Any lawyers? Wedding advice needed

[bfready]

New FI and I are planning our wedding date. (I''ll be the groom.) I''m just finishing up my 2nd year of law school, so next year will be it for me and I''ll be ready to study for the dreaded ohio bar exam. The exam is at the end of July, and I''ve heard that the studying should be about two solid months. Barbri courses start the week after Memorial Day. I was wondering if we should plan the wedding for the few weeks between hooding and bar review courses, or if that just doesn''t make sense. I''m worried that if we shoot for Labor Day, I''ll be distracted from exam prep by wedding prep. I liked the idea of the May wedding followed by bar studying and taking followed by honeymoon. Any thoughts?

 

[So_happy]

I don''t know if you only wanted lawyers to respond due to thier particular insight into your situation, but I''d say that trying to not have both wedding planning and exam studying going on at the same time is a good idea It would be nice to have the wedding after these exams, no? Or between them, as you suggested.

Another option, if you can afford it, is to hire a planner to handle most planning aspects while you do your studying.

 

[NYCsparkle]

i think that you should get married before the studying. it is a hard exam that needs 110% of time to study. good luck and the honeymoon after the exam is a great idea!! good luck!!

 

[bfready]

As I said, I''m the groom, so I don''t know how much planning I really have (get) to do.

 

[Independent Gal]

I agree that having the wedding before you start studying is the best option. While you may not be doing too much in the way of planning, being the groom (ha!), from what I know from hanging out here, and from my friends, wedding planning can cause MAJOR stress in many families, and your new FI might appreciate having you all chilled out and 100% there to support her in case something comes up.

Plus, having the honeymoon just after the exams means something to look forward to!

 

[So_happy]

Date: 4/25/2007 11:37:53 AM
Author: bfready
As I said, I''m the groom, so I don''t know how much planning I really have (get) to do.

Right. But even if you don''t have a single task-oriented thing to do, you''ll probably still need to be able to be emotionally and physically present during the process. Of course, this depends on your Bride-to-be and how involved she''ll need you/want you to be.

I''m in grad school and my FI is a new buisness owner and we both have issues at times figuring out who should do what and when when it comes to the wedding. It gets tense sometimes. Even though I do most of the planning, he is usually able to listen and help me decide when I can''t and offer verbal and emotional support on issues as they arise. If he, for example, needed to not even hear my issues or at least offer an ear every now and then due to something like studying for the Bar, I''d go nuts! Or at least, when deciding on a date, I would like to know that he would not be available to me in that way and we could decide from there is that is something I could deal with

 

[eleguin]

I am a lawyer (just took the NY and NJ bars last July). We got engaged last May a week before Barbri started and I didn''t look at any wedding-related stuff until August after the bar was over. I think it''s a bad idea to start wedding planning while studying for the bar, but if you are already engaged and you won''t be taking the bar until next year, you have plenty of time to get everything done before the two months of hell. I suggest getting married and taking the honeymoon after the bar, even if it''s soon after (like a week or two). A few of my law school friends got married in August after the bar and it was great because:

1. You have something to look forward to during those crazy months of studying.
2. You will be much more carefree on your wedding day and honeymoon w/o a bar exam looming over you like a big gray cloud.
3. I wouldn''t want the memory of my first few months of married life to be overshadowed by the bar exam.

And also, since you are the groom, I think it will be less frenzied for you. If you get started planning now, you won''t have a problem. I am getting married in September and everything is done already. The two or three months prior to the wedding we won''t have that much to do, which is great considering I am working crazy law firm hours!

Good luck!

 

[Balaban]

Hi, Bfready. I was actually in the exact same situation as you last year - my fi proposed to me in the middle of last spring, during my 2L year of law school. We had originally planned to have the wedding between my 3L law school finals and graduation and bar study (e.g., late May), but wound up changing it to the fall because there were simply too many things to get done in the spring (on top of wedding planning, finishing law school, preparing to move and finding a place - not sure if you have to do that - graduation, etc). I had started to feel as though I had a date to show up at my own wedding, and really wanted to take more time to enjoy it. The final straw was when I found out that BarBri classes were actually starting on May 22 in NY, not after Memorial Day as I had been told when I called to check in spring 2006.

Although a post-3L year pre-bar May wedding can of course be done, I seriously think it makes sense for you and your fi to think about waiting till August, September, or October, but try to do lots of the arrangements in the fall of ''06 and then just take a complete hiatus while studying for the bar.

My original wedding date is only slightly more than a month away from now, and I seriously cannot imagine how I could have handled that. I actually recently saw a girl I know from law school (another 3L) who is getting married on Memorial Day weekend, and she seemed so stressed out and sad. I asked her how everything was going and she got all teary and said there was just so much to do (we''re in the middle of exams right now) ... I know that everyone''s situation is different, but I really think it would be a good idea to think about fall of ''08 and whether it might work for you two ... You want your wedding to be beautiful and something you can really lose yourself to and enjoy ... Good luck!

 

[julybride]

Wow, tough call. If you wait until August, be sure to do most planning, including details prior to the start of barbri. This advice is also for your fiance. My fiance, (boyfriend at the time) took the Texas bar last July. I had no idea just how much he would need me during those two months of preparing for the bar. I found myself keeping up with his bills, doing his grocery shopping (we weren''t living together), and just maintaining daily chores around the house. Don''t get me wrong, my fiance is very independent and obsessive/compulsive. We both were amazed at just how much of the bar preparation would control our lives. He was a completely different person during that time. I would hate for your fiance to feel torn about planning all the details of the wedding and being there for you in case you needed her. It''s a tough time.

If you do get married in May, I would suggest waiting until August to take the honeymoon. It will be well needed once you complete the bar, for the both of you! My Fiance and I took a late flight to New Orleans on July 27, 2006 (the last day of the exam) for an extended weekend, what I thought was to celebrate the end of the two months of hell and to just relax. Little did I know, Fiance had another plan. The following, evening he proposed. What a releif to have the bar behind us and our future to look forward to. Our wedding is July 28, 2007 - exactly one year later.

These are just suggestions. You will choose what is best for the both of you, and it will be the perfect decision because you made it together. Good luck to you (and to your fiance as she helps you through this time).

You know, as I look back, that time he was in Barbri was one of our most stressfull times, but also one that we grew the closest! He allowed me to help him in ways that he has never needed someone for. The best to the both of you!


~ Shannon

 

[Mrs Mitchell]

Only suggestion I can make is to check and double check the dates. We decided to have a small wedding with a short planning time, so I looked at my diary and picked a date that I thought fitted with my other plans. Somehow, I got it hopelessly wrong and ended up getting married during my second week at law school!

Not one of my better ideas!

Jen

 

[FSULaw]

I graduated from law school last May. If my fiance and I could have afforded a wedding between graduation and studying for the Bar exam, we definitely would have done it then. There are several things to consider. First, you will have at least three weeks between graduation and the Bar course. This should you give you plenty of time to finish all of the last minute details, have a great wedding and a fabulous honeymoon. Second, your new job may want you to report to work very soon after the bar exam. Third, you will likely not have any money after the Bar. I don''t know about Ohio, but I know that it cost almost 5 grand to take the Florida bar (application fee, Barbri, exam, hotel, etc). Plus, your first paycheck may be weeks away. That said, my fiance and I are getting married November 17th of this year (once you start working, good luck taking any time off that first year). Just my two cents worth