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article from yahoo on age and getting married...

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larussel03

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disclaimer: I dont agree with everything said here, esp the "undesirable" part, that''s just rude, but since it was a topic addressed before, I figured I''d post this...

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Early to wed may make marriage happy, survey says

By Sharon Jayson, USA TODAY Thu Nov 17, 8:02 AM ET

Americans are waiting longer to get married, but they shouldn''t wait too long: The odds for a happy marriage may favor those who tie the knot between the ages of 23 and 27, says a survey out Thursday.
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The average age at first marriage in the USA has been inching upward; it''s now 26 for women and 27 for men.

The survey asked a variety of questions about marriage and divorce, including attitudes toward cohabitation and raising children. Eighty-eight percent of respondents said marriage should be a lifelong commitment.

The survey was designed and analyzed by University of Texas sociology professor Norval Glenn for the National Fatherhood Initiative, which advocates marriage and family values.

To determine marital satisfaction and success, Glenn says, the answers to a series of questions were calculated according to a statistical index, including adjustments for the length of marriages as well as the age at first marriage.

Findings shouldn''t create panic among those approaching 30, he says. "Those marriages turned out better but maybe not because of the age," he says. "Some people may be just too picky or too choosy or not extremely desirable."

Other researchers worry that the findings, based on a 15-minute national telephone survey of 1,503 men and women ages 18 and older in late 2003 and early 2004, may alarm those unattached and marriage-minded.

"The last thing you want is to have them take this as a rule," says Stephanie Coontz, a professor of history and family studies at Evergreen State College in Olympia, Wash. "If you''re in a good relationship and if you want to marry, there''s no reason to postpone it."

Andrew Cherlin, a professor of sociology and public policy at Johns Hopkins University in Baltimore, says marrying too young or too old carries a greater risk of divorce. But now, "as people wait longer and longer to marry, the definition of what''s too old keeps changing."

"In the 1950s, 28 was really old to get married. Now it''s not so old, which means there are more unmarried people for a 28-year-old to choose from," he says.

Frank Furstenberg, a sociology professor at the University of Pennsylvania, says the times are so different that past assumptions should be rejected. "The dregs in 1960 may have been people marrying in their late 20s and early 30s," he says. "That isn''t true today."
 
I find this interesting because about 1/2 of my friends (me included) want to get married at 26/27, and half want to wait until they''re in their 30''s. While it''s definately personal preference, it''s always interesting to hear averages...
 
I''m 33 and probably will be 34 or 35 by the time I get my married. My boyfriend will be 26 or 27 by then. I''m glad I waited, not only because of the person I''m with but because I couldn''t imagine being married in my 20''s...I''d certainly would have been divorced by now.

My BF says that where he grew up (2.5 hours from where I grew up) not being married by the time you are 25 is odd and if I lived there, I would be too old and would either settle or marry some geezer. (he really didn''t say it so harshly) it''s weird the difference in age and marriage in an area of the same state.
 
I think you have to consider this might be a study ranging across the county, which each region has completely differing norms. I know in California at 29 it is quite normal to not be married, whereas in other states it is on the unusual side. Too bad these studies folks don''t realize everyone meets their mate at different points in their lives, there is no hard rules!
 
yeah, in MA it's normal to not get married until in your 30s, people dont tend to think it's odd to be 30 and unmarried...could be different in diff areas in MA though. In Boston, lots of people have careers where they work 12 hours a day or go back to school for MBA's and Phd's and whatnot, which might contribute...not that boston is the only city/town where this happens, but it seems that marriage is not highest priority here in terms of people's life plans...maybe it's like that in all cities
 
BF and I moved to this town of 4400 from Chicago just last year. I work for a company that employees up to 800 during it''s peak season. I KNOW I am the oldest never married bachelorette this town''s ever seen.

I think I''ve put more pressure on myself because of my environment than if I would have stayed in Chicago. Just last week the supplementary insurance guy was trying to sell me blah blah blah and I said no need, I don''t have a family yet. He replied, well it would benefit you and your spouse until the family arrives. I said, well I don''t have one of those either so we can just skip this one. He got this scrunched up pitiful face and questioned, Really? (Inner-self explosion - yes, *******, really!!!)

ps I''m 30 and ''think'' I can pass for much younger
 
I think this study raises some interesting points, but as we all know numbers can be manipulated to support any hypothesis. Particularly in social research. AND, let''s look at the organization doing the survey...I won''t get partisan here, but it''s safe to say they have a political agenda to forward. Perhaps I''ve been in DC too long, but marriage promotion is a tainted issue around these parts.
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Date: 11/17/2005 3:36:50 PM
Author: Starset Princess
BF and I moved to this town of 4400 from Chicago just last year. I work for a company that employees up to 800 during it''s peak season. I KNOW I am the oldest never married bachelorette this town''s ever seen.

I think I''ve put more pressure on myself because of my environment than if I would have stayed in Chicago. Just last week the supplementary insurance guy was trying to sell me blah blah blah and I said no need, I don''t have a family yet. He replied, well it would benefit you and your spouse until the family arrives. I said, well I don''t have one of those either so we can just skip this one. He got this scrunched up pitiful face and questioned, Really? (Inner-self explosion - yes, *******, really!!!)

ps I''m 30 and ''think'' I can pass for much younger

I''d be so ticked off if someone responded in that manner!
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It''s none of their bloody business what anyone does with their lives!!
 
Date: 11/17/2005 6:41:37 PM
Author: Kit
I think this study raises some interesting points, but as we all know numbers can be manipulated to support any hypothesis. Particularly in social research. AND, let''s look at the organization doing the survey...I won''t get partisan here, but it''s safe to say they have a political agenda to forward. Perhaps I''ve been in DC too long, but marriage promotion is a tainted issue around these parts.
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Yeah, researcher''s bias seems pretty obvious. And I''m not convinced that their definition of happy marriage is the same as my definition of it (and the Yahoo article doesn''t clarify that at all).
 
Interesting topic. I think, and I am no sociologist, the fact that people are getting married at a later age has a lot to do with the fact that women are more independent these days.

All of my female friends, single or married or married with children, have careers.

And I think with a career comes a couple of considerations that were probably missing in the 50s and 60s. For example, women don''t necessarily "need" to rely on a man to pay bills; nearly every woman I know was living on her own in an apartment prior to getting married; and considering all the time and money spent on getting an education and beginning a career, women often want to get their career established before getting married and having children.

Just my .02.
 
I think an important consideration here is the amount of time and money many people have to spend for school. Personally, my BF and I are ready to get married, but we both have another 1.5 years left in these degrees. Financially, we just can''t pay for a wedding (which culturally we would be expected to have and we want to have!). The school bills are just too much at this point and neither one of us has any substantial income for the year (just summer employment). So I think time and money might be more of a consideration than not being "extremely desirable". Just my experience.

I also think it has something to do with the way the majority (not everyoneof course)are raised. As a society, we are in our childhood modes for longer as time goes on and a later marriage could just reflect our changing social growth rates. This is compounded by our longer life expectancies --- so we don''t have hurry to commit to relationships.

In my opinion, it''s great that we have the opportunity to do a lot of growing before we commit because it makes that commitment strong and special.
 
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