Anybody else feel this way?

[laughwithme]

Maybe this seems really silly, but I hope I''m not the only one. Sometimes, its really hard for me to look at pictures on the Knot, in magazines and particularly on Southern Weddings - because, I KNOW I will have a beautiful, unique, and stunning wedding - but c''mon, some of these weddings are so gorgeous, it''s intimidating to even look at them and TRY to come that close to amazing! It''s like a baby eyeing candy - I have a decent budget for my wedding and am certainly incorporating some unique and beautiful things - and I know my day will be 100% what I want - but looking at some of these weddings makes me think things like, "that photo shot is one-a-million: I''ll never get that lucky!" or "I was happy with my lilies until I saw those orchids- how nice that would be..." or "mountains in the background?! maybe I should cancel my reception, save up another three years, and take everyone to Colorado..." I only get one shot, and I love what I have until I see these beautiful ideas that are relatively out-of-reach.

And its not just whimsical thoughts - its actually sort of depressing inside...! Today, I clicked on Southern Weddings (I have it saved as a favorite) and thought to myself, why do I even look at this? It just depresses me that I could never have a wedding this amazing.

Again, my budget is fine - this isn''t a money thing! Maybe its a creativity thing or a paranoid thing or a "woe is me" thing - but I really need to get over it! The ideas I get from these pictures just doesn''t seem to be a good tradeoff for the way I feel after looking at some of these things.

Anyone else know what I mean?

 

[ficklefaye]

oh, laughwithme, trust me, you aren''t the only one, i am having a winery wedding (it''s one of my top locations on my list) and i still look at other people''s photos and think, ''wow, maybe i should have done this or that instead'', but there is a reason i chose my venue in the first place and i''m obviously sticking to it, i can''t just change my mind and have everyone book flights to so and so

as wonderful and lovely as those other weddings are, those are other people''s weddings, and they put a lot of thought and effort into them, i''m sure after your wedding, some other BIW could be saying the same thing about yours

i say be happy, yours will turn out great!

i guess this is called ''wedding envy''

 

[merrymunky]

No it isn''t unusual.

I feel much the same way. My wedding is going to be a very low budget affair. The whole thing will be costing us no more that £3500.

I see all the weddings on here and it scares me that mine isn''t going to ve very special at all.

I am making sure there are personal touches the whole way but I hope it looks nice, not tacky.

 

[Keepingthefaith21]

You are not the only one. I have days like that. I think, in the end, our wedding will be just perfect for us but sometimes when I look at these very elaborate weddings I start thinking maybe we should have gone a more traditional route. Then I remember that we are just not a traditional couple at all and start to count all the very traditional weddings we''ve attended over the years on both my hands and a few toes and I''m reminded why we took the path we did.

I had to stop watching Platinum Weddings because I was always so jealous of the fact that these people could just go and do whatever they want.

 

[NakedFinger]

Yup, welcome to my world. I am a wedding planner and do $100K weddings and up typically (have done many million plus weddings). So I basically experience "Platinum Weddings" every day (which by the way, is like heroin to me, love that show), and its always in my face. I now have that in my head as the only feasible way to do a wedding, and nothing else will do. I go to other people''s wedding and unfortunately critique in my head everything about them. It sucks kinda, because even though I would plan a million dollar wedding in a heartbeat (and love every minute of it) if I had that kind of cash, I dont. So I am afraid anything else will be a disappointment. So if I am going to be disappointed, I might as well do a DW low key. There''s either a destination wedding, or the wedding of my dreams. No in-between for me.

Its ridiculous, I know. I am thinking of having my head examined.....

 

[House Cat]

I remember on the blog, a practical wedding, there was an article about how one of the writers took a break from looking at wedding blogs. She wrote about how refreshing it was because she no longer felt it was necessary to have things like chandeliers in the trees, etc. She was able to come up with her own ideas and keep her own perspective.

These blogs show some really over the top ideas. I think that''s why the weddings are blogged in the first place. I like to look because it''s nice to look. For me, the weddings all start to meld into one though. I''ve found that I''m starting to scroll quickly. Blog overload?

What you''re feeling is totally normal. It is very easy to get wrapped up in all of the beauty of these blogs.

 

[daught3rofEve]

I know at least for me, that while I know that everything in there cost wayyy more money than I would ever want to spend, there is ALWAYS a way to get it cheaper (DIY, or go to a Sam''s or Costo and get the same as you would like at the Container Store, or what have you).

To me, I use those magazines, blogs, shows, etc. for an idea generator, then I take from that what I can do, and how i can make it work with my budget......


they are like heroine, though..... one time, and you''re hooked.

 

[katamari]

I would absolutely recommend reading "One Perfect Day" by Rebecca Mead if you haven''t already. It really helped me keep perspective.

The other thing that helped me keep perspective is to realize that my friends and family might be going to 3 or 4 other weddings this year, tops, so they won''t have the exposure to weddings and ideas that we all have. For instance, I went to a wedding in May that had a candy buffet for a favor. Everyone there was freaking out about what a cool idea it was and how they had never seen anything like that before. It definitely was a reality check (in a very good way) for me.

 

[wannaBMrsH]

Date: 7/30/2009 11:01:50 AM
Author: katamari
I would absolutely recommend reading ''One Perfect Day'' by Rebecca Mead if you haven''t already. It really helped me keep perspective.

The other thing that helped me keep perspective is to realize that my friends and family might be going to 3 or 4 other weddings this year, tops, so they won''t have the exposure to weddings and ideas that we all have. For instance, I went to a wedding in May that had a candy buffet for a favor. Everyone there was freaking out about what a cool idea it was and how they had never seen anything like that before. It definitely was a reality check (in a very good way) for me.

Katamari, this is a great book! I read it and thought how true it was! I am very lucky that FI and I have a much bigger budget than most. For us it was more important to celebrate with our family in a beautiful location. At least 50% of our budget went to paying for our family to travel to the wedding. Another reason that we only asked family to be in our BP.

There were some things that I wish we had more money for (I would LOVE a designer gown-I saw a gorgeous one by Romona Keveza; I would love to give out pashminas for favors; etc) but the truth is that we focused our budget on the items that were important to us (family, location, and photography).

We are getting plain platinum bands for wedding bands and they are gorgeous! I love them! I bought a dress on ebay for $150 (and I think it looks great! and I''m trashing it!)

So to the OP, your wedding is going to be beautiful because it will unite you with your love. And the people who are important to you will be there to witness it. That will make the wedding unique and inspired. Because it will be YOURS!

 

[trillionaire]

when I look at those websites and mags, I just seem rampant consumerism at it''s worst. It''s manipulative and exploitative for poor unknowing women. It''s very off-putting to me

. I don''t understand how wedding and marriage became an INDUSTRY! It makes me sick, and sad. I hate that people put a price tag on celebrating with friends and family.

I mean, to each their own, if you want a million dollar affair, then great for you, but I never dreamed of a wedding day, and it''s frustrating to have everyone impose on us what they think our wedding ''HAS to be'', based on what they see in magazines.

 

[LilyKat]

Also remember that you are seeing the event through the eyes of a professional photographer, possibly with the benefit of airbrushing, definitely with the benefit of selecting out the very best shots. That can make things seem impossibly beautiful and perfect, when in reality, there were probably a good many things that didn''t work, went wrong, didn''t look so great etc.

You know, like when seeing beautiful photos of celebrities makes you feel jealous and inadequate, until you see them without makeup and then you think, actually, perhaps I''m not that far off

 

[laughwithme]

You are all amazing - this has made me feel way better! In fact, maybe I will stop looking at Southern Weddings (for some reason, it makes me feel the worst.)

House Cat hit the nail on the head- chandeliers in trees, and that sort of thing, makes me think that my cutesy little ideas are so pitiful. BUT, guests will still love my ideas because chances are, they''ve never seen a d*mn chandelier in a tree!

Ok, this has been so refreshing. I''m going to (a) read that book (b) stop looking at Southern Weddings and (c) have fun with my own ideas and refuse to compare them against anything.

 

[jstarfireb]

Date: 7/30/2009 5:18:53 PM
Author: trillionaire
when I look at those websites and mags, I just seem rampant consumerism at it''s worst. It''s manipulative and exploitative for poor unknowing women. It''s very off-putting to me

. I don''t understand how wedding and marriage became an INDUSTRY! It makes me sick, and sad. I hate that people put a price tag on celebrating with friends and family.

I mean, to each their own, if you want a million dollar affair, then great for you, but I never dreamed of a wedding day, and it''s frustrating to have everyone impose on us what they think our wedding ''HAS to be'', based on what they see in magazines.

I feel much the same way. I had also never pictured my wedding day before it was time to start planning. In fact, I made a point of keeping my wedding simple and unpretentious. Some of the other weddings I''ve been to have been particularly focused on either keeping up with the latest trends or over-the-top extravagance. I just wanted a wedding that reflected my simple, casual sense of style. And for the most part, I got it (although the mom intervened by adding some things that I considered unnecessary).

 

[Amanda.Rx]

Oh honey, wait til you start looking at Southern homes after the wedding... I think it''s human nature to always want more than we have. Somebody''s possessions will always be prettier, more elegant, more breathtaking, and more expensive than yours. It''s good to learn to be happy with what you''ve got!

I understand how you feel, though. I''d love to drop $80,000 on my wedding day, but it''s just not practical. The photos are certainly fun to drool over, though!

 

[Amanda.Rx]

Same goes the other way too... somebody''s dream wedding will be exactly what you have!

 

[Clairitek]

Date: 7/30/2009 10:03:12 PM
Author: Amanda.Rx
Same goes the other way too... somebody''s dream wedding will be exactly what you have!

This couldn''t be more true!

One of the things I love most about looking at wedding on PS is getting the chance to glimpse the personality of the bride and groom and their family who helped plan. You learn something about that person by the details they focused on. Now I have things that I fondly associate with different PSers and their weddings. A few examples
Gypsy- gorgeous flowers
Violet02- attention to detail and design, really awesome photographer
Haven- gorgeous veil and really cool bustle on her Melissa Sweet dress
Thing2- pink dress!
Musey- that gorgeous Pronovias gown and her autumn theme
CDNinNYC- Blue green and yellow and the white out board at her reception

While your day might not end up on The Knot Best of Weddings or whatever it will be YOUR day with YOUR choices and YOUR details and I guarantee you, it will be lovely!

 

[House Cat]

Date: 7/30/2009 10:01:24 PM
Author: Amanda.Rx
Oh honey, wait til you start looking at Southern homes after the wedding... I think it''s human nature to always want more than we have. Somebody''s possessions will always be prettier, more elegant, more breathtaking, and more expensive than yours. It''s good to learn to be happy with what you''ve got!

I understand how you feel, though. I''d love to drop $80,000 on my wedding day, but it''s just not practical. The photos are certainly fun to drool over, though!

This made me laugh so hard!! Isn''t it the truth?


Laughwithme, your ideas are your personal touches to your wedding. They are a reflection of you. No one will think they are pitiful!