Annoyed

[Caribou]

So I''m telling FI about the colors I was thinking (pink/green), his response ''I''m not having a pink wedding''

Whatever

So I say ''well then if you can think of any Spring colors, I''m open to hearing them''

What annoys me about this is he tells me I''m planning this whole thing..which is totally fine...if he would let me. He tells me you make the decision because if you ask me you''ll get a ''i don''t care, whatever you want''. He has since giving me what he will refer to as ''helpful suggestions'' which are:

Reception places I should call
Idea of Photographer I should call
Tells me he''s picking his tux and going without me.

When I talk to him about some ideas his eyes glaze over or he gives me this look that tells me he''s not interested. But then other times he telling me he doesn''t like it but then doesn''t back it up with his ideas. He needs to make up his mind!!!! Does he want to be involved or doesn''t he. It can''t be one way or the other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Needed to vent. Feel so much better now.

 

[sunkist]

Wow, for someone who says he doesn''t want to be involved, he sure is involved!

I''m sorry it''s making you so frustrated; it would me too!!! But he obviously does want to be involved, even if he thinks he doesn''t. So just tell him, he''s involved and then maybe ask him if wants to give his input at the beginning stages of whatever it is, or give his input on the final decision. Then he doesn''t have to hear all the fun details in the middle that boys love so much

!! It might work

 

[E B]

I hear you! My fiance hasn't said much about what he wants either, but he sure is quick to veto!

Have you suggested light blue and a pale orange (or even a bold orange)? They look great together, and they're amazingly spring-y.

 

[pebbles]

Your fiance sounds exactly like my husband did. At first I wanted the colors to be navy blue BM dresses with tropical flowers. When he found out how much tropical flowers were, he hit the roof. Then he said navy BM dresses and black tuxes will look stupid. The list is endless.

 

[lmurden]

Men will be men!

 

[curlygirl]

Welcome to the world of wedding planning! We may be marrying different men, but they are all the same!!!! My FI just left for France for buiness for 5 days and our wedding is only 2 weeks away. I''m so glad to be free to obsess as much as I want while he''s gone! They just don''t get it...

 

[MINE!!]

And I would say, "Really? Well I am."

"Where are you holding your reception?"
"Where are you getting YOUR flowers?"
"What photographer are YOU using?"
" Who are your Bridesmaids?"

"Or have you just forgotten that this is not just YOUR wedding?"

 

[glaucomflecken]

LOL! I agree, welcome to the world of wedding planning and fiances! Men are all the same!

 

[LAJennifer]

When I told my fiance that I was stressing about the planning, he said there couldn''t be that much to stress over and offered to take over the reigns and plan the whole thing. I''m seriously thinking of taking him up on it.

 

[flopkins]

yeah my FI did the same. says he's not into it, but when I do hours of research and make a few suggestions to him he always vetos... ok maybe not always but for someone who didn't really say what they wanted/didn't want at the *beginning* which woulda made my work a lot *easier* he sure is opinionated!!!

thankfully he's taken some initiative on the honeymoon stuff and various other things... so I feel better about that.

ETA: FI was dead set against a pink wedding, but we compromised and I told him he and his GM didn't have to wear pink at all... so he relented.

 

[Tybee]

Isn''t it ironic how stressful wedding planning can be on a relationship?

 

[Tacori E-ring]

hahaha. Are we engaged to the same man?!? I understand completely. Whenever he hears me talking on the phone about wedding stuff he always pips in about how he doesn''t was this or that. I am just basically ignoring him

If he is going to talk the talk but not walk the walk he can just adjust to everything I pick (and work/plan).

 

[Rebemdee]

I wanted red, but my fiance said, "No way!" I then told him fine, you pick the colors. He didn''t, so I decided not to go with red, since he really doesn''t like it, and chose pink and green (spring wedding). He then said, "PINK AND GREEN! I''m not wearing PINK! I HATE PINK!" To that I said, "I asked for your input and you said no red. That''s what you got." We did sit down and have a heart to heart about what''s important to him, and it came down to four things. Booze. Music. Tuxes. Food. So, he''s picking the booze and in charge of buying it. He''s in charge of planning the music. He''s in charge of picking the tuxes, and he doesn''t have to wear anything pink if he doesn''t want to. And we are BOTH picking the menu. Knowing what he doesn''t care about helped tremendously, because now I do the rest of the stuff myself, and if it comes down to choices he may possibly whine about later, I narrow it to TWO things and ask for input. He appreciates not being bugged about stuff he thinks is trivial, and I appreciate his willingness to do the things he said he would do. He did say, "I don''t like the font you used on the save the date cards," and I said, "Oh really, would you like to make them next time? Buy the materials? Spend the hours putting them together? Because we are hand making our invitations, and those tasks will be available!" I haven''t heard a peep since.

 

[Caribou]

Well we talked. He said he thought I'd know that he would not want a pink wedding....I knew he didn't like pink but he also claims to not like yellow yet brings me yellow flowers home all the time.

So I said 'you could see where I'd be confused!' He said the reason why he brings me yellow flowers is because they have sunflowers in them. Anywho, It's fine....we won't have pink. We'll go with periwinkle or the original cinnamon color.

I don't really know why I keep switching colors. If I were decorating my house I'd use warm colors, not cool, so I will probably stick to that. I just wonder what color flowers would look good with cinnamon? Anyone got any ideas?

ETA: I told him that we have 1 year to really have everything finalized so I'll probably change my mind 4 or 5 times by then. He said he was going to write things down have it in stone at that point.

ETA2: Has anyone had sunflowers as the flower? How did they hold up?

 

[Logan Sapphire]

My husband sort of said the same thing when I told him what colors I was thinking about for the bouquets and bridesmaids'' dresses. I wanted them to wear whatever spaghetti strap, knee-length, church-appropriate black dress and pretty pale yellow and ivory flowers. Well, he thought black was funereal and they would look like bumblebees, despite the fact that the groomsmen were wearing black too! I just politely reminded him that these two aras were MY choice, and that when it came time to what he and the GM were wearing, it was all his choice. Then I stuck to that, and didn''t even suggest what he might wear.

I really don''t think a lot of men have any concept of what all goes into planning a wedding, and I totally agree that it causes a lot of stress on relationships, including those with parents.

 

[monarch64]

Honey, you just smile and nod and go ahead and do what you want anyway. That''s straight from my MIL and boy was she right!

 

[AmberWaves]

This is so funny, because on Friday I was talking to my boyfriend and we were talking about this color green I want for the wedding, and he said he''s not wearing green! I brought up this thread and told him that if he really doesn''t want to wear it, give me a reason. He didn''t have one, SO he then said, "honey, when the ring is finally on your finger- my job is done, the wedding is yours to plan. Whatever you want, you get. I will have NO say in it." Ha HA. Green it is then. Suck-er.