Anyone else hate this phrase?

[bubbly1126]

We don''t have all of our "ducks in a row" yet.

Ahhh!!!

Another one of our mutual friends got engaged... Of course, he notices that I''m happy but disappointed that we''re not yet... and that is what he says.

Begin VENT: I''m beginning to hate the phrase w/ a passion!

And let me add that they (the other couple) are in the SAME position as we are... so I told him, please tell me how they have theirs lined up and we don''t? Wouldn''t you know, he couldn''t answer me! And ya know, maybe we don''t have them lined up in the right order but in my opinion, they ARE in a row and lined up nicely and just b/c it''s not exactly how HE wants it, it can''t be now. GRRR!!!

I should add that I do know that everyone has their own view on when/how their ducks are lined up and if it''s right for them but come on, *to me* it''s just excuses now.

I wish I knew exactly how he was thinks so that I would understand his plan and be happy with the wait. But I''m impatient and don''t understand his thinking... so therefore, I''m stuck waiting and I''m not happy about it. End VENT.

Ahh, I feel much better. I just needed to say that! Haha.

 

[TheNextMrsB]

Ooh I hate that phrase. I don''t know about you, but that is the LAST thing I want to hear while I wait for a proposal. My FF and I also have differing views about what "having our ducks in a row" would even mean. It is SO frustrating.

FF actually said I should write a book for men about what they should say/do at each stage of the relationship because they''re so clueless.

 

[purrfectpear]

Tell him if those ducks don''t line up ASAP, you''ll be "cooking his goose"

 

[bubbly1126]

Haha! See I don''t think quick enough to come up with stuff like that! I''m definitely telling him that!

I have since talked to him about the ducks in a row and he said he didn''t mean it the way it came out. He said that we have our ducks in a row but they are kind of "staggered" or something along those lines. What a butthead. Seriously.

 

[SailorsSweet<3]

I think every couple has different views about what having their "ducks in a row" means. I know some of my priorities don''t match up with my FF''s. Maybe its for our own good? Maybe we''ll appreciate what these men have organized for our future lives when we finally start living them? Who knows... slap me if thats too optimistic.

Sure, we may have to wait extra long for that engagement. AND yes its VERY frustrating when couples who seem to have their ducks flying all over the place take a leap to their engagements. I hope that in hindsight putting in extra time on this side of the relationship will allow us to enjoy the other side more thoroughly.

 

[bubbly1126]

SailorsSweet<3, I think you will be a huge asset to this board! I LOVE your optimism!

I am sure he has very good reason for waiting as long as he is... I am just so very impatient... and I don''t know how to just relax! Ahh. Sooner or later I will learn. As least, I hope! haha.

 

[Keepingthefaith21]

YEs, it is frustrating to wait for things to seem "perfect".

However, having watched many couples who''s ducks were across, up and down the street plunge into an engagement, I can tell you that it is not the best way to start out your lives together. Most of these eagar beavers got engaged while they were still figuring out how to survive in the world - adapting to more demanding job positions, general growing pains and struggling to pay down debt while still making progress towards a solid financial future. It''s daunting to tackle those things in life. To try and juggle all that while planning a wedding and adapting to marriage is a LOT to digest. My FI and I waited a very long time to get engaged because we too felt we needed to have a solid foundation to build upon. While I did have my moments of "honestly, just get it over with" in hindsight I am very happy with the path we took and would never change it. Having our lives at the point where we feel 100% comfortable getting married is making the entire process even more enjoyable. Neither party feels pressured or uncertain if we are really ready and neither of us feels overwhelmed by our decision.

Waiting until you are at a stable plateau is not a bad thing even if it is frustrating. It shows that your man has a very solid idea that getting married is more than a party and some bling: it''s a commitment to care for each other for the rest of your lives. I''d take a stable partner over a hurried engagement any day. Remember, it''s not a race. Just because all your friends are getting engaged may make you feel left out but I promise you - when you start to see some of the difficulties these couples may face you will be happy you waited unti all your ducks were marching in unison!

 

[absolut_blonde]

Date: 9/14/2008 9:02:06 PM
Author: SailorsSweet<3
I think every couple has different views about what having their ''ducks in a row'' means. I know some of my priorities don''t match up with my FF''s. Maybe its for our own good? Maybe we''ll appreciate what these men have organized for our future lives when we finally start living them? Who knows... slap me if thats too optimistic.

Sure, we may have to wait extra long for that engagement. AND yes its VERY frustrating when couples who seem to have their ducks flying all over the place take a leap to their engagements. I hope that in hindsight putting in extra time on this side of the relationship will allow us to enjoy the other side more thoroughly.

Ditto this. Except, I do live with SO already.

I''ll admit, I''ve had my moments where I''m annoyed with SO''s insistence that the ducks be lined up. LOL. But in my heart, I know his intentions are in the right place. I appreciate the intent behind it, even if I get impatient at times.

 

[Lauren8211]

I totally LOL''ed at your post! I HATE that phrase! HATE HATE HATE!

My ex boyfriend in high school''s mom used it all the time, and it seriously annoyed me!

I know it''s hard to hear from FF that you are (he is) not ready, but I imagine he is just trying to make your marriage foundation solid.

Just try and appreciate that he wants everything to be perfect for when you guys finally do get engaged!

Stay positive!!

 

[jcarlylew]

i hate it too. honestly, why do the ducks need to be in a row??? my boyf tried to use that.. ONCE.

the other phrase i hate (in regards of LIW)

"i know what you''re thinking...that i am reconsidering this whole marriage thing...by wanting to take longer" dont tell me what i am thinking!!! (even though its true!)

 

[bubbly1126]

Elle, I agree. He is just trying to make sure that our future is built on a solid foundation. And I truly am very appreciative of that. I just lack patience, always have, and it''s so hard to muster up any when you just want it so bad! haha. But I''m trying. I''m hanging in there. I know it''ll be well worth it in the long run!

jcarlylew, haha!! BF does that same to me! And it annoys me as well. And if they ''know'' that that is what we''re thinking then why do they insist on still holding off on the proposal!?!?! You''d think they would want to make us happy so we don''t have such thoughts as those. Doesn''t make sense to me. But who am I anyway? A crazy LIW, that''s what! hehe.

 

[vita*dolce]

LOL!! purrfect, your comment is hilarious! i definitely think we will all be able to get a little bit of use out of it!!

in your boyfriend''s defense though, having ducks in a row is probably a good thing!! better to have your finances in order before you make this legal commitment, especially while the economy is in the toilet!! the silver lining is that you have a man who wants to make sure you''re both comfortable!!