Bah - Stupid economy!

[IrishEyes08]

I had posted recently about how BF is going to come into some extra money sporadically over the next few weeks/months. The first chunk came this morning and I will admit that *I* was thinking, Engagement Ring Time!!!

We looked all this past summer, have decided on a Spring/Fall 2010 wedding and I told him I''d like extra time to plan/save.

Anyway, we were talking about this money today and he told me he is socking it all away to build a nestegg in case either of us lose our jobs given the crap estate of our country''s economy. Any other time this would be a perfectly logical, smart thing in my opinion. But that little monster inside of me was jumping up and down and saying "WHAT ABOUT MY RING?!".

I can''t ask him about that, I''d feel like an idiot. He''s been waiting to get clearance for a new job for months (works for gov''t) and I know he''s a bit stressed about it all. So I can only vent here. In the grand scheme what''s more time? But in LIW-scheme WHAT ABOUT MY RING?!

 

[Lauren8211]

Bah! It''s so hard to be responsible when LIWitis is creeping in!

I know how you feel. Every time there is some financial blow to us, there''s always that little voice going "Ugh, Great, now my ring gets pushed back."

I never voice this, because it''s ridiculous. LOL. But yes, you''re not alone. I''ve felt that too!

 

[wannaBMrsH]

Have you guys talked about how much he will spend on your ring or how he is going to save for it?

My BF won''t tell me how much my ring cost (even though I found a receipt from a jeweler), but we did have a big financial "conference" a few weeks ago about how much money we need to have saved in case either one or both of us lose our jobs. He said that he had already taken the costs for my ring, and even the bulk of the wedding costs into the equation.

I know it''s not romantic to talk about money, but maybe if you two talk about where both of you see your future heading, you can point out where you can contribute to the savings plan, if not necessarily the ring plan. For example, you can let him know that you already have X amount of money saved to cover your credit card debt, or that you can take a hardship deferral on student loans in the case of a job loss, or how much you have in your 401k account up to now, etc.

That''s just my .02

Hang in there! The economy is hard on all of our LIWitis!

 

[LoveRoundBrillants]

i know exactly how you feel. My boyfriend gets bonuses quite often, and everytime he gets one i get really excited hoping he puts it toward my "ring fund" but he has hinting to me lately that its important to put money away right now in case something bad happens with jobs...yes i know practical but i cant help but wonder when my fourth finger on my left hand will have something very shiny on it

 

[Dreamgirl]

Date: 11/6/2008 9:08:48 AM
Author:IrishEyes08
He''s been waiting to get clearance for a new job for months (works for gov''t)

In the grand scheme what''s more time? But in LIW-scheme WHAT ABOUT MY RING?!

FF has been looking for a job with the government. (Public Administration) but it sure is taking a long time!!!!!!

This job, if he ever lands one will determine our entire future. I mean quite literally this is HUGE......if he ever lands one then we will know if he needs to go back to school for a masters, or if we can start planning our future more (including MY RING!) lol It will determine if an engagment is closer around the corner or further on down the road.........

 

[IrishEyes08]

We have had several frank discussions about money, debt, savings, the cost of the ring, etc. So generally I know how much the ring will cost, and what sort of savings we want to have in place to feel "safe". I have also contributed a small amount to the ring (heated topic here, I know), and that is already done.

I understand that we have to be prudent about our future, I really do. I just got excited at the idea that things were going to start really moving. Maybe they still are, who knows. He''s very well thought out about issues like this, so I''m sure there''s some sort of plan in his head.

 

[Keepingthefaith21]

I understand your woes completely. I''m more of the budgeter in my reltionship so I''m always the one saying "don''t buy a ring right now - there are bigger things we need to be concerned with". Because I feel so strongly that buying a ring would not be a beneficial investment we''ve been engaged for months without a ring. I never cared about the ring as much as I did the commitment behind the ring. FI understood where I was coming from and was able to put his pride aside and agree that a ring can wait.

As we have watched the ecomony spiral out of control we''ve decided that we may even get a temporary ring as a place holder until we can afford to spend lavishly on "the ring". I''m comfortable with our decisions. To be honest, I find it completely romantic that he wants to be married badly enough to move foward without a ring. He still proposed, I still cried and we''re happily planning our 2009 wedding!

 

[vita*dolce]

My boyfriend and I have had that discussion, too. I think it''s probably best for the time being to wait on engagement rings since they''re so expensive and so unnecessary, but i can''t help but be sad that i don''t have one. I wish my LIWitis could be cured by good logic!!

 

[HappyCat]

Irish, I completely understand how you are feeling! FF and I had a talk last night, and his words were "all I could afford to get you right now is a piece of tinfoil." Now he and I both make good money (he makes better money than I do), but he works in a very volatile industry (internet startup!) and he actually had a company unexpectedly go under while he was working for them this past summer. So he insists on having at least a 3 month pad for rent/utilities/living expenses in case it happens again, and he is very hesitant to spend money. I''m a health care professional building a practice right now, so I''m not yet bringing in enough to support the two of us if he were to suddenly lose his job. I know that he is absolutely right, but there''s that little selfish part of me that''s thinking "well, that pushes my ring off for another 6 months." I can''t say anything to him of course, so it''s nice to have this board to vent to. Hang in there ladies! We''ll get each other through this.

HappyCat