Are you taking pictures with the groom before the ceremony?

[NewEnglandLady]

Hey, all,

I obviously cannot concentrate on work today, I keep posting here instead

So question for you ladies: will you be seeing the groom for pics before the ceremony? Or will he not see you until you walk down the aisle?

I''d never thought about it until our photographer brought it up a few months ago--he said that most couples take pics beforehand to get some out of the way (I didn''t realize taking pictures was such a long process). Apparently this is especially the case with outdoor weddings later in the day, like ours. Our wedding is tiny and I don''t want too many "posed" shots, so I don''t think our pictures will take that long, but I thought getting some beforehand might be a good idea.

FH was completely against this. So no pictures beforehand for us. We did have to push our ceremony time up a little to make sure there was enough daylight for pictures afterward, but I was fine with that.

While I tease FH for being much more tradional than I, I''m kind of excited at the thought of him not seeing me until the ceremony. I did put my foot down when he suggested we not sleep in the same bed the night before the wedding, though!

 

[Tacori E-ring]

We did and it was such a great experience. It allowed all the emotion to be released in private vs. in front of all our guests. I really think it helped me be calm and collected during the actual ceremony. Plus my "aisle" was so long I would have never seen his reaction to me. This way I saw it and we could talk/hug/whatever and the photos turned out very nice. We also took photos after.

 

[janinegirly]

hi!
i must be very traditional b/c we''re not sleeping in same bed the night before and won''t see each other until I walk down the aisle. Also going to abstain for a few weeks prior (sorry, TMI). And we are doing photos after the ceremony. For us, not really much choice since our is early (noon). But I also really like going for the full effect, where the first time the groom sees his bride, he has that priceless expression. Just not the same to me if it''s before the walk down the aisle with all the logistics of photos. I''m also marrying in a cathedral....so man, I''m really going for some heavy atmosphere.hehe.

as for your ques (on other thread) on ribbons, still no decision! I''ve made so many big decisions on command, but stuck on this, how ridiculous!

i''m also not getting much work done since i keep looking at wedding stuff non-stop. yikes!

 

[NewEnglandLady]

Don''t sweat the ribbons--isn''t it funny how the smallest decisions become mind-crippling at this point? I think within a few weeks of the wedding, every couple is "decisioned out". I think I''d keel over if I had to make any more big decisions, I can BARELY handle the small ones!

 

[zoebartlett]

I wouldn''t mind but I don''t think we''ll end up seeing each other. I''ve already been told by my mom that we''re not allowed to see each other before the ceremony. Yes, ma''am! I don''t like the thought of having everyone gwawking at us while we''re doing our pictures though. I''d feel a little silly. I hate the thought of missing the cocktail hour though, so I''ll have to give it some thought. One thing is for sure -- if we do miss the cocktail hour, I''m asking the people at the reception to wrap up some food for us to have later. As you can tell, we haven''t quite decided.

 

[snlee]

We took bride and groom pictures before our ceremony. It was a different though because we had seen each other in the morning for our tea ceremony.

 

[Selkie]

We had pictures taken before, and I''m very happy we did. We still got to have the moment when he first saw me, and it was AMAZING.

Janine, you said, "But I also really like going for the full effect, where the first time the groom sees his bride, he has that priceless expression. Just not the same to me if it''s before the walk down the aisle with all the logistics of photos."

Taking pictures before the ceremony doesn''t have to take that "priceless expression" away from you, if you plan it right and your site allows. The only difference is the location (i.e. not at the altar/ceremony site) and how many other pairs of eyes are on you at the time. I walked down the stairs of our inn to the foyer where he was waiting, and our photographer very unobtrusively captured some beautiful candid shots of the moment. I really liked not being gawked at during that time, and being able to hug him and have a private moment! Then we went outside and had a bunch more photos taken for about an hour. We actually had extra time because we were holding off starting the ceremony due to a thunderstorm. We took both couple and family shots during that time. Had we not done this, even with our small wedding (40 people) we would either have had far fewer photos, or would have wasted 2 hours after the ceremony and before the reception doing them.

 

[Selkie]

oops

 

[Selkie]

Tell me these aren't some priceless expressions!

Also, I wanted to add that our parents were in the foyer too, so the most important people witnessed the moment.

 

[wolftress]

Hi NEL, I''m already married but DH and I didn''t have our pics taken before the ceremony. On the one hand, it was really emotional when I walked down the aisle because it was the first time DH was seeing me in my wedding dress. He was completely blown away and that moment was priceless. His expression will live on in my mind till we are old and wrinkly and yelling at each other through our hearing aids

On the other hand, I really regret not pushing our ceremony earlier because we originally planned to have our pics taken in the sunset... but in autumn, the sun set a lot earlier and all the pictures were taken with artificial lighting. They still turned out lovely, but not really what we had expected.

Isn''t it funny how traditional some men can be? DH also said we should spend the night before the wedding apart, and I''m glad we did. I got to have a girly night with my bridesmaids and missed him so much that I got butterflies in my stomach thinking about seeing him at the wedding!

 

[whenharrymetsally]

We will most definitely be taking some pictures together before the ceremony. Fiance is very excited about a chinese tradition where the groom and his "boyz" will arrive early morning at the Bride''s house to negotiate release of the Bride from the Bridesmaids. Usually the Bridesmaids will have various tasks for the Groom and/or his boys to complete so as much as I didn''t want him to see me until the ceremony..we will be seeing each other and will probably have lots of photos.

 

[Nicki]

Ha! Not only will I be seeing the groom before the ceremony, he''s going to have to help me get dressed!!!!

I''m honestly not sure if we''ll have time to take photos before the ceremony, since we have a 9:00 am wedding.

 

[NewEnglandLady]

Thanks for everybody''s replies, this is really helpful.

I''m going to speak with my FI one more time about it before everything is set in stone with the photographer. We''ve already adjusted the ceremony time to accommodate for all photos to be taken after the ceremony, but I want to make sure it''s the best decision. If this is important to my FI, then I''m happy to respect that. But he''s very shy, in fact he''s already nervous about saying such personal vows in front of an audience (even a small one), so I want to make sure that he is okay with having the "moment" of seeing me in front of everybody since he anticipates being emotional. And I will definitely be emotional seeing him at the end of the aisle, so I think there will be tears on both ends.

I do want to have a private moment with him before the ceremony, though. Ideally, I''d like to wake up, have breakfast together, take a private stroll along the beach and make a final decision about where to have the ceremony (we have 3 - 4 different plans based on weather). then go our separate ways. I think he''s content with this plan as opposed to spending the night separately, but again, if it''s important to him then I am perfectly fine with it. Because we rented a private estate for the wedding, my entire family and my MOH will all be staying with us so I''ll be surrounded with great company

Thanks again to everybody! It''s nice to know that those who did do the pictures beforehand didn''t feel that the moment of seeing each other was any less special, in fact it sounds like making it private is a bit more personal. I''ll let my FI know and leave the final decision up to him, though I already know what he''ll say...the bigger the surprise, the better. The man does love surprises.

 

[Tacori E-ring]

I feel I should add that DH and I did not spend the night together the night before our wedding. In fact we did not see each other until an hour before the ceremony (we were both dressed and ready to go). Also this was when he gave me a wedding gift (which I was NOT expecting!) and I did shed a few tears. It was only us and the two photographers (snapping away).

 

[Mandarine]

Date: 9/6/2007 6:39:09 PM
Author: Selkie
Tell me these aren't some priceless expressions!

Also, I wanted to add that our parents were in the foyer too, so the most important people witnessed the moment.

awww Selkie....completely priceless. He looks so overwhelmed with emotion!!!

I love those two pictures!!!!

Me and FI had decided to take pictures beforehand...and now he's going to opposite way because he thinks he doesn't want to see me until I walk down the aisle, so we're not sure yet!. I was leaning towards before though...mainly because I don't want to miss the party

M~

 

[labbielove]

I think I would want to, but our schedule doesn't allow for it.
Logistics are tough because of our venue, etc.
I am looking forward to seeing him as I walk down the aisle.
We are going to talk on the phone though, a good compromise.

Eta: I am "kicking him out" the night before, but it works out well- his buddy is here from CA so they will share a hotel room and I will be with my oldest sister at our house. I am planning to enjoy some alone time the morning of- I am going to take my dog to the park for a run, and savor the last few moments of my single life. It's been a great one, and I am looking forward to the next chapter, as a Mrs.

 

[surfgirl]

I think seeing each other beforehand is more intimate and to me, more emotional since you can be more raw in showing your emotions, rather than having a bunch of people staring at you, waiting to see you cry...I''m a very private person and so is my Mr. so even though we were eloping, we decided to take photos beforehand and have the "first look" at the hotel site since we wanted to photograph there as well, before we went to the wedding location. We spent our wedding morning lounging around and then he got ready and got out of there while I got ready...and when I saw him, it was just as special as if we waited til we got to the ceremony site.

 

[Elmorton]

For our first wedding ceremony, DH and I did photos afterward. While our photographer said that she prefers to do photos before for schedule reasons, she likes the expressions brides and grooms tend to have after - less nerves, relaxed smiles, etc - although, I have friends who did photos before and they don''t look any less happy or more nervous, IMO! With having photos afterward, we had a very short, detailed list of who we wanted in photos (we did a lot of portraits, photos with individuals etc, before hand). There were no "Oh, and let''s get so and so in here..." moments with the post-ceremony photography. I think a list like this is a MUST if you plan to do photos after the cermeony and want to get to the reception on time! Honestly, if I had it to do over again, I''d still do photos after. I loved just being surrounded by my girlfriends and my parents all day before the wedding - to me, it was very special, very emotional, and really built up the anticipation of seeing DH at the end of the aisle. Also, I love the "We did it!" expression on our faces in all our post-ceremony photos.

At our church blessing two weeks later, DH and I met before the ceremony, took pictures, and then walked down the aisle together. This time, we were just as happy as the first wedding, but almost in a different way, and not just because we were already married. I loved being able to see him before the ceremony, say "Wow, I''m nervous!" and get hugs and kisses before sharing vows (again). It was very comforting, intimate, and happy.

 

[happilyeverafter]

I have to say originally I was against seeing FI before the wedding. However I know I will cry when I first see him, so it makes me want to have that short intimate moment together before so i''m not trying to clean myself up while walking down the isle, and I wont have to say my vows with smudgy makeup. Plus I think FI will cry too, and I don''t want him to be embarrased in front of our families (he would be!) I would probably end up embarrased too when I cried! lol

So because of that I''m going to ask FI if we can have a short private moment together (with photographers) right before the ceremony starts. No formal pictures, just a couple shots to capture the "first look". It will be just us and a few tears, and then I will be able to wear a big happy grin with dry eyes when I walk down the isle!

 

[DivaDiamond007]

When I got married, DH and I parted ways after our rehersal dinner and did not see each other again until I walked down the aisle. We wanted it to be that way and we were both so full of emotion at that moment. I held it together pretty well, surprisingly. We took all of our pictures after the ceremony and it worked out well.

Jess

 

[KimberlyH]

We took pictures beforehand. I wanted to be part of the party I''d worked so hard to plan! We were also married at 7pm and if we''d waited we''d have had no light and our ceremony location was beautiful, I wanted to make good use of it. But I was a super-lax bride, my husband helped me choose my wedding dress, we skipped on the wedding party, etc. We didn''t live together, but spent the night before the wedding in our new house for the first time. My sister, BIL and then 9 month old nephew showed up early for the wedding and took over my 2 bedroom 1 bath condo; I knew if I stayed there I would get NO sleep, so we had a pre-wedding sleepover. It was so nice to wake up to his sweet face the morning of our wedding.

 

[Pandora II]

I won''t be seeing FI from the morning before the wedding till I walk down the aisle.

He will want to spend time with his bestmen before the ceremony and I have quite a long drive from my parents to the venue so people will be sitting around for a while.

Also I don''t want to see FI before the ceremony.

 

[ChargerGrrl]

oh, i SO wish that DH and I had taken pics before the ceremony! not because we missed out on time with our guests, as we went through the post-ceremony pics pretty quickly. BUT because I don''t really recall the "first time we saw each other" moment.

I had a rather long trek...there were these grass/stone steps that led to the aisle. so instead of "savoring the moment" i was really concentrating on watching my step and not falling (by brother helped me down). once we got to the actual aisle, my 90-year old father walked me down, so then i was concentrating on making sure HE didn''t fall! bottom line, i really didn''t get that special "eye to eye/seeing each other for the first time" moment with my DH as I walked down the aisle. I wish we would''ve seen each other before the ceremony- not just for pics, but for US

 

[HollyS]

I think we''ve decided, after a talk this weekend, that we will have our private moment before the walk down the aisle. We know we will cry, and we do not want to share that moment with 65 other people. We will have the photographer (a close family friend) capture it on film for us --- but it is OUR moment and OUR memory, and perhaps a little selfishly, we don''t want to share. I''ll have a good cry; he''ll have a good cry; we will put eyedrops in our red eyes; I''ll repair the damage to my face; and we won''t fall apart during the vows. And we would, ''cause we are extremely sensitive and sentimental.

 

[kcoursolle]

We did pictures before hand and it was great. It was relaxed and we didn''t have to make our guests wait. The photographer says that he prefers this as well because the pictures turn out better because they are not as rushed. In addition, your makeup will be intact for pictures which might not be the case if you cry during the ceremony and do pictures afterwards. It thought it was fun to see fi before hand as well. It made the whole day a little bit more relaxed and lessed stressed. I was definitely less nervous walking down the aisle after being onsite for a while.

 

[jfo]

Date: 9/10/2007 10:28:33 AM
Author: KimberlyH
We took pictures beforehand. I wanted to be part of the party I''d worked so hard to plan! We were also married at 7pm and if we''d waited we''d have had no light and our ceremony location was beautiful, I wanted to make good use of it. But I was a super-lax bride, my husband helped me choose my wedding dress, we skipped on the wedding party, etc. We didn''t live together, but spent the night before the wedding in our new house for the first time. My sister, BIL and then 9 month old nephew showed up early for the wedding and took over my 2 bedroom 1 bath condo; I knew if I stayed there I would get NO sleep, so we had a pre-wedding sleepover. It was so nice to wake up to his sweet face the morning of our wedding.

Ditto here! I wanted to make sure that we could spend time with everyone and have a drink and some apps after the ceremony before dinner, etc. I guess I would fall into the non-traditional bride group though because I never even thought about when the first time I would see my husband... even though we did pics before the ceremony, we did them with both families so there wasn''t a time when it was just me and him and no one else around anyway.

In hindsight, that would have been nice and maybe made my husband more relaxed (he was admittedly nervous during the picture-taking because he just wanted to get married already--which is one con that we did have with the pics beforehand), but I still think it was the right decision.

Quick funny thing I just remembered... the first time we did see each other (all dressed up), I was in a car being driven to the site for the photos, and my husband was walking there and my MOH and I saw him and we honked. He looked over, saw that I was on my way and looked SO relieved. He told me later that all morning he was just nervous that I wasn''t going to show up! He had nothing to worry about...

 

[aquarius_ser]

I am (was) completely against seeing FH before the ceremony... I guess I was just being "traditional" and wanted it to be "exciting".... BUT I never thought about getting the crying/nerves out of the way!! After reading everyone''s thoughts/input on this, I think I might change mine.

I know I''m going to be a COMPLETE mess and pics before the ceremony might relieve some of that. I''m a very emotional & private person and I don''t really want everyone to see me "breakdown".

Thanks for bringing this subject up!

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

I''m pretty sure we''ll do pics before the ceremony. Mainly because we''re getting married on the beach in October and we''re going to be somewhat short on sunlight. But also because there''s nowhere for me to really go where no one will see me. But I''m okay with that.