Buffets-YUM or YUCK?

[musey]

I was reading the "hate" and "love" threads and realized that there was a great split between loving and hating buffets (for various reasons, of course). Our venue offers equal per-head pricing on both buffet and seated meals, so we were loosely planning on the buffet route. Nothing to do with more or less elegant, just that both our families QUANTITY and VARIETY!

Anyway, some of the points brought up both for and against buffets made me start to look at the decision in a different way. I thought it might be good to gather all those "arguments" in one place.

Please though, objective opinions only--no more fighting

 

[KimberlyH]

Musey,

I believe most things in life can be done well and done poorly. One of the best wedding meals I ever had was a buffet (at a nice, lowkey wedding), with servers helping dish out the food so there was no funny business. I still relish those garlic chive mashed potatoes almost two years later. I''ve had terrible sit down meals and wonderful ones, it''s all depends.

 

[ang3199]

I voted buffet just because I like to pick and choose my food.

I''ve had some bad sit downs and I''ve had some good sit downs just like I have had some bad buffets and good buffets. So I guess my answer is just personal preference.

I don''t really have anything to back it up!

 

[decodelighted]

Well ... I may be slightly BIASED about this, as *we* had a buffet (super-casual one at that) ... and come to think of it: both of my sisters had buffet receptions as well. Even the few super posh weddings I've been to had buffets -- it was the, um, LESS posh ones that had sit down dinners (of the rubber chicken & green bean variety). Except for a gorgeous wedding that had a buffet COCKTAIL HOUR and a sit-down meal TOO. Their food was yum!

It would never occur to me that other people were "breathing" on the buffet. Um, that kitchen staff in the back, those waiters etc ... they're all breathing up on your food too yanno?

 

[TravelingGal]

I don''t mind the concept of buffets per se...

What I mind are some of the people who don''t understand it''s not the HOMETOWN BUFFET.

They pack their plates up high...in fact, take multiples. They cut in line and grab the choicest stuff at all costs. Little innocuous grannies turn into mean mother f*$%ers.

OK, so maybe I have bitter memories. I should say this stems from years of Korean church wedding buffets where all the good stuff is taken first and young folks BETTER let the elders go first, or else. People ran out of the ceremony site early to get in line first. Some people would stack multiple plates to take home. I''ve even seen it once where no food was put aside for the wedding party so they had to go without dinner. It''s zany.

So if it''s not a crazy Korean buffet...I might be able to stop the cold sweats and be OK with it.

 

[decodelighted]

Date: 11/20/2007 8:22:16 PM
Author: TravelingGal
What I mind are some of the people who don''t understand it''s not the HOMETOWN BUFFET. Little innocuous grannies turn into mean mother f*$%ers.

HA!!!! You''re RIGHT! I do recall *one* wedding where I was having to throw elbows to get anywhere NEAR the dessert buffet. The pushy oldsters turned me back on my heels before I got so much as a cookie. ARG!

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 11/20/2007 8:26:37 PM
Author: decodelighted

Date: 11/20/2007 8:22:16 PM
Author: TravelingGal
What I mind are some of the people who don''t understand it''s not the HOMETOWN BUFFET. Little innocuous grannies turn into mean mother f*$%ers.

HA!!!! You''re RIGHT! I do recall *one* wedding where I was having to throw elbows to get anywhere NEAR the dessert buffet. The pushy oldsters turned me back on my heels before I got so much as a cookie. ARG!

Seriously, don''t mess with them. They''ve had YEARS to hone their buffet blocking techniques. Poor saps like you and me have nuthin'' on em.

 

[Haven]

Musey--We''re going to have a buffet, which actually costs more than a seated meal at our venue. We chose buffet because we wanted to offer variety, and our families have extremely different dietary habits (my family is all about vegetarian organic fare, his is all about meat and potatoes.)

 

[robbie3982]

As a guest I prefer buffet. For our wedding, though, we chose seated because we thought we''d have the best chance of getting to actually sit down and enjoy our dinner.

 

[iheartscience]

I like buffets because I''m the type of eater who wants a little bit of everything. I always want to order like 3 appetizers when I go out to eat, and then skip the entree and go straight to dessert! I''ve had great sit down dinners, too, but like deco mentioned, too many sit down dinners are the rubber chicken type.

I''m probably going to go with a buffet style meal catered by a great locally owned restaurant in my area because I want everyone to be able to have whatever they want to eat, and the food at this restaurant is TO DIE FOR.

 

[brazen_irish_hussy]

I have eaten at some very good buffets but for a wedding I MUCH prefer a sit down, here''s why:
If the ceremony is at the same place as the recpetion I have seen people book it out of the ceremony or even leave the ceremony early to get the best place in line
Catering staff are watched by health inspectors to make sure they are careful around the food, cousin theresa with hay fever does not have those constraints
If I am going to waiting for food either way, I would rather be sitting and staring at the expensive center pieces rather than standing and looking at the back of uncle john''s hairpiece
It allows people to mingle which can be a very bad thing. We get married in less than 9 months and our families have not met because it is going to be a fireworks show you can see from space
People will overeat. I know that sounds stupid, but all the studies show that when people don''t choose their own portion size they eat less but feel just as full. No studies are need to show what happens when a bunch of VERY full adults try to get jiggy with it, nasuea ensues
No constant questions about "is this vegan?" or "does this have gluten"? It may not mean much in your case, but there are a lot coming to my wedding who will hold up the line indefinitely asking if there are eggs and if so did they come from free range chickens, etc. If they have the option of a vegan meal or gluten free meal on the RSVP, no problems
I feel pampered when some one brings me the food so I don''t have to get up or leave my conversation because I am hungry. Plus there is staff to clean all the dirty dishes away.

 

[Haven]

Date: 11/20/2007 9:33:37 PM
Author: brazen_irish_hussy

No constant questions about ''is this vegan?'' or ''does this have gluten''? It may not mean much in your case, but there are a lot coming to my wedding who will hold up the line indefinitely asking if there are eggs and if so did they come from free range chickens, etc. If they have the option of a vegan meal or gluten free meal on the RSVP, no problems

Brazen--It sounds like we share a family! Luckily, the country club is going to set up a mediteranean vegetarian station and an organic station for us. (And an omelette station, and a waffle station, my favorites! And more that I just can''t remember.) I swear, dietary restrictions seem to be an acute form of OCD in my family, it''s insane. Oh, AND I''m extremely allergic to strawberries, so we had to have THAT conversation, as well.

We''re still going buffet, but it''s going to be brunch and I much prefer a brunch buffet to a seated brunch anyday. The whole guests sneezing on the food thing does make me nervous, though!

 

[surfgirl]

As long as the foods awesome, I''m cool with a buffet...though that bit about people breathing on and touching my food? Bleh! Maybe I should re consider because that''s why I dont take food from those supermarket salad buffets....people can be so gross.

ETA: I''m always amazed at how gross people are at hotel buffets when I''m traveling. Grown men, picking up - with their bare hands (and did they wash them when last they pee''d?!?) - several rolls before settling on one. Why do they have to touch other rolls? They''re ROLLS, not lottery tickets! Or people who pick a piece of buffet food with their fingers..and the most heinous of all, finger LICKERS who then take ANOTHER piece of food with their finger licked fingers. Gah. I need to go vomit now. Excuse me. Carry on...

 

[ang3199]

Date: 11/20/2007 9:48:01 PM
Author: surfgirl
As long as the foods awesome, I''m cool with a buffet...though that bit about people breathing on and touching my food? Bleh! Maybe I should re consider because that''s why I dont take food from those supermarket salad buffets....people can be so gross.


ETA: I''m always amazed at how gross people are at hotel buffets when I''m traveling. Grown men, picking up - with their bare hands (and did they wash them when last they pee''d?!?) - several rolls before settling on one. Why do they have to touch other rolls? They''re ROLLS, not lottery tickets! Or people who pick a piece of buffet food with their fingers..and the most heinous of all, finger LICKERS who then take ANOTHER piece of food with their finger licked fingers. Gah. I need to go vomit now. Excuse me. Carry on...

Hehehe. You okay now?

 

[neatfreak]

Date: 11/20/2007 8:15:18 PM
Author: KimberlyH
Musey,


I believe most things in life can be done well and done poorly. One of the best wedding meals I ever had was a buffet (at a nice, lowkey wedding), with servers helping dish out the food so there was no funny business. I still relish those garlic chive mashed potatoes almost two years later. I''ve had terrible sit down meals and wonderful ones, it''s all depends.

I totally agree. An amazing buffet (casual or fancy as long as it is YUMMY) that is done well can be fantastic as can an elegant seated meal. But either one done poorly? YUCK.

 

[Elmorton]

We had a buffet. Ours tasted excellent, the food was kept hot, and the foods looked very pretty - there was sliced stuffed chicken, so it looked nice displayed, fresh long green beans with red pepper julienne, and roasted potatoes, and a tossed caesar salad. We only had one meat option to keep costs down and because I''ve heard horror stories about food running out because everyone takes two (I''m totally guilty of this - I can never make up my mind).

That said, I was nooooot pumped about the buffet (a sit down would not fit in our budget - not even close) until we had our tasting and actually saw the food presented. I''ve been to several weddings (and plenty of catered events) where I thought the buffet really did remind me of being in caf in my old dorm. It''s all about the presentation and how the caterer puts together the buffet.

The one thing that DID irk me a little about our buffet, was that in leiu of a receiving line, DH and I planned to greet each table and then dismiss them for the food. This actually worked for about 4 of our tables. Instead, everyone just decided to go when they wanted, so we had a really long line for the food at one point when we had tried to avoid that. Whoops.

 

[zoebartlett]

Hi Musey,

I didn't vote because I can see both sides. We were thinking originally of having a brunch buffet but then we were talked out of it by the coordinators of our venue. They said that they don't recommend buffets because people don't like standing in line to eat at a reception. I got the impression that people could potentially think, "I'm the guest here, why am I getting my food myself?" I personally don't see this as a huge deal, but I went along with it. The coordinators also said that there's a lot more food that goes to waste when serving a buffet, and it's not really cost-effective.

Not only did we decide not to do a buffet, we decided to do a lunch/dinner instead a brunch.

ETA: Not that you asked this, but I'm in the northeast, and I've only been to one or two buffet-style receptions out of the zillions of weddings I've attended. I don't know how much region plays a part in this, but I don't think it would really matter.

 

[Selkie]

Either one is a valid choice, depending on venue, cost, and wedding size. I think for a smallish wedding (say under 50 people) I prefer a buffet strictly in terms of being able to access the food. Above that, you run the risk of people standing in long lines IF you don''t have multiple serving lines.

TGal, I saw an episode of Gilmore Girls where a Korean girl gets married, and there is a mad rush by her relatives to get to the buffet, load up their plates, drop off the gift envelopes, and leave! I thought it surely had to be an exaggeration, but from what you say, not so much!

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 11/20/2007 10:29:33 PM
Author: Selkie


TGal, I saw an episode of Gilmore Girls where a Korean girl gets married, and there is a mad rush by her relatives to get to the buffet, load up their plates, drop off the gift envelopes, and leave! I thought it surely had to be an exaggeration, but from what you say, not so much!

Not by a long shot. It''s totally true. I have been to dozens of them, it seems! I had to warn TGuy that all the Korean guests may leave before lunch was up at our wedding. A lot of older Koreans HATE sit down meals because they are forced to stay.

Interestingly, it didn''t turn out that way. I had a very small wedding and the older Korean guests were only my aunts and uncles. They danced up a storm and were the life the party. Complete pleasant surprise!

 

[E B]

We had a buffet and it was fabulous. We had professionals serving the food (it wasn''t a free for all) and everyone could choose what they wanted to eat. One table was called up at a time, and salads were served before so people weren''t sitting there, starving.

I''ve been to both, and since I have food allergies I prefer a buffet. I hate being served a plate of food I don''t like/can''t eat. With a buffet, people can choose what they want and how much.

 

[sunnygirl]

I originally wanted a sit down meal mostly because that is what I was used to from the few weddings I have been to and because it is more elegant. But now we are going with ethnic food (Persian) and with a lot of ethnic cuisines, you just can''t do sit down. Because of the types of food and also because you want to make sure there are a lot of choices.

I hope it will work out - I dread the idea of people getting antsy in line. I know it can be less elegant but I hope it makes the wedding feel fun and mingly. The good thing is we are going to have lots of yummy food and will definitely be avoiding the rubber chicken meal.

 

[basil]

I didn''t vote. I''m all for the quality of the food, however it is served.

Our caterer offers a choice of sit down menu or "stations" which I think is a trendy word for buffet. I guess it''s kind of a split up buffet...instead of having one big line, it''s a bunch of smaller areas that people can visit as they please. The caterer said this was kind of a trendy, younger crowd choice. We just could not imagine our grandmas having to get up multiple times or juggle multiple plates to do to the pasta station, the seafood station, and the prime rib station, so we are having sit down.

 

[mimzy]

good question!

i would normally say it doesn't matter as long as quality isn't sacrificed either way....but then i thought about it a little more and i remembered how at least 3 of the weddings i've been to that had a buffet we were always the last table, and by the time we got up there they were already almost out of food because it took SO LONG to get to our table that other people toward the front of the room were already getting up to get seconds. At one of the weddings they actually ran out of food and it took like forty five minutes before we could go eat.

i know it seems like it would take longer for servers to serve every table, but i think it actually takes a lot longer to herd everybody through a buffet line. if the wedding is under 100 people it might not be that big of a deal...or if there were like three lines that they could go in...but other than that it can really suck for the people in the back!

 

[misysu2]

Buffet, all the way girl! You are lucky, too- my venue actually charges about 1 and a half times the seated plate price! I love being able to pick out my own food, and love the informality it''s associated with; you''re really breaking bread with loved ones.

 

[labbielove]

I have had both good and bad buffets and sit-downs.

For us, a buffet was the only way to go, since we wanted to offer more variety to people. We had a fall feast of hand carved turkey, carved roast beef, smashed potatoes, stuffing, including a vegetarian version, corn, mushroom ravioli alfredo, cranberry relish, homemade biscuits, the works. It was "down home" cooked food, yet elegantly presented with good service- 2 sided buffet line made for virtually no "waiting" and lots of people went back for seconds, even thirds.

With our families we had too many picky folks and wanted to make sure there was something for everyone.

Many guests said it was the best wedding food they''d had- and the comfort food feel went so well with our early fall, country wedding.

 

[MoonWater]

Man, my catering experience is popping up all over this forum recently...but it is about weddings so...

Yes, beware of those servers in the back breathing on your plated food. I''d take a buffet anyday. Also, if you have any vegetarians, the server will be sure to serve them a plate of chicken. And if they don''t screw it up, the caterers will provide a plate of grilled vegetables (basically, the side dish to the meat entree). Apparently, vegetarians don''t want a real meal, just a side item.

Buffets I''ve worked were always full service so each of us would put the items on the plate and ensured that there was enough for everyone. If people got greedy they were told that we had to wait until everyone was served first but were welcomed to come back for seconds. No fighting allowed, tell grandma to put a sock in it!

 

[bee*]

I''ve never been to a buffet dinner at a wedding but as long as the food was good I wouldn''t mind. The standing in line would annoy me a bit if there was a long line but other than that I think it would be fine.

 

[jfo]

I voted buffet, but as people already mentioned, it depends on how well done it is and I think it depends on the number of guests you''re planning to have at the reception. We had a buffet (just as expensive as a plated meal) for ours, but we did a casual lowkey outdoor reception with 40 guests. No long lines, and the food was incredibly delicious (which I certainly hoped it would be considering we chose the venue for its food and for its location in Key West).
That said, if you''re planning to have >100 people, I can see why one could argue that a plated dinner would be much easier to handle.

 

[HollyS]

Date: 11/20/2007 8:22:16 PM
Author: TravelingGal
I don''t mind the concept of buffets per se...

What I mind are some of the people who don''t understand it''s not the HOMETOWN BUFFET.

They pack their plates up high...in fact, take multiples. They cut in line and grab the choicest stuff at all costs. Little innocuous grannies turn into mean mother f*$%ers.

OK, so maybe I have bitter memories. I should say this stems from years of Korean church wedding buffets where all the good stuff is taken first and young folks BETTER let the elders go first, or else. People ran out of the ceremony site early to get in line first. Some people would stack multiple plates to take home. I''ve even seen it once where no food was put aside for the wedding party so they had to go without dinner. It''s zany.

So if it''s not a crazy Korean buffet...I might be able to stop the cold sweats and be OK with it.

People actually filled their plates before the bride, groom, and wedding party??!! I must live in a very polite area, or have very *Emily Postish* friends, because I''ve never seen that. Dave and I started the buffet line at our wedding, and all was quiet and serene. We gave away extra cake to family and friends, but no one took a plate home. Sheesh.

 

[aprilcait]

As long as the guest list isn''t too big, a buffet is great. If the the guest list is long, though, buffets can be a bit of a pain for the guest. I''ve been to a wedding with a smaller guest list of probably 50 or so, and the buffet was fantastic. I''ve also been to a larger wedding (closer to 150 or guests) and the buffet was a pain in the rear as a guest. You felt like you were missing so much by standing in line for so long.

Plus, if you have a number of disabled or elerly guests who have trouble walking or standing or who are in wheelchairs, you might want to consider not doing the buffet, IMO. Wheelchairs and buffets don''t mix.