anyone worried they''ll be a crying mess on wedding day?

[janinegirly]

this is more of a silly worry (planning''s been really smooth lately!)..

but i''m not usually an emotional person (very reserved and private) but at weddings i get a little choked up and overwhelmed by all the emotions. i don''t know where it comes from b/c otherwise i''m very steady and not an overly emotional person.

And now that my own wedding is coming up i''m worried i''lll lose it! Even when i just imagine it..i start to get tears in my eyes. especially thinking about saying the vows or my dad passing me over.
Now this is all fine and touching, but i don''t want to be bawling on my wedding day especially after hours of make up

! i guess i won''t be able to control it..anyone else worried? any tricks to be more composed? I''m fine with tears here and there...but it''s the bawling that i''m worried about..

 

[rainbowtrout]

Yep.

 

[Mandarine]

It can go either way with me.....but I''m not worried about it. I will just have someone bring some make-up just in case!

M~

 

[aljdewey]

I worried about this, and that''s odd for me considering I''m usually really steady, more analytical than emotional.

In the six weeks prior to my wedding (and for the two weeks after!), I got choked up CONSTANTLY. Final dress fitting, when my ring came in, when HIS ring came in, during my shower, any time I heard our first dance song playing, looking at my parents during the rehearsal dinner, blah blah blah. WATERWORKS! Wondered how I''d be able to keep it in check during the ceremony.

Oddly enough.......not even a hint of it during my wedding day! I woke up SO happy, so elated that it was finally my wedding day! Quite the opposite - I couldn''t stop BEAMING! Felt with a deep certainty that all of the experiences of my life had brought me to that moment.....exactly where I was supposed to be. Instead of struggling to keep myself from crying, I was struggling not to jump up and down with joy.

Two days after the wedding, watching hubby open champagne----weepy. Listening to beautiful Italian music at the Bellagio fountains....weepy. Go figure.

 

[So_happy]

I''m totally worried about this, too. I once cried at the preview to that movie, John Q. (the one with Denzel Washington)

. My FI looked over at me and in wonder said "Are you kidding?"

.

I''m just very emotional and I will try my best not to let it all go but if I do I do. I don''t know how to control it.

 

[Tacori E-ring]

I AM an emotional person and this was my biggest fears! DH and I saw each other before the ceremony for maybe 15 mins. I suggest this together for two reasons. 1. It was a great photo op and nice to actually SEE his reaction since our aisle was very, very long 2. It allowed all the nervous engery to release and I did drop a few tears then but was completely calm during the ceremony. He also surprised me and gave me a pair of earrings as a wedding present. He is very nice to me

If we hadn''t done it this way I porbably would have cried during the ceremony.

 

[Orangeman]

My fiance'' is super emotional....to the point where I''ve caught her tearing at well written episodes of the west wing! I completely expect her to cry, but at this point I''m mentally prepared for it. I''m just trying to figure out where we can stash some tissues for during the ceremony.

 

[snlee]

Nope, I didn't worry about being a crying mess on my wedding day...

Then it was my wedding day...I was walking down the aisle and suddenly got so emotional. Throughout the whole ceremony I was trying to keep myself composed, which was really hard to do seeing and hearing my mom and others cry. I did end up losing it for a bit. Oh well...it happens.

It was a very emotional day. I think it actually made our ceremony special and memorable. Someone said that you could really feel the love between us when we exchanged vows, which I thought was really sweet.

At least you guys are prepared if it does happen. I totally wasn't excepting it! Just bring some extra make up and tissue. I wouldn't worry about it though...if it happens, it happens.

 

[labbielove]

i am so worried about crying....
i am extremely emotional right now-
and i know when i see FI at the end of that (thankfully short) aisle I will be wanting to cry with joy

i''m also worried because it will be the first time all 6 of my sibs and 7 nieces and nephews have been together since my mom''s funeral a couple of months ago. I am still healing emotionally from the loss, so i''m worried that my ache for her will be especially prevalent on my wedding day.

although- she and i spoke about this- and although it''s a bit trite, she said to me "your mother will always be with you", so i think the night before my wedding i will have a quiet prayer with my sisters, and pray for the strength to KNOW she''s with me- and when she''s with me, i should feel joy, not sadness.....

 

[janinegirly]

awww labbie love, in your case i''m sure everyone will understand the emotion and you won''t be the only one.

i don''t know, maybe if i keep imagining the day moment for moment i won''t be so emotionally sensitive when the actual day rolls around? as in i''ll have cried it all out already? i just don''t want to be quivering lip, crying and shoulders shaking--that''s not how it is in the movies!
sigh, well at least i''m not alone

 

[zoebartlett]

I''m sort of worried. I hate showing emotion in public so it will be interesting to see what happens. I did start tearing up when I was listening to a few beginnings of father/daughter songs.

 

[ladyciel]

I really think all you can do is be prepared with tissues and/or hankercheif and makeup. I wouldn''t worry about it too much - if you DO cry nobody is going to think you odd or a nutsy basketcase, and some of the most touching wedding photos I''ve seen have been the bride fighting back or wiping away her tears. Whatever the case your happiness will be shining through, and that happy glow has the magic effect of keeping you looking beautiful, tears and all!

As for where to keep the tissues or hanky, I think I''ll probably tuck them into the ribbon of my bouquet. My guy always carries a cotton hankercheif, too, and since it''s likely HE''LL cry, I''m sure he''ll have his close at hand as well.

Not sure if I could call that backup, or not, since it''s probably spoken for....

 

[RoseAngel04]

Yes I''ve worried about it as well....I''m a pretty emotional person so I imagine that I will get teary eyed throughout the day...I just hope I''m not a complete and total mess.

There are other times when I think "nah, I''m not going to cry" but knowing how easily I tear up at movies, commercials, songs etc...I imagine I will cry. Time will tell...45 more days!!!

 

[ephemery1]

Date: 6/19/2007 1:52:27 PM
Author: aljdewey

Oddly enough.......not even a hint of it during my wedding day! I woke up SO happy, so elated that it was finally my wedding day! Quite the opposite - I couldn't stop BEAMING! Felt with a deep certainty that all of the experiences of my life had brought me to that moment.....exactly where I was supposed to be. Instead of struggling to keep myself from crying, I was struggling not to jump up and down with joy.

I'm usually a super emotional person about everything... the "cry at commercials" type.

So I wasn't overly worried about crying, because I assumed it was inevitable... I just stocked up on heavy-duty waterproof mascara (found a great one!) and hoped for the best.

And then... my experience was exactly the same as Alj's... from the minute I took my dad's arm to walk down that aisle, I was almost giddy with joy for the rest of the ceremony. The only truly weepy moment was when we were greeting people afterwards... I hugged the girl I used to babysit for (she's now in her 20s!), and saw the look on her face as she burst into tears, and I lost it.

She represented such a significant part of my teenage years, when I was sort of a "pretend grown-up"... and now all the sudden we were both real grown-ups. It felt like tangible proof of how far we've come since those days, almost without realizing it. Still, we were both laughing through the tears.

But other than that, it was just a purely joyful occasion, all the way through...

 

[ephemery1]

Date: 6/19/2007 4:32:02 PM
Author: labbielove

although- she and i spoke about this- and although it's a bit trite, she said to me 'your mother will always be with you', so i think the night before my wedding i will have a quiet prayer with my sisters, and pray for the strength to KNOW she's with me- and when she's with me, i should feel joy, not sadness.....

Awww, Labbie... I lost my grandmother a few years ago. She was the person closest to me in the whole world, and suddenly she was gone... I had no idea how to even exist without her. So a few weeks before my wedding, I was starting to get really upset... re-reading old emails and cards and poems from her and trying desperately to find some sort of message... I just needed so badly to feel her presence.

Then I was talking to my little brother about it online one night, about how hard it would be to not have her there... and he immediately wrote: "No, Sissy, you don't have to worry about that... she'll have the best seat in the house!"

And I realized that THAT was the message I was looking for... there is so much of her living on in myself and my brothers and cousins and family, that having them there and capable of saying such sweet comforting things, meant that she was there too.

I think that's probably what your mom meant, and it will feel so true when you are with your sisters that night... and you WILL feel that joy. So no worries... she'll have the best seat in the house, after all...

 

[anchor31]

Yes, I''m worried I''ll be a mess. I get chocked up just by thinking about the ceremony!

 

[labbielove]

Date: 6/19/2007 10:32:34 PM
Author: ephemery1

Date: 6/19/2007 4:32:02 PM

Author: labbielove

Then I was talking to my little brother about it online one night, about how hard it would be to not have her there... and he immediately wrote: ''No, Sissy, you don''t have to worry about that... she''ll have the best seat in the house!''

And I realized that THAT was the message I was looking for... there is so much of her living on in myself and my brothers and cousins and family, that having them there and capable of saying such sweet comforting things, meant that she was there too.


I think that''s probably what your mom meant, and it will feel so true when you are with your sisters that night... and you WILL feel that joy. So no worries... she''ll have the best seat in the house, after all...

Ephemery, thank you so much for sharing this with me- she will in fact have the best seat in the house- and you are right- when i look around me that day and feel the joy, she IS a part of it, because she''s a part of me. (Now, if I could get her to pull some strings to make the weather nice...)

 

[sumbride]

I''m hoping to have the same experience as Ephemery and AlJ. I''m a mess at other people''s weddings... boo-hooed at my best friend''s, but hoping I can hold it together for my own. We''ll see. And Ephem... what is this great waterproof mascara? Inquiring tear ducts want to know!

My grandmother is really sick right now (Stage 4 Ovarian Cancer) and I''m hoping she''ll be able to make it to my wedding. She really wants to be there, so I think that''s a part of her healing process. Still, at 86, there''s not much bounceback from stage 4, so I''ll tuck away the "best seat in the house" thought in case she can''t make it. Her diagnosis has been one of the hardest parts of wedding planning.

 

[Mandarine]

Date: 6/19/2007 2:11:34 PM
Author: Tacori E-ring
I AM an emotional person and this was my biggest fears! DH and I saw each other before the ceremony for maybe 15 mins. I suggest this together for two reasons. 1. It was a great photo op and nice to actually SEE his reaction since our aisle was very, very long 2. It allowed all the nervous engery to release and I did drop a few tears then but was completely calm during the ceremony. He also surprised me and gave me a pair of earrings as a wedding present. He is very nice to me

If we hadn''t done it this way I porbably would have cried during the ceremony.

We are doing this too, I think that will help also....and I don''t want to miss the cocktail hour taking pictures, so we are actually taking pictures before the ceremony (when the make-up is still intact! hehe)

M~

 

[KimberlyH]

I just assumed I''d cry but didn''t really care. I was a glowing, laughing ball of excitement until we started saying our vows, then I got choked up and she a few tears, but nothing dramatic. It was clear I was crying but my make up survived and off we went. It lasted all of 2 minutes and was truly NBD. We saw each other before the wedding too, I didn''t cry then but I''m really glad we did! Got all of our pictures done and really got to enjoy our evening.

 

[akw94]

I''m a little worried too. A few years ago, I went to a party for my grandmother and we were all standing and saying something on camera. I couldn''t even get my words out I was crying so much. It was so emotional and actually, very difficult. Now, I don''t really think it''ll be like that at the wedding but who knows. At one of my best friend''s, I cried at the rehearsal but no tears at the actual wedding. At my brother''s, I cried at the wedding.
But I am definitely one of those that cries at movies, at sad tv shows, tears up when thinking of various emotional events.
We''re also doing pics before too so that might help me stay relaxed.

 

[ImpatientOne]

I was a blubbering fool, lol! We were recently married on the beach in Kauai and it was a combo Hawaiian/Christian ceremony which started out with the minister blowing a conch shell. I started tear tear up at the first sound of the conch shell. When my dh started his vows, I was crying good. By the time we got to my vows, I could hardly speak and my voice was cracking/trembling! It was just me, dh, the minister and a witness, so I wasn''t too embarassed, lol! I was overcome with emotion! My dh rubbed the small of my back the entire time to try to soothe me

 

[snlee]

Date: 6/20/2007 9:22:07 AM
Author: Mandarine

Date: 6/19/2007 2:11:34 PM
Author: Tacori E-ring
I AM an emotional person and this was my biggest fears! DH and I saw each other before the ceremony for maybe 15 mins. I suggest this together for two reasons. 1. It was a great photo op and nice to actually SEE his reaction since our aisle was very, very long 2. It allowed all the nervous engery to release and I did drop a few tears then but was completely calm during the ceremony. He also surprised me and gave me a pair of earrings as a wedding present. He is very nice to me

If we hadn''t done it this way I porbably would have cried during the ceremony.

We are doing this too, I think that will help also....and I don''t want to miss the cocktail hour taking pictures, so we are actually taking pictures before the ceremony (when the make-up is still intact! hehe)

M~

This may help for some but it didn''t help for me. My husband and I saw each other before our ceremony for many hours (we had a tea ceremony and also took lots of bride and groom pictures). I didn''t cry then. But at the ceremony I was overcome with emotion. Even though I did cry, my makeup was fine.

 

[AmberWaves]

Okay, I am not really so sad thinking about marrying the FI, but it''s the part where my dad hands me over.... I am probably the hugest Daddy''s girl you will ever meet (I''m number 1 on his speed dial, and I hang out with him about 4 times a week) so this part just makes me cry already.

Hell, I even cried during one of those Engaged and Underage episodes. THAT''S how sad this is.

 

[ephemery1]

Date: 6/20/2007 8:58:42 AM
Author: sumbride
I'm hoping to have the same experience as Ephemery and AlJ. I'm a mess at other people's weddings... boo-hooed at my best friend's, but hoping I can hold it together for my own. We'll see. And Ephem... what is this great waterproof mascara? Inquiring tear ducts want to know!

My grandmother is really sick right now (Stage 4 Ovarian Cancer) and I'm hoping she'll be able to make it to my wedding. She really wants to be there, so I think that's a part of her healing process. Still, at 86, there's not much bounceback from stage 4, so I'll tuck away the 'best seat in the house' thought in case she can't make it. Her diagnosis has been one of the hardest parts of wedding planning.

The amazing miraculous waterproof mascara was Anna Sui Super Waterproof Mascara... I ordered it from Victoria's Secret, but I saw it on Amazon.com too. I occasionally read reviews of skincare stuff on a make-up forum, and people were raving about it there... somebody said she went surfing with it on, and didn't have a single smudge. I really didn't cry much, but through my few teary episodes throughout the night, it definitely didn't budge.... and I never needed to touch up or re-apply or anything. Of course it didn't come off for like 3 days after...

And Sum, my grandmother had ovarian cancer too....

I also should have mentioned that both my husband and I were emotional wrecks at the rehearsal dinner. I made him do the little speech because I was afraid I'd be crying, and he ended up breaking down and sobbing through the whole thing... which of course meant I (and most of our friends and family!) sobbed along with him.

 

[littlelysser]

I am a compulsive crier too!

I cry at tv shows, commercials, movies, reading YOUR posts about this subject.

I''ll most likely cry during the ceremony...

But the thing I''m a bit worried about is seeing all my very bestest friends in the world and close family...there for us...THAT is going to make be bawl!

Especially if I''ve had a glass of champagne or two!

 

[janinegirly]

i was hoping a glass of champagne before would help calm my nerves and lessen the crying.
only thing i can think of!

 

[DivaDiamond007]

I managed to not cry at my wedding, although I''m ususally an emotional person. I was more excited than anything. THE DAY had finally arrived and I could not wait to walk down our 110 foot aisle. I was absolutely glowing the entire day and it showed in our pictures.

 

[sumbride]

Thanks Ephem! I''ll order it now and try it out!

I''m sorry your grandmother went through the same disease. It''s so devastating. Though you are scaring me with yet another freaky coincidence between us!

 

[ephemery1]

Date: 6/20/2007 2:41:35 PM
Author: sumbride
Thanks Ephem! I''ll order it now and try it out!

I''m sorry your grandmother went through the same disease. It''s so devastating. Though you are scaring me with yet another freaky coincidence between us!

I know, I thought the same thing!! When I read your post, I thought "that is so weird..." until I realized I''m not even all that surprised anymore.