bridal attendant

[gettingmarryed]

I have a question I hope someone can help me with. I always thought that a bride''s attendant was the person who did the last minute repairs to the dress or keep her calm or keep other people who are getting on her nerves away from the bride, etc. Is that true or what? Looking for any info on this subject.

Thanks,
Gettingmarryed

 

[October2008bride]

I''m actually interested to hear about the "attendant" position as well...I have a friend I''d love to honour in some way...but couldn''t make the numbers work for the bridal party...

Thanks for asking the question!

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

I've never heard of the "attendant" being separate from the bridal party. In weddings I've been in or gone to, the attendant role is take on by one or all of the bridesmaids. I think just asking someone to look after you with no added perks is not really fair or respectful of your friendship. I have a hard time seeing the role as a place of "honor". If you want to honor one of your friends without adding to the party itself, ask her to do a reading.

 

[lauralu]

Are you speaking of the Maid of honor? I was my nieces maid of honor for her wedding a year agao. I am not certain what the "Official" duties are. However I always have thought the MOH was the one to take care of and helping the bride the day of the wedding. Any last minute things that might come up as well as anticipating what she may need the day of the wedding and up to the moment she walks down the isle. Especially playing the part of intercepting anything that you can handle for her to help keep her calm.

I helped her the morning of her wedding with any last minute errands. I brought with me to the church a bag full of things like. Needle and thread, safety pins, hairspray, make up, curling iron. All of which someone needed at some point. I had simple ham sandwiches and bottled water on hand for the wedding party. As pictures started at noon and the wedding wasen''t until 4.

I met the flower shop people with the flowers when they arrived and made sure everyone got the flowers, corsages ect.

I cleaned up the room where everyone got dressed.

When they bridal party lined up to go in I helped with the flower girl and ring bear making sure they were excited to go. My last duty and most exciting of the day was the fluffing and laying out of the train on my nieces dress right before she went down the isle. I cried.......sniff sniff. It was a sweet moment.

Yes I was exhausted when the wedding ceremony was over. I made good use of the social hour as I was ready for a few by that time.....hehehehe

 

[labbielove]

Terminology can vary, but the duties you are describing are bridesmaids, maid of honor, at least in my experience.
If you wanted someone outside of that, it sounds like a day-of coordinator would be the one.

My 3 sisters were my bms, and they ranged in age from 47-53, so I referred to all of them in my program as
Honor Attendants

 

[lehcarm]

I''m not sure if it is a regional thing, but I have been the personal attendant in two weddings. In my upcoming wedding I will have two of my former room mates from college be my personal attendants. It will be nice because I will still be able to have them around to share my special day, even though they aren''t technically bridesmaids.

When I have been a personal attendant, I have done many duties. The last wedding I was in I had to run to Wal Mart to get more mixed nuts (we went through more than double what the bride had estimated). I also put out a small fire. It was my job (along with the personal attendant) to make sure the bride had everything she needed on her wedding day. We also did the last minute set up stuff for the reception, like making sure the cake was put on the correct table and lighting all the candles.

I guess in some areas, these might be the duties of the maid of honor, but by having someone other than the maid of honor take care of the last minute details, it gives the maid of honor a chance to focus her attention on calming the bride, not worrying about other random details that might need attending to.

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

In my area of the country-the Northeast (i.e., Boston, RI, ME, NH,VT), those duties would be handled by the bridesmaids and or the MOH; not a separate attendant. I''m sorry, but I just don''t think it''s proper to ask someone to be at your beck and call all day without asking them to be in the actual wedding party. In my opinion, that''s why you have more than one BM.

Note, I''m not saying that asking someone to be a BM gives you leave to make unreasonable demands or to make them slave for you.

 

[laine]

When I think of bride''s attendants, I think of the MOH and bridesmaids. They typically help the bride get dressed and ready, and keep her calm, sort out minor mix ups, etc.

I''ve heard of asking friends to help the bride get ready (hair, make-up, dressing, flowers, etc) without giving them the title of bridesmaids. Some ask their friends to be fake bridesmaids, others just ask them to help. Either way, it seems that the point is mostly to have the people you love around you and partly to get some help getting ready. I think this is a good way to honor and include more people than just the bridesmaids, though I''ve never heard it termed "brides attendant".

In my opinion, the other tasks described like running errands and setting up the reception are things that you can ask friends to do, but I think you should ask several people to do a single task, as a favor, rather than give the whole job to one friend as though it is an honor (while it is a bit of an honor to know the bride trusts you to help her so much, it could be a lot of work). I''ve never heard this termed "brides attendant" either.

 

[Independent Gal]

I think my sister would just laugh at me if I referred to her as my ''personal attendant''.

She''d be all ''In your DREAMS!''

 

[Pandora II]

lauralu, I am just loving picturing a''ring bear'' - too cute.

Sorry!

 

[lauralu]

Oh yes the ring bear was so adorable, all fuzzy and cute. The lil flower girl was so cute leading him around by that cute little wedding day color coordinated leash with the rings tied in a bow around his neck .....LOL

alright already......ring bearer....LOL

 

[Elmorton]

I asked a close friend to be the "Attendant" in our wedding - basically, she was our female usher (we just had 2). Her "job description" (for lack of better words) was to be a bridesmaid without standing up in the ceremony and to keep me sane (as that''s what''s she''s been doing for the last 10 years). It worked out really well. She chose a pretty dress that was sortof similar in style to my bridesmaids but a nice contrasting color (aqua bridesmaids, brown attendant dress), I chose a coordinating tie for our usher... I don''t think anyone batted an eye at the different role, and it was a really great way to include a friend who is close to me -- sure beats "Guestbook duty!"

 

[split_shank]

I think the word ''attendant'' gets confusing, depending on how it is used. When I hear attendants in a wedding, I assume bridesmaids and groomsman. In our area, a personal attendant is the ''helper'' to the bride. Although a Maid of honor can do most of these duties, it is nice to have someone looking out for you as you get your pictures taken and get ready before the wedding. I have been a personal attendant twice and again in a few weeks. The duties are kind of assumed as helping get the bride dressed if she wants, making sure she has everything she needs, and give her a heads up if she needs to retouch any makeup or hair during picures and such. A final fluff as she heads down the aisle and your job is pretty much done. Perhaps a helping hand during the difficult bathroom duties later in the evening

The term Personal Attendant can sound kind of demanding, but I have found it to be a fun way to be involved in helping the bride out as she gets ready on her big day (without ending up with those never-to-be-worn-again bridesmaids dresses)