Another proposal delay...

[caligal]

Kay- so orginally I thought we would be engaged by this spring since he would be done with school- then I was told summer since school was going to take longer than I thought- now this morning I am told September he''ll be done! Honestly, if I was the traditional college aged woman, I''d have no issue with this- but we are 29! I finished both my degrees at 23- and this relationship has been quicker moving than any other (we moved in together after dating for 6 months). He wants to wait until he''s done with school because he''ll have more money and it is an accomplishment thing for him. But, in the back of my head I just still wonder if he doesn''t know yet, even though we''ve talked about this several times. I''m so dissapointed!

What''s a girl to do? I might have a job offer next week- which would mean we need to move. Part of me wonders if and when I get the job should I just find a place by myself? He doesn''t really want to job search now with school and all- and I don''t blame him. He has his folks he could stay with here- and maybe the time apart would be good? I don''t want to push him proposing before he''s done with school, cause he''s made it really clear he doesn''t want to do it earlier- but I''ve been ready for this since last spring. I''m afraid he''lll think I''m trying to break up with him, and that''s not it- but part of me feels like it isn''t fair to me to wait! I told him he could propose with a cubic zirconia for all I care- why is his male pride of feeling he needs to provide for me with a degree coming in the way! Help!?

 

[AmberWaves]

Tracy.

My god, that is horrible news. I am so sorry. It sounds like you''re thinking hard about moving into your own place, should you need to move. And the fact that you''re thinking about it makes me think that you might NEED the space- not just for him, but for yourself. I mean, it''s not fair that he keeps pushing the date back. what is taking so long? Why does his schedule keep changing? Tracy, I think that if YOU believe you need to show him what he''s got, or what he could lose, you should do it. Talk to him about it, and tell him the honest truth. Tell him you''re ocnsidering moving into your own place if the new job is yours. Tell hiim WHY you want to move into your own place. Find out why he needs to keep this drawn out proposal business after he finishes school. I know how you feel, when it happened to me, I was like, what now? Because after the time it was supposed to be, something came up. And then something else came up. And it made me tell him- it''s always going to be something. Something will always come up. It may never be the exact perfect time to get engaged, why not just do it because you want to, and not just because it''s finally TIME to. You know what I mean? I''m here if you need to talk- well, I''ll be at disneyland on Tuesday, but if you need anything at all... Don''t hesitate.

I''m sorry.

 

[GGLW]

Caligal, I agree with Amber...just talk to your BF and see what he thinks about the possibility of you getting your own place. I think you need to do what is best for you right now. A lot of times, men (boys!) will realize what they are missing once they are forced to have some space. My BF does this all the time. As soon as I go away even for the weekend all of a sudden he is extra lovey-dovey. And who knows, maybe he is just telling you there will be a delay when he is really trying to surprise you before then??? Anyway, sorry to hear abou the bummer news. Hope you two can have a good talk abou this...

 

[caligal]

I''m not good at these convos, but this one needs to happen again. I just wish it was after Christmas as we are supposed to be leaving for Vegas tomorrow morning! He called me at work to see if the chicken I had talked about was already baking- I said yep. Apparently his brother invited himself over for dinner! I put a nix on that saying we needed to chat- so he knows it''s coming. It''s hard because he''s starting to pin me into the "desperate to get a ring" girl crowd, which really I''d walk before I begged ANY man to propose to me. You''d think he would want to after the time we''ve spent together. Wish me luck gals- I''ll report back soon about how it goes...

 

[larussel03]

let us know what you guys decide when you do talk...I think in your position I would probably get my own place upon taking the job and he could move in once school was done, but that would be hard.

Good luck, I"m sure you can work it out!

 

[sunkist]

Hi Caligal - I''m sort of in your same shoes, because my boyfriend doesn''t want to get engaged until he''s done with school either. And, yes, his finishing date keeps getting pushed back! He was supposed to be done this winter, then next June, now it''s the end of summer. (I hate how schools don''t offer enough classes!

) Anyways, he''s also promised his father that he won''t get married before he graduates. Although I have reminded him that getting engaged is WAY different from getting married

heehee! But still I''m not expecting engagement untill the summer... So just know that I''m here with you waiting for school to be out!

About your job offer, if you get it, I''d definitely have a talk with your BF and then move to your own place! It''s not that you don''t love him, it''s just that you are living your life and you''re tired of waiting around. Personally I think that would get him moving

. So good luck and Merry Christmas!

 

[snuga]

Hey Cali, just wanted to wish you good luck and send some good vibes your way. I''m sure it will all work out just fine! Let us know how it goes!