Big weekend coming up for us!

[Jewels305]

My bf and I have been togther for 1yr and 8 months, and Saturday our parents are FINALLY going to meet. We will all be going out for lunch (though I haven''t figured out where yet). I can''t believe that they haven''t met already, but life just gets in the way sometimes and we kept putting it off for a more convenient time down the road (even though we really did want them to meet).

I am very nervous and excited at the same time. It is really important to me that they get along because I am close with my parents, and it would be very uncomfortable for me if they did not get along with his parents. My main concern is that I don''t know what they will talk about! My parents are very outgoing and friendly and could probably get a wall to join in a conversation if they really wanted, haha. His parents are very nice, but they are quieter and more reserved than mine, so I hope that mine balance his out, and that we all have a good time! I think another reason that I am nervous is because my parents have never met any of my ex-boyfriends'' parents before, probably because I knew the relationships weren''t going anywhere. So this is all new to me!

Anyone want to share their experiences with this? I would be interested to hear how things went and what you talked about! Hopefully no one has any horror stories!

eeek wish us luck!!

 

[luckystar112]

AWWWWW congrats on your parents meeting!!

I''ve been with my bf for over four years and our parents havent'' met yet.
Probably won''t meet until the wedding day either! (They live in different states.)

So, obviously I can''t give you advice, but I can wish you good luck!

 

[Sassee]

Oooh very exciting. I hope they all get along well and that the conversation flows freely.

And wow - LuckyStar112. 4 years!! That''s a long time! My boy and I have been together for 5 years and I think after a couple of months his parents invited mine to stay down at their country property!! Luckily they all hit it off. Hopefully your parents can meet before the wedding - maybe you can co-ordinate something when you get engaged?

 

[diamondfan]

I am sure it is scary, it would seem so momentous, but hopefully all anyone wants is to have a nice meal and get to know eachother. Your parents will likely do more talking since that is their way and his folks might be quieter. Just do not let that get you flustered. Just as you might mention to your mom and dad that his folks are on the more quiet side, he might let his parents know how outgoing your mom and dad are. That is fine, everyone is different, but sometimes I find if you do not know someone is quiet, you might think it is a lack of liking you, and then get nervous and talk even more! Silence is tough when you just meet someone, it is not comfortable like it can be when you know someone better. Just having a bit of a heads up on personality might help...I am sure all will be fine.

 

[luckystar112]

Date: 8/2/2007 1:49:37 AM
Author: Sassee
Oooh very exciting. I hope they all get along well and that the conversation flows freely.

And wow - LuckyStar112. 4 years!! That''s a long time! My boy and I have been together for 5 years and I think after a couple of months his parents invited mine to stay down at their country property!! Luckily they all hit it off. Hopefully your parents can meet before the wedding - maybe you can co-ordinate something when you get engaged?

I know...weird huh? Well my parents live in Maine, and BF''s parents live in Virginia...soooo?
But on the other hand, BF has a brother who is married, and as far as I know BF''s parents and his sister in law''s parents aren''t "friends" or anything. And they live in the same town!! I think they probably say hello to eachother if they see eachother out, and I know that they buy eachother a xmas gift (as a "thank you for sharing your daughter" type of gift)...but I think that''s as far as their friendship goes. lol

 

[Sassee]

Date: 8/2/2007 2:37:00 AM
Author: luckystar112

Date: 8/2/2007 1:49:37 AM
Author: Sassee
Oooh very exciting. I hope they all get along well and that the conversation flows freely.

And wow - LuckyStar112. 4 years!! That''s a long time! My boy and I have been together for 5 years and I think after a couple of months his parents invited mine to stay down at their country property!! Luckily they all hit it off. Hopefully your parents can meet before the wedding - maybe you can co-ordinate something when you get engaged?

I know...weird huh? Well my parents live in Maine, and BF''s parents live in Virginia...soooo?
But on the other hand, BF has a brother who is married, and as far as I know BF''s parents and his sister in law''s parents aren''t ''friends'' or anything. And they live in the same town!! I think they probably say hello to eachother if they see eachother out, and I know that they buy eachother a xmas gift (as a ''thank you for sharing your daughter'' type of gift)...but I think that''s as far as their friendship goes. lol

I guess its not really that weird - everyone is different!!

I''m embarrassed to say it but you might have to explain the geographical distance between Maine and Virginia (I''m not from around here!! In fact, I''m from the other end of the earth). I''m sure that when your parents do meet though, it will all be great - hey, at least they have something in common right? - YOU GUYS!!

 

[Delster]

Our parents haven''t met yet either and we''ve been together four years. They don''t live near each other and never have occasion to be in each other''s ''neck of the woods''. Any meeting will have to be ''arranged'' and at this stage it''d all feel so awkward and contrived! They seriously would assume we were announcing our engagement!

This is exciting for you guys! I can completely understand that you''re nervous. It sounds like your parents for sure will keep the conversation going. I''m sure it will go great. Be sure to let us know how you get on!

 

[sleeping beauty]

jewels i know exactly how you feel. last year when our parents met for the first time i thought i was going to have a panic attact. my mother is well educated my dad a little well lets just say ghetto for lack of a better word. his parents are part of the goverment, so know imagine my stress thinking my dad will screw everything over. To top it off they were only going to be here for 2 days and both days boyfriend and i were working. which meant they were going to meet each other by themselves. well to finish off a long story, they appear to like each other, my mom had to cover up a few of my dad ooopppss moments but she said they barely noticed... so no worries jewels everything will turn out just fine!!!!

 

[Pandora II]

FI and I have been living together for 3 years and our parents still haven''t met.

My mother wants to have them to stay for a weekend - FI and I are going to keep well away! FI''s parents are divorced and remarried.

His mother and her husband are both vicars and my parents are both atheist, but I think they''ll really, really get on well. FI''s father is a doctor as is mine and both like ''junk'' shopping so no problems there, but his new wife is a total nightmare who is pretty much loathed by FI and his 3 brothers. She is about as far removed from the sort of people my parents are as is possible to get. Even I struggle with her if we meet for lunch - so who knows how a whole weekend will go

 

[Haven]

Jewels, I understand how scary it can be when the parents meet for the first time but I''m sure it will be fine! Especially if your parents are outgoing they''ll probably keep the conversation up.

My parents met BF''s dad (his mom passed away before we started dating) when we had been dating for a little over a year, and we''ve been together for over three years now. BF''s dad invited my family over for a holiday celebration, and I was NERVOUS! BF is ten years older than I am, and his father is 15 years old than my parents, so I thought What the heck are they going to talk about?! Well, they got on great and now our families have been getting together for almost every religious holiday since.

I''d look at this as a bonding moment for you and your BF--you''ll be able to sit there and watch the awkwardness of a first meeting unfold together! I''m just kidding, it will be great, Jewels!

 

[bee*]

My parents and D''s parents first met two months after we started going out and they see each other a couple of times a year but they wouldn''t really be friends as such. They get along with is grand. Best of luck for the weekend!!

 

[urban venus]

The first meeting is always a bit unnerving. My BF (of 3 years) and I avoided the "parents meeting" thing until last month when everyone (parents and siblings!) came to help us move into our new house. Everything went off without a hitch mainly because both sides were so excited for us. When the conversation would lull someone would bring up something to do with my BF or I and the conversation would pick back up again. They had a constant source of conversation- us! Just remember that your parents love you- his parents love him and everyone ultimately wants the best for the people they care about. Good luck! Let us know how it goes!

 

[Jewels305]

Wow Luckystar and Delster! 4 years and they still haven't met!! But it's understandable because of the geographic distance between them. BF and I still live with our parents since we've both only been out of college for a year, and I am going back for grad school full time in September. Our families are only 40 minutes apart, no excuse to put it off anymore!


Sassee, for reference, Maine and Virginia are around 900 miles apart! My distance is only about 25 miles.

Thank you everyone who has responded so far with encouragement and stories! Keep those stories coming, I enjoy reading them!

 

[redfaerythinker]

I''m sure it will go alright. Well... i''m sure it won''t be as weird as when my mom met my bf''s parents! My mother met them at my father''s funeral. But it actually went quite well and they got to meet not only my mom but my grandparents as well. I guess all I really have to say is to just relax and it will be alright. Good luck!

 

[Jewels305]

Oh wow redfaerythinker, fortunately my parents won''t be meeting under those circumstances. But I''m glad that it worked out well for you! It was very considerate of his parents to attend; I think it''s safe to say they like you a lot.

I''m sure you, your mother and grandmother all appreciated them being there. Thanks for the encouragement!!

 

[monarch64]

I hope everything goes well for your families Jewel! (Julie!)

Our parents didn''t ALL meet until the actual wedding weekend! When DH and I had been living together for about a year and after he''d proposed, my mom drove up about 5 hours to Chicago and met with DH''s parents and stayed for the weekend, and my mom and I and my MIL went to our ceremony/reception site to work out some details as well. It was nice, both of our sets of parents come from similar backgrounds and they actually had plenty to talk about and really liked each other. My dad hates to travel and stayed behind that weekend, but when he came up with my mom for our wedding it was great. He got to meet everyone involved at the rehearsal and dinner, and the rest of the weekend went well. Now that we''ve been married for almost 4 years, the parents still send each other Christmas cards and random emails, and there have been some phone convos as well, so I trust that when we have children everything will be fine enough. Good luck to you again!

 

[cherry_vanilla]

Oh man, my boyfriend and I have been together for like 3 1/2 years and our parents still haven''t met... they live only 3 MILES apart! I thought it was normal for the parents not to meet until close to if not at the wedding festivities (kind of like "not getting your hopes up" if it doesn''t work out before then) but maybe we''re the ones who have it all backwards

 

[Jewels305]

Cherry_vanilla-- It''s actually funny that you say that, because when BF told his mother months ago that he wanted his parents to meet my parents she said, "Why, are you getting married?" He responded, "Yes eventually." To which she responded, "Oh, ok. That''s good, but no rush, you''re both still young."

So I can see your point about not wanting your parents to meet because it might get everyone''s hopes up, and I know that a lot of couples don''t have their parents meet until the engagement or wedding festivities. However, in my family and social circile most couples have their parents meet early on.

Hopefully his mother doesn''t secretly think we''re going to announce our engagement at lunch tomorrow

 

[Jewels305]

Well we had our lunch yesterday, and it went well! I felt very awkward going into it, and I am sure our parents did also. They had plenty to talk about and there really weren''t any awkward silences. My parents both told me today that they liked his parents, they think they are "very nice". My BF hasn''t had a chance to feel his parents out about their thoughts, but I am sure they liked my parents as well.

So aside from my parents feeling that they had to tell an embarrassing story about me (

), I am pleased with how it went. Now I hope to get them together every once in a while, maybe a cookout or something.

 

[Sassee]

I am really glad to hear it all went well

And thanks for the geography lesson a couple of posts back. Ha ha!

 

[diamondfan]

I am really glad it went well, now it is out of the way!

There should be a law that parents cannot tell embarassing stories about their kids like that. I am 41 and have been married 17 years and my mom STILL talks about how spoiled and boy crazy I was when I young...duh, is this really necessary NOW? Jeeze, get some new material.

 

[ladyciel]

I''m late to this thread, but let me say I think my parents have you all beat. My grandparents have NEVER met. Three of them are still living, but they''re on opposite ends of the continent (not to mention from different worlds....). I''m thinking if they ever meet, it will be at my wedding. Since my FF and my parents haven''t met (mine are in FL, his in PA), and I don''t know if they will before the wedding, there''s a chance I could have 2 generations of parents meeting for the first time that weekend. I''m not worried about the younger set - we''re pretty sure they''ll get along, but boy could my grandparents meeting be awkward.

So glad to hear your lunch went well, Jewels! Don''t worry about the embarrassing story. Years of marriage will give you plenty of fuel about DH to slip to his parents to even the score.

 

[Delster]

Date: 8/2/2007 5:09:38 PM
Author: Jewels305
Wow Luckystar and Delster! 4 years and they still haven''t met!! But it''s understandable because of the geographic distance between them. BF and I still live with our parents since we''ve both only been out of college for a year, and I am going back for grad school full time in September. Our families are only 40 minutes apart, no excuse to put it off anymore!


Sassee, for reference, Maine and Virginia are around 900 miles apart! My distance is only about 25 miles.

Uhmmmm... well we''re ''only'' talking about 200 miles in my case, nothing like 900 miles!!! It''s still a five hour drive though...

Jewels I''m so glad to hear that everything went off well! And parents always will insist on telling embarrassing stories, won''t they? I had a graduation ceremony recently and over drinks that night my parents found it incumbent to tell BF about my primary school sex ed classes?!?!?

And Ladyciel, wow, you do have us all beat!

 

[whenharrymetsally]

jewels! Exciting to have the family meet!!!!

i''m a little embarassed to say..but um... my ''fiance'' and i have been together for EIGHT years and um... my mother is just meeting his dad and stepmom for the FIRST TIME this coming sunday!!! My mother and his mother are friends and had met years ago, but we just never had her meet his Dad and/or stepmom! I''m extremely nervous and stressed about this!!!! My mother is chinese, but quite westernized (i think that''s why she gets along with is mom who is also chinese but very westernized), but his dad and stepmother are quite traditional. Ugh! This is going to be quite scary!

Good luck! and hope all goes well!!!! What gets funny is when your parents start to make plans to go out without you and your SO present! hahah We used to freak out when his mom would tell us that she and my mom were going out for lunch or shopping and we weren''t even invited!!!!!

 

[Hoping&Waiting]

Im late on this thread but thought it was interesting. Im sooo glad the initial meeting went well!!! Sometimes its hard with my parents generation anyway because they can be somewhat stuck in their ways; and when they meet others, they become slightly opinionated. This would be an example of my parents anyway!

Im glad to hear everything went well for you and I hope for smooth communication from here on out!

 

[Jewels305]

Thank you Sassee, Diamondfan, ladyciel, Delster, and Hoping&Waiting! I am glad to have the initial meeting out of the way, hopefully it will be easier to arrange a future get together.

whenharrymetsally- thank you also, and good luck with your mother meeting your fiance''s father and step mother! I hope it goes well. Don''t stress out about it because even though your mother is Westernized while his dad and step mom are traditional, they all have the same interest, the two of you!! So good luck and let me know how it goes!

 

[monarch64]

So happy for you that the parental meeting went well, Jewels!!! I hope everything else goes so smoothly for you, and all involved.

 

[IrishAngel7982]

I''m glad everything went well, Jewels!