Anyone got married before the DW?

[regalada]

Hi:

FI and I are contemplating getting married where we live before we head to our destination wedding in Puerto Rico.

If we were to do it, we would probably get married here in early April by justice of peace. That is almost two months before our May 21 wedding. I am not too keen on the idea because the ceremony we are planning in Puerto Rico is with a justice of peace, we are not having a religious ceremony or anything like that, so I feel we would have to basically "fake" the second ceremony.

Has anybody here done that? If so, did it feel strange to have the second ceremony?

Our only other choice is to move the wedding up to April, which I''d rather not do since it will put us in the peak season for travel arrangements. Plus I can''t even imagine not having those extra two months for planning

!

Any thoughts welcome!

 

[FireGoddess]

My BIL and SIL got married here in the states before their destination wedding in Greece. They did it because they could not get all the documents they needed in time that the Greek authorities required. So they got married by the JOTP here and then had the ceremony again in Greece. At first they didn''t want to do that, but when they realized it had to be done (or the Greeks wouldn''t perform their ceremony) it was no big deal. They still refer to their real wedding date as the one in Greece...I personally don''t see anything wrong with it, nor did the destination wedding seem "fake" at all.

 

[njc]

I had a co-woker do this. I will try and ask them a little about it.

For you, what is an element that would make each more memoriable and special for you? Could you get a friend to marry you in Puerto Rico or before the DW? I know you can get licenses fairly easily on the internet.

 

[saturn]

Just curious, why do you need to get married before the DW? I mean, it''s still part of the U.S., so if you were married there by a JOP it would still be legal, right?

 

[Tacori E-ring]

I know a couple who eloped in vegas a few months before their wedding for health insurance reasons.

 

[regalada]

Good morning.

FI and I are leaning towards getting married before the DW because of immigration and work issues. In case things take longer to process, we want to give ourselves a bigger window than the one a late May wedding would give us.

The wedding in Puerto Rico would be legal here of course.

Right now we would have to enlist the help of my maid of honor, who works with judges, to get one of her friends to "re-marry" us.

Thanks for your comments.

 

[sarita]

It looks like my fiance and I will be doing this also. We are planning a short 3 night cruise/DW with the wedding to take place at one of the stops in the Bahamas. If we don''t make it official before we go than we would have to spend probably at least half of one day filing the paperwork and doing the legal stuff which we wouldn''t want to cut into our trip (not to mention the extra cost). At first I didn''t really like the idea but it seems sensible. I''m not sure about doing it 2 months beforehand, though. That I''d probably not like so much either.

Best of luck whatever you do! I don''t think it will take any of the shine away from your big day.

 

[regalada]

Well, Miss Manners addressed my dilemma on her column this week. Did not make me feel any better

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/01/28/AR2006012800896.html

 

[selflove]

I haven''t looked at your miss manners article yet.
However, wanted to share our plans. We are having a second ceremony 1 week after the first ceremony. FI''s preference to go back to his home country and have another wedding there for HIS friends and family was to do it as soon as possible. He didn''t want to wait more than 3-4 weeks after the first wedding. I can understand not wanting to wait two months.

Sarita--That is the CUTEST avatar!!!!! I love that kitten!

 

[selflove]

I wouldn''t let that miss manners article bring you down. People have all kinds of good reasons for having two weddings and your''s are very legitimate. They do this all the time in countries where a civil and a religious ceremony are done, often days or weeks apart.