anyone have a wedding with just immediate family...

[dec2410]

hellooo ladies!!

anyone have or been to a wedding with just immediate family present? how was it?

i've been so torn about what to do. i can't chose between having a wedding with just immediate family or to have a wedding roughly 30 (best friends and family) or 60 (closest friends and family).

i was never that girl who dreamed of her wedding day since she was a little girl. i still don't have any gut feelings either way. i've been to 40 weddings in the last 3 years so i'm pretty wedding-ed out and don't care to plan one of my own. i always said, "the more weddings i go to, the less i want one of my own."

i feel like have a wedding with friends (30 or 60), would be more to make everyone else happy. my FI would like to have just immediate family there. he keeps telling me to do what makes me happy, but i don't know what that is! some days, i just want to have immediate family there then i think about not having my best friends there and think, i'll have a bigger wedding.

either way, i don't want the dancing and all the typical wedding stuff. i just want a simple lunch or dinner with people i love.

sigh. sorry about the rambling. the confusion is so much crazier in my head.

any ideas? any thoughts?

 

[diamondseeker2006]

Our daughter just got married and they (and we) wanted it to only be close family and close friends. That worked out to be over 150 in our case (from both sides), but they were surrounded by people they really loved on their wedding day! I think you should have the people there that you love, and the number will depend on whether it is important to you to have only immediate family or also your close friends.

 

[summerlove6]

I have always had an aversion to the pomp and circumstance of big weddings. Like you, I never had some childhood dream of a wedding. I simply wanted a celebration of the love that my now-husband and I share with the people that we love the most. However, I did think it would be strange to have no friends there to share the love & memories with as well.

I had several dilemmas that made it better for me to invite only immediate family. My first was that my champagne taste didn't correlate to my beer budget!! It was a priority to me to have the reception at a small, upscale Italian restaurant in my town at which everyone could choose their appetizers, dinners, and drinks straight from their delicious regular menu (I'm not a fan of catered events). The second dilemma was, which friends would we feel obligated to invite, and who would we want to participate in the wedding party? Every time we suggested a close friend, it seemed like five other friends were just as special to us! Our list of people to invite grew exponentially. The same thing happened when we were attempting to identify who among our friends were important enough to involve in the ceremony as best man/maid of honor. All of this stressful decision making disappeared when we committed to inviting only 20 of my closest family members that included our parents, aunts and uncles, and a couple of cousins.

Because our guest list was so small, I was able to save a ton of money by doing all the favors, hor d'oeuvres, and decorations myself. We also were able to have the wedding on a gorgeous boat that we rented for a few hours. There was absolutely no drama over any wedding party. Everyone raved about their boat ride and their hot, delicious, made to order meals! To be honest, my best friend (my husband) was there with me, and I didn't really miss the presence of any of my other friends. The whole ordeal felt extremely intimate and I was relaxed and comfortable in front of my closest family members (I was just a little nervous about the vows!). Whichever you choose, you will enjoy your special day as long as you don't feel pressured to have the wedding that other people want or expect you to have. Good luck!

 

[Lauren8211]

My DH and I married in October 2009, and had a wedding of 35 people, including ourselves! We had our parents, and siblings, and our close friends. No aunts, uncles, cousins, etc. People were surprisingly supportive, as we told them we were keeping the wedding small to save money for a house.

It was our perfect wedding (I've never been one to want a HUGE wedding!) and we have zero regrets.

 

[amc80]

i always said, "the more weddings i go to, the less i want one of my own."

Funny, I've been saying this exact same thing for years. The only way I will have a wedding at all is if it's something unique. Not circus performers or anything, but not a church followed by ballroom/banquet hall sort of thing.

 

[parrot tulips]

My sister and her husband decided to get married in Vegas with immediate family only. It was AMAZING. Maybe it's because all the siblings are each others' best friends. Maybe it's because all the siblings' spouses get along so well. Maybe it's because all the parents & kids get along beautifully. Whatever it was, my sister made a gorgeous bride, the photographs were lovely, the food was delicious, and we all had more fun than you could imagine. It was definitely the right decision for the two of them.

I had a casual, smallish (80 person) wedding, but with all the traditional stuff (cake, flowers, dancing, etc.). We spent what we could afford, and didn't sweat the details (although I was pretty organized), so even planning was easy breezy. I loved my wedding, and it was definitely the right decision for my husband and I.

Our youngest sister and her fiance will be getting married in a country club setting with plated dinners and full open bar. They're very excited and planning a wedding that's very them (sophisticated, with a few unique touches thrown in). I'm certain that this route is the right decision for them.

Bottom line - sooner or later, you and your husband will figure out which decision makes BOTH of you the happiest, and I'm sure you'll look back fondly. Good luck!