Can I change my name AND keep my name?

[Rube]

I need more help!

Today I am off work taking care of last minute wedding things, one being: getting the marriage license! The wedding is a little over a week away, and up until now I assumed I would keep my last name. Both FI and I are artists, might end up publishing, etc., not planning on having children (as of now), so we thought we would keep our own surnames.

So in the last few days, I have been thinking about changing my mind! And yesterday, out of the blue, FI asked me if I wanted to apply for a name change too.

Here''s my question. If I legally change my name, do I always use my new name? I have heard of people using a "professional" name. I just don''t know what each one entails.

I can change my name whenever, I know, but today I can order a duplicate license to take to the social security office. Getting to the courthouse downtown is a pain in the a$$.

Thank you!
Rube

-Please note, we CANNOT hyphenate our names! Together, no spaces, that would be 21 letters.

 

[njc]

What if you add FIs last name, but still just go by your maiden name? Like make it a second middle name maybe?

 

[ame]

make your maiden name your middle name. I did that for work

 

[MINE!!]

I kept all of my names.. First mid and maiden and just added my last. Technically, only the government is going to use all of them. I have student loans in my maiden name and I don''t bother to change them cause I still use it. I also have accounts in both my maiden and married name. On my SS card I use my first mid maiden and married and I use that on my taxes as well.

So you can just add the last name. You do not have to always use it and you do not have to hypenate it either. Hope this helps!

 

[eks6426]

When I was married the first time I tried all sort of variations because I wanted to keep my maiden name as some part of my name. It was a real pain. The basic reality is whatever name is at the end of your name is what people will consider your last name. People just don''t get it if you have 2 last names unless you hypenate. If you try to keep 4 names...first middle maiden married you are always going to have to choose which name you want to delete on a form. Even my local driver''s license bureau couldn''t handle it. So, my advice is to make sure you get down to only 3 names.

I struggled with it so much that I eventually gave up and went back to my maiden name only with my first husband. Now that I just got married for the 2nd time July 3 I am switching everything to my married name only. I am actually going to take the time to change loans, credit cards & even my mortgage. It seems like short term pain for a long term of a much simpler life. My son has my first husband''s name and I didn''t want 3 last names in the same household.....way too much for most people.

Good luck in whatever you decide!

 

[Momoftwo]

A lot of well known women (think celebrities) use their maiden names or whatever name they''re known by in their professional life, but use their married names in private. I''ve seen many interviews where the woman will say, I''m so and so at work, but at my kid''s school, I''m Mrs. blank.

 

[JCJD]

You can have only one "legal" name. This is the name on your SS card, drivers lic, and therefore bank accounts, cc''s, school records, payroll, medical records, tax forms, etc. But the name on your office door doesn''t have to be your legal name if you don''t want it to be. For example, I am now legally JMD, but professionally I will be JMC-D (hypthenating maiden and married names). I''ll have my students call me Dr. D (I like simplicity), but I''ll have "Dr. C-D" on my office door and email signatures and will publish as JMC-D.

This might be too late, but you can change the legal name whenever you want to - doesn''t matter if it''s for your 10 year anniversary even (I think!). So I''d get the duplicate license if I were you, just in case. You can frame it!

 

[Rube]

Thank you guys for all your responses! The whole name thing is much clearer now.

I will probably end up adding his name on to the end of mine, and keep all four. The length is a little obnoxious, but the only thing I could do to shorten it is drop my middle name, which is a very nice 3 letters long!

I actually think I''ll like having the same last name, considering all the conviences. But I''m just not quite ready to give up my family name I guess. My dad only had one girl, no boys, and my aunt had none!

 

[Tacori E-ring]

I am going to drop my middle name and replace it with my maiden name. They way I see it is my first, maiden, and his name mean something to me. My middle name, not so much. I forget its even there! My mom and both grandmas did this so I guess it is also a tradition.

 

[glaucomflecken]

I think I am going to do like JCJD. I''m probably going to change my legal name to his last name, but hyphenate my name professionally and have my patients call me Dr. MarriedName for simplicity. But since I became a doctor under my maiden name and have published/been known in the field under my maiden name, perhaps if I can use it when I publish or present at conferences, people will still recognize me. I also for some reason always thought two last names or hyphenation sounded professional, dont know why.

I like my birth given middle name so I dont want to get rid of it. Also, I have no brothers or male cousins to pass down my dad''s name, and I feel that if I keep it somehow, it will keep my dad''s memory alive.

 

[Logan Sapphire]

I kept all three of my names and added his last name. No hyphen. At work I''m still my maiden name, although now that I''m switching jobs, I''m not sure if I''ll still use my maiden name or just switch to my married name. If I''m putting down my name by itself, I''ll use first name, maiden, married. But if I''m putting down my name with my husband, then I''ll just use our married name. Confusing at times. Sometimes it also feels awkward to spit out first name, maiden, married too.

 

[Rube]

Like a good number of you, I ended up keeping First Middle Maiden NewLast. So far I am Mrs. Maiden-NewLast at the bank, Ms. Maiden at work, together we are Mr. & Mrs. NewLast, and in the galleries, Ms. Maiden & Mr. NewLast. Too much.

But I love it! I love being married!

 

[moremoremore]

I changed my name but haven''t used it once in 3 1/2 years. My cc info, ss card, driver license....I just can''t get used to it e/t it''s a nicer name than mine. So I guess I have an alias LOL...

 

[ame]

I am starting the phasing out process now. I still catch myself when on the phone leaving messages using my maiden name, my intern teases me. My husband gives me trouble when I slip. My friends have got it down, my receptionist calls me Mrs. New Name on the intercom, still, and its still funny. And in stores and restaurants people call me Mrs. Newlastname, though I get the occasional Ms....Maam. My married name is a body part and we get crap, I don''t think in the whole time we''ve been together I have heard a waiter in a restaurant use the last name. Its always MR SIR. Which I laugh out loud at. On our honeymoon was the first time I think ANYone addressed us as such.

 

[rae]

I always thought I would just leave my name exactly the way it is, even after marriage. I am not totally against taking on his name in some way, but I don''t want to lose my maiden name either.

I also wouldn''t want to drop my middle name. I definitely don''t want to hyphenate, and although I don''t mind the "four names" option, I don''t think I would want my NewLast name to be my "surname" on forms etc.... so now I am actually considering going the fourname option, but adding NewLast as the third (ie second middle... or first last?? lol) name... so that I have a link there "officially", but can still be known by my current name....

Plus, we move around for work, if we ever live in a country where living together with separate last names might cause problems, I guess I could then take on "Mrs NewLast" in social circles, if it made things easier....

We won''t be having any kids, so there won''t be that complication.... and as I am an amatuer genealogist, I have come to appreciate the significance of having some sort of link in your names.... after you die, it''s one of the only ways to identify a relationship....

Dunno... sounds a bit silly, maybe... and I haven''t even mentioned this idea to +1 yet (we always said I would not change anything)... so we''ll see. This is just my most current thinking!!

Cheers