Another new LIW story

[sk8rjen]

Hi ladies (and guys, too). I posted on the official list the other day, but hadn''t made it back to tell you my warped story My BF and have been together a year and 3 months, not forever, but definitely long enough to know we are going to be together for good. We moved in together last August after we''d taken a July cruise (both of our first time on a cruise) where I honestly thought he *was* going to porpose (it was my birthday, too). We had already discussed things before then and our being together was a given, despite how long we''d been together at that point. Well, I didn''t let it ruin our fabulous trip at least!

Things were a little shaky after we moved in together -- getting used to living with someone isn''t always easy, especially when you''ve done it before and have pre-conceived ideas about how things are *supposed* to work (ha ha). (I am divorced, 32, mother of 3 little boys --and the BF is absolutely WONDERFUL with them and amazingly enough with me too So logically I know in my head a guy who is younger and new to all of this (he''s 25) doesn''t need to rush into marriage and kids. BUT.....we both know it''s gonna happen, so the heart says "why not now?"

I can really differentiate between the head and the heart, I promise, but it''s hard when I let my heart rule me. I am emotional and I do tell him too much of what is on my mind --- how glad I am to have found a group to help me be patient It seems like a funny thing to need support about, and yet I agree with whomever said that the waiting will be appreciated later. I have only been having a tough time since it didn''t happen over the holidays and then I picked a fight on Valentine''s Day and really really thought I may have messed "it" up, but just found out this week he doesn''t even have the setting or the stone in layaway, let alone purchased (we looked for e-rings last year just before and just after we moved in). (big sigh)

Sorry this is so long. BTW, my BF''s really just the greatest guy in every other way (I guess I wouldn''t want to marry him if he wasn''t, right?), he just has a TON more patience than I do

Thanks already!!
jen

 

[gracie007]

siggggh. I feel your pain i thought the ring would be on my finger anyday, only to find out yesterday he hasnt even talked to the jeweler about making the band

They do go at their own rates don''t they??? It sounds like he is a wonderful person though Let''s both try hard not to pick fights in our impatience

 

[sk8rjen]

Someone mentioned in a different thread that sometimes we "find out" something that''s not necessarily true (i.e. how far along in the process they are)so they can fool us -- should we wish for that, or do we wish for their honesty? I think I''d feel better knowing he had maybe purchased *something* --- except, now that I am learning more here about diamonds, I want to give input on the stone (the band I''ve already found at a jeweler I love so far --- micro-pave set diamonds-- nice and thin)

Oh, and something I failed to mention earlier -- the argument on Valentine''s Day started b/c I was sad the day before that he hadn''t proposed yet and I KNEW he wouldn''t on V-Day, so I thought the day would be ruined. Well, on VDay, I geared my whole day toward being ready and looking my best to go out in a happy, positive mood and he came home and said "what are you getting ready for? I thought you didn''t want to go out?" Ugh. So I got mad and then he told me later how I "would''ve felt a lot better about our relationship by the end of the evening" etc ...more like that. Plus, he took me to the place we had our first date. And he wonders now where I got the idea he might have been proposing that night??

Thanks, gracie, for your support--hope you get yours soon!!!!

jen

 

[chickflick]

Hello and welcome!! He sounds like a great guy and he''s lucky to have you. I know what you mean about you heart ruling over your head. I get into these snits every once in a while and I KNOW at the time that I''m being stupid and illogical, and will regret the way I''m acting toward my guy, yet I have no control over my behavior because my feelings have taken over.

Good luck; hope all comes through for you very soon!!

 

[ilovesparkles]

I am completely and totally ruled by my heart! I will sit and internally tell myself dont do it dont do it dont do it. THe next thing I know I have gone and done it (I''m a bit impulsive

) It sucks, and as far as waiting, oh I am so impatient and not even to the point where most of you are yet. Well good luck! I know how hard it is to think rationally!

 

[sk8rjen]

Thanks chickflick and sparkles! I laughed reading both of your responses because we could all be the same person (I especially get the "don''t do it" mantra and then do it anyway. ugh!)

BF and I talked about going and looking at loose diamonds today -- he works a closing shift on wednesdays which frees up our day time -- but I didn''t feel very good this morning and by the time I brought it up later, it was too late. (sigh) I want to get a pear shape, and from what I understand, seeing them in person is better than online shopping. I can''t believe I have to wait another week. At least he''s game with letting me help him pick the stone out


jen

 

[amyg]

Hi Sk8r!!! Just wanted to say that I feel your pain as well!! I think we''ve all been there...thinking this could be it, only to find out they don''t even have the ring yet!!! I drove myself nuts over the Christmas holdays thinking he was going to propose any minute... I read into every little thing that happened, even the way he''s family acted toward me...I totally convinced myself he was going to do it, and they already knew about it...very dissappointing when it didn''t happen and later found out he wasn''t even close to buying the ring (money wise)... I try not to do that anymore...i can''t take the dissappointment of it...and then I get mad at him, and it''s not his fault I''m CRAZY!!! LOL...got to learn some patience...

 

[snuga]

Date: 3/9/2006 9:13:54 AM
Author: amyg
Just wanted to say that I feel your pain as well!! I think we''ve all been there...thinking this could be it, only to find out they don''t even have the ring yet!!!

Hi and Welcome to PS!! I agree with amyg, you came to the right place in terms of finding people who are going through the same thing!! It sounds like you and your boyfriend have a great relationship, and it is really important that he is good to your kids, which it sounds like he is. Keep us posted!