Bleh, I''m having a day.

[nebe]

Sometimes I think having a rock on my finger would make life easier to cope with.

Like I could just look down and there''s a constant reminder that my (or your!) future hubby is waiting for me while I go through the day-to-day monotony. And when I get home he''ll give me a big hug and make me feel better. The ring isn''t a materialistic thing to me, it''s a sign that I''m really going to be taken care of. That I''m as loved as I love him. (Did that sentence make any sense?)



...but that''s just me.

Apparently he doesn''t feel the same way about diamonds.

 

[decodelighted]

I hear ya ... but I think you might be *slightly* overestimating the power of an e-ring. Do you watch "The Hills"?? Do you *really* think Spencer''s maul store candy-colored $199 special purchased thoughtlessly & w/o even being SIZED really says Heidi will be "taken care of" .. yanno??

A relationship still *is* the same relationship -- with or without a ring. Your guy is the type of guy who will "take care of you" or not. I honestly think some dudes just THROW rings at girls and it symbolizes NOTHING ....

You can still get a hug at the end of the day W/ or w/o B-L-I-N-G.

 

[iwannaprettyone]

Date: 9/5/2007 1:48:35 PM
Author: decodelighted
I hear ya ... but I think you might be *slightly* overestimating the power of an e-ring. Do you watch ''The Hills''?? Do you *really* think Spencer''s maul store candy-colored $199 special purchased thoughtlessly & w/o even being SIZED really says Heidi will be ''taken care of'' .. yanno??

A relationship still *is* the same relationship -- with or without a ring. Your guy is the type of guy who will ''take care of you'' or not. I honestly think some dudes just THROW rings at girls and it symbolizes NOTHING ....

You can still get a hug at the end of the day W/ or w/o B-L-I-N-G.

Deco, you are WRONG...my ring has given me superpowers, I can now do the laser eye thingy, freezing breath, and have the capability of being invisible on demand...LMAO.

To be honest, it doesn''t change much (other than a ton of stress of having to plan something). It is nice to know that the ''commitment'' is official but if you already know they''re "the one" it doesn''t change much of anything. If you''re happy with your life now you will be happy post ring same goes for the opposite.

Hang in there, these things have a way of working themselves out for the best...

 

[nebe]

Date: 9/5/2007 1:48:35 PM
Author: decodelighted
I hear ya ... but I think you might be *slightly* overestimating the power of an e-ring. Do you watch ''The Hills''?? Do you *really* think Spencer''s maul store candy-colored $199 special purchased thoughtlessly & w/o even being SIZED really says Heidi will be ''taken care of'' .. yanno??

A relationship still *is* the same relationship -- with or without a ring. Your guy is the type of guy who will ''take care of you'' or not. I honestly think some dudes just THROW rings at girls and it symbolizes NOTHING ....

You can still get a hug at the end of the day W/ or w/o B-L-I-N-G.

Oh no no, I understand that! I love Pi, and he loves me, we live together (in sin! haha) and we''ve been very happy thoughtout our relationship. In my last relationship I spent four years following him around (through college) with the promise of marriage after, only to find that in the end I was alone with four years wasted and terrified I might have gotten a disease from him (possibly? never proved) screwing around. (Baggage much?) The ring is NOT the relationship, but the symbol of commitment and honor. I don''t want the ring for the sake of a diamond, but I want the promise. I''ve already been told a date, now I''m just waiting for it! I''m just a bad waiter.

 

[decodelighted]

Date: 9/5/2007 1:58:18 PM
Author: nebe
The ring is NOT the relationship, but the symbol of commitment and honor. I don''t want the ring for the sake of a diamond, but I want the promise. I''ve already been told a date, now I''m just waiting for it! I''m just a bad waiter.

I figured you were just blingy daydreaming kinda!

I used to do the same thing & imagine the ring on my hand and what it would mean and stuff & DON''T GET ME WRONG -- it is AWESOME & a total bonus if you LOVE the ring (almost as much as the guy!) but it probably falls short of the superpowers that *apparently* came with IWannaPrettyOne''s rock

.

In the meantime think about how to combat what''s getting you down without the sparkly mini-life-perfector.

Maybe it''s just anxiety ... work problems ... stress?? What do you need to be saved/distracted FROM?? We gots lots of ccccrazy ideas around here!

 

[Keepingthefaith21]

When I get to feeling that way, I usually send my man an e-mail or a text message...sometimes I tell him I am having a bad day and sometimes I just want to hear what he''s been up to so I can shift my focus.

Just a little "hey babe" can cheer me up and he''s well aware of this wonderful power he possesses

The best days are the ones where I come home and he''s got a coffee, hug and a kiss ready and waiting for me

 

[iwannaprettyone]

Date: 9/5/2007 2:06:36 PM
Author: decodelighted

but it probably falls short of the superpowers that *apparently* came with IWannaPrettyOne''s rock

.

*cough cough* wanna see? lmao

 

[poshpepper]

Date: 9/5/2007 1:40:23 PM
Author:nebe

Like I could just look down and there''s a constant reminder that my (or your!) future hubby is waiting for me while I go through the day-to-day monotony.

I know what you mean... I do look at my ring though the day and think of my FI... but really, I would think of him through out the day even before I had the ering.

I totally understand where you are coming from though... I was super antsy to get my ering too

I know its silly and I still don''t understand what drove those feelings in me, but I - just - wanted - it - so - bad!!!! I will say that the relationship has not changed in any dramatic way, we are still the same with each other

I will say that other peoples perceptions/views of us have changed though... I certainly don''t miss the constant "so when are you getting engaged" questions... LOL!

 

[nebe]

Date: 9/5/2007 2:06:36 PM
Author: decodelighted

In the meantime think about how to combat what''s getting you down without the sparkly mini-life-perfector.

Maybe it''s just anxiety ... work problems ... stress?? What do you need to be saved/distracted FROM?? We gots lots of ccccrazy ideas around here!

I''m really stressed out lately, a lot has falled on my plate lately and my parents (married 28 years) are going through a nasty divorce due to my mother having an affair (I subsequently do not speak with her anymore, she used to be my best friend)

I bought myself a diamond ring after my last breakup and everytime I look at it (driving, walking, coming out of the shower, whatever) I instantly smile and am so proud of myself. I want that, but from him. He is ALWAYS there for me (OMG, you have no idea) but I want him to always be WITH me, hence the ring. Does that make sense?

 

[TravelingGal]

Well, I have my opinions about women and their burning desire for rings for certain reasons, but I''ll spare you.

I would like to say, however, that I am very sorry to hear about your parents. I can''t imagine how tough it must be on you, especially between you and your mother with whom you were so close. I hope things get resolved without too much hurt.

 

[Skippy123]

Date: 9/5/2007 2:27:11 PM
Author: nebe

I'm really stressed out lately, a lot has falled on my plate lately and my parents (married 28 years) are going through a nasty divorce due to my mother having an affair (I subsequently do not speak with her anymore, she used to be my best friend)

I bought myself a diamond ring after my last breakup and everytime I look at it (driving, walking, coming out of the shower, whatever) I instantly smile and am so proud of myself. I want that, but from him. He is ALWAYS there for me (OMG, you have no idea) but I want him to always be WITH me, hence the ring. Does that make sense?

It makes sense to me or at least the younger Skippy about 9 yrs ago. I think the idea of the ring is ever changing. I sometimes forget to wear it and my hubby gets upset, but to him it means a lot and he sleeps and showers w/his ring. To me I know we are committed and the ring is a side bonus.

I also think that since what happened to your parents the ring may make you feel stronger that you want do differently then your mom?!?!

I wish you strength durning this difficult time. Hang in there

 

[mimzy]

a few months ago i was talking to my SIL (brother''s then-fiance) and she was telling me how she was having a lot of stress at work, etc but that everytime she looked at her ering (this was before they were married) that she felt a million times better. obviously it didn''t have super powers, but i think she meant that it reminded her that she has so much to look forward to and that she does have a lot of excitement in her life. it, even for just a moment, took her out of the icky moment she was in and put her mindset somewhere else. sort of a ''bigger picture'' mentality. at the very least it served as a welcome distraction. and i don''t think there is anything wrong with that!

 

[nebe]

Date: 9/5/2007 2:56:31 PM
Author: Skippy123

I also think that since what happened to your parents the ring may make you feel stronger that you want do differently then your mom?!?!

That would make sense, except I''ve always been a marriage-crazy girl. Since I want little (it sounds so cliche, but it''s true) I always wanted to get engaged, have a small close-knit wedding and have babies. My mother disappointed us all horribly and has had no apology for over a year now, amidst dragging everyone and their uncle into the mess. I think it might be the reason I''m having such a hard time waiting, but I''ve always been a bad waiter in general.

 

[nebe]

Date: 9/5/2007 3:21:37 PM
Author: mimzy
a few months ago i was talking to my SIL (brother''s then-fiance) and she was telling me how she was having a lot of stress at work, etc but that everytime she looked at her ering (this was before they were married) that she felt a million times better. obviously it didn''t have super powers, but i think she meant that it reminded her that she has so much to look forward to and that she does have a lot of excitement in her life. it, even for just a moment, took her out of the icky moment she was in and put her mindset somewhere else. sort of a ''bigger picture'' mentality. at the very least it served as a welcome distraction. and i don''t think there is anything wrong with that!

YES!!

 

[gwendolyn]

Date: 9/5/2007 1:40:23 PM
Author:nebe
Like I could just look down and there''s a constant reminder that my (or your!) future hubby is waiting for me while I go through the day-to-day monotony.

That''s one of the reasons I have my warm-up/promise ring. Its practical purpose was to shoo away guys from hitting on me at my coffeeshop, but the more important purpose to me was that it was a constant reminder of J, a comfort to help get me through the distance (we''ve been long-distance for 2 1/2 years). So I know what you''re saying.

 

[Independent Gal]

Wow, Nebe, you''re 20 and finished college already?! That''s amazing.

I''m one of the people for whom the ring has taken on a symbolic importance. I love looking down at my hand and thinking ''He chose me and I chose him. This ring represents our promise to each other.'' Of course we don''t need the ring for that to be so, but sometimes concrete symbols give a lot of pleasure and have a lot of meaning, even though the symbol isn''t ''the meaning itself''. It REPRESENTS the meaning. Well, duh I guess, it being a symbol and all.

I have a Jewish friend who is not at all observant, but she puts a mezuzah (sp?) on her door. Why? It''s not like she doesn''t ''know'' she''s Jewish or feel it, but she told me that she just likes to walk by the concrete symbol of her tradition every time she comes home. That''s what it symbolizes to her.

Same kind of thing, I think.

Sorry to hear about the divorce.

 

[nebe]

Date: 9/5/2007 6:17:47 PM
Author: Independent Gal
Wow, Nebe, you''re 20 and finished college already?! That''s amazing.

Ohhhh no no no, my most serious ex did! I''m still in (ugh) but while I met him (we''ll refer to him as the "Adolf"

) while we were in highschool (seperate schools, met through a friend). Adolf left for college a few months after we started dating and I travelled (7 hours!!!!) bi-monthly for weekend visits for just under 4 years. When Adolf graduated it was "Hi, I''m back, I don''t want to date you anymore, so that promise was total bull but thanks for waiting!" Awful awful. AWFUL.

In any event, you and I see eye-to-eye on the ring business.