Anxious, Nervous, Scared ??????

[akw94]

Hi everyone,
Lately, I''ve become a bit neurotic or something. All of a sudden, I had this realization that I''m getting married in 3 months. Are you kidding??!! It was just 9 months and then 6 months a few minutes ago. Only 3 months! So I''ve found myself feeling a bit overwhelmed. I do feel like I''m on target w/getting things done but still have some big things left to do. I''m running behind on getting invitations out. I wanted to get them out the 1st of June so that I''d know who''s coming early, in case I decided to invite others a bit later. But I''m moving next week so all my time has been packing.
Then, I still need to order sample flowers since I''m DIYing. I really want to decide what company I''m using and check that box off the list.
Plus, my FI and I are moving in together this coming week so that''s scary and exciting. Then, lately I''ve been waking up just not wanting to go to work. I don''t know if it''s b/c I have so much else going on or just b/c I really am no longer happy w/my job.
So much is happening! And one more thing, last night I had this amazingly real dream that I just had a baby. It was so darned real that when I woke up, I wondered where my child was.. I was totally disoriented, thought I''d over-slept, just weird.
I think part of the problem is that I''m sooooo impatient so having to wait for all these things to happen is driving me a bit crazy!

I just want to go back home and go back to sleep..but the ridiculous part is that I wouldn''t be able to go to sleep anyway b/c I have so much on my mind right now.

How''s everyone else feeling? Is it just me that''s going crazy???

 

[cara]

OK, you do sound a little bit like me right now! I also just passed the three month mark and sudddenly it is SOON. All those little tasks that could be put off until "closer" are suddenly on the list again!

Alright, I did not dream about having a baby. But I was dreaming about limo companies and hair salons last night! I get to pick a hair stylist blind!

Just do what you can and start to mentally plan when you are doing stuff. I too wanted to get invites out this weekend but that isn''t happening. So hopefully it will happen in the next two weeks. Then think about a good week to deal with your flowers after you move.

As for companies, I''ve heard good things about freshroses and theflowerexchange. You could look up jcrew''s black magic rose favors as I know she liked her company.

 

[Jossyw]

Dixie, you''re not going crazy! I too am just under 3 months away from my wedding and it certainly is exciting and stressful. My sweetheart and I are also getting ready to move again (3rd time in 2 years) and we''ll both be starting new jobs in the next few weeks. Sometime I find myself thinking that I just wish I could fast forward and be settled and married... But then I remind myself how fortunate I am. I''m marrying my best friend and I''m going to have a wonderful celebration with all my favorite people! Yes, it''s a lot of work but I think it will be so worth it and I know everyone who knows us is really looking forward to it. Everything will come together and in the end, even if the day isn''t perfect, I''ll be married at the end and that''s what matters.

As far as moving in together goes, indeed, it is very scary. I think it''s good that you''re somewhat nervous about that. if you weren''t then you probably wouldn''t be realistically considering the fact that your life will be changing. You''ll probably have to make some compromises that are a little uncomfortable at first but, if your experience is anything like mine, you''ll find that the discomfort is far outweighed by the benefits.

Can you try to think about your work as something that pays the bills but nothing more? If you can find a way to compartmentalize your life so that your work is just a job and your life outside of work is the focus, you may be able to stress about work less when you aren''t actually physically there. Perhaps for now, you shouldn''t worry about if the job isn''t right for you since you probably wont be in a position to make a change before the wedding. Just do what you can to be as comfortable in the job as possible and worry about if you should make a change after the wedding.

Good luck with the planning and your move!! These are exciting times - try to enjoy them!
J
ps: sorry to be so longwinded

 

[beaming]

ditto to a lot you said! We are 2.5 months away from our wedding. I also had a baby dream a couple of nights ago - weird!!! So, yes, I''m also feeling a little overwhelmed. I try to tell myself to just focus on one thing at a time. When I think about it all, my head starts spinning. This past weekend was invitation weekend - they''re pretty much done now, which is a relief. This week I''m going to try and deal with flowers. Next week, the cake. Happy times though

 

[Jas12]

ha--i am 5 weeks out and ya, i have panic moments where i am like "oh sh*t" we have so many loose ends to deal with--so i totally know the feeling!

Like you guys as well, got babies on the brain! FI and I plan to try right away so that is almost as exciting as the wedding planning!

 

[beachbound]

Relatively new on here, but thought I would jump in! I am SOOO nervous, and I completely understand! We have a little less than 2 1/2 months to go! FI and I had to pick out our vows yesterday, and reading the words we would be saying to each other made it very very real!
I also still have to figure out my flowers... Probably should start that pretty soon... Also have to order the flower petal samples! I''m slacking!
I never had the big "moving day" like most had. I can imagine it''s nerve wracking and exciting all at the same time! (I gradually moved all my stuff in.) It will be worth it though.
I also understand about the job. Its so frustrating, my job seems more and more mindless every morning that I come in. I''ve been on autopilot lately.

Having so much go on all at once is stressful, especially so many major life changes! Just remember not to let all of your frustrations out on your FI! Things will settle down, just don''t let them get to you! Easier said than done, I know. Anyway, good luck! Everything will work out!

 

[monarch64]

dixie, don''t worry! You''re totally normal! I remember having the same feelings (and some very weird dreams) about 2-3 months before the wedding. I was working full time, and very erratic hours at that, and I just started worrying all the time about getting everything done, not to mention keeping up with everyday life at home, cleaning, cooking, etc. My DH was pretty good about helping out, but he also needed me to tell him exactly what to do and that stressed me out even more just having to write out lists sometimes, lol!

Are you taking time off from work the week or so before your wedding? If not, you might want to consider it if at all possible. Also, are you stressing out about your current job because you guys are planning on moving in 2008? Maybe part of your mental stress about not wanting to go to work is because you know you''ll be leaving there anyway? Just speculating here from what I''ve read on your previous posts...hope you start feeling better. Sometimes you just need to take a day off for "mental health" I know I did that a couple times during the planning process! I didn''t spend those days planning or doing very much wedding-related, either, I just made time for myself and took some long drives or got my nails done, it really relieved some of my stress.

 

[akw94]

I really appreciate you guys! I do feel better after reading your responses. Thank you so much!

Cara, I''ve only had one wedding related dream so far but it sure was weird! I know things are on my mind when I begin to dream about them... goodness, can I get a dream-free night''s sleep!
Thanks for the flower companies. I will look into them. I do have a mental list and have dates in mind to do things. That helps when I''m thinking logically. It''s just when I start to think of everything that I tend to freak out a bit! Clearly not thinking rationally is the problem!

Jossy, I sometimes wish I could fast forward too, to the wedding day. I am just so excited for that day to come, it''s sooooo hard to be patient! Luckily, I have plenty to keep me busy. You seem to have a lot going on and doing a great job of keeping it all together! I think you''re right about feelings about moving. Although I''ve lived w/someone before, this feels so different... unbelievably different. I''m hoping I''ll feel a bit more settled after we move.
As for work, I''ve never been able to view my job just as something that pays the bills. It''s what I always wanted to do so realizing that it isn''t that anymore has been a difficult process. But changing careers is also so hard so I''m attempting to figure out my next move, in between everything else. But you''re right, I''m not making a change before the wedding so I''m just trying to maintain and not stress too much right now. Thanks for the advice and don''t worry about being long-winded, I appreciated it!

Beaming, another person dreaming about babies... I try to focus on one thing at a time too, but as you read, it doesn''t always work for me. Great that your invites are almost done! Did you do them yourself? If you are doing flowers yourself, there''s a thread that SoHappy and I started called DIY Flowers that has tips, websites, resources, etc.. As for the cake, that is fun to do. I have picked flavors but still need to finalize my design. Good luck!

Jas, you don''t have much longer to go now! Thinking about babies is very exciting! We are also planning to try soon and for the longest time, I didn''t plan to have more children (we both have 1 already) so that''s been a big deal. So much going on! Good luck w/all your final details! Btw, love the rign in your avatar!

Beachbound, thanks for posting! I agree that picking vows makes it very, very real! I did that the other day too. I almost started crying just thinking about it and actually picking the words we''ll say... wow! It''s pretty intense.
Yeah, I find myself on autopilot many days too but then I realize that and I have so much to do at work. Thanks for the tip about not letting my frustrations out on my FI. I try not to. Sometimes I''ll have to think before I email or say something b/c I know I''m feeling extra emotional right now and it rarely has to do w/him specifically. Thanks for the well wishes and same to you!

Monarch, nice to ''see'' you! I can see how writing lists would be a bit stressful too. Sometimes I wish my FI would just say, "hey, don''t we still need to do __ for the wedding, I''ll take care of that." Ok, that will never happen but it would be nice! I am taking off the Thurs and Fri before the wedding, which is on a Sunday. Those will be busy days but I can''t afford to take off more. Taking those days and the honeymoon days, plus one or two in between and after, I''m about all used up!

You said: "Also, are you stressing out about your current job because you guys are planning on moving in 2008?"
I wish it were that simple. I''m stressing out about everything right now!!! Job, move, wedding, upcoming ''08 move, you name it, it''s on the list! But to answer your question, yes, you are absolutely right. It is hard to stay happy and motivated at work when I know I''m ready to leave and I know I will be leaving.
I am definitely going to take your suggestion on a mental health day after we move. Maybe even make it a spa day which sounds so heavenly right now!!

Thanks everyone, for reminding me that I''m normal and please share your stories when you''re feeling anxious, nervous, scared, overwhelmed, worried or whatever you might be feeling!

Sheesh, talk about long-winded posts... Sorry!

Off to sleep for me!

 

[monarch64]

Dixie, best wishes for smooth sailing the rest of this planning period...it is your wedding and everything will end up going perfectly, I''m sure! Take this advice from a bride who''s been through it: there will be plenty of little things that piss you off along the way, but the best moments in the end will be between you and your man, and those are the ones that last a lifetime.

I hope you had a great time at the gem show...so sorry I wasn''t able to make it this time ( I was so sad, ask my DH who I cried about it to today), but I saw your pic on the GTG thread and you are a beauty and I''m sure you will look so gorgeous at your wedding. I loved the mystic topaz jewelry you bought, it is really pretty!

 

[akw94]

Thanks again Monarch (I just finished posting in the other thread)! I had a good time and am sorry you couldn''t make it. I was looking fwd to meeting you.
Everything really is going pretty well w/the planning. I just have my moments, especially late at night when I''m feeling extra overwhelmed. But after spending the last few days w/my FI, I feel great and am sooo excited about moving this week. And I sold some of my things for our move together and have extra wedding money.
I think sometimes I also get a little overwhelmed b/c things are going so well. I get a little nervous since my past hasn''t always been as easy. But I really am happy!

And now I have to get some more packing done!

I hope you feel better soon!!

 

[Tacori E-ring]

Ahhh...Dixie you will get it all done! Do you have a friend who can help you with the invites? Sometimes if you make lists everything doesn''t seem so overwhelming. 3 months is still a lot of time to finish up everything. We hear of people planning their WHOLE wedding in 3 months! Just take a moment to TRY to relax. The day will be so special and worth all the stress. I promise!

 

[akw94]

Tacori, thanks! My mom has been helping w/everything so that makes a big difference. I only have one close friend who''s in town, she is a bridesmaid but hasn''t been involved at all. Not sure what the deal is but I moved past that awhile ago.
I do feel a lot more relaxed these days. I think my craziness comes and goes in spurts. These days, I''m focused on the move and so I''m able to let the wedding stuff stay aside for a few days. I''ll get back to it this weekend when things are a bit more settled.
Thanks for the support!

 

[fatafelice]

Dixie, I can certainly sympathize. The three month mark was when a lot of the stress actually started to set in for me as well. Now I have thirty days and I am close to having panic attacks.

Hang in there and as hard as it is, try to get stuff done now so that you don''t have as much to worry about later. I admit that when I got stressed two months ago, I pushed some things off, and now I wish I hadn''t.

 

[budgetbride]

3 months here and I too am feaking out. I still don''t have a DJ!!! I''m trying to stay calm. I find that sites like pricescope really calm me down cuz other brides are in the same situation.

 

[So_happy]

Oh, Dixie, so sorry to hear you are feeling like this

. I am sending pseudo-bridesmaid cyber hugs your way!! You have so much going on right now with the move and I''m happy to hear you''ve chosen to put that bit first and let the wedding stuff sort of float away for just a little bit. It sounds like that''s exactly what needs to be done. Congrats on the big move, Dixie!!!!

 

[akw94]

Fatefalice, it seems like there''s a common theme to stress rising around the 3month mark. I guess it becomes a bit more real! I will try not to push too many things off! Thanks for the advice and good luck to you! You''ll get everything done!!

Budgetbride, I find the PS helps me too. It''s nice being around others who can relate and help you to realize you''re not alone. Good luck on finding a DJ!

SoHappy, thanks for the hugs! I am now officially moved, although tons to unpack, so I plan to get back into wedding planning mode... ok, well, I might wait until next week b/c right now I''m so sleepy that I can barely function! I am excited to get the invites out. How are yours coming along?
I also plan to do my sample flower order this month too. Lots to do!!

 

[Tacori E-ring]

Date: 5/29/2007 4:39:53 PM
Author: dixie94
Tacori, thanks! My mom has been helping w/everything so that makes a big difference. I only have one close friend who''s in town, she is a bridesmaid but hasn''t been involved at all. Not sure what the deal is but I moved past that awhile ago.
I do feel a lot more relaxed these days. I think my craziness comes and goes in spurts. These days, I''m focused on the move and so I''m able to let the wedding stuff stay aside for a few days. I''ll get back to it this weekend when things are a bit more settled.
Thanks for the support!

Planning weddings can be stressful. That is awesome your mom has been so helpful. My bridesmaids were not involved AT ALL so I am not sure what considered normal. I am glad you are feeling more relaxed. Just remember you marrying your best friend is the most important part! No one remembers the details we slave over

 

[So_happy]

Oh goodie! You''re all moved in Congratulations

I can''t wait to see any flower mockups you do!! If you show me yours, I''ll show you that (quite garrish imo) pink "bouquet" I did way back in February

It hasn''t made it on here because it really wasn''t the best first-try lol. Oh, and remind me where you ended w invitations? Which did you go with?

I actually had put my invitation supplies awaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay for a long time because I was just too overwhelmed at the time with school etc. Well, they finally came back out of the box last night and I started working on them. There are many steps to these and I''m wondering ever so slightly if I''m a glutton for punishment?

Once I get a full one completed, I''ll definitely share pics. We are aiming for completion on June 13th.

Still to go are the design of, printing, and then mounting the rsvp card to the flat card, stamping and then embossing and then mounting the invitation to its flat card. I guess stuffing it all into the outer envelope would come next Oh my.

Back to you my friend!!! You get some much deserved rest and relaxation! Treat yourself to a pedicure or a yummy coffee drink at your local Starbucks Or, my favorite.........go for a walk by the beach or a pretty garden w your possible first dance songs playing on your mp3 player

And above all, come back here to share once you''ve rested, you cohabitating woman, you!!!!

 

[akw94]

Tacori, you're right. It has been great that my mom is around. I'm not really sure what's considered normal w/bridesmaids either but I can't say that I'm a bit disappointed that the one that's in town has made no effort to do anything wedding related. In fact, we talk less lately than we talked before. Kind of a bummer but makes me appreciate my mom that much more.

Thanks So Happy! Of course, now that I'm ready to start w/the flowers, the bowls are out of stock and not available until mid-June. So I want to wait and make sure I have a centerpiece bowl so I can get a feel for those too, since I'm using the roses for everything. You should post pics of your trial!! But hopefully I'll do mine this month and have something to share.
As for invitations, I haven't completely decided on style but I'm leaning toward something like what's below. I still have to work out the exact wording etc.. but something very similar. I found that I didn't like the all uppercase as much as the lower.

I think I'll use your invitation date for mine too! Not sure if I'll get it done by then but I will try. You do have a lot of steps for yours. Good luck!!

Unfortunately, right after my FI moved in, I got sick again! Second time in less than a month so I haven't been doing much of anything these days. I don't have time for this

ETA: I just realized that one different thing on the invites is that I prefer using the first letter capitalized in our names vs. all lowercase. I hope that doesn't look weird but I like it.

 

[akw94]

So more like this (as usual, sorry for all the space):

 

[robbie3982]

I know I''m late, but I just wanted to say that you''re not alone! I''m at just about 3 months and I''m super nervous/scare/anxious about EVERYTHING. On a weird sidenote I had a baby dream too, but in mine I was just pregnant and didn''t actually have it.

 

[akw94]

Hi Robbie, thanks for the response. I saw your under 100 day thread and have been meaning to comment. I''m under 100 too, was 96 yesterday.
The baby dreams are odd, huh...
Good luck w/all of your details! How are things coming along?

 

[monarch64]

Dixie, dixie, dixie...I didn''t realize you had moved in together, I''m so happy for you! I remember you from the LIW days and when you were looking at rings thinking he wasn''t, etc., it''s so cool to see your story unfolding here on PS and to know that you are so close to your wedding day and your happily-ever-after now! I SO wish I had been able to make it to the gem show a couple weeks ago so i could''ve congratulated you in person, but that''s passed and here you are getting your invites prepared--so a big virtual congrats instead!

I''m sorry to hear you''ve been feeling under the weather but glad you''re a little less stressed than when you first posted this thread! Your wedding will be fantastic, I''m sure, and like J.Crow said above just remember you''re marrying your best friend, and at the end of the wedding day you''ll be able to fall into his arms and laugh, cry, and talk together about the day, just the two of you, with no more worries of all of this stuff!

 

[robbie3982]

Date: 6/5/2007 6:02:02 PM
Author: dixie94
Hi Robbie, thanks for the response. I saw your under 100 day thread and have been meaning to comment. I''m under 100 too, was 96 yesterday.
The baby dreams are odd, huh...
Good luck w/all of your details! How are things coming along?

Things are coming along really well (just ordered invites the other day!), but I''m still freaking out about everything. I hate details lol.

 

[akw94]

Date: 6/5/2007 11:34:36 PM
Author: monarch64
Dixie, dixie, dixie...I didn''t realize you had moved in together, I''m so happy for you! I remember you from the LIW days and when you were looking at rings thinking he wasn''t, etc., it''s so cool to see your story unfolding here on PS and to know that you are so close to your wedding day and your happily-ever-after now! I SO wish I had been able to make it to the gem show a couple weeks ago so i could''ve congratulated you in person, but that''s passed and here you are getting your invites prepared--so a big virtual congrats instead!

I''m sorry to hear you''ve been feeling under the weather but glad you''re a little less stressed than when you first posted this thread! Your wedding will be fantastic, I''m sure, and like J.Crow said above just remember you''re marrying your best friend, and at the end of the wedding day you''ll be able to fall into his arms and laugh, cry, and talk together about the day, just the two of you, with no more worries of all of this stuff!

Monarch, thanks so much! I sometimes think about those LIW days too and am so happy where we are right now. It feels great! I wish you could''ve come too but maybe we can meet for lunch or something one of these days. As I was driving home from the Oakbrook area the other day, I thought of you as I heard all the cicada''s in the background. Boy, they are bad out there! Hopefully you''ve had no more bad encounters!

I am definitely feeling less stressed these days, maybe b/c we''ve moved in together and that makes me SO happy! But I''m trying not to get too far behind in wedding stuff.
Both of my Aunt''s have made plane reservations and one of his confirmed she''s coming so it feels so much more real every day.
I''m so excited!!

Robbie, congrats on ordering the invites! That''s my big project right now! Yes, lots of details...............