Anyone get mean comments?

[Lorelei]

I know exactly where you are coming from and I feel your pain- the one person who should be happy for you criticises your choice. I was in the same situation, if you think about it you might be able to pinpoint other situations where she has behaved in a similar negative fashion. This was the case with me, through the years and much pain and soul searching I realized that the problem was jealousy, I had a lot of unkind remarks made with various things over the years and learned not to let it bother me. It took a long time. You have to do what pleases YOU and I know it hurts if she can't be excited for you, but it is her problem and her loss. Try not to let it worry you if you can, your ring sounds FABULOUS and there is no way an H is yellow

you know that so try not to take any notice. I could go on and on about my experiences, I won't because it isn't helpful, only that I have learned that jealousy can come from people you least expect, it can often override manners, wisom and tact. Congratulations and continue to do what makes YOU BOTH HAPPY. I think the thing is with her that depending on how she feels at the time, she is either happy for you or her jealousy gets the better of her. If I had a daughter who had got engaged, she could have the worst, ugliest chunk of frozen spit and I would still act as if it were the crown jewels, but maybe their are some conflicting emotions with her, maybe she is very sad that she is "losing her baby" with you getting engaged and makes these remarks to try to have a say in matters where you have grown beyond her. However this is no excuse. This is a rambly sort of post, but I hope it lets you know that others have been there and may help a little

 

[Caribou]

Date: 11/28/2005 7:57:28 AM
Author: princessv
Blah just had to share my experience even though I''ve only been enaged for 5 days...my mom yes thats right my mom has said that my diamond looks ''a little yellow'' well actually the first thing she said was ''is that fake? are you sure its real?'' followed by ''I think there is too much going on in the middle of the diamond'' and the yellow comment. Several times. I got SOOOOOO incredibly annoyed because an H color is NOT yellow and its really well cut AND it hurt my FI''s feelings. I don''t know why she acts happy and then she''s said its a real sparkler and then she says she likes it and then these comments?

Oh my

I would have told my mom off. My mom has a tendancy to put a negative spin on things. She''s done it with my current BF even though he''s a great perfect BF. I decided after that comment that I''m not going to keep quiet about things. Next negative comment she makes she better watch out.

Saying that I don''t know that she realizes what she''s saying and how it''s coming across..hopefully it''s the same with your mom.

 

[larussel03]

Date: 11/28/2005 7:57:28 AM
Author: princessv
Blah just had to share my experience even though I''ve only been enaged for 5 days...my mom yes thats right my mom has said that my diamond looks ''a little yellow'' well actually the first thing she said was ''is that fake? are you sure its real?'' followed by ''I think there is too much going on in the middle of the diamond'' and the yellow comment. Several times. I got SOOOOOO incredibly annoyed because an H color is NOT yellow and its really well cut AND it hurt my FI''s feelings. I don''t know why she acts happy and then she''s said its a real sparkler and then she says she likes it and then these comments?

wow that is harsh

...it''s amazing how you can be so happy one minute and then someone sees that you''re so happy yet STILL has to say something negative to kinda bring you back down. I have a couple jealous friends and I''m almost afraid of what they''ll say that will end up hurting my feelings when I get engaged--they''d better not say anything though b/c as well as i can take it, I can dish it right back if Im pushed and it wont be perdy.

 

[Madam Bijoux]

Many mothers believe that no men are good enough for their daughters and many fathers believe that no women are good enough for their sons.

 

[monarch64]

Isn''t it funny that of all people, your own mother can really deflate you! My mom did not say ONE word about my ring when I first went home and showed it to her. My dad did a big fake "wow" at the table in front of my fiance, brother, mother and sister-in-law. They didn''t know my now husband very well then (I''d only been with him for 10 months), and they are from a small town where diamonds are not considered a big deal, in fact, my mother doesn''t even own an engagement ring, she just wears a really wide gold band that I''ve been coveting for years, ha ha...I think they were a little like, who is this guy coming in, taking over our only daughter, and putting some outrageous rock on her hand. (ok, it''s not that outrageous in my mind, but I think to them 1.5 carats was a little much given the fact that they just don''t see the point.) It hurt me a lot when it happened, but when we got married and they knew him better, they were both very happy for us and my mother did compliment me on how nice my rings were. I agree that some parents have a very hard time letting go of their children and some definitely have the attitude that no one is good enough for their baby.

 

[canuk-gal]

bump

Hi:

I know this is an old thread but just when you think you''ve heard everything...................

Yesterday, I am standing in the cash/out line in a large dept. store I frequent, and behind me is a pair of girls, one of whom was quite vocal and talking loud enough that everyone could hear about her business and opinions. As I am nearing the front of the line, I hear--"OH and the person with the diamond as big as her hand, well it is FAKE".

I''m thinking, WTH, was that meant for me? I was a bit stunned and when I turned around, I saw the face the speakers partner, which was bright red and her hand covering her mouth.......fortunately I was ABLE to keep MY mouth shut......

I told my DH at dinner and he burst out laughing....now it is the comment du jour.......

cheers--Sharon (with my fakey mcfakerton in hand)

 

[Dee*Jay]

My response to that would have to be: Well, my husband, my jeweler, my appraiser, and my insurance company will be most interested in learning that. Here''s the phone--you can call them in any order you prefer.

 

[Rod]

I was in the mall the other day and walking past Bond Jewelers and there was this man handing out brochures and speaking with a customer at the same time. I reached for the brochure with my ring hand and he grabs my hand and says that's an awfully white rock you have there. Then shows the ring to the customer and says...."this is obviously Moisanite or Cubic Zirconia because it's just too clear, too white and too perfect." I wasn't in a good mood, but I did manage to say the following......"just because you are accustomed to selling lower quality diamonds that are heavily occluded, doesn't mean everyone wears crap on their fingers!" I accepted the brochure with a smile and walked away.

 

[Lorelei]

Date: 9/18/2006 11:58:31 AM
Author: Rod

I was in the mall the other day and walking past Bond Jewelers and there was this man handing out brochures and speaking with a customer at the same time. I reached for the brochure with my ring hand and he grabs my hand and says that''s an awfully white rock you have there. Then shows the ring to the customer and says....''this is obviously Moisanite or Cubic Zirconia because it''s just too clear, too white and too perfect.'' I wasn''t in a good mood, but I did manage to say the following......''just because you are accustomed to selling lower quality diamonds that are heavily occluded, doesn''t mean everyone wears crap on their fingers!'' I accepted the brochure with a smile and walked away.

Good for you Rod - how bloody rude and ignorant

 

[decodelighted]

Hey ... does it bother anyone that MOST diamonds are so yicky that "good" ones look "fake" to a lot of people.

I think that''s my main concern with over 2ct stones .. when I see them, even I kinda think they might be fake. Probably because of the QVC-ing of America. All their fakies they sell are over 2 carats, sometiems three & five ... so I *KNOW* a lot of people are wearing those around. Mentally I just say "QVC" if I see something flashy.

Weelllll -- it probably depends on how someone looks OTHERWISE too. And WHERE I am. In San Fran, Manhattan, Wash DC ... I think less like that ... but other places in America (including my own corner of upstateish NY) ... I think "QVC" all the time!

I guess bottom line, if I had a three carat HONKER (ummmm Widget-y) I wouldn''t care what random strangers thought about it.

 

[canuk-gal]

Date: 9/18/2006 12:18:30 PM
Author: decodelighted
I guess bottom line, if I had a three carat HONKER (ummmm Widget-y) I wouldn''t care what random strangers thought about it.

HI:

Lucikly I don''t, but I cannot deny thinking her comment was very rude. Imagine if we all verbalized every thought that came into our heads?

At least the girl in line was right about one thing--my ring does cover my hand!

cheers--Sharon

 

[Ellen]

Date: 9/18/2006 11:21:15 AM
Author: canuk-gal
bump

Hi:

I know this is an old thread but just when you think you''ve heard everything...................

Yesterday, I am standing in the cash/out line in a large dept. store I frequent, and behind me is a pair of girls, one of whom was quite vocal and talking loud enough that everyone could hear about her business and opinions. As I am nearing the front of the line, I hear--''OH and the person with the diamond as big as her hand, well it is FAKE''.

I''m thinking, WTH, was that meant for me? I was a bit stunned and when I turned around, I saw the face the speakers partner, which was bright red and her hand covering her mouth.......fortunately I was ABLE to keep MY mouth shut......

I told my DH at dinner and he burst out laughing....now it is the comment du jour.......

cheers--Sharon (with my fakey mcfakerton in hand)

I would have just smiled, you know, like a Mona Lisa smile...

Rod, GREAT response!

 

[Rod]

Date: 9/18/2006 12:18:30 PM
Author: decodelighted
Hey ... does it bother anyone that MOST diamonds are so yicky that 'good' ones look 'fake' to a lot of people.

I think that's my main concern with over 2ct stones .. when I see them, even I kinda think they might be fake. Probably because of the QVC-ing of America. All their fakies they sell are over 2 carats, sometiems three & five ... so I *KNOW* a lot of people are wearing those around. Mentally I just say 'QVC' if I see something flashy.

Weelllll -- it probably depends on how someone looks OTHERWISE too. And WHERE I am. In San Fran, Manhattan, Wash DC ... I think less like that ... but other places in America (including my own corner of upstateish NY) ... I think 'QVC' all the time!

I guess bottom line, if I had a three carat HONKER (ummmm Widget-y) I wouldn't care what random strangers thought about it.

Funny you should mention that. Even moi, mr., doesn't discriminate against anyone period, has had thoughts like that. I was at the mall (I know, like you must think I live there, but it's close to my office and one of the more convenient places to get lunch) and the lady in from of me had all this bling. The diamond on her left hand had to be well over 3 carats. Plus she was sporting a RHR with a huge 3 stone ring (Debeers would love her). Then there were these honking 2+ carat earrings, a tennis bracelet with at least 6 carats PLUS a fabulous necklace of graduated diamonds of I can't even guess how many carats. And my first thought was.......man.....that can't all be real. But this food court is at the mall of the "Beautiful" people and she was young, but coifed to the max, so I'm sure her bling was all quite real and quite spectactular. But it was easy to think for just a moment, can't be real..........

 

[Eva17]

Unless it is someone I know well, when I get comments on my ring or asked if it is real, I say no it''s not real. Could you imagine if it was!!!!

 

[Miranda]

Date: 9/18/2006 2:11:58 PM
Author: Eva17
Unless it is someone I know well, when I get comments on my ring or asked if it is real, I say no it''s not real. Could you imagine if it was!!!!

LOL! That''s good!

 

[asscherisme]

Rod, that guy was doubly ingnorant. Assuming your diamonds were fake because they are so white AND putting moissanite and cz in the same class. I have seen moisannite and it is NOT white. Its a yellow or green haze to it.

 

[devientdrow]

I''ve never gotten a mean comment but I did get some attitudes that made me feel just as bad. My original ering from like 2 years ago had a really really bad diamond in it. It was a .25ct, deep cut, J/K, I3. We got the whole ring, that stone and a plat setting for $500. We were poor

So a year and a half after that ring we got married and then for the first Christmas after our wedding we upgraded the stone. We got am Ideal cut .83ct, G, SI2 from James Allen for a little over 2k. So my hubby gave it to me on Christmas Eve and I wore it to my family get together. So we have my mom and all my aunts who mostly just wear plain wedding bands. Not jewelry people. Then we have my one cousin who has about a 2.5ct stone thats been upgraded and my other cousin who got a whole new ring for her christmas present. That was about 10k from a mall store. Now granted they both have been married longer than me but everyone gave me sooo much flak for having a new stone in my ring. They, including my mom, would grab my hand and say "Is that a new stone? Why did you change it so soon? You''ve only been married a few months." Or "Aren''t you saving for a house?" First off....the ring was under 1ct not like we bought some huge extravagant stone. Secondly my husband saved for the stone and we took nothing out of our savings for it. Thirdly even with the cost of the new stone and the original ring we spent less than most of our friends have spent on their erings. Under 3k. However I find myself even with some of my friends having to defend my stone!

 

[Rod]

Date: 9/18/2006 3:11:17 PM
Author: asscherisme
Rod, that guy was doubly ingnorant. Assuming your diamonds were fake because they are so white AND putting moissanite and cz in the same class. I have seen moisannite and it is NOT white. Its a yellow or green haze to it.

He so reminded me of (please no offense to anyone who might be........) a used car salesman. He was greasy looking and reeeked of cigarettes. My original thought when he waved the brochure at me in the first place was to just continue walking, but I can''t resist looking at pictures of bling and sometimes the photography in these brochures isn''t too bad, so I made the mistake...........

I''m not sure I''ve ever actually looked at moisannite in person. There is a store in another mall that sells it, but this mall also has Bailey Banks and Biddle, Mayors and Tiffany, so I wind up checking out real bling instead.

 

[Cehrabehra]

I have a friend here, P, who has always gone on and on about her twelve thousand dollar marquise and how awesome it is etc. I think she overpaid - it''s about 1 carat and probably close to flawless and D but it doesn''t do much... anyway she''s bragged about it for years since I''ve known her. Well when my hub told me it was time (FINALLY) this june I swore I wasn''t going to say anything to her but yanno, I thought well maybe I can learn something from her about the process of buying her ring... I''d been reading PS for about 3 weeks maybe so I knew cut was paramount. I started a convo about cut and she cut me off and said cuts were fads and it was all about color and clarity. Needless to say about 3 months have passed and I have yet to talk to her about it again and it''s TOTALLY unlike her that she hasn''t brought it up with me. I''ve avoided seeing her since I got the diamond and haven''t mentioned it to her. And I''m already thinking ahead of when she sees it for the first time and whether I should not wear it or just pretend it doesn''t exist or something. Because on the one hand she''s going to go off on it being so big and wasteful, and out the other side of her mouth she''s going to talk about how YELLOW it is or how weird the cut is. Like yellow is something to be ashamed of LOL But in her head it is - she''s so old school. So no, there was no congrats or how is it going or anything like that... and I plan to hide it from her as long as possible. I kinda want to hide it from everyone. I feel like it''s my secret joy, my secret toy, my extravagant bauble. I can''t imagine flaunting it. At least not yet LOL

 

[Cehrabehra]

Date: 9/18/2006 11:58:31 AM
Author: Rod

I was in the mall the other day and walking past Bond Jewelers and there was this man handing out brochures and speaking with a customer at the same time. I reached for the brochure with my ring hand and he grabs my hand and says that''s an awfully white rock you have there. Then shows the ring to the customer and says....''this is obviously Moisanite or Cubic Zirconia because it''s just too clear, too white and too perfect.'' I wasn''t in a good mood, but I did manage to say the following......''just because you are accustomed to selling lower quality diamonds that are heavily occluded, doesn''t mean everyone wears crap on their fingers!'' I accepted the brochure with a smile and walked away.

ugggghhhhhhh moisanite is SO not white! it''s like this weird drab green color!!!

yesterday I got SO many nice comments on my stone about how wonderfully unique and how sparkly and even brilliant it was for the type of cut and many comments about how perfect the cut/sym/pol is and even an ex GIA grader who said that this was a very high VS2, almost vs1 - all made my day... and yet that snot with the ugly included cushion and her "if it was a properly cut cushion it would look like this" comment *still* is a thorn in my side. I''m sorry lady but my mutt can do tricks you couldn''t believe so take your table included cookie cutter cushion and *bleep* lol (that''s all bravado - it still stings... and I have no clue how I''ll react to the "fake" comments.

 

[Cehrabehra]

Date: 9/18/2006 12:18:30 PM
Author: decodelighted
Hey ... does it bother anyone that MOST diamonds are so yicky that ''good'' ones look ''fake'' to a lot of people.

I think that''s my main concern with over 2ct stones .. when I see them, even I kinda think they might be fake. Probably because of the QVC-ing of America. All their fakies they sell are over 2 carats, sometiems three & five ... so I *KNOW* a lot of people are wearing those around. Mentally I just say ''QVC'' if I see something flashy.

Weelllll -- it probably depends on how someone looks OTHERWISE too. And WHERE I am. In San Fran, Manhattan, Wash DC ... I think less like that ... but other places in America (including my own corner of upstateish NY) ... I think ''QVC'' all the time!

I guess bottom line, if I had a three carat HONKER (ummmm Widget-y) I wouldn''t care what random strangers thought about it.

since I''m having my ring custom done I''m adding some really unusual elements to it (gonna surprise you guys with them lol) so I don''t think anyone will be able to claim my ring is a total fake, but I suppose I could put a big fake diamond in a custom metal job... though I don''t know if they make fake long yellowish OMCs ROFLMAO!!!

 

[kcoursolle]

Date: 9/18/2006 6:44:23 PM
Author: Cehrabehra
I have a friend here, P, who has always gone on and on about her twelve thousand dollar marquise and how awesome it is etc. I think she overpaid - it''s about 1 carat and probably close to flawless and D but it doesn''t do much... anyway she''s bragged about it for years since I''ve known her. Well when my hub told me it was time (FINALLY) this june I swore I wasn''t going to say anything to her but yanno, I thought well maybe I can learn something from her about the process of buying her ring... I''d been reading PS for about 3 weeks maybe so I knew cut was paramount. I started a convo about cut and she cut me off and said cuts were fads and it was all about color and clarity. Needless to say about 3 months have passed and I have yet to talk to her about it again and it''s TOTALLY unlike her that she hasn''t brought it up with me. I''ve avoided seeing her since I got the diamond and haven''t mentioned it to her. And I''m already thinking ahead of when she sees it for the first time and whether I should not wear it or just pretend it doesn''t exist or something. Because on the one hand she''s going to go off on it being so big and wasteful, and out the other side of her mouth she''s going to talk about how YELLOW it is or how weird the cut is. Like yellow is something to be ashamed of LOL But in her head it is - she''s so old school. So no, there was no congrats or how is it going or anything like that... and I plan to hide it from her as long as possible. I kinda want to hide it from everyone. I feel like it''s my secret joy, my secret toy, my extravagant bauble. I can''t imagine flaunting it. At least not yet LOL

People who don''t know much about diamonds always think that "cut" means type of cut...not quality of cut! This drives me bonkers!! I hate going to a jewelry store and asking about the cut and they tell me..."We have rounds, princess, radiant, heart, blah blah blah." Biggest pet peave, but I honestly believe that the MAJORITY of people focus only on carat weight, color, clarity, and type of cut...they never even think about quality of cut, ARG.

 

[gailrmv]

Date: 11/22/2005 11:44:27 AM
Author: FireGoddess
Sounds like you''ve got some frenemies. A true friend would be happy for you. Jealousy happens to everyone - one of my friends had a gorgeous 3 stone ring with a 1.5 ct center and 0.5 ct sidestones back when I had my 0.75 ct ring. Did I want it? Sure did! Was I a little jealous? Sure was! But was I nothing but happy for her? Of course. Because even though we may like or want things other people have, a true friend is happy for you above all else, and doesn''t let the green eyed monster allow her to be a rude jerk.

This is very good advice... most likely they are jealous but especially from your close friend.... no excuse!

 

[gailrmv]

Date: 11/22/2005 3:33:51 PM
Author: decodelighted
I''ve kinda decided that if ANYONE has the gall to ask how big my e-ring stone is, that I will not answer directly. I plan to respond more generally, with how I feel about the ring. i.e.


Jerk - ''How many carats is that'' - OR - ''How big is that?''

Me - ''The perfect size for my hand. I''m thrilled!''





this is the perfect reply. I''ve had trouble knowing what to say. If it''s someone asking to be petty, I try to be coy, but if it''s someone asking cuz they are ring shopping, I always end up telling all the details!

 

[gailrmv]

DUH just realized this is a bumped thread. A good one!

 

[Cehrabehra]

Date: 9/18/2006 8:23:18 PM
Author: gailrmv

Date: 11/22/2005 3:33:51 PM
Author: decodelighted
I''ve kinda decided that if ANYONE has the gall to ask how big my e-ring stone is, that I will not answer directly. I plan to respond more generally, with how I feel about the ring. i.e.


Jerk - ''How many carats is that'' - OR - ''How big is that?''

Me - ''The perfect size for my hand. I''m thrilled!''





this is the perfect reply. I''ve had trouble knowing what to say. If it''s someone asking to be petty, I try to be coy, but if it''s someone asking cuz they are ring shopping, I always end up telling all the details!

LOL! I swear I hadn''t read this when I posted the other thread! lol

 

[diamondfan]

i have had people stare at my ring, ask me how big it is and then say, "Why do you need a stone that size?" or "I would never wear a stone that size" etc. I usually say nothing, but want to say, "Well, good thing it is MINE then and not YOURS." Some people are just rude, have no sense of what is right...whatever occurs to them they blurt it out immediately...just ignore them and consider the source is all I can say!

 

[ForteKitty]

I''ve gotten, "Why do you have so many rings? I hope you''re not as fickle about men!"

To which i respond, "Of course I am. I can''t imagine spending the rest of my life s%&*@ing just one guy. How boring!"

 

[Cehrabehra]

Date: 9/18/2006 11:25:51 PM
Author: ForteKitty
I''ve gotten, ''Why do you have so many rings? I hope you''re not as fickle about men!''

To which i respond, ''Of course I am. I can''t imagine spending the rest of my life s%&*@ing just one guy. How boring!''

bahahahahaha

 

[Cehrabehra]

Date: 9/18/2006 2:11:58 PM
Author: Eva17
Unless it is someone I know well, when I get comments on my ring or asked if it is real, I say no it''s not real. Could you imagine if it was!!!!

hehehe, that''s great! BTW I went and looked at the pics of your new ring and was LOLing "mom what are you doing?" omg I''ve heard that one lol and the shot of your dog with it on her head like "mom what are you doing?" too hehe I have a yellow lab too and that''s exactly the look she''d get like she was in trouble, ears back, what did I do to deserve this, can I move, can I move please huh can I move yet? hurry up!! lol!