Bridesmaids gift

[Gwyn]

All of my bridesmaids found a dress that I and they really like. The problem is that it is a pretty pricey dress ($18. I know that dresses can be alot more expensive but I was hoping not to exceed $150 at the absolute highest.

My question is, could i buy the dress or a portion of the dress for them as my gift to them and then get them each a nice card? Or will that seem tacky? Do most brides who buy their bridesmaids outfits also get them a gift too? I have been a bridesmaid in 3 weddings and have always had to buy my own dress and usually got some kind of keepsake which was a nice thought but i never really used. I was planning to get them something in the $75-$100 range (there are only 3 of them and we are pretty close). Would it be weird if I said that I would put $100 down on their dresses as a gift or something like that? I know if I would have appreciated this as a bridesmaid but I dont want people at the rehersal dinner and such thinking I am being cheap by not getting them a gift gift.

Oh here is the dress that they all liked. I am hoping that they will be able to wear it again as a guest to another wedding or dress up work function or something.

The maid of honor wants hers in blue, the other two in brown (my wedding colors). Dont ask me why one pic is bigger then the other lol.

 

[Cleopatra]

Hi Gwyn! My bridesmaid dresses were fairly pricey also ($230 - but they insisted that they loved these dresses and wanted them) They are black knee length dresses similar to the ones your have chosen!

My gift to them are going to be their shoes (we decided to go with hot pink pumps with the black dresses) so I found them awesome hot pink pumps and also a hot pink and black clutch (not to carry during the ceremony of course, but just something extra for when they wear the shoes again) and I''ll be buying their jewelry.

Maybe you could do something similar? Buy their shoes while they buy their dresses....or vice versa?

 

[Gwyn]

Im not picking out shoes and jewelery for them to wear, i told them they could wear whatever. So i could buy them some, but im guessing they will probably use what they already have and that the ones i buy will be pretty superfluous.

 

[parrot tulips]

Gorgeous dresses! I would say it depends on your bridesmaids'' financial situations. My first time around as a bridesmaid, the bride shocked me a little by picking out nearly $500 dresses - not including alterations. I was horribly broke, and to top it all off, it was a destination wedding in Hawaii (so expensive travel too). I would have appreciated assistance with the dress much more than the necklaces she ended up getting us. However, if you believe your girls can comfortably afford the dresses, a thoughtful little something might be nice.

 

[musey]

Date: 12/21/2007 8:27:54 PM
Author: parrot tulips
Gorgeous dresses! I would say it depends on your bridesmaids'' financial situations. My first time around as a bridesmaid, the bride shocked me a little by picking out nearly $500 dresses - not including alterations. I was horribly broke, and to top it all off, it was a destination wedding in Hawaii (so expensive travel too). I would have appreciated assistance with the dress much more than the necklaces she ended up getting us. However, if you believe your girls can comfortably afford the dresses, a thoughtful little something might be nice.

I agree with PT''s sentiments wholeheartedly

bridesmaid gifts so often end up being a "token" (not to say that this is what you''d choose or how your BMs would see your choice, however) that I tend to think that helping out with their costs would be a nicer gift.

Then again, like PT said, if they aren''t undergoing and financial strain to be a part of your wedding, maybe you would be better serving them by picking out a gift.

Only you know your ''maids well enough to know what would be best!

 

[bee*]

I''m in Ireland so we buy everything for the bridesmaids, ie, shoes, dress, nails, hair etc. I''m also getting them a present. I think it would be great if you could give them some money towards the dresses.

 

[gailrmv]

I think it really depends on their financial situations. If you think the dress is a stretch for them I would offer to pay for it (and I think that is a perfectly good gift.) If you think the cost is no big deal for them, why not get them a gift like the jewelry to wear for that day or the shoes or something else. (That way their jewelry and/or shoes will match which will look nice in your photos). Another idea, how about treating them to hair/makeup as your gift to them, which will save them some $ they would have had to spend.
When I first started grad school I was a bridesmaid where the dress was over $200, and there was out of state travel for DH and I to get to the wedding. If the bride had offered to treat me to hair/makeup or the dress, I would have really appreciate it! Instead, I did my own hair and makeup, which I''m not sure she was too happy about, but it saved me well over $100 which is what everyone else paid at the salon. I was on such a tight budget that the whole thing was really a stretch. Oh, and we got them shower and wedding gifts too. Don''t get me wrong, I was thrilled to be a bridesmaid for my friend, but I think she forgot that not everyone had as much disposable income. Now that I am out of school and working, the same expenses would not be such a big deal, but they were really a stretch at the time!

 

[Gwyn]

Money isnt great with any of them and two of them will have to fly from the east coast out to the west coast for the wedding. Though i have taken care of their lodging, tickets are never cheap. So i know that they would all appreciate some cost reduction rather then a gift which is more like added value for money they speant.

I am not going to ask them for any kind of makeup, hair, jewelry, nails or anything like that so offering to pay for those things for them as a gift would be just like getting them a gift, added value, and not helping them out with costs.

My real question is, if a bride says she will pay for the dresses or part of the dresses. Is that then considered just something that she is doing for the party and people will then feel slighted or think poorly upon her b/c she didnt go out and get her party gifts on top of it. I would love to do both but I am on a budget too and spending over $450 on bridal party gifts for 3 girls is a little extreme for my budget.

 

[snowflakeluvr]

hi there,
i''m just lurking around on christmas eve, waiting for my kiddos to go to sleep so santa can do his/her thing

i think offering some $$$ to help the cost of the dresses is a wonderful idea, especially after explaining their travel costs. how about a nominal(say 15 dollar) frame with a personal pic of you and each bridesmaid as that little "token" gift, or just a frame and fill it with a wedding pic after the wedding? i see what you are asking, somehow feeling like you''re leaving them "empty handed" by not having some sort of a gift, but as the others have said, helping with the cost of the dresses is a remarkable help!
believe it or not, i was just a moh in my best friend''s first wedding and she was 41(3 years ago) i had just had my fourth baby and we had to spend an entire weekendl, with two rooms(cuz there were six of us at the time) at a really nice hotel-would have cost us over a grand, and guess what? the groom surprised us, weekend''s end by paying for our rooms. he''s the kind who "won''t take no for an answer" so we graciously said "Thanks!" of course, they are in their 40''s, childless, very well established financially. we really appreciated that huge freebie so much though!
have fun with your wedding details. i''ve been married almost 21 years-sometimes feels like yesterday, sometimes feels like forever, but planning my wedding was one of the most fun and special times i shared with my mom, sister, girlfriends. enjoy this time! and try and not stress too much.
ps my dear best friend did become quite the "bridezilla" at times-she felt after waiting so many years, i guess, that it was her way or the highway. i remember being a tad more um, gracious as a much younger bride...

 

[neatfreak]

I would certainly prefer help with the dress than jewelry or something else the bride wants me to wear on the wedding day. No offense to those brides who did that...but unless the gifts you get them are truly personal, I think most maids would prefer some monetary assistance with the dress...

You could always write them a beautiful card or make them a picture collage of your friendship, something like that as a present to give at the RD if you''re worried about it. But we didn''t give our gifts at the RD (we did it before) and no one thought anything of it...