Another question about a bridal party

[julie878]

Not be funny, but me and my fiance do not have that many friends, but we both have big families. He has 2 brothers and 2 sisters and was not in any of their weddings so he feels that they should not be in his. I have 2 brothers and a sister-in-law that I think ''expect'' to be in our wedding. We have been thinking of going to Vegas to get married and have a reception here when we get back just to avoid having to pick a bridal party. I kinda would like to stay here and have a normal ceremony. I was in my brother''s wedding. I would like my sister-in-law to be my MOH but my fiance does not want my brother to be his BM. Is this ok??

 

[Fancy605]

It''s your wedding, and I think you should do what makes you happy--even though I totally understand the not wanting to step on toes/hurt feelings.

If you want your sister-in-law as your maid of honr, that is great, even if your fiance does not have your brother as his best man. You could have him participate in your wedding as an usher. Who would your FH rather have as a best man?

 

[sumbride]

Bridal parties can be touchy subjects for many people. What it comes down to is really, you get to pick your side, he gets to pick his.

My BF feels obligated to have his brothers and his cousins in his, as well as his friends who have asked him to be in theirs. Oh, and his nephew is almost 15, so him too. And he thinks my brother is cool, so him too... When he rambles on and on about it, I just kind of stare at him. Who is left to sit in the chairs? Is marriage so frightening that you feel you need 8 people up there to hold you up? Or is that you just don''t want to hurt any feelings? He just feels that''s what he''s supposed to do so that''s what he wants to do.

Me? I have a couple of really close friends and a large group of semi-close friends, a couple of sisters-in-law, and a sister, and a neice who is almost 16. Oh, and his neice who has insisted that she be in it but would probably be a jr. bm. So I''m torn. I was thinking about just having 3, but then he told me how many he wanted and while we could do the two guys to escort each girl thing, I''m not sure. So then I mentioned it to my semi-close friends and they all now think they''re in, so we''re back at 8, and that makes 16 attendants, plus a ring bearer, and probably 3 flower girls so we don''t leave anybody out.... which is a frickin'' HUGE wedding... and all I wanted originally was to elope!

In the end, I think we''ll probably narrow it down to 3 or 4 people per side, plus the litle ones. Thinking that somebody expects to be in your wedding doesn''t make it true... My best friend didn''t have any attendants and I was THRILLED when I didn''t have to be a bridesmaid. I think you can be involved in the wedding while watching from the audience as well.

If he doesn''t want your brother to be a groomsman, you can always make him your BridesMan!

 

[ephemery1]

I''m with Sum on this... having a zillion attendants was NOT my vision for our wedding. I was hoping for 5 or 6 at the most, and it worked out well: I have 3 close friends from high school, my cousin (like a sister to me) and FI''s cousin (like a sister to him, as he''s an only child). He has 3 close friends from college, and my 2 brothers. The only place it got sticky was with his older cousins. We are very close to them but being that they''re nearly 8 years older (late 30s) and have 2 small children, we figured they weren''t quite right for attendants, so I think we''ll have them do a reading for us instead. And my male cousin (brother of my bridesmaid) would have loved to be part of it, but there just wasn''t enough room.

There are NO set rules... don''t worry about who had you in their wedding, or matching people up as MOH and Best Man, or anything like that. Two sets of our groosmmen and bridesmaids have actually dated and since broken up... having them all HAS to be some sort of breach of etiquette, but whatever! This is your wedding... my philosophy was to choose the people I knew would make for a fun, close and memorable bridal party, rather than a mish-mash of people to whom I felt obliged. Now hopefully that plan succeeds!!