Bridal Shower Blues

[Independent Gal]

I''ve been putting off making a list of people for the bridal shower my mom''s friend wants to throw, partly because pretty much none of my friends are going to be in town, and partly because the complications of my dad''s multiple marriages start to show through. I can''t have several people I would love to be there on the list because of my mom''s sensitivities, and in certain cases others'' sensitivities.

I have to make this list. The shower hostess has been asking for weeks. But it just brings home yet again exactly how much my family complications have made all of this wedding stuff suck. I''ve done my very best to be sensitive to everyones'' sore spots, keep people apart, mediate, smooth over, coax, and try to make things fair. And I think I''ve done such a good job of it that I forgot that I shouldn''t have had to do it at all.

You know what? I would like everyone I love and am related to to be invited to my bridal shower. Not just the people my mom feels comfortable around, or who feel comfortable around my mom.

I always knew that if I married some day, it would suck. And suck it does, ladies!

But now I have to stop with all this whining and self-pity. Make the damn list. And get a grip!

 

[justme1]

Ahhh... Nothing like family drama. I''m quite familiar.
Everyone is always going to have something to say about something.
"You can''t invite her", "Aunt Sally can''t sit with Aunt Jane" blah blah blah...

It is your day, invite the people that YOU want to be there. They are all adults and will just have to play nice for the day.
I''ve been in similiar situations... a 4 hour shower is not going to kill them. You might be surprised that they actually behave
nicely as they don''t want to ruin your day or cause a scene. Good luck I hope it all works out.

 

[Independent Gal]

Oh my God, you mean these things last for FOUR HOURS?!!?

I don''t know about it being ''my day''. I think the only way it really turns out to be ''your day'' is if you act like a b!t@h. Every time I hear the phrase "It''s my day" in my head, I picture it going along with foot stomping. I am not a foot stomper.

I made the list. Now I''m going to the gym. Thank god for telecommuting because I am so damn grumpy that I really needed not to be in the office today!

 

[Isolde]

Ah, the many joys of family politics. This is just one of several things that has put me off the idea of a reception, or any kind of pre-wedding festivities (engagement party, bridal shower, etc). I really don''t care for any of it. Hopefully you come up with a suitable list, and everyone is civil!

 

[Independent Gal]

Thanks Isolde! The shower sure wasn't my idea. I wasn't sure whether to say no or not, partly because I didn't invite the children of family friends to the wedding, and they were a little bummed. So I think the 'point' of the shower on the view of the hostess was to provide an occasion where the various children could enjoy and celebrate with my mom and I. Also very close friend of my parents, S, won't be able to make it to the wedding since she's the head of an international organization who just happen to be having their annual meeting on the other side of the planet from the wedding, the morning after the wedding. Obviously, it's not like she can reschedule it or miss it. So this was a chance for her to celebrate with us too.

So I kind of felt like it would be not so nice of me to say no, and particularly with S, I was so sad she couldn't be at the wedding so I'm glad we'll have this chance to celebrate together. She has always been kind of my idol. An amazing, sweet, and brilliant woman who has really conquered the world, while keeping her moral compass intact AND raising two nice kids. I really look up to her!

 

[Independent Gal]

Actually, double thanks, Isolde because writing that last post made me remember the good things about this shower, and how I''m actually really looking forward to seeing some of the people there. You know, it probably will be fun.

I think I''m just kind of in a funk at the moment. A good workout and some major productivity today will do me good.

 

[bee*]

Hugs! Is there anyway that they can all get on for a few hours? It''s rubbish if they can''t but as others have said-it''s that damn family politics! I think it hits us all!

 

[gtn]

I am sorry that the people in your life don''t all get along. I would hope that your friends and family can put their differences aside for you. Good luck.