bee*, Delster and other Irish ladies: Question about Irish boys!

[iheartscience]

Hi Irish PSers...I have a random question for you and I couldn''t find the thread where someone talked about it first.

My sister is hanging out with an Irish boy, and I remember someone (I think bee* or Delster) saying that boys in Ireland don''t ever hit on girls and aren''t sleazy, and that they don''t usually go out on "dates," but mostly just hang out in groups of friends. I was trying to tell her what I read here on PS but now I can''t find the thread! So does anyone care to expand on Irish male dating behavior so I can pass along some tips?

 

[Delster]

She's hanging out with him and she likes him is it?

And he's not making a move? Only one solution - get him drunk

ETA - here's the thread. And by the way, no, I don't usually advocate drugging someone with alcohol and then lepping on them! Thing do tell us a wee bit more and we might have some advice...

 

[iheartscience]

Date: 5/25/2008 11:20:29 AM
Author: Delster
She''s hanging out with him and she likes him is it?

And he''s not making a move? Only one solution - get him drunk

ETA - here''s the thread. And by the way, no, I don''t usually advocate drugging someone with alcohol and then lepping on them! Thing do tell us a wee bit more and we might have some advice...

Hahaha! Yes, she likes him and apparently he likes her, but he''s definitely not making any moves! I''ll tell her to get him drunk!

Okay, here''s a somewhat condensed version of the story: we all play on a soccer team together (me, my fiance, my sister, Irish boy), but my sister''s recently become single and she always thought he was cute, so she wants to hang out, go on dates, etc. So we''ve hung out on occasion in groups because we''ll go get drinks after some of our soccer games.

So Wednesday we hung out with him and his friends, and apparently Irish boy told our mutual (male) friend (who is also on our soccer team) that he likes my sister.

So Irish boy and sister were supposed to hang out yesterday, but his (male) friend came in from out of town so he called my sister and said he had to hang out with his friend but he would text her later. I was not impressed, but he called her at like 1 in the afternoon to tell her he couldn''t hang out later that night, so I guess it wasn''t a brush off.

So then he texted her last night and she said it took him about 20-30 minutes of texts back and forth to finally ask her to come meet him at this bar!

 

[iheartscience]

Okay, let me continue...I had to post something because it was taking me forever to describe the situation! Anyways, I guess she could use some advice on how Irish boys operate and how she should proceed, because American boys are a lot more forward, which is what we are used to! (For the most part, we wait for the boys to ask us out, go on dates, etc., and obviously that''s not happening with this Irish boy!)

 

[Delster]

Is it just the two of them going to the bar? My first guess would be that he's petrified at the concept of a 'date'. The 20-30 minutes of texting was cos he was trying to find out if he could orchestrate a group of people being in the bar. We don't go to bars in pairs here. Just doesn't happen.

Advice on texting Irish boys - end every text with a question mark. Otherwise you will never get a reply. Unless there's a question mark there it won't occur to them to reply!

How old is this guy? How long has he been in the States? Is he a J1-er?

ETA - a word to the wise, if the male friend is also Irish, chances are that said friend is expecting to be taken out for drinks tonight. In a group.

 

[iheartscience]

Date: 5/25/2008 11:48:09 AM
Author: Delster
Is it just the two of them going to the bar? My first guess would be that he''s petrified at the concept of a ''date''. The 20-30 minutes of texting was cos he was trying to find out if he could orchestrate a group of people being in the bar. We don''t go to bars in pairs here. Just doesn''t happen.


Advice on texting Irish boys - end every text with a question mark. Otherwise you will never get a reply. Unless there''s a question mark there it won''t occur to them to reply!

How old is this guy? How long has he been in the States? Is he a J1-er?


ETA - a word to the wise, if the male friend is also Irish, chances are that said friend is expecting to be taken out for drinks tonight. In a group.

No, it was a group of him and his friends, and she was with her friend, but he just wouldn''t come out and ask her to come meet him in the texting! But I think you''re on to something about the date thing-he probably is scared! He is 30ish, and he''s been in the States for about 10 years. I''m not sure what a J1-er is (I know it''s a visa), but he actually just became a U.S. citizen.

Also, brilliant idea about the ending a text with a question mark! I will pass that along for sure! You should see the texts he was writing-he was giving her nothing to go on! It actually took 45 minutes for her to get him to sort of ask her to come over to the bar he was at with his guy friends!

 

[Delster]

He sounds familiar, ha ha! Is he on the West coast, name begins with R, works in computers?

J1-ers are the hordes of Irish students who go over for the Summer every year. I asked because that would make him (a) new to the States and (b) young.

On the texting, he''s trying to play it cool. Also, if there''s a big gang in the bar he might be nervous about her meeting all his pals. They will tease him mercilessly!

Just one last thing to check on - she''s sure it''s not a lads night out only? That mightn''t be the reason for the run-around this afternoon?

 

[iheartscience]

Date: 5/25/2008 12:14:55 PM
Author: Delster
He sounds familiar, ha ha! Is he on the West coast, name begins with R, works in computers?

J1-ers are the hordes of Irish students who go over for the Summer every year. I asked because that would make him (a) new to the States and (b) young.


On the texting, he''s trying to play it cool. Also, if there''s a big gang in the bar he might be nervous about her meeting all his pals. They will tease him mercilessly!


Just one last thing to check on - she''s sure it''s not a lads night out only? That mightn''t be the reason for the run-around this afternoon?

Hahaha-nope, that''s not him! It wasn''t a lads night out only-some of their female friends were there, too. (It was yesterday and last night, by the way, so it already happened, but I''m sure it''s bound to happen again so I know she needs your tips!)

I think he was just being shy, but he definitely wanted to hang out because she got there she said hi to him and then she and her friend went to the bar and got drinks and were hanging out there, and he came right over and hung out with them for the rest of the night.

Hahaha-this sounds so convoluted-I love all the drama that ensues when people first start hanging out-it''s so funny and cute to hear her obsess over every detail! I''ve been with my fiance for 5 years so I''ve been out of the dating loop for quite a while, so I forgot how maddening and funny it can be!

 

[Delster]

Gosh I know, just look at us aul ones living vicariously through your sister!

I'm feeling all warm and fuzzy just reading about it! Completely gratuitous question but is she swooning over his accent?

People who are just getting together are just so cuuuute

OK if he left his friends and went and stood talking to two women all night that is a definite sign of interest

Woohoo! Now the only way anything more will happen is if (a) they end up alone (this will probably have to happen 'by accident') or (b) someone sits him down and tells him to take his finger out and make a move.

You won't get this but the other Irish girls will - I feel like I'm turning into Cilla Black!

 

[purrfectpear]

How about you and FI invite him over for a BBQ at one of your places after the next game. Naturally your sister goes also. Then it''s still like a "group" but in obvious couples where the sister can talk with him one on one.

 

[iheartscience]

Date: 5/25/2008 1:08:49 PM
Author: Delster
Gosh I know, just look at us aul ones living vicariously through your sister!

I''m feeling all warm and fuzzy just reading about it! Completely gratuitous question but is she swooning over his accent?

People who are just getting together are just so cuuuute

OK if he left his friends and went and stood talking to two women all night that is a definite sign of interest

Woohoo! Now the only way anything more will happen is if (a) they end up alone (this will probably have to happen ''by accident'') or (b) someone sits him down and tells him to take his finger out and make a move.


You won''t get this but the other Irish girls will - I feel like I''m turning into Cilla Black!

Hahaha-I know! I''m loving the drama! It makes me think of when I first started dating my fiance...so cute. It''s so funny-she''s been talking nonstop about it, and I have been, too, but the other night she was trying to talk to my fiance about it (they''re good friends) and he was like "Can you stop talking constantly about him?!" Hahaha-I guess guys don''t enjoy the love connections as much as we girls do!

And yes, of course she is swooning over the accent! That and the blue eyes! (As two girls with brown eyes, we both have a thing for blue-eyed boys!) His accent is actually pretty easy to understand, but we play on another soccer team with a few other Irish boys and I swear that I can''t understand a word they say! I guess they haven''t been in the U.S. as long, or maybe they''re from different parts of Ireland where there are different accents? I don''t know them that well so I''m not sure where they''re from.

I''ll let her know she needs to "accidentally" end up with him alone! I mean, he hasn''t even tried to give her a kiss! You are so right about them only hanging out in groups of friends! Or if I get a few drinks in me, I might be the person who tells him to ask her on a date already!

I''m off to Google Cilla Black!

 

[iheartscience]

Date: 5/25/2008 1:23:32 PM
Author: purrfectpear
How about you and FI invite him over for a BBQ at one of your places after the next game. Naturally your sister goes also. Then it''s still like a ''group'' but in obvious couples where the sister can talk with him one on one.

Good idea-we''re definitely going to have to engineer something like that! Maybe we can do something tomorrow for Memorial Day...

 

[innerkitten]

can''t really generalize since it''s a country with lots of people. My husbands on a soccer team here in San Francisco thats about 80% Irish guys. Most of the Irish guys on the team are very charming and like to drink a lot . I don''t know them well enough to tell what they are really like though.

 

[Delster]

The accents are ridiculously diverse. Literally you drive an hour down the road and the accent changes completely. I would bet money that bee and I have very different accents even though where we grew up is only just over an hour apart. I'd also bet money those boys you can't understand are probably from the very most southern counties. Either that or they're from way up north. One or other of the extremes!

The BBQ idea sounds lovely! Can I come too?

 

[bee*]

Date: 5/25/2008 3:04:55 PM
Author: Delster
The accents are ridiculously diverse. Literally you drive an hour down the road and the accent changes completely. I would bet money that bee and I have very different accents even though where we grew up is only just over an hour apart. I''d also bet money those boys you can''t understand are probably from the very most southern counties. Either that or they''re from way up north. One or other of the extremes!

lol!! (Love the new avatar by the way!)


Thing2-Any Irish men that I know have taken forever to get with the girl they like. D and I got together in ten days which was very quick but I do agree with Deslter''s idea-get him drunk

When I was in New York in January, I remember there was this stunning girl in one of the stores and this guy was walking past and he actually came into the store, walked up to her and said "damn, you''re gorgeous". My sister and I were just like, an Irish man would never do that!! He''d wait outside, pretend not to be looking at her and then be disappointed when she went past him.

 

[Delster]

Try eighteen months bee! And we were housemates so not like he was short of opportunities of seeing me!

Your comparision between Irish and American guys' chat-up techniques is so true! None of the American guys I met on exchange over here ever mangaed to score. The Irish girls were disgusted with them. And the poor American girls were so frustrated with the Irish boys!

Thing2, maybe it'd help if your sister understood that Irish girls are very self-assured. Very straight talking. Definitely the boss at home etc. The usual procedure is that the man makes the first move - but the girl is never surprised by it cos she's given him the cue to do so first!

Anyway I just had a thought. Tell your sister to get him to teach her Gaelic football instead of soccer. Hands-on tackling is permitted

ETA - thanks for the compliments on the avatar

It's a temporary thing, to cheer Gwen up!

 

[bee*]

18 months!!! That''s extreme even for an Irish man!! I totally agree with you on the Irish girls being very self assured-we know what we want, and we usually get it

Definitely the boss at home-all the men that come in to our clinic always have to check it "with the boss" before they make a decision on anything. I''ve always appreciated Irish men more when I come home after being abroad-there''s something very nice about the fact that they''re not extremely confident. In fact I think that you could lay it all out on a plate for most of them and they wouldn''t even notice

 

[Delster]

Ha ha, my Mam bought my Dad this mug that says ''I''m the boss here - and I have my wife''s permission to say so.''

But she also bought herself one that said ''You''d have to be mad to work here. Or else be sleeping with the boss.''

 

[bee*]

haha! My mother would love something like that! I was just talking to D about how Irish men are very slow on the uptake and his answer was "feck off"! He obviously couldn''t dispute that fact

 

[Pandora II]

I dated a guy from Belfast for 7 years.

He was pretty quick on the uptake - two weeks, but I had to take control. I dragged him out of the pub for a walk on the beach and basically jumped on him...

 

[brazen_irish_hussy]

I met one forward Irish boy while I was living over there and out without my FI one night. He was talking with our group and asked about my background as I have an Irish name to which he responded "what county is your family from?" One of my Irish friends chased him off, but she explained to me that is how Irish guys hit on American girls and when they ask that question, they are trying to pick you up. I never would have guessed that, but she said it was very forward of him.

 

[iheartscience]

Date: 5/25/2008 2:00:01 PM
Author: innerkitten
can''t really generalize since it''s a country with lots of people. My husbands on a soccer team here in San Francisco thats about 80% Irish guys. Most of the Irish guys on the team are very charming and like to drink a lot . I don''t know them well enough to tell what they are really like though.

Yep-"charming and like drink a lot" describes all the Irish boys on my soccer teams!

 

[iheartscience]

Date: 5/25/2008 3:04:55 PM
Author: Delster
The accents are ridiculously diverse. Literally you drive an hour down the road and the accent changes completely. I would bet money that bee and I have very different accents even though where we grew up is only just over an hour apart. I''d also bet money those boys you can''t understand are probably from the very most southern counties. Either that or they''re from way up north. One or other of the extremes!


The BBQ idea sounds lovely! Can I come too?

Of course you can come! Hope on the nearest plane and I''ll pick you up from the airport! You can tell my sister''s Irish boy to make a move already-we American girls like boys to move a little quicker!

That''s interesting about the accents-I''ll find out where they''re all from the next time my sister drags this old married lady out to a bar so she can flirt with the Irish boy!

 

[iheartscience]

Date: 5/25/2008 3:38:16 PM
Author: bee*

Date: 5/25/2008 3:04:55 PM

Author: Delster

The accents are ridiculously diverse. Literally you drive an hour down the road and the accent changes completely. I would bet money that bee and I have very different accents even though where we grew up is only just over an hour apart. I''d also bet money those boys you can''t understand are probably from the very most southern counties. Either that or they''re from way up north. One or other of the extremes!

lol!! (Love the new avatar by the way!)



Thing2-Any Irish men that I know have taken forever to get with the girl they like. D and I got together in ten days which was very quick but I do agree with Deslter''s idea-get him drunk

When I was in New York in January, I remember there was this stunning girl in one of the stores and this guy was walking past and he actually came into the store, walked up to her and said ''damn, you''re gorgeous''. My sister and I were just like, an Irish man would never do that!! He''d wait outside, pretend not to be looking at her and then be disappointed when she went past him.

That''s it-she''s going to have to ply him with alcohol! And that''s hilarious about what the Irish man would do if he saw a gorgeous girl!

 

[iheartscience]

Date: 5/25/2008 3:57:44 PM
Author: Delster
Try eighteen months bee! And we were housemates so not like he was short of opportunities of seeing me!

Your comparision between Irish and American guys'' chat-up techniques is so true! None of the American guys I met on exchange over here ever mangaed to score. The Irish girls were disgusted with them. And the poor American girls were so frustrated with the Irish boys!


Thing2, maybe it''d help if your sister understood that Irish girls are very self-assured. Very straight talking. Definitely the boss at home etc. The usual procedure is that the man makes the first move - but the girl is never surprised by it cos she''s given him the cue to do so first!


Anyway I just had a thought. Tell your sister to get him to teach her Gaelic football instead of soccer. Hands-on tackling is permitted

ETA - thanks for the compliments on the avatar

It''s a temporary thing, to cheer Gwen up!

Well she can definitely take control, so I''ll tell her that''ll be her best bet! We''re both pretty much always the bosses in our relationships!

That is hilarious abouot Gaelic football-he was actually just talking about it on Wednesday at the bar. Maybe she can get him to teach her some tackling techniques!

Hahaha-she''s going to kill me when she sees this! I told her I started a thread and I showed it to her when there were only a few replies and she got all paranoid like he was going to find it! I was like "Yes, the 30ish Irish man you''re hanging out with is going to be online in the Diamond Hangout section of Pricescope."

 

[iheartscience]

Date: 5/25/2008 6:39:08 PM
Author: Pandora II
I dated a guy from Belfast for 7 years.


He was pretty quick on the uptake - two weeks, but I had to take control. I dragged him out of the pub for a walk on the beach and basically jumped on him...

Seems like that''s what she''s going to have to do! Get him drunk and pounce!

 

[iheartscience]

Date: 5/25/2008 7:08:22 PM
Author: brazen_irish_hussy
I met one forward Irish boy while I was living over there and out without my FI one night. He was talking with our group and asked about my background as I have an Irish name to which he responded ''what county is your family from?'' One of my Irish friends chased him off, but she explained to me that is how Irish guys hit on American girls and when they ask that question, they are trying to pick you up. I never would have guessed that, but she said it was very forward of him.

Ha! If that''s as forward as they get, that''s not bad at all!

 

[icekid]

Date: 5/25/2008 1:08:49 PM
Author: Delster
Gosh I know, just look at us aul ones living vicariously through your sister!

I''m feeling all warm and fuzzy just reading about it! Completely gratuitous question but is she swooning over his accent?

People who are just getting together are just so cuuuute

Oh lord... how sad. I am totally enjoying reading this thread too. The beginngs of new relationships are so much fun! I don''t get much of that kind of drama anymore. But that''s not necessarily a bad thing, being married and all. heee

thing- let us know how it works out for your sis!

 

[iheartscience]

Date: 5/26/2008 8:10:47 AM
Author: icekid

Date: 5/25/2008 1:08:49 PM

Author: Delster

Gosh I know, just look at us aul ones living vicariously through your sister!

I''m feeling all warm and fuzzy just reading about it! Completely gratuitous question but is she swooning over his accent?

People who are just getting together are just so cuuuute

Oh lord... how sad. I am totally enjoying reading this thread too. The beginngs of new relationships are so much fun! I don''t get much of that kind of drama anymore. But that''s not necessarily a bad thing, being married and all. heee


thing- let us know how it works out for your sis!

Hahaha-I''m with you on the drama! It''s fun, but I don''t know that I really miss it! And I''ll keep you posted!

 

[Delster]

Hellooooo any news on Thing1 and the Buachaill ón Éirne?