Anyone else feel like your jewelry(size, style, metal) makes you look more formal than your outfit or the occasion?

[MountainJuls]

Hey all,

I have been thinking lately about why I have been unsettled on a permanent setting for my loverly diamonds. I have realized that it is because the combination of size, style and metal choice makes me feel like my jewelry looks more suited to a formal event than my day to day life. For reference, I have a 2.13 ct F solitaire ER in a temporary basic 6-prong white gold setting and a pair of 2.10 ctw F stud earrings in 6-prong platinum. I also have been wearing my sapphire necklace with diamond halo from Tiffany's in platinum, and a silver Elsa Peretti teardrop choker that I lengthened by adding the matching bracelet to it.

I have been feeling way too formal in my jewelry for my casual life in my casual town. I feel my clothes are suited for a (highly likely) Target run, but jewelry for the opera. Now I'm not gonna downsize my diamonds, but do want to find a way to be more comfortable wearing them in my daily life. In my mind jewelry attributes can tend more toward one side of the scale than others. Seeing that I have several aspects on the formal end of the spectrum, no wonder why I feel like my items are out of sync with my style! Do any of you feel similarly, or have you gone through a similar thought process, even if you may classify some attributes differently? If so, have you consciously changed your jewelry attributes to suit your aesthetic/lifestyle?


Formal
cool metals
larger diamonds
higher color diamonds
Modern cuts
diamond halos
more prongs
ORTRTA
minimal metal
one metal tone
diamonds only
intricate designs


Casual
warm metals
smaller/no diamonds
lower color diamonds
Old cuts
solitaires
less/no prongs
stacks/layers
chunkier settings
mixed metals
colored gemstones
simple designs

Let me know your thought, same or different!
Thanks, Jul

 

[distracts]

It sounds to me like your jewelry is very casual? I would think formal jewelry is like... dinner rings, drop earrings with multiple gems, necklaces and bracelets with many gems (but more involved than a tennis bracelet or necklace).

I think the only aspect of your "formal" list I'd consider more formal are halos and intricate designs - provided that the intricate designs take up a lot of space.

 

[Mrs_Strizzle]

I wear my 3.6ct oec, my 2.45ct rose cut diamond, my 1ct old mine solitaire pendant and .7tcw studs, and my 2.5 tcw fancy colored diamond bracelet everyday (unless I trade out the Rosie for my sapphire in my avatar or another colored stone) with a tank top, cut offs, and flip flops, tattoos on full show this summer. I know some think they are fake in my town because I actually had the girl at the Goodwill ask me where she can get a ring like mine! I don't care in the slightest and get quite the chuckle. I have also been asked if it's real. My answer was "it's real to me". I left out also to the GIA.

Edited to add that I don't, however wear my antique platinum watches and bracelets with tank tops and cut offs. That would be more over the top than even I am

 

[jewels4life]

Personally, I don’t ever think about it . I love wearing all my jewelry with joggers, t shirt and Nikes. I don’t plan on changing that anytime soon , because that’s me! Lol.

 

[yssie]

My lifestyle doesn’t “match” my bling. My bling doesn’t “match” my lifestyle.

I try to avoid worrying about “matching” outside of situations wherein going overboard would be insensitive, unsafe, or otherwise harmful.

 

[kenny]

Yes.
Many years ago I wore a 2.26ct asscher diamond that I absolutely loved.
But in some situations I felt self conscious and even uncomfortable.
For me it felt rather large.

I sold it and now wear a 1.51 ct Octavia Asscher that's perfect, though the light performance from its superior cut is much more eye-catching than the 2.26.
Now I almost never spin the ring around to hide the stone.

 

[MissGotRocks]

I do not worry about matching. I have the diamonds to wear and enjoy. Comfort is really about your comfort level - not anyone else’s. I don’t think your jewelry sounds formal and that means it can either be worn casually or for dress up. I don’t know how else you could change up the look unless you just didn’t wear it all at the same time. That wouldn’t be my choice but it might be yours.

 

[DejaWiz]

My wife would say yes, but also that she doesn't during those shorts and t-shirt evenings and weekends.

 

[Austina]

I like in Hicksville, and wear my 4.56 ct ER, 1.3 ct half eternity band, 2.12 ct RHR, 3.5ct. diamonds hoops, 2.25 ct diamond bracelet and .75 ct pendant down to Home Depot and the supermarket

 

[MountainJuls]

Thanks for all the input so far,

Reading your perspectives is great! Why can't you all live in my neck of the woods?! I have the largest bling of anyone I know by far and have even gotten some comments about what I am all dressed up for when I am wearing my jewelry. I need to get better at not being bothered by that, or by strange looks I get.

At any rate I do need a permanent setting, and have been wanting to bezel my ER diamond, for practical reasons as well as peace of mind(nightmares of shattered diamonds anyone?) Now, I find I am leaning toward mixing platinum and 18K yellow gold together, either within my ER, or in separate items I stack.

I do plan on getting a wedding band and possibly anniversary band also, but wanted to decide on ER setting first. Then I could choose to not wear ER depending on the situation, but I don't like going without any ring at all. Then, at least it won't look like I am just wearing one large diamond on my hand, which is all that is noticeable now. LOL, I don't suspect that many others want to make their diamonds less noticeable!

I think I am also seeing how many on here have worked through resets and I would like to avoid that as much as possible. However, it may also be the case that I just need to pull the trigger on a setting and then adjust course as I live with it.

 

[MountainJuls]

I like in Hicksville, and wear my 4.56 ct ER, 1.3 ct half eternity band, 2.12 ct RHR, 3.5ct. diamonds hoops, 2.25 ct diamond bracelet and .75 ct pendant down to Home Depot and the supermarket

Well if you can do, then I suppose I can too!

 

[MountainJuls]

I do not worry about matching. I have the diamonds to wear and enjoy. Comfort is really about your comfort level - not anyone else’s. I don’t think your jewelry sounds formal and that means it can either be worn casually or for dress up. I don’t know how else you could change up the look unless you just didn’t wear it all at the same time. That wouldn’t be my choice but it might be yours.

You're right about the comfort level. My settings aren't comfortable to me emotionally or physically. So the settings must change then.

 

[Pomelo]

Thanks for all the input so far,

Reading your perspectives is great! Why can't you all live in my neck of the woods?! I have the largest bling of anyone I know by far and have even gotten some comments about what I am all dressed up for when I am wearing my jewelry. I need to get better at not being bothered by that, or by strange looks I get.

At any rate I do need a permanent setting, and have been wanting to bezel my ER diamond, for practical reasons as well as peace of mind(nightmares of shattered diamonds anyone?) Now, I find I am leaning toward mixing platinum and 18K yellow gold together, either within my ER, or in separate items I stack.

I do plan on getting a wedding band and possibly anniversary band also, but wanted to decide on ER setting first. Then I could choose to not wear ER depending on the situation, but I don't like going without any ring at all. Then, at least it won't look like I am just wearing one large diamond on my hand, which is all that is noticeable now. LOL, I don't suspect that many others want to make their diamonds less noticeable!

I think I am also seeing how many on here have worked through resets and I would like to avoid that as much as possible. However, it may also be the case that I just need to pull the trigger on a setting and then adjust course as I live with it.

Just thought I could be helpful in discussing bezels as my ER (3.48ct OEC) is in a YG bezel but used to be in a 6-prong solitaire setting.

There are pros and cons to the bezel. For me, the bezel is great for my accident-prone and lazy lifestyle. I also feel like it looks less “engagementy” and I don’t get as many people asking me about the diamond but more about the setting.

On the downside - and to be honest this is something that I’ve noticed but can’t quantify it - I feel like the bezel has reduced the fire of the diamond. It still has great performance but I can’t seem to capture the same performance as it did when it was set high in a WG solitaire. I’ve read on PS that bezeling (v different to embezzling ) shouldn’t make a difference but… I don’t know

As for a WG bezel in a YG shank, I tried on a bezeled pear like this recently. Personally I prefer the setting to be all YG or all WG for continuity but that’s just my preference! I mix YG and RG on a daily basis but that’s because I haven’t rebuilt my collection to have any WG yet

 

[MountainJuls]

I wear my 3.6ct oec, my 2.45ct rose cut diamond, my 1ct old mine solitaire pendant and .7tcw studs, and my 2.5 tcw fancy colored diamond bracelet everyday (unless I trade out the Rosie for my sapphire in my avatar or another colored stone) with a tank top, cut offs, and flip flops, tattoos on full show this summer. I know some think they are fake in my town because I actually had the girl at the Goodwill ask me where she can get a ring like mine! I don't care in the slightest and get quite the chuckle. I have also been asked if it's real. My answer was "it's real to me". I left out also to the GIA.

Edited to add that I don't, however wear my antique platinum watches and bracelets with tank tops and cut offs. That would be more over the top than even I am

I wonder if some of the strange looks I get are bc ppl think they must be fake. Or, if they are real, why I am at a thrift store. I'm like Ben Franklin, a penny saved is a penny earned!

 

[dk168]

I have different jewellery wardrobes to suit the occasions.

The 1.19ct EC in an air gap halo only comes out for dressier occasions, and the day to day is a 0.47ct EC in a plain band.

The 0.86ct OEC that I purchased recently will also be simply set in a Gypsy setting as an alternative day to day ring to the small EC.

I dislike matchy matchy jewellery, and mix and match all the time; sometimes mixing real with costume pieces.

I am rough on my hands and do not like to wear jewellery that sit high on my fingers. Hence the bigger and taller rings only come out when I am unlikely to cause any damage at genteel events.

Likewise for the nicer bracelets and bangle. I wear costume bracelets on a day to day basis so that I don't have to baby them.

To me personally, blings are like wardrobes - different ones to suit different occasions/setting/etc...

I even have a mourning one when I have to dress head to toe in black, consisting of pieces in white metals, white diamonds and pearls, and no CSs or coloured diamonds, and no yellow/rose gold. Can't remember where I got this from though.

DK

 

[MeowMeow]

My jewellery probably IS too formal for the stay at home mom of a toddler who spends a majority of her days in pajamas lol. But I wear it anyway. I wear either just my 3 stone or 3 stone plus wedding band and a necklace with a bracelet. Sometimes I put on my wedding pearls for a bit just to wear them. Nobody is here so nobody can judge lol. At least nobody I know irl anyway lol.

 

[MissGotRocks]

I wonder if some of the strange looks I get are bc ppl think they must be fake. Or, if they are real, why I am at a thrift store. I'm like Ben Franklin, a penny saved is a penny earned!

You will age and grow to know that it really doesn’t matter what others think. They will think what they want regardless. Don’t let other people define your comfort level for you. Even if they think the worst, it will just be a passing thought. I wouldn’t rearrange my life to suit them unless YOU are uncomfortable wearing these items. You can reset a 2 carat diamond any way you want but it will still be a 2 carat diamond - know what I mean?

 

[lulu_ma]

I live in a very small town so I don't usually wear my big ring to school pick up. But I have no problem wearing it to Target or the grocery store. And my style is very casual!

 

[MountainJuls]

Just thought I could be helpful in discussing bezels as my ER (3.48ct OEC) is in a YG bezel but used to be in a 6-prong solitaire setting.

There are pros and cons to the bezel. For me, the bezel is great for my accident-prone and lazy lifestyle. I also feel like it looks less “engagementy” and I don’t get as many people asking me about the diamond but more about the setting.

On the downside - and to be honest this is something that I’ve noticed but can’t quantify it - I feel like the bezel has reduced the fire of the diamond. It still has great performance but I can’t seem to capture the same performance as it did when it was set high in a WG solitaire. I’ve read on PS that bezeling (v different to embezzling ) shouldn’t make a difference but… I don’t know

As for a WG bezel in a YG shank, I tried on a bezeled pear like this recently. Personally I prefer the setting to be all YG or all WG for continuity but that’s just my preference! I mix YG and RG on a daily basis but that’s because I haven’t rebuilt my collection to have any WG yet

I love your avatar diamonds! That pear isn't too shabby either! I appreciate your thoughts about pros and cons to bezels. One thing I have noticed about bezels it that the bezel metal provides a visual stop to the diamond, more so than prongs or air. Idk why maybe it's just my eyes. I am like you though, and need a bezel to compensate for my doppy tendencies.

I am not sure if a MRB is supposed to behave similarly in a bezel to an OEC, but I am mostly set on using platinum for at least the bezel, so would better blend with the diamond. Thanks!

 

[MountainJuls]

I have different jewellery wardrobes to suit the occasions.

The 1.19ct EC in an air gap halo only comes out for dressier occasions, and the day to day is a 0.47ct EC in a plain band.

The 0.86ct OEC that I purchased recently will also be simply set in a Gypsy setting as an alternative day to day ring to the small EC.

I dislike matchy matchy jewellery, and mix and match all the time; sometimes mixing real with costume pieces.

I am rough on my hands and do not like to wear jewellery that sit high on my fingers. Hence the bigger and taller rings only come out when I am unlikely to cause any damage at genteel events.

Likewise for the nicer bracelets and bangle. I wear costume bracelets on a day to day basis so that I don't have to baby them.

To me personally, blings are like wardrobes - different ones to suit different occasions/setting/etc...

I even have a mourning one when I have to dress head to toe in black, consisting of pieces in white metals, white diamonds and pearls, and no CSs or coloured diamonds, and no yellow/rose gold. Can't remember where I got this from though.

DK

I don't have any more jewelry to wear besides what I've listed. I'm not counting a sentimental ring passed from my DH grandmother and my original mall quality wedding set which is damaged. I do admire you and others who have different sets, but I'm just not there yet. But I do like the idea that you've got different sets of jewelry to wear depending on the occasion.

 

[MountainJuls]

You will age and grow to know that it really doesn’t matter what others think. They will think what they want regardless. Don’t let other people define your comfort level for you. Even if they think the worst, it will just be a passing thought. I wouldn’t rearrange my life to suit them unless YOU are uncomfortable wearing these items. You can reset a 2 carat diamond any way you want but it will still be a 2 carat diamond - know what I mean?

Thanks, I agree to not base my life on what others may think of me. There's a story about a man crossing a bridge with a donkey I seem to remember about that. Since I do need to get my diamond out of its temp setting, I need to work through what I will feel most comfortable in and what will suit my life.

 

[MountainJuls]

I live in a very small town so I don't usually wear my big ring to school pick up. But I have no problem wearing it to Target or the grocery store. And my style is very casual!

If I ran into you at Target, I wouldn't be able to stop staring at your hand!

 

[lulu_ma]

If I ran into you at Target, I wouldn't be able to stop staring at your hand!

Aww-thanks! Honestly, I’m the dork you might catch trying to take a video in a hidden aisle

 

[monarch64]

You can always try moving to an area that's more competitive with people wearing lots more jewelry!

But seriously, I bought a piece this year that there's definitely a time and place for and it isn't at Target--it's a diamond cocktail/dinner ring and it's a little over-the-top for my lifestyle (mostly). But I loved it when I saw it and had to have it, so I bought it and now I wear it around the house sometimes just enjoying it all to myself. There are a few restaurants here in my city with dim lighting and lovely wine lists that I will wear it to, so it won't be lonesome for long.

People who insist on needing to know why you're dressed up or why you're wearing whatever jewelry you have on need to shut their pie holes. Tell them you're on the way to an orgy where only jewels are allowed to be worn. That'll leave them with something to talk about.

 

[Daisys and Diamonds]

I like in Hicksville, and wear my 4.56 ct ER, 1.3 ct half eternity band, 2.12 ct RHR, 3.5ct. diamonds hoops, 2.25 ct diamond bracelet and .75 ct pendant down to Home Depot and the supermarket

people wear gumboots to go shopping here
how much more casual can one get !


@MountainJuls years ago (and i have no interest in clothes and am always too casual or too formal for every situation) i read Nina Garcia say always dress like you are going somewhere better afterwards

my mum and grandma always dressed up to go to town and put on their best jewlery but im always scared of lossing something
im a yellow gold girl but i also love silver so im learning to mix and match for that take me anywhere look

just rememebr they are your fingers, your ears, wrists and neck to adorn how ever you want, wear what you want to
the more you do the more you will get used to seeing you how you want to see you and your jewlery
life these days is more anything goes than any other time in history

edited to say
however etiquette dicates save the tiara for white tie affairs only