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As guest, would you rather: late start or a gap

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chicagolawyer

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So the ceiling of our church is falling in and we need to find a new church three months out. Of course since this is downtown Chicago, churches have very limited availability right now with our date and the times are not great. We cannot change the date (as my mom not so helpfully suggested) because we have significant $ down in deposits that we would lose, and to be honest I cannot bear the thought of starting over, I just want to be married already.

As a guest, would you rather

1) Attend a wedding ceremony at 1pm and have the reception start at 6pm, OR,
2) Have the ceremony start at 6:30, cocktails at 7:30-8pm, dinner at 8, dancing starts at nine.

I wanted to avoid a gap at all costs so I'm gravitating towards the 6:30pm ceremony. The only thing is, most guests will be traveling from the east coast so they will feel like everything is one hour later.

Any and all thoughts greatly appreciated!

ETA: I could of course do a mid-day reception after the 1pm ceremony, but the one thing I'm really looking forward to is a nice sit down dinner and dancing to a great band, e.g. the party atmosphere. I don't feel that can be achieved at 2pm when it is super light out so I don't want to compromise on that.
 
Option number 2! Because..that''s pretty much what I''m doing.
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Ceremony would be at 6:00 and reception immediately following, but I think it would work out. People like less lengthy receptions anyway, especially if you have any elderly people attending.
 
I would definately go with option #2. I attended a wedding which had a gap of a few hours between the ceremony and the reception and it was very awkward. I ended up sitting in the hotel room with my friend all dressed up just waiting around. It kind of felt like the entire day was broken up and having such a large chunk of time to do absolutely nothing during made me feel incredibly tired and drained by the time the reception started.
 
Gaps longer than the travel time necessary to get between the two venues are really annoying IMO. I would avoid one at all costs if it were me.
 
Thanks for the replies, both of you! I love the 6:30pm option, and agree that gaps are awkward for guests and that shorter receptions are wonderful.

Any thoughts on if guests may be tired? We have three grandparents coming who I''m sure will be tired, but I''m more worried about the parents and their friends, who are all in their 50s.

On the invite I could tell them to take a nap....?
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Haha! Yeah, they may duck out a bit early. Maybe not to long after the dancing starts, but hey maybe not! It''s your wedding. My FI''s grandma generally stays up late, but she doesn''t stay out late and she stayed at his cousin''s wedding reception until midnight when it ended.
 
Date: 4/16/2008 11:10:42 AM
Author: chicagolawyer
Thanks for the replies, both of you! I love the 6:30pm option, and agree that gaps are awkward for guests and that shorter receptions are wonderful.


Any thoughts on if guests may be tired? We have three grandparents coming who I''m sure will be tired, but I''m more worried about the parents and their friends, who are all in their 50s.


On the invite I could tell them to take a nap....?
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I wouldn''t worry about it as long as you won''t be crushed if they leave a bit early.
 
if you have out of towners coming, the extra time to get there might work out better for them, too, so you could be doing them a favor....just trying to put a positive spin on it!
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as long as the ceremony is relatively short, i think it''d be pretty good timing!
 
Late start! I find big gaps to be annoying when you''re from out of town. I just went to one this past weekend where there were 3 hrs. DH and I went to home depot and looked at stuff in our dress clothes. It was way too much time and we were really bored.
 
I like the later start for an out-of-towner. PLUS, it gives them time to go out and do some sight-seeing in Chicago, then come back to the hotel and take a nap. Most of our older guests didn''t stay much past dinner any way, and if the ceremony starts at 6:30, I think most people will realize that they will be eating late so they can grab a late lunch or a snack.
 
Another vote for the later start. And this is coming from someone used to weddings with a gap for photos after the ceremony (the guests normally go to the reception venue and have tea or cocktails for an hour or two while the wedding party stand around in the cold posing for the photographer!). Five hours just feels too long. You might lose the party momentum!
 
I definitely vote for the late start. I would check with guests to see if many have made their hotel arrangements yet though... some may be staying the night before if the wedding was original starting early and may have to change their plans to stay the nigth after instead. I''m sure any reservations can be changed since its not too close to the date.

I also have to add that if the "gap plan" works best for you then I don''t think I would be too upset about it f I were a guest idepending on where the wedding was being held. Sometimes when I go to weddings, I wish I had more time to explore if it seems like a fun city. Just my opinion...
 
I would stay away from the gap situation. I was a Bmaid in a wedding with a 5 hour gap. Most people didn''t go to the ceremony...they just went to the reception, and the bride was upset about that. Those of us that didn''t live in town were just kind of "stuck". I, luckily, could wear the same thing that night, but many people were asking each other if they should change clothes for the reception. Other guests were talking to people trying to find a good rendezvous spot, rather than just sit in their hotel rooms by themselves. All around awkward.

The bride on the other hand loved it. It gave her some time with her new husband without anyone else around, and it just gave them a chance to take a breath. Among other things. Because she showed up to the reception with a completely different hairstyle. Hmmmmm. :)
 
#2 as well!
 
Thanks to everyone for the replies, I really do appreciate it. Sounds like the late start wins, which is great because that''s what I''d prefer too.

Luckily hotel rooms have only been reserved for family so far, and they will come on Friday night regardless because of the rehearsal dinner.

We will serve coffee, and maybe on the website I''ll cheekily ask that people take a nap so they can party away. And, if the older adults leave early I will not be too sad.

Now the question is - the bridesmaids are currently wearing this dress in french blue: http://www.priscillaofboston.com/dress_detail.jsp?gid=2&sfid=371&f=

Can I keep them in the same dress, or do I need to go long?

I already call the dress shop, and it is too late to change b/c they were ordered in February. I would pay for new ones though so the BMs would not have to shoulder the expense.
 
#2. If you did #1 few people would show up to both events.
 
Date: 4/16/2008 12:50:42 PM
Author: chicagolawyer
Thanks to everyone for the replies, I really do appreciate it. Sounds like the late start wins, which is great because that''s what I''d prefer too.


Luckily hotel rooms have only been reserved for family so far, and they will come on Friday night regardless because of the rehearsal dinner.


We will serve coffee, and maybe on the website I''ll cheekily ask that people take a nap so they can party away. And, if the older adults leave early I will not be too sad.


Now the question is - the bridesmaids are currently wearing this dress in french blue: http://www.priscillaofboston.com/dress_detail.jsp?gid=2&sfid=371&f=


Can I keep them in the same dress, or do I need to go long?


I already call the dress shop, and it is too late to change b/c they were ordered in February. I would pay for new ones though so the BMs would not have to shoulder the expense.
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Of course. Are you particularly worried about a formal/less formal look?
 
Regarding formality - I''ve never been to an evening ceremony, but I''ve always assumed that they are more formal. As long as short dresses won''t look out of place though I''m 100% for keeping the BM dresses as is.

Thanks again!
 
Hmm. I say do what you want to do. I think technically in evening ceremonies long dresses are more appropriate, but blegh. I really doubt you''re going to have people sitting there saying gasp I can''t believe she had them wear short dresses after 4! Hehe. My ceremony will most likely be outside, but since it will be hot I REALLY doubt I am putting long dresses on those girls. So I think it is still appropriate in a church to wear the shorter dresses for evening ceremonies even if formality etiquette technically says no. But it''s up to you!
 
SarahLovesJS is right, 6pm is formal. As far as I know 12 noon and 6pm are considered the most formal times to have a wedding (noon for morning, 6 for evening). But, bleh, who cares? Its your wedding and you should have your s wear what you want!
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By the way, I agree with the later time. I really don't like going to weddings with the big gap. As everyone else has said, what would you do during that time? Perhaps if you organized a trolley tour of Chi-town or something...

ETA: I totally meant s, not "s"!!

ETA, again: why can't I see the word I am typing when I submit? Augh!
 
late start definitely. That''s too long a gap to wait.
 
It sounds like you''ve decided to start late, and that''s JUST what I was going to suggest, for all the reasons given.
 
Later start, as you''ve already decided! And keep the dresses. Your wedding would be in July then, right? Shorter dresses in the summer evening are perfectly fine for formality and the wedding party is more likely to stay cooler than they would dancing the night away in long dresses.
 
Hands down option #2!! The gap reallly, really bothers me and is always so inconvenient! Plus, as a young person I like to stay out late anyway, and I''m sure your older guests would stay for most of the main events, then skip out for the rowdy dancing at the end if they were tired :)
 
As a guest, I would appreciate if you were able to avoid the gap. The 6:30 start sounds great.
 
ChicagoLawyer, Was your ceremony @ Holy Name Cathedral?? That stinks! A good friend of mine was getting married there too and they had to move the ceremony.

To weigh in, I think you should do the late start. Weddings are fun events, I'm sure there will be plenty of guests still up and dancing even if your wedding is late.

And the short dresses would be totally fine.
 
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