Bridesmaid dress dilemna

[so cal girl]

Okay, let me start this out with a little bit of background. FI and I have been engaged since April 1, 2007 and are getting married on June 14, 2008. I have 5 bridesmaid, two who live across the country, and three who live locally. Three of these girls have gotten married recently, and all of these three told me ahead of time they were most likely going to be pregnant at my wedding. So far, only one of them is pregnant, but she will be about 8 and 1/2 months along at my wedding, so she will be REALLY pregnant.

Knowing that I might have some pregnant bridesmaids, we thought about that when we went shopping for bridesmaid dresses. Two of my bridesmaids went with me to pick out the dress, one of whom is the now-pregnant one. They both tried on the dress and agreed it would be good for everyone''s body shapes, pregnant or no. We went dress shopping relatively early along, since last June one of the local bridal stores was having an anniversary sale where everything was 15% off. Trying to save my bridesmaids money, I suggest they we order the dresses then. So we did, and everybody was fine. Two months later when the dresses got there, only the now-preganant bridesmaid was in town to try it on, but hers fit fine. Of course this was before she was pregnant.

Fast forward to now, and nobody''s dress fits them. Well, at least four of the five girls no longer fit into their dress, and the fifth girl still hasn''t tried hers on. So I am starting to stress out just a little. All of them have gained a little weight (10-20lbs) since they got measured for the dresses, which is understandable since the holidays just passed. But I am worride that come June, I am going to have five bridesmaids who don''t fit into their dress. The now-pregnant bridesmaid even told me this past weekend that she now wants to order a different dress, because she doesn''t think they will be able to alter this one enough to fit her when she is so far along in her pregnancy. So I''m not sure what to do. Its not like I can tell them to lose weight so that they can wear a silly bridesmaid dress, but I really like the dresses I picked out, and would love for them to wear them. I really don''t want to start over from scratch.

Any advice?

 

[misysu2]

I''m also having bridesmaid issues, so I feel your pain.

I''m not sure how to helo your girls who gained weight, but I''m also dealing with a preggo BM and here''s what we did:

We told her that she could go get a black dress that fit her. It depends on the brand of BM dresses you used, but some (e.g. Dessy) will allow you to order fabric samples. We''re going to order one that matches the BM dresses and use it as a waist sash on the black dress, so the BM "matches."

I hope some other gals here on the board can help with the rest!! Good luck!

 

[Independent Gal]

Hmmm. If I were you, I would take a deep breath, remind yourself that it doesn''t really matter in the long run, give them a colour and a length, and let them pick their own dresses. 10-20 lbs of weight gain in 6 months is actually a LOT, so waiting until soon before the wedding and then having them pick something that works for them might be wise. You could get a matching sash or shawl for each of them, perhaps.

Also, make sure you keep in mind that being 8 1/2 months pregnant is EXTREMELY uncomfortable. You friend probably won''t be getting much sleep since it''s hard to find a comfy sleeping position at that point, she''ll be swollen, bloated, and in a lot of discomfort. Standing for any length of time may be unpleasant. And she may well not be able to fit into her usual size shoes. So, be a good friend and let her know in advance that she should be honest about how she is feeling throughout the wedding day, in case standing for 2 hours worth of photos is hell for her. And don''t take it personally if she needs to sit or lie down!

 

[Italiahaircolor]

Bridemaids dresses can be the most difficult part of dress shopping because you have to accomidate so many different figures, personalities, and "likes vs. dislikes". I admire you for taking a progressive leap early on, and also for saving the girls some money during a sale.

But, like I always "preach" when it comes to dress shopping, buying a gown too early on can be a mistake because woman''s bodies change--sometimes they shrink, and sometimes they grow--but it''s always hard to gauge what''s going to happen, esspecially a year before the wedding.

I think that you need to sit down with the girls and completely regroup your game plan. Consider having a big conference call, or go into a chatroom online...either way, attempt to have all the girls in one place at one time...Its important to consider that your BM''s have already bought a dress once, and may not be in the financle position to buy another one (esspecially since one girl has a baby on the way). I would open the floor to suggestions...perhaps they can agree to respectively order or purchase dresses in a certain color...but make sure the color is simple like black. You probably wont get the color-scheme of your dreams like "celery green" , going this route, because different dye-lots and tones could end up ruining the look instead of enhancing it. Or, you can direct all the ladies to a chain bridal salon like Davids Bridal...they have lovely seperates, and the order time as well as price is reasonable! Select a color for them to wear, and have them call you with the size and style they have selected. Make a large, one time order on your end, from your local or localish Davids Bridal to insure they are all completed during one cut as opposed to various cuts, because again, dye-lot can differ from time to time. Once the dresses arrive, you have them sent to the Davids Bridal most local to your bridesmaids for alterations and fittings!

As far your pregnant bridesmaid, I would absolutely consider her comfort over fashion. Something in a jersey-knit, or chaffon would be comfortable and flexible for her as she gets ready to ALMOST pop! Allow her to wear flats or low sandels...don''t put to many rules or regulations on her as you move forward with accessories. It''s very nice that she''s standing up in your wedding so close to becoming a mommy!

Another great idea, is to put the ill-fitting dresses on ebay. It will help, if they sell, balance the cost of the new dresses. You could also contribute a few dollars towards the purchase price of the new gowns, if you wanted to or felt like it would seal the deal! Whatever you do, be forgiving...I''m sure each bridesmaid feel individually guilty for not fitting into her dress...and that is hard, because they dont want to be responsible for ruining your wedding -- even if a dress wouldn'' have the power to do that anyway!

 

[bee*]

Date: 2/5/2008 2:50:39 PM
Author: Italiahaircolor
I think that you need to sit down with the girls and completely regroup your game plan. Consider having a big conference call, or go into a chatroom online...either way, attempt to have all the girls in one place at one time...Its important to consider that your BM''s have already bought a dress once, and may not be in the financle position to buy another one (esspecially since one girl has a baby on the way). I would open the floor to suggestions...perhaps they can agree to respectively order or purchase dresses in a certain color...but make sure the color is simple like black. You probably wont get the color-scheme of your dreams like ''celery green'' , going this route, because different dye-lots and tones could end up ruining the look instead of enhancing it. Or, you can direct all the ladies to a chain bridal salon like Davids Bridal...they have lovely seperates, and the order time as well as price is reasonable! Select a color for them to wear, and have them call you with the size and style they have selected. Make a large, one time order on your end, from your local or localish Davids Bridal to insure they are all completed during one cut as opposed to various cuts, because again, dye-lot can differ from time to time. Once the dresses arrive, you have them sent to the Davids Bridal most local to your bridesmaids for alterations and fittings!


As far your pregnant bridesmaid, I would absolutely consider her comfort over fashion. Something in a jersey-knit, or chaffon would be comfortable and flexible for her as she gets ready to ALMOST pop! Allow her to wear flats or low sandels...don''t put to many rules or regulations on her as you move forward with accessories. It''s very nice that she''s standing up in your wedding so close to becoming a mommy!

Ditto the above. I would definitely sit down with your bm''s and see what they say and come up with a plan. Also I agree that with your pregnant bridesmaid, don''t put too many restrictions on her. She will definitely be very uncomfortable so her dress will need to fit nicely, without being too heavy, and definitely flats for her.

 

[enbcfsobe]

Also, have you checked to see if ANY of the dresses fit ANY of th BMs? If they were different sizes to start, maybe there is some chance you won''t have to buy a whole new set of dresses if they can trade some of them amongst themselves? I would at least see if that might work. Then I guess try to fill out the rest from ebay or resalers if the dress is no longer sold? Maybe even pick a second complementary color if you can''t find your original choice? Good luck!

 

[gtn]

I agree with ItalianHC. As for the pregnant BM, I would say make sure she is comfortable in what ever she wears. If you guys decide to buy new dresses, I would definitely recommend going with a simple dress in a plain color, that way you have an easy fix if any of the other girls become pregnant.

 

[so cal girl]

Thanks ladies for all of the advice so far.

First of all, we were trying to keep comfort in mind when we originally picked out the dresses, since I knew that some of the girls might be pregnant. The dresses are a net, since I figured that would stretch well, and would also be lightweight and breathable, since the wedding is in June. The problem is mostly with the lining, which is does not have much give, but I am wondering if the pregnant bridesmaid could just have the lining totally redone. Does anyone know if that would be possible?

I already told the girls they could wear whatever black shoes they wanted, as I knew the pregnant bridesmaid would need something low and comfortable, while some of my other birdesmaids loves super high heels. And of course they will not have to stand the entire ceremony. I was forced to stand the entire ceremony for my sister''s wedding, and at one point I had to leave the service as I felt like I was going to throw up because I had locked my knees due to nervousness. I would never want anyone to have to go through that.

I also left out in the previous post that in order to help the girls, I already contributed $100 to the bridesmaid dresses. So I would really like them not to go to waste. I really don''t think any of the girls can afford to buy another dress as it is. That is the main part of the dilemna.

 

[Independent Gal]

You sound like a very thoughtful friend!

I think it should probably be easy to change the lining on the dress. The only thing is that she doesn''t know how big she will be. So it should probably be done fairly last minute.