will still call me ''tax break''.

Okay, I read that and saw edible engagement ring. How ridonkulous am I?!?!

Hehe, at least the flip flops are present in all scenarios. I''m thinking family will influence some stuff too. His stuff, anyway. The only wedding he''s really been to is his sisters, so I think he thinks that all weddings are like that...silly man.

 

[FrekeChild]

Date: 2/25/2008 6:12:09 PM
Author: sunnyd

Date: 2/25/2008 6:06:45 PM

Author: FrekeChild

He took me to dinner and a movie on Saturday night (even brought me an edible arrangement thing) and during dinner hebrought up his coworker/fellow grad student''s wedding reception that we''re going to on Friday. He asked what I thought we should buy as a present, and then started talking about who would be there. Well that turned into, ''The people I want to be at our wedding are...'' And totally of his own accord. Then he proceeded to tell me about how we could have them sit at tables and who should sit at what tables, etc. Meanwhile, I''m just sitting there shell-shocked.

As for how we see our wedding:

Him-

us at a courthouse, awesome honeymoon, him in flip flops.


Me-

ideally-my two best friends, his two best friends, and immediate family, him in flip flops, in a small ceremony in my parents backyard with my dog there, and a nice dinner at a nice restaurant immediately following.

realistically-in a hotel by the house I grew up in, with fewer than 50 people, him in flip flops, and me in a colored gown.


But...The realistic is because I''ve grown up around all my cousins getting married and having big blow out parties, and I know some kind of celebration is what my family expects. And he knows that the people in his department expect that too. So in a way we''re both compromising with my version, because undoubtedly my family would want a huge blowout.


No matter how it happens, he will be wearing flip flops and he will still call me ''tax break''.

Okay, I read that and saw edible engagement ring. How ridonkulous am I?!?!

Hehe, at least the flip flops are present in all scenarios. I''m thinking family will influence some stuff too. His stuff, anyway. The only wedding he''s really been to is his sisters, so I think he thinks that all weddings are like that...silly man.

Hahahahaha!!!That''s awesome!!!I actually mentioned the flip flop thing to him and he said that he wanted to wear real shoes.

I just want to state for the record that the ONLY time he doesn''t insist on wearing flip flops is when there is snow or ice outside. And we''re in New Mexico where it snows once a year and the whole city shuts down.

So he wears flip flops a lot. And I told him too bad, that he wasn''t allowed to wear flip flops. Is that weird and controlling? For me to try to talk him into his favorite footwear?

He drives me nuts sometimes.

 

[Smurfysmiles]

we don''t have the exact same thoughts but more like a general idea. we both love animals and theres a really cool zoo nearby that has reception halls built into the aquariums somehow. theres a room with sharks swimming around(which doesnt particularly spell romance lol) one with fish and one with dolphins! i would love to be dancing with dolphins swimming around

 

[choro72]

Date: 2/25/2008 6:12:09 PM
Author: sunnyd

Hahahahaha!!!That''s awesome!!!I actually mentioned the flip flop thing to him and he said that he wanted to wear real shoes.

I just want to state for the record that the ONLY time he doesn''t insist on wearing flip flops is when there is snow or ice outside. And we''re in New Mexico where it snows once a year and the whole city shuts down.

So he wears flip flops a lot. And I told him too bad, that he wasn''t allowed to wear flip flops. Is that weird and controlling? For me to try to talk him into his favorite footwear?

He drives me nuts sometimes.

Haha, my BF said that he envisioned me in an Elven dress, and he will show up in one of his favorite Anime characters. So...If he wears flip flops I will be relieved

I asked him again a month ago, and he assured me that he isn''t serious. Thank goodness!

Sunnyd, where in NM are you? Last April I was in Fort Sumner for research. The daily thunder storm was magnificent! My research group couldn''t wait to get back to civilization and Starbucks, but I loved it! The space, the people, grass, the horses, the goats...I''ve never thought people could actually be so nice!

 

[ktdid]

well, it''ll be my second wedding but BF''s first. I want to do whatever he wants- big or small. He really just wants to go to the JP and then take a trip, or totally elope. I kind of want to do a little ceremony so his parents can have that (he''s the baby and I know they look forward to him getting married someday). Either way we''re on the same page

 

[FrekeChild]

Date: 2/25/2008 8:13:16 PM
Author: choro72

Date: 2/25/2008 6:12:09 PM

Author: sunnyd

Hahahahaha!!!That''s awesome!!!I actually mentioned the flip flop thing to him and he said that he wanted to wear real shoes.

I just want to state for the record that the ONLY time he doesn''t insist on wearing flip flops is when there is snow or ice outside. And we''re in New Mexico where it snows once a year and the whole city shuts down.

So he wears flip flops a lot. And I told him too bad, that he wasn''t allowed to wear flip flops. Is that weird and controlling? For me to try to talk him into his favorite footwear?

He drives me nuts sometimes.

Haha, my BF said that he envisioned me in an Elven dress, and he will show up in one of his favorite Anime characters. So...If he wears flip flops I will be relieved

I asked him again a month ago, and he assured me that he isn''t serious. Thank goodness!

Sunnyd, where in NM are you? Last April I was in Fort Sumner for research. The daily thunder storm was magnificent! My research group couldn''t wait to get back to civilization and Starbucks, but I loved it! The space, the people, grass, the horses, the goats...I''ve never thought people could actually be so nice!

Oh that was me that''s in NM! I''m in Albuquerque and I don''t think I''ve ever been to Fort Sumner except to drive through. Although I''ve been to several ghost towns. In Albuquerque people are a lot less friendly.

We do have magnificent lightning and thunder storms don''t we? They can be spectacular but scary at the same time. Too many fires have been caused by that lightning


I just had a vision of BF''s best friend wearing an Anime outfit.

He''s obsessed with Anime. Thats the only art he knows.

 

[KCCutie]

What a good experiment! So much fun to read and now to share:

My SO and I are totally on the same page. His sister is getting married in October 2008 and we see all the money and craziness going into her hometown wedding for about 150 guests and we''ve decided if we''re going to spend that kind of money we''re going to really enjoy it. So we''re opting for a destination wedding on a beach somewhere with our immediate families (his parents, sister, bil and nephew and one friend my parents and 3 siblings plus my bff, maybe grandparents as he has 2 and I have 3 one of which would be officiating). Our dream would be to go to Cayman but I think funds will be a big factor on how tropical we get. Then we''ll have some sort of party when we get back to celebrate with the extended family.

It''s so cute when he -all on his own- brings up our wedding on the beach I can hardly contain myself.

When I was little all I wanted was wedding just like his sister is planning but as I get older all I really want is something beautiful I can share with the people who are closest to me and I am so relieved E feels the same way.

 

[absolut_blonde]

SO and I are pretty much on the same page. Though, he's more set on having a big wedding than I am. I was never much into the idea of a big wedding til recently-- my cousin had a big wedding and it was a blast! So I've come around to the idea now, providing that a) finances allow for it, comfortably and b) we can afford to hire a wedding planner/coordinator. The latter shouldn't be too much of a problem since his cousin is getting into wedding planning. I just don't think I could personally handle the stress of coordinating a huge party down to the last detail all on my own (and knowing SO's schedule with work, he wouldn't be of much help).

We were thinking of a ceremony outside, but I suppose that will depend on the date that we choose someday. And he wants 5 groomsmen... so we'll probably have more groomsmen than bridesmaids. He's got several 'best' male friends (whose wedding parties he's been in, to boot, so he feels even more obligated) as well as a brother he is close to. Since that's important to him, I'm fine with that.

And he doesn't like cake (weird, I know!) so that's all up to me. As will be the food, I'm assuming. Left to his devices, we'd probably be eating KFC and peanut butter cups, LOL. Most of the other details will be in my court, as long as I don't make everything pink (I don't want an all-pink wedding anyway, but I like to teasingly threaten him with that)