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Backyard Wedding vs. Wedding at a Venue

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paris29

Shiny_Rock
Joined
May 27, 2010
Messages
267
While I'm waiting for my ring, FF and I have started planning for our wedding. I found a local venue, that I love. But my mom suggested having the wedding at their (my parents) new house. I really like the idea, budget is not an issue but I think it would be nice to have the wedding and reception in a place I am familiar and comfortable with, but I need some ideas. My mom suggested doing a tent. There are lush gardens in the backyard and a spiral staircase, etc, so it should be a nice setting for pictures The property is fairly large but we will only be having between 20-25 guests any suggestions? Would you choose a venue or family home for your wedding and reception setting?
 
Home!

I love the idea of a home wedding. Its incredibly personal, romantic, and it will be a lovely reminder to you whenever you visit your parents house. I know budget isn't an issue, but it is still incredible to have a "free" venue. I'm sure it would be great to use those $$ elsewhere, even if its just to put away in a savings account for later.
 
If my parents had a yard big enough, or a house big enough.. or even his at that... I would def do a home wedding! A tent would be gorgeous, you can do great decorations with them, (white lights, chandeleirs) ive seen gorgeous pictures of tent weddings.. and the idea of being at home, as someone had already posted, is so personal. love it!
 
if you are only having 20-25 guests a home wedding would be lovely! (it could also work with more guests depending on the size of your property). you can bring in tents/chairs/decorations/even a dance floor to make it really special!
 
Home! If that had been an option for us we would have definitely done it! But then my favorite movie is Father of the Bride (Steve Martin version) where his daughter gets married at their home, so I'm kind of biased :))
 
I vote home also, for sure with a small number of people then you could do a lovely wedding!
 
Thank you everyone I definitely needed to reassurance, that it would work. I'm excited now. I'm having trouble finding pictures of tents, can anyone post any links or pictures.

february2003bride I love the Father of the Bride movies both 1 and 2, absolutely amazing. I didn't even think about the fact that they had the wedding at home till you mentioned it.
 
I vote for home! Backyard weddings can be done so beautifully.
 
Another vote for home wedding here!


I do wish that my parents has a beautiful big back yard that I could get married in.
 
I think it's a great idea if you're having 20-25 guests! Save some money on the venue, have it somewhere that you're comfortable, somewhere meaningful to you. Great!

As a thought, though, if you decided to have more guests, please consider how big your parents' home is. A close relative of mine got married in her *front* yard. Her parents' house is very small. Parking was crazy. The yard wasn't really large enough to accommodate the guests she had, which I would guess were 100+. The whole day was so hectic.

Also, I think she (wrongly) assumed a lot of things wouldn't have to be planned or thought of because she was at home... It's still your wedding though, and you want everything to go smoothly. Sorry - don't mean to seem like Debbie Downer - but I guess I'm trying to say not to get *too* comfortable and forget anything big.
 
Home vote here too! Esp for a small wedding. Use the money for amazing flowers instead :cheeky:
 
I love the intimate feeling of a home wedding--in fact, that's exactly what we wanted for our wedding, but nobody in our family has a large home. We ended up renting a beautiful home for our wedding, so technically it was a venue, but it still had that great homey feeling that we wanted. We had 30-something guests and I loved it. The fact that your wedding would take place at your parents' home just makes it that much better!

We didn't have a tent because the house we rented had a large piazza that could fit all of our tables, but I definitely think a tent is a safe choice just in case! Plus they can really look beautiful!

Some of the issues we sorted out before renting our place was:

1. Parking. We needed enough space for ~15 vehicles without any street parking. I actually called the town to find out if parking on this street was illegal and it was, so I made sure everybody parked in the driveway.
2. Making sure the wedding was legal. Apparently in our state homes have to be zoned a certain way in order to have a legal wedding. I don't know how this works because the homeowners told us that they had it zoned so that all weddings were legal there (apparently they had to go through a legal process to achieve this), but you may just want to look into it or call town hall. It may not be an issue in your state at all.
3. Setting up everything...and, of course, taking it down. If you rent a tent, I'm willing to be that the company you rent from will set up all of the tables/chairs for you, then take everything down. As I mentioned, we didn't rent a tent, so we just ordered tables/chairs/dishes from a rental company (cheaper than going through the caterer). The rental companies brought everything out the day before the wedding, then picked everything up the day after. So the morning of my wedding I was out with my family setting up tables. I enjoyed it, and since there were so few guests it was just like setting up for a dinner party. Taking everything down was the bigger pain. Early the next morning I was putting all of the dirty dishes in boxes to be taken back...just something to consider.
4. More planning in general. Having a wedding at home gives you a lot more flexibility. You're not tied to particular caterers or bakers or florists or set of linens. Sometimes it can feel like you have too many choices :) You have to figure out what kind of drinks to serve, how much alcohol to buy, where everything should be set up...plus, you have to make sure all of your vendors are somewhat familiar with the area. They're used to working with venues-I remember bringing directions to all of my appointments so they knew exactly where to go--I was so afraid of them not finding the house.
5. Bathrooms. We had two bathrooms on the main floor (plus more upstairs), which was fine. I just had to make sure everybody knew where they were!

Sorry for the novel--I'm really excited for you and think that you are going to love having a home wedding! With a small group of guests I found it to be pretty easy and a lot of fun!
 
Ditto to everything NEL wrote and also adding thinking about cost. Our at-home reception was really no cheaper than if we had used a venue, we just got to call more of the shots (and do more of the work). We wouldn't have had it another way, but I could see it being a problem for some.
 
paris29 said:
february2003bride I love the Father of the Bride movies both 1 and 2, absolutely amazing. I didn't even think about the fact that they had the wedding at home till you mentioned it.
Click to expand...

Funny, as soon as I read "backyard wedding" I immediately thought of father of the bride. Great movie, and beautiful wedding.
 
NewEnglandLady said:
I love the intimate feeling of a home wedding--in fact, that's exactly what we wanted for our wedding, but nobody in our family has a large home. We ended up renting a beautiful home for our wedding, so technically it was a venue, but it still had that great homey feeling that we wanted. We had 30-something guests and I loved it. The fact that your wedding would take place at your parents' home just makes it that much better!

We didn't have a tent because the house we rented had a large piazza that could fit all of our tables, but I definitely think a tent is a safe choice just in case! Plus they can really look beautiful!

Some of the issues we sorted out before renting our place was:

1. Parking. We needed enough space for ~15 vehicles without any street parking. I actually called the town to find out if parking on this street was illegal and it was, so I made sure everybody parked in the driveway.
2. Making sure the wedding was legal. Apparently in our state homes have to be zoned a certain way in order to have a legal wedding. I don't know how this works because the homeowners told us that they had it zoned so that all weddings were legal there (apparently they had to go through a legal process to achieve this), but you may just want to look into it or call town hall. It may not be an issue in your state at all.
3. Setting up everything...and, of course, taking it down. If you rent a tent, I'm willing to be that the company you rent from will set up all of the tables/chairs for you, then take everything down. As I mentioned, we didn't rent a tent, so we just ordered tables/chairs/dishes from a rental company (cheaper than going through the caterer). The rental companies brought everything out the day before the wedding, then picked everything up the day after. So the morning of my wedding I was out with my family setting up tables. I enjoyed it, and since there were so few guests it was just like setting up for a dinner party. Taking everything down was the bigger pain. Early the next morning I was putting all of the dirty dishes in boxes to be taken back...just something to consider.
4. More planning in general. Having a wedding at home gives you a lot more flexibility. You're not tied to particular caterers or bakers or florists or set of linens. Sometimes it can feel like you have too many choices :) You have to figure out what kind of drinks to serve, how much alcohol to buy, where everything should be set up...plus, you have to make sure all of your vendors are somewhat familiar with the area. They're used to working with venues-I remember bringing directions to all of my appointments so they knew exactly where to go--I was so afraid of them not finding the house.
5. Bathrooms. We had two bathrooms on the main floor (plus more upstairs), which was fine. I just had to make sure everybody knew where they were!

Sorry for the novel--I'm really excited for you and think that you are going to love having a home wedding! With a small group of guests I found it to be pretty easy and a lot of fun!
Click to expand...

Thank you so much everybody. NewEnglandLady I really appreciate your listing all the issues that I should take into considerations. When planning you often forget some things. I didn't even think about parking, thankfully my parents have a long drive so I think all the guest's car should fit, because our city doesn't allow parking on the street after a certain hour. And with a evening wedding that might be a problem. I never knew about the whole zoning issue, I'm going to have to look that up. Is it by city or by state? I think I found a cater, and if we go with them they also have rental things like tables, etc. I think I'll have fun planning everything, plus my mom also loves planning so that should be fun. There are several bathrooms in the house, I wonder what is a good way to go about letting everyone know where they are, so they don't have to constantly ask all night. I looked at few wedding magazines and saw some cute tent set up so I'm off to do more research.
 
Home, its more intimate, and if its less than 30, theres enough space. PLUS you dont have time restraints
 
I had to comment on this thread to say "yes" to a "back yard" wedding especially because in your case, the guest list is small and you said that your budget is flexible. I wanted to have my ceremony and reception at my parent's house, but when we started to add up the costs and considered the number of guests we'd have it was better for us to have it another venue.

So since we couldn't do it I am encouraging you! I think the idea of a wedding at your parents is a wonderful idea!
 
Yes, definitely go for the backyard wedding, that sounds so intimate!
 
in your case, I'll go with the backyard wedding. It's a new house. It must be pretty. Since you guys only have 30 ppl or so, it would be nice to have a private party with no restriction. Even though money is not the issue, at the end of the day, you get to save the money and use it on decorations and other stuff. I'm sure it will be very romantic and cozy. I'm excited for you!
 
another vote for backyard!!!! I think its just so intimate
 
Home would be fun but bathrooms and parking are always concerns. If the driveway will hold all the cars and you have several bathrooms I think you can handle a few dozen people. It sounds like a lovely place for your wedding.
 
Since you are planning for 20-25 people, a home wedding is a great choice. I strongly suggest hiring a wedding planner/coordinator to help you because there may be things that you don't think about that you will need to for a home wedding. For instance, certificates of insurance from vendors or the DJ, a permit from the town if you're having an event with more than X amount of people or having a dj or band outside, liquor issues, etc. A wedding coordinator/planner in your area should be familiar with all of these things that you'll need to take care of. It will probably cost about $1,000, but definitely worth the peace of mind and help with finding the perfect caterers/florists/dj/etc. They can also help find valets and portapotty rentals too! (don't think blue ones...there are upscale port-a-potties just for weddings, in case your guest list rises!)
 
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