Apparently his friends are "ready"...

[sumbride]

My guy just returned from a trip to Vegas with his friends. It was a "couples trip" but I couldn''t go as I''m about to go on a vacation with my girlfriends! My office wouldn''t like me being gone half the month of April, plus I knew if he went without me he''d miss me more. He did, but not just that... His friends have planned the whole bachelor party trip to Vegas. It''s a tradition in his group, and now they''re starting to pressure him. He said "They want us to get engaged SOON so we can go back." SOON? The pressure isn''t coming from me this time, it''s coming from all his married friends. I did say "well, I hope our timeline makes them happy." I like this... maybe the peer pressure will be more effective. And I LOVE the use of the word "SOON". Of course... it could be guy soon. Of course, me being gone for a week in Mexico may just remind him how much he likes having me around.

So this is about pressure from other sources... not parents, not each other... what other sources of pressure are you feeling?

 

[ephemery1]

Sum, gotta love that your BF goes to Vegas and comes back even more excited to marry you! That''s like the total opposite of what Vegas trips usually claim to do!!

The most recent source of external pressure for me is probably that we realized how many of our friends are going to be getting married spring/summer/fall next year, same as us. So I''m starting to get worried about picking a date that won''t conflict with anyone else, and a location that will be different enough from all the other weddings. I hate the thought of being just another generic wedding in the midst of 10 others. So I keep thinking if we could just hurry up and get engaged, I could at least plan the wedding to be at the beginning of the bunch and get "Save the Dates" out and reserve a location and all that... but my BF is unconcerned.

He is way more laidback than I am in a "oh well, everything will work out, no worries" kind of way... probably why we''re a good balance!!

 

[jesterjigger]

That''s great! Especially if the bachelor party will be in Vegas...definitely want him coming back MORE ready to marry you than not!

As far as pressure...lets see...my mom, of course, and then about 100 people at work. We are both in the AF in a large squadron (400 people) where we are both very well known, it''s kind of like being a Hollywood couple, because I''m constantly hearing rumors about how we''re engaged or going to get engaged, or that we''re getting married before going to Korea in June, etc. We went on a cruise right after he got back from Iraq and I was asked by at least 20 people if we''d eloped on the cruise or gotten engaged. He gets it much worse than me because he''s really laidback and everyone likes to give him a hard time about stuff. He got it a LOT from the guys he was deployed with as well. That''s kind of why I want to get engaged before going to Korea, so that we can share our happiness with everyone that we work with that has been rooting for us! And then of course we''ve had eight friends get married in the last two years between us...

 

[sumbride]

Date: 4/19/2006 10:12:11 AM
Author: ephemery1
Sum, gotta love that your BF goes to Vegas and comes back even more excited to marry you! That''s like the total opposite of what Vegas trips usually claim to do!!

The most recent source of external pressure for me is probably that we realized how many of our friends are going to be getting married spring/summer/fall next year, same as us. So I''m starting to get worried about picking a date that won''t conflict with anyone else, and a location that will be different enough from all the other weddings. I hate the thought of being just another generic wedding in the midst of 10 others. So I keep thinking if we could just hurry up and get engaged, I could at least plan the wedding to be at the beginning of the bunch and get ''Save the Dates'' out and reserve a location and all that... but my BF is unconcerned.

He is way more laidback than I am in a ''oh well, everything will work out, no worries'' kind of way... probably why we''re a good balance!!

Vegas is one of his favorite places and I still haven''t been there, so I think by going without me yet again, he realized how much he wanted to take me... which somehow translated to reminding him that he wants to marry me and since going back hinges on being engaged, then he better hurry up and propose! It''s guy logic, but I love it!


I totally sympathize with you about not wanting to be "just another wedding" as well as his "it will all work out" thing. I''m sure he doesn''t realize how competitive dates can be... can''t do it within a couple weeks if you want one of the other couples to attend yours... resources for the group will be limited, etc... I guess I''m lucky that we''re the only couple planning to plan right now. Everyone else is either already married or not even close. We''ll get to be "the center of attention."

 

[sumbride]

Date: 4/19/2006 10:18:44 AM
Author: jesterjigger
That''s great! Especially if the bachelor party will be in Vegas...definitely want him coming back MORE ready to marry you than not!


As far as pressure...lets see...my mom, of course, and then about 100 people at work. We are both in the AF in a large squadron (400 people) where we are both very well known, it''s kind of like being a Hollywood couple, because I''m constantly hearing rumors about how we''re engaged or going to get engaged, or that we''re getting married before going to Korea in June, etc. We went on a cruise right after he got back from Iraq and I was asked by at least 20 people if we''d eloped on the cruise or gotten engaged. He gets it much worse than me because he''s really laidback and everyone likes to give him a hard time about stuff. He got it a LOT from the guys he was deployed with as well. That''s kind of why I want to get engaged before going to Korea, so that we can share our happiness with everyone that we work with that has been rooting for us! And then of course we''ve had eight friends get married in the last two years between us...

yeah, I''d say that''s pressure... wow!

 

[ephemery1]

Date: 4/19/2006 1:57:38 PM
Author: sumbride

I guess I''m lucky that we''re the only couple planning to plan right now.

Ha... "planning to plan"... that''s exactly what it is! That''s awesome that your wedding year won''t be crowded with other weddings going on amongst your friends... I kept thinking that this summer would have been perfect for our wedding (oh well) because we only have a few others to attend, and they''re all very spread out. Then next May-September, we know of at least 4 already being planned (all close friends or family), and probably another 4 likely, plus ours... so I have a feeling it will get complicated.

I''d like to be either the very beginning (May 12th maybe?) or, I guess end (Sept 29th...my late grandma''s bday)... we''ll see!

But I guess with the already-married friends, having kids becomes the next thing to consider! My friend had a VERY pregnant bridesmaid in her wedding a few years back that definitely took over "center of attention" that day... and she just had twins herself in February, so I''m not sure she''ll be up for being a bridesmaid in mine, dealing with twin toddlers at that point.

 

[sumbride]

Date: 4/19/2006 2:49:51 PM
Author: ephemery1

But I guess with the already-married friends, having kids becomes the next thing to consider! My friend had a VERY pregnant bridesmaid in her wedding a few years back that definitely took over ''center of attention'' that day... and she just had twins herself in February, so I''m not sure she''ll be up for being a bridesmaid in mine, dealing with twin toddlers at that point.

We have friends planning on starting their families any minute now so we''ll definitely have to plan for all the children. We both have several young neices and nephews too.. so there will be kids all over the place. We have three girls vying for the role of flower girl.

 

[Rhapsody]

All of my boyfriends close friends are already married, but I don''t know if most of them say anything to him about being the last man standing. Any when someone else gets married or something like that does the topic come up.

He has one friend who is pretty religious and obviously uncomfortable with my boyfriend and I living in sin with no signs we even intended to marry at any point. When ever we''d mention going on vacation or buying a house or anything that involved us sleeping in the same room this friend would always ask when we planned to get married

My boyfriend has been working on whatever contraption he''s making for the proposal and has been working on it at his office during down time. Apparently his office-mate told him he was a jerk for making me wait so long which I find generally amusing and comfirms that I''m not crazy for thinking 11 weeks is starting to push it

 

[JenStone]

I''m in a slightly different situation - most of my boyfriend''s friends are not married yet. They''re the loud, obnoxious, beer-drinking crowd who want to be bachelors for as long as possible.

HOWEVER, they all want us to get married soon! I will never fully understand the male species....

 

[kcoursolle]

This thread is hillarious...boyfriend goes to Vegas...and friends pressure him to get married...funny! I think often times guys get married/engaged soon after their friends do. I think that when we get engaged a lot of his friends will start asking their gf''s too. I think a lot of guys just don''t want to be the first of their friends or something. I bet this source of pressure may actually be more effective, because when it comes from parents or girlfriends it''s like nagging, but we''ll see!!!