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JAMSRING

Rough_Rock
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Jan 16, 2008
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I am wondering if most of you are planning/imagining a summer wedding for obvious reasons. If you are going to get married during the school year how are you planning on handling it? Taking a delayed honeymoon? Taking time off unpaid and leave the kids with a bad sub (at least in my district)? Planning you wedding around a holiday you will already have off?


Here is my dilemma. My bf and I are turning 30. We don’t want to wait forever to get married and start a family. He lives an hour away and the driving is getting old. We have no intention of living together before we are married. If I had to guess I think we will be getting engaged in the next month or so. I don’t want to rush planning to get married this summer and the following is much too far away in my mind! So that leaves next school year.


Just interested in your opinions on what to do! I hate the idea of getting married and going right back to work, but then again I guess that is how everybody else does it! lol!


Thanks!
 
Well, about the holiday idea: how do you feel about a Christmas/New Year-ish wedding? If you get married in between those two dates, you can have a sort of compromise, where you have some days off to just enjoy being married, but don''t have to wait until the summer! Could be good....?

Or, if you don''t want to do that, is there a good sub or two that you''ve had in your class before whom you would trust with your kids for an extended amount of time? You could always arrange to have him/her cover your class while you''re gone, so you have your honeymoon right after the wedding but don''t have to feel (too) guilty about leaving your kids with a less-than-able substitute.
 
Thanks! Yes, there are some great subs. I hope I did not offend anybody with that comment. I just had some bad experiences....like the sub can''t speak English or just tosses aside my lesson and tells the kids to find something to do! The main thing with a sub is that I would probably have to take that time unpaid. I cant very well call in sick the week following my wedding! Then I would have to basically subtract a weeks salery from the budget. I am not opposed to the Christmas idea. I would prefer to get married during spring break, but next year its during holy week and the catholic church wont marry you during holy week. Perhaps MLK weekend, or Presidents day weekend. Also Valentines Day falls on a Saturday next year. Then we could just have a delayed honeymoon in the summer. hmmmm
 
When the time comes for me, I am thinking of having a winter wedding during the winter break probably before New Year's and going on a honeymoon over New Years.

I have had several friends, who are also teachers, get married during the Summer ( my one close friend planned a wedding in less than 5 months!). My other friend, who recently got married, did it in January on a Saturday. She is delaying her honeymoon until her April spring break. A coworker of mine is getting married in September and is going to get a sub and take off about a week and half from work for her wedding and honeymoon. She has talked with our principal about this before she seriously considered the timeframe.

There are several ways to go about it, and it depends on what you are most comfortable with. I wouldn't rush the wedding- and get all stressed out in order to have it take place during the summer. I personally would feel kind of sad having a delayed honeymoon - but it works perfectly fine for some couples.

So I suppose my final advice would be don't feel obligated to get married during the Summer because it is the most convenient times for teachers to do us. As educators we have to be flexible- so why not apply that to when we get married as well!
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So I''m not a teacher by my BF is a PhD student who has at least 1 class a semester to teach and he''s given this a lot of thought and come to the conclusion that A) We have to get married in the summer B)we have to get married during Winter break C)we have to get married during or around Spring break. The last time we discussed it he decided that it might not be a bad idea to get married in February because the university''s spring break is always in March, so a honeymoon wouldn''t be that far away.

There are, of course, other complications like the fact that he also teaches summer school, works doing research 3 days a week, and has to write a dissertation after his comps next spring (which is probably when I''ll get a proposal! Yay!) but other than that, peachy keen jelly bean!

Ok, so it''s totally not peachy keen, but whatever.

Can you get married the weekend before Holy Week and still take the honeymoon over spring break? A week wouldn''t be too bad of a wait...
 
Had not thought about the weekend before. Thats not a bad idea. Thanks :)
 
well my mom is a teacher but i am not sure how soon rushing would be to you... say you were engaged by april 1... and you got married around sept. 1 thats 5 months which isnt a long time but enough to plan a wedding and have a few days off .. you could honeymoon over winter break... ( and anyways some could/would argue that you shouldnt take a honeymoon immediately after the wedding anyways because all the excitement from proposal to planning to big fay and big trip often leave couples feeling inadequate and bored when normalcy hits so having some normalcy before your honeymoon might be nice too)
alternatively i definitely say winter break wedding... right at the beginning so you have plenty of time to honeymoon then the engagement would be 8 months which is a great amount of time but its 8 more months of commuting...
 
I''m a teacher and I would never consider getting married during the school year, but that''s because I feel like I''m running a marathon from August through May every year. I think it depends on a) what you teach, and b) how many extra-curricular things you coach. For example, I''m the head Speech Team coach and we have 8 - 10 hour tournaments at least two Saturdays a month from October through February, so between coaching and grading 120 papers a week I just don''t have time to do anything else.

However, it totally depends on your situation.

I also HATE leaving my students with a substitute, not because of the quality of the subsitute, but because that means I''m robbing my students of instructional time. And although there are good substitutes out there, I haven''t met very many.

Good luck!
 
I have a friend who is a teacher and she got married in the fall. They delayed their honeymoon until April. They wanted to take a 2 week honeymoon, so she took a week off (unpaid) right before her school district''s week long April vacation.

I''m a teacher as well and I could never do that, personally. I can''t imagine trying to plan for a wedding or a honeymoon during the school year. I had always wanted to get married in October but we chose to get mattied in mid-July instead. The school year will be over at that point and I don''t have to divide my attention between school and wedding related things.

I hate how the school calendar dictates when we "should" take vacations, especially since vacation weeks are often the most expensive weeks to travel.
 
I am in the exact same boat. Catholic weddings next year can''t be from Feb 25th through April 12th. And they wouldn''t let you have the wedding the weekend before Holy Week (if they''re a strict Catholic church). So that''s almost 2 solid months you can''t get married.

I''m a teacher too, and everyone says "Why don''t you just marry during the summer, that way you can have a long honeymoon and a lot of extra time before and after to get settled?" That''s great, but my future fiance''s job is hectic during the summer months. I can wait that long, but don''t WANT to :)

I thought about Christmas/New Years wedding, but a lot of people get mad that they are spending their vacation at YOUR wedding when they could have spent it with their families, etc. I always thought weekend before Thanksgiving would be good personally. My future fiance''s birthday is in January as well, so if we got married in Dec/Jan, we''d have so many parties/holidays during those 2 months, and nothing to look forward to for the rest of the year!

I don''t mind taking off during the school year, and I would do it without pay in a heartbeat. BUT it''s looked down upon at my school. They figure if we have 3 months off and we''re asking for more time on top of that, it should only be for family emergencies.
 
Mine was during the summer, but also because DH's job is super-low key in mid-June and he took practically the whole month off.

I know someone that did the weekend before Thanksgiving - could that work? Columbus day? Take the Thurs-Friday off before the wedding and then rest on Monday, do honeymoon during winter break.
 
We got married the day after Christmas (long ago!) so we still had a week off before school started back. However, I know several girls that chose the Saturday before Thanksgiving for their weddings. That way, they only missed 2-3 days of school since there are holidays at the end of the week.
 
I''m a counselor working in a school and I will be getting married on december 27th of this year during the winter break. I never wanted a summer wedding, and that vacation works out perfectly. I have the three days before my wedding off and the entire week after for the honeymoon
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I never considered anything but a summer wedding (we''re getting married July 12th). I also couldn''t imagine trying to do the majority of the planning over the school year because I feel like school seems like my life from Sept. to May, so we got engaged at the end of the summer, took the next summer to plan (and got almost all of it done in 1 month because wedding planning was all I did), and then will get married this coming summer. I know you don''t want to wait that long, so hopefully it will work out for you!

OH, I wanted to add that I subbed for a year before teaching. Although I often heard that I was requested as one of the "good" subs, even if I was in for the content area that I taught, I still felt that it wasn''t my place to even try to teach the kids. I was in for a teacher with chicken pox for a week, and although the class moved forward in the curriculum, I don''t think a whole lot of quality learning was taking place unfortunately.
 
Do you get any personal days? We get three a year in my district. If you do, take them around a weekend- get married then and go on a short honeymoon nearby for a few nights. Then go on a longer honeymoon during the summer or during a break.
 
My district does not really have personal days. If you miss less then 5 days days due to illness the year before you get one bonus day to use as you wish. As long as I dont get sick again this year I should have that. You also get another day once you accumulate 100 sick days. I have taught 8 years so I only have about 80 so I will not have that.

I am sure we will figure something out. I just like to hear what everybody else did. I like the idea of a week or so before springbreak. I know I will have a hard time planning during the year but I dont know what other choice I have. I do not want an enagement over a year. Not when we are semi-long distance and not exactly super young. Thirty is not old by any stretch but I want to be a married a year or two before kids. When you figure that in I feel rushed! lol!
 
There''s no reason you can''t plan a wedding during the school year. You have Saturday''s and at least some afternoons that you can do things.
 
I got married in the fall on a saturday and left monday for my honeymoon...i wound up taking 5 days off in total...there was columbus and a jewish holiday thrown in there..lol....i''ve been at my school a while and the principal understood---especially since i rarely take off.
 
I''m a former teacher and I wouldn''t even consider getting a sub. There aren''t too many good ones out there and I always felt really guilty having to get one whenever I was sick and had no choice.
 
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