At what age do you leave your kids home alone?

[momhappy]

I ask because someone I know is leaving their 8 year-old home alone. It began happening a few weeks ago and now I notice the child home alone more frequently (in the afternoons and/or early evenings - like around the child's bed time or at least what should be the bed time of a child that age). They leave the child for 2-3 hours at a time. I have young children as well and would NEVER consider leaving them alone at that age. However, I would certainly consider myself to be an overprotective parent, so maybe I'm not the best judge for this sort of thing. I realize that some of it might depend upon the maturity level of the child and I will say that this particular child is not what I would consider "mature" enough to be alone for extended periods of time. Your thoughts?

 

[missjae]

I would never leave an eight year old home alone, not unless said eight year old had an extremely high level of maturity and general understanding of the world like an eight year old that is smart enough to attend college. Obviously this would be a very rare case that any eight year old would be in such a position. I think for an eight year old, if they are told and understand not to answer the door or phone unless it's the parents and can dial 911 should they need to and do not have anyone over or go anywhere then they may be able to stay home for no longer than an hour or less in the DAY time and I would still only warrant this if maybe a trusted neighbour was around to keep watch and this child in my opinion would still have to be pretty mature and beyond it's years. These are standards at which I think are acceptable for someone to allow even though I absolutely wouldn't ever ever NEVER ever leave my eight year old alone. A child of that age is biologically unable to fully understand consequence and in a day an age where everything is technological, an eight year old can get into too much trouble even home alone for a limited amount of time. I don't want to think about what may happen if the child spent any of the time online. Things like viewing inappropriate websites and having instant message conversations are the least harmful scenarios I can imagine would happen should a child be left alone. Before you know it personal information, pictures etc. could end up in the wrong person's grasp and could either lead to harm for the child and or family or float in cyberspace for eternity never to be retrieved tarnishing this little person's name. Also too many children go missing, my mind has to wander to the possibility that someone may coax the child out somehow. An eight year old is still just a baby. They are at an age where they are learning responsibility and independence but if you want to teach that maybe let them handle the pizza transaction when you pick it up by giving them the money to hand over. In my general opinion, and if I had to choose one answer without being wishy washy making points about each option I would say a child could be trusted home alone at 12. They are then considered old enough to take a Babysitting course and first aid and can be trusted to watch other people's children at that age. I would NOT leave a child any younger home alone. Eight is TOO TOO young. The end.

 

[momhappy]

I think it all started because they will sometimes leave the child home with the older brother (who is about 10/11), but lately, it's been the 8 year-old alone. Just recently, the child was left home alone for well over 3 1/2 hours (It was after 10pm when mom & dad finally arrived home - on a school night). I'm guessing that the older brother was home too, but I'm not sure about that.

 

[iheartscience]

I found this site that contains a list of states with laws on the minimum age kids can be left alone: http://www.latchkey-kids.com/latchkey-kids-age-limits.htm Not many states have laws, apparently. FWIW the site recommends kids not be left alone if they're under age 12, but includes this quote:

"Lynn Yaney, spokeswoman for the agency that handles child welfare in Contra Costa County, California, states:

"A general rule of thumb is that kids under age seven aren't capable of thinking logically and putting cause and effect together," Tanner said. "They are reliant on caregivers to structure their day." Children between ages 7 and 10 years aren't generally ready to self-supervise for an extended period, but in a routine and predictable environment, such as just after school, they can manage, Tanner said. Children 12 and 13 years old should be judged on a case- by-case basis but should not be left alone overnight."

 

[tammy77]

Our daughters are 8 & 10. The older one is VERY mature for her age and within the last 4 months we have started to let her supervise at home while we run to the store that's within walking distance. I think the longest we've left them alone was about an hour and a half. On that trip I think we face timed with her twice to make sure everything was okay. I think it's a great way to give them a little independence and responsibility.

That said, we still have them in childcare before and after school. I'm just not ready for them to walk home by themselves and having it so obvious that they're alone.

Also, I would never be comfortable with leaving them alone at bedtime. I know it's a very slim chance, but if there was an emergency like a fire when they're asleep I highly doubt they'd have the maturity level needed to get out safely. Also, if we didn't live in such a safe neighborhood where kids are always playing outside for hours at a time, we wouldn't be okay with it yet either.

 

[CharmedOne]

My oldest was 12 or 13 and I worried myself to death. I'm sure he was sick of me checking up on him. He is very responsible and trustworthy and even at 17, I still worry but I don't check up on him anymore.

 

[momhappy]

Our daughters are 8 & 10. The older one is VERY mature for her age and within the last 4 months we have started to let her supervise at home while we run to the store that's within walking distance. I think the longest we've left them alone was about an hour and a half. On that trip I think we face timed with her twice to make sure everything was okay. I think it's a great way to give them a little independence and responsibility.

That said, we still have them in childcare before and after school. I'm just not ready for them to walk home by themselves and having it so obvious that they're alone.

Also, I would never be comfortable with leaving them alone at bedtime. I know it's a very slim chance, but if there was an emergency like a fire when they're asleep I highly doubt they'd have the maturity level needed to get out safely. Also, if we didn't live in such a safe neighborhood where kids are always playing outside for hours at a time, we wouldn't be okay with it yet either.

This was my concern too - I thought to myself, even if they managed to get themselves to bed in a timely fashion, what if there was a fire? I'm still trying to give the parents the benefit of the doubt - I keep thinking to myself there must be some explanation or something that I didn't know because I simply can not wrap my mind around the concept of leaving them home alone for that long and/or at that time of day (the evening).

 

[Puppmom]

I left DD home alone for very short stretches at 10 and she came home from school alone starting at 12. I didn't really like that to be honest though. It was more out of necessity and I worked just a few miles from home at the time.

My neighbors leave their girls ages 9 and 11 home alone sometimes for short periods. Not long ago I saw them playing on their ROOF before their parents were even off the street!

 

[momhappy]

^Yikes! I just don't get it. I mean, I get that kids need to learn to be responsible, etc., but the bottom line is that there truly is a maturity level at which they can be trusted to be left alone.

 

[LAJennifer]

This thread reminds me of an incident my parents had with my brother when he was 8. I don't remember why, as I was 5, but my parents left my bro home alone for a few hours in 1978. While we were gone, he tried to pop popcorn on the stove top. He burnt the popcorn really badly and set the hot pot on an upholstered stool, which then burnt a hole in the upholstery. He tried to get rid of the "evidence" by flushing the burnt popcorn down the toilet. My dad had to spend a few days digging up our septic tank in the yard. Oh well, that's what they get for leaving an 8 year old home alone.

They never did again.

 

[momhappy]

^And even though he only caused some "minor" damage - the incident could have led to a house fire, he could have gotten burned and needed medical treatment, etc. Like I said, there's learning responsibility/independence, and then there's safety - I guess I wouldn't be willing to risk my young child's safety to teach them some lessons about responsibility/independence....

 

[Tacori E-ring]

I think the law in my state is 11. I know that is what it was when I was younger and the age I started babysitting.

 

[diamondringlover]

My oldest was home alone around age 13, he was pretty mature..my youngest spent some time alone in the summer when he was around age 11..but it was only for about a month and I had a good neighborhood support system and I worked 8 miles from home and got home around 2:45 and his older brother was home part of the time..so it wasnt too bad...

 

[ponder]

1 hour max with my 12 year old niece, who has a low maturity level. But probably the same amount of time for my 10 year old niece with higher maturity level. Really depends on the kid. Although I don't think I would be comfortable leaving any kid alone under the age of 10. But since these aren't my kids I am definitely being conservative.

 

[Dancing Fire]

at the age of 7 i was home alone for a couple of hrs during school days.my kids didn't stay home alone til they were 12 yrs old.