Can you all help me plan a long term project?

[winnietucker]

So backstory - something happened this week at work and my hubby is now seriously considering a career change. However, he makes most of the money. He also still wants to try for kids during this change. He wants to do a trial run where we just throw what we expect to pay in extra expenses once we have a kid into our savings (on top of what we already save) to see how it goes. I’m for it. He’ll likely take a big pay cut if he changes careers so having the extra funds to fall back on would be nice and his happiness is worth it.

BUT my impulsive bling buying has to come to an end. It was so short lived too... He’s okay-ed 2 more projects. 1 because I’m selling the toi et moi + consigned 2 pieces with Grace and 1 because it’s our 5 year anni in Jan.

For project 1:
I had already been considering just going for an ACA so I can upgrade willy nilly so I might pull the trigger on that. I was thinking about waiting til the toi et moi sells and then waiting to see if they ever have a 2+ ct L pop up. I really want to start with an L or lower. All my diamonds have been in the K-M range (which I like) and I feel like the lower in color I go, the more upgrade options I have.

Another option would be to buy the two Ls they currently have & an approx 1.6-1.9 ct K and make a 3 stone for more bling/ finger coverage at about the same price? Since the center stone would be smaller that gives me more room to upgrade. I suspect at some point I’d hit the 2.5 ct mark and then would be more or less done for a long time. I don’t want to be too blingy for my area, ya know?

For project 2:
I’m thinking about buying some 0.3ish ct K ACAs and making a 5 stone band. But I was wondering if you can upgrade their melee? If you could I wouldn’t mind going smaller. 0.3ish ct was the smallest they had online.

My goal is to upgrade these all over time. I would really prefer a set of OECs but no one has a good upgrade policy + a good selection so it seems like going that route would make it hard to upgrade. I like the flexibility ACAs provide.

With my 2 project allowance I’d like to venture into something timeless that I can love for a long time but can also switch up very easily for a minimal amount of money. I’ll probably abandon the sapphire project since I’d rather have diamonds.

I feel like bouncing ideas off people helps me figure things out. Thanks all!

 

[winnietucker]

Or third option that just popped into my head - scrap the idea of the diamond band and buy the 2 ACA Ls & a 2+ ct ACA to make a 3 stone ring.

 

[yssie]

The smaller the stone(s) get, the higher the proportion of your spend on setting relative to stone(s). I never recommend buying a band with intention to increase stone size - even if the stones themselves are upgradeable - as the amount of money wasted on the temporary mount is exorbitant.

I think the style and size of the Project #1 ring would most likely determine your goals for #2?

 

[winnietucker]

The smaller the stone(s) get, the higher the proportion of your spend on setting relative to stone(s). I never recommend buying a band with intention to increase stone size - even if the stones themselves are upgradeable - as the amount of money wasted on the temporary mount is exorbitant.

I think the style and size of the Project #1 ring would most likely determine your goals for #2?

Good point. I do have a plain gold band so it’s not like I’m bandless either. I guess I need to figure out if I want to 3 stone it or go for a solitaire.

 

[LilAlex]

The good and exciting news is this: once you have a kid, you will wonder how you had the time, energy, and inclination to ponder the nuances of ring design. It's not a sad or bad thing -- just a priorities thing.

With two working parents with demanding jobs that did not end at 5:00 PM, and two little ones, we saved a lot of money because we were too busy and tired to spend it. Only now, with them (EDIT: kids not spouse ) out of the house, do I dip my toe back into the gem world I loved as a kid...

 

[winnietucker]

The good and exciting news is this: once you have a kid, you will wonder how you had the time, energy, and inclination to ponder the nuances of ring design. It's not a sad or bad thing -- just a priorities thing.

With two working parents with demanding jobs that did not end at 5:00 PM, and two little ones, we saved a lot of money because we were too busy and tired to spend it. Only now, with them (EDIT: kids not spouse ) out of the house, do I dip my toe back into the gem world I loved as a kid...

I believe you. At one point in college I had two part time jobs and a full time job. I was so busy and exhausted, but I don’t think I’ve ever spent less on non-essentials in my (independent adult) life. Having too much free time leads to too much spending for me. Hence this entire year lol.

I also made my last bulk orchid purchase - 18 new plants.

I’m ready for mom life. I think.

 

[RunningwithScissors]

To answer part of your original question, yes you can upgrade WF's certified, ACA's. They start at .30 ct. You can't upgrade true melee which is uncertified and smaller than .30.

But I agree with Yssie that it costs too much to reset tiny diamonds to make it worth it.

You could just collect them and play with them for awhile unset and then trade them up later. But that's only if you will get pleasure from just owning them and looking at them without wearing them. So probably not worth it. (Though I have to say I am enjoying collecting mine for my tennis bracelet project way more than I thought I would. I'm playing with them far too much! I need to put them away and get more work done! )

 

[winnietucker]

To answer part of your original question, yes you can upgrade WF's certified, ACA's. They start at .30 ct. You can't upgrade true melee which is uncertified and smaller than .30.

But I agree with Yssie that it costs too much to reset tiny diamonds to make it worth it.

You could just collect them and play with them for awhile unset and then trade them up later. But that's only if you will get pleasure from just owning them and looking at them without wearing them. So probably not worth it. (Though I have to say I am enjoying collecting mine for my tennis bracelet project way more than I thought I would. I'm playing with them far too much! I need to put them away and get more work done! )

I saw your post! That project is going to be fab!!

I lose interest in things waaaay too quickly. I’d need to have it set so I could at least use it and retain some interest. TBF - I do spend a lot of time looking at my rings on the daily when I have them on. I love watching them sparkle. My husband always teases me.

So it sounds like the band idea is just really not that great of an idea. Thanks all cause that saves me the money! I do want a diamond band though and did find this band on eBay (listed around $1800 IIRC).

Classic Asscher Cut Eight Stone Diamond Ring in Platinum (1 1/5 ct. tw.) | Blue Nile

Timeless in design, this beautiful ring showcases eight brilliant Asscher-cut diamonds carefully set in a gleaming platinum band allowing the diamonds to truly shine.

www.bluenile.com

I’m wondering if this could take place of project 2? I’ve been wanting a step cut band so maybe I can try platinum? I do have some reservations cause I prefer yellow gold and not mixing metals.

 

[diamondseeker2006]

Totally agree that the small stones need to be your end goal specs when you buy them. I'd focus all the money on getting the best single ACA you can buy with your budget. Don't buy side stones until you are at your final upgrade for the center stone. By then you may not even want a three stone! You can get a 5 stone band for some anniversary in the future. I wouldn't try to do all that now. Like LilAlex said, I was far to busy with work and kids to get heavily into jewelry during those years. I picked back up on that hobby at about 50 with just a very few nice pieces of jewelry in between!

 

[winnietucker]

Totally agree that the small stones need to be your end goal specs when you buy them. I'd focus all the money on getting the best single ACA you can buy with your budget. Don't buy side stones until you are at your final upgrade for the center stone. By then you may not even want a three stone! You can get a 5 stone band for some anniversary in the future. I wouldn't try to do all that now. Like LilAlex said, I was far to busy with work and kids to get heavily into jewelry during those years. I picked back up on that hobby at about 50 with just a very few nice pieces of jewelry in between!

This makes sense. There is a 2.1 ct K ACA I’ve had my eye on. I may wait a little bit to see what else becomes available. I really have my heart set on my first ACA being an L or lower.

 

[vintageinjune]

I really want to start with an L or lower. All my diamonds have been in the K-M range (which I like) and I feel like the lower in color I go, the more upgrade options I have.

I suspect at some point I’d hit the 2.5 ct mark and then would be more or less done for a long time. I don’t want to be too blingy for my area, ya know?

Here me out, I don't know what your budget is but there is this sweet little thing hiding over at Brian Gavin: 2.526 ct, N color, VVS1 , signature hearts and arrows cut, and under $15k.

2.526 N VVS1 Signature Round

Buy diamonds online - AGS graded 2.526 carat N VVS1 Round super ideal cut Brian Gavin Cape Diamond. Lifetime Upgrade Policy!

www.briangavindiamonds.com

 

[nala]

So I hope you don’t take my input the wrong way, but I have been following your journey so I want to throw this out there. You mention that ideally you would like a 5 stone oec—in lower colors—and a 3 stone as second ring. I can’t help but wonder why you didn’t make a 3 stone out of the antique 3 stone that you bought? It kind of seems like that would combine both of your wants.

 

[winnietucker]

Here me out, I don't know what your budget is but there is this sweet little thing hiding over at Brian Gavin: 2.526 ct, N color, VVS1 , signature hearts and arrows cut, and under $15k.

2.526 N VVS1 Signature Round

Buy diamonds online - AGS graded 2.526 carat N VVS1 Round super ideal cut Brian Gavin Cape Diamond. Lifetime Upgrade Policy!

www.briangavindiamonds.com

I saw that! Their upgrade policy is a little more restrictive AFAIK though so unless he does another sale, I’ll probably stick with WF.

So I hope you don’t take my input the wrong way, but I have been following your journey so I want to throw this out there. You mention that ideally you would like a 5 stone oec—in lower colors—and a 3 stone as second ring. I can’t help but wonder why you didn’t make a 3 stone out of the antique 3 stone that you bought? It kind of seems like that would combine both of your wants.

My biggest issues with the diamonds I currently own are that they’re not the sizes I want them to be. I think 1.4 & 1.5 ct diamonds are too large for side stones. I could have kept the 1.1 ct and found a match for that, but I wouldn’t have wanted the 1.4 or the 1.5 as a center - I’d want larger. Ideally in a 3 stone my center would be 2.5ish ct and my sides would be 1 ct or lower each.

Same with the 1.3 ct RB I own. It’s too small for what I want a center stone to be but too large to become a side stone. I did toy with the idea when I had the 3.3 ct RB but it was too much... and I had bigger fingers then. I didn’t expect the original vendor to close. This all more or less really kicked off when I was searching for my upgrade. If the vendor was still open I would have just upgraded through them into a nice 2+ ct RB and been about my day.

The pandemic, having everything I was looking forward to being cancelled, and then getting stuck at home with little to do turned this journey into a rollercoaster. This was supposed to be the year we were done with constant renovations (sold the first house, not renovating the current one) and really lived it up before having a kid. We were going to go on a bunch of vacations and I was going to see my grandma but instead I got to have a fence installed and some trees removed/ trimmed. Jewelry was my excitement for the year so I more or less justified the flip flopping that way.

Plus I want to be able to upgrade so the OECs are not it.

 

[yssie]

2020 was wretched. I think we all feel ya on that bit!

I realize you asked for input on your purchases, not your purchases’ context, but - you really have gone through a lot of stones in the past year. The idea of someone needlessly taking a bath on yet more expensive existing (and beautiful, if not quite right) jewellery to fund expensive new jewellery right before the primary breadwinner makes a significant career change (which is a pay cut and which may or may not work out), potentially right before additional large expenses with a baby, whilst this pandemic still rages (here in the US at least)... If you were my friend IRL I’d tell you to step back and cool off, and see what life is like in four, five, six months.

 

[vintageinjune]

I saw that! Their upgrade policy is a little more restrictive AFAIK though so unless he does another sale, I’ll probably stick with WF.

Aw, that makes sense. I am not terribly familiar with either, but I did notice when reading through BG's upgrade policies while there was no minimum dollar amount listed that you must spend to upgrade, it did say :

"ALL upgrades need to include two of the three following variables - size, color and clarity, additional charges may apply at time of upgrade"

Have you thought about contacting Wink at HPD to see if what it would cost to have an L/M CBI custom cut for you? Their upgrade policies are quite generous as well, and maybe it would be best to wait until you can get what you truly desire instead of patching together almost-there-but-not-quite pieces?

The massive disappointments that have blanketed this year are at times suffocating, and having something to look forward to sometimes can feel (at least for me) like the only thing helping us pull through. BUT, only you can really decide if it is worth having something on your finger that when you look at it, you know is temporary, or waiting a bit longer to get what your heart wants.

 

[winnietucker]

2020 was wretched. I think we all feel ya on that bit!

I realize you asked for input on your purchases, not your purchases’ context, but - the idea of someone needlessly taking a bath on expensive existing (and beautiful, if not quite right) jewellery to fund expensive new jewellery right before the primary breadwinner makes a significant career change (which is a pay cut and which may or may not work out), potentially right before additional large expenses with a baby, whilst this pandemic still rages (here in the US at least)... If you were my friend IRL I’d tell you to step back and cool off, and see what life is like in four, five, six months.

I have no issue with waiting a bit. I plan to really step way from PS come spring so I can put this same focus/ energy on my yard and garden. That’ll help to kill any jewelry temptations. I expect 2021 to be 2020 pt 2 so I’m going to take this time to get my landscaping in order.

Aw, that makes sense. I am not terribly familiar with either, but I did notice when reading through BG's upgrade policies while there was no minimum dollar amount listed that you must spend to upgrade, it did say :

"ALL upgrades need to include two of the three following variables - size, color and clarity, additional charges may apply at time of upgrade"

Have you thought about contacting Wink at HPD to see if what it would cost to have an L/M CBI custom cut for you? Their upgrade policies are quite generous as well, and maybe it would be best to wait until you can get what you truly desire instead of patching together almost-there-but-not-quite pieces?

The massive disappointments that have blanketed this year are at times suffocating, and having something to look forward to sometimes can feel (at least for me) like the only thing helping us pull through. BUT, only you can really decide if it is worth having something on your finger that when you look at it, you know is temporary, or waiting a bit longer to get what your heart wants.

I love HPD’s upgrade program but their website says the custom cut isn’t for lower colors so I never pursued it. I do watch their website though. They seem to occasionally have a lower colored CBI. These are all more or less the same to me so I don’t need a super ideal right now. I can wait.

Also - 2020 did suck. I’m not planning anything fun for 2021. Can’t be disappointed if you’ve planned for a boring year.

 

[yssie]

I don’t think you’re going to be happy with RBs. Even though they are much more convenient and upgradeable. I recall you were considering recutting your 1.3 RB and that stone has “excellent” proportions by any objective or subjective metric - light return and personality of boutique precision cut MRBs will be really similar.

 

[MRBXXXFVVS1]

Congrats on your DH following his dream! I would advise holding off on the projects and saving the funds instead. There seems to be a lot of upcoming changes, and it's nice not to worry about finances so that you can focus on and enjoy the more important things - DH's career change and starting a family. You can always get more bling later on and it will be something to dream about and look forward to!

 

[winnietucker]

I really don’t think you’re going to be happy with RBs. Even if they are convenient. I recall you were considering recutting your 1.3 RB and that stone had “excellent” proportions by any objective or subjective metric. Light return from boutique precision cut MRBs will be very similar.

Oh yes the recut idea was mostly me wondering if it’d be worth it to get it to super ideal proportions after a comment about it being “too deep” and therefore not as good. Super ideals are heavily pushed here and GIA triple ex diamonds aren’t noted to always be that great. I’ve since seen a super ideal in person and am now comfortable knowing I could go either way. But at the time I was worried I got an inferior diamond with my GIA triple ex. I no longer feel that it’s inferior.

 

[winnietucker]

Congrats on your DH following his dream! I would advise holding off on the projects and saving the funds instead. There seems to be a lot of upcoming changes, and it's nice not to worry about finances so that you can focus on and enjoy the more important things - DH's career change and starting a family. You can always get more bling later on and it will be something to deal about and look forward to!

He hasn’t yet. We’ll see how it goes. He’s tried off and on for the past 4.5ish years. He got pretty close once but they went with someone who was closer to becoming a licensed engineer... because apparently the degree and the job title don’t make you an engineer (at least per that one company) and you have to also get a license through the state. I keep telling him to try for Boeing but he has no interest in them.

But I’m totally fine with waiting. If the ACA I’m watching gets snapped up, there are others I could go with.

 

[Austina]

I’m really sorry if I’m sticking my nose in here @winnietucker, and I don’t want this to come across as ”I’m older so I know best”, but I’ve had a lot of jewellery over the years which scratched the itch at the time, but they weren’t IT.

Ultimately now I can look back, I realise that I didn’t actually know what I really wanted, it was only when I joined PS and saw another members OEC in real life, that I understood that was it for me. I really thought I wanted an ACA, and the plan was to go to WF and look, but before that happened I met @missy, and the rest is history.

I hope your dream of having children comes true and your DH finds the career he wants. I think your plan to step back for a while to focus on other things sounds great.

 

[winnietucker]

I’m really sorry if I’m sticking my nose in here @winnietucker, and I don’t want this to come across as ”I’m older so I know best”, but I’ve had a lot of jewellery over the years which scratched the itch at the time, but they weren’t IT.

Ultimately now I can look back, I realise that I didn’t actually know what I really wanted, it was only when I joined PS and saw another members OEC in real life, that I understood that was it for me. I really thought I wanted an ACA, and the plan was to go to WF and look, but before that happened I met @missy, and the rest is history.

I hope your dream of having children comes true and your DH finds the career he wants. I think your plan to step back for a while to focus on other things sounds great.

Not at all! I asked for feedback. It helps me bounce ideas off people and get their opinions. As you all probably noticed, I may not listen but helps me figure things out.

And FWIW - while I would have preferred not to take a loss, I’m not super upset about taking a bath on the items I already own. It’s a sunk cost. Keeping the items doesn’t help me either. It’s more or less the cost of a hobby, I think.

But I will say I agree that I also prefer OECs. So gorgeous. But only I&R and Alex Park seem to have upgrade policies. And neither has the selection I’d want. If Distinctive Gem offered something similar to WF’s upgrade policy on their heritage OECs (or is it august vintage still?) I wouldn’t even need to ask - I’d just go there.

I’ll let it simmer for a bit and see where I go. Waiting is sounding more appealing.

 

[Decision_Decisions]

I can totally understand where you're coming from. While my collection is minimal compared to many here, I have spent way too much on the wrong things over the years instead of just saving more or waiting or treating myself to what I really wanted. Sometime I don't even know what it is I really want.

I feel like you really want an OEC and that you're really only considering an ACA for the upgrade policy. I would agree that waiting seems like the best policy. Maybe get yourself a diamond band in the meantime but put a big upgrade off for a bit to see if your tastes stay the same. A 5 stone for 5 years is what we did and I didn't even wear my engagement ring for the first 5 years I had it because I love it so much!

 

[diamondseeker2006]

In light of what you just said, you need to save for the stone you really want. Yes, I can't upgrade my AVR, but I got one that was perfect in the first place so I really don't need to upgrade it! I might set it with side stones one day, though.

When dealing with new or old OECs, you absolutely must not settle for stones that are less than you want. You have to save and wait for the perfect one. Then you still have the flexibility of making a three stone. But NEVER buy any specialty cut or antique stone with the idea of upgrading, because you'll almost always lose money.

 

[Polyhex]

Just to throw out a few more ideas..

Have you worn an L colored modern brilliant? In my experience, they hold a lot more color than old cuts. I love color in old cuts. Last year as an experiment, I was able to buy two well-cut modern brilliant GIA M .55 and .54 ct stones for very little money (like $800), and I was really surprised at how different they look vs my M, N, OP, and even WX old cuts.

BTW, Alex Park works with a diamond cutter, Solstar Diamonds, that can recut stones to a perfect, ideal OEC cut. That's what my diamond is, I recut a 5.7 ct OEC with issues to 5.03 ct perfection. And it was a LOT less expensive than buying a branded stone, whether branded old cut or branded super-ideal.

 

[diamondseeker2006]

Just to throw out a few more ideas..

Have you worn an L colored modern brilliant? In my experience, they hold a lot more color than old cuts. I love color in old cuts. Last year as an experiment, I was able to buy two well-cut modern brilliant GIA M .55 and .54 ct stones for very little money (like $800), and I was really surprised at how different they look vs my M, N, OP, and even WX old cuts.

BTW, Alex Park works with a diamond cutter, Solstar Diamonds, that can recut stones to a perfect, ideal OEC cut. That's what my diamond is, I recut a 5.7 ct OEC with issues to 5.03 ct perfection. And it was a LOT less expensive than buying a branded stone, whether branded old cut or branded super-ideal.

Wow, that is awesome!!! I actually have an OEC in O color that was recut by Jonathan. It's a great solution to get a well cut stone at a more reasonable price! (If one is willing to take the risk of possible damage, but I seriously have not ever heard of that actually happening here.)

I was JUST about to come post that there's no way I'd want a low color modern round because they just look dull in color, whereas old cuts with large facets look much better, in my opinion.

 

[winnietucker]

Just to throw out a few more ideas..

Have you worn an L colored modern brilliant? In my experience, they hold a lot more color than old cuts. I love color in old cuts. Last year as an experiment, I was able to buy two well-cut modern brilliant GIA M .55 and .54 ct stones for very little money (like $800), and I was really surprised at how different they look vs my M, N, OP, and even WX old cuts.

BTW, Alex Park works with a diamond cutter, Solstar Diamonds, that can recut stones to a perfect, ideal OEC cut. That's what my diamond is, I recut a 5.7 ct OEC with issues to 5.03 ct perfection. And it was a LOT less expensive than buying a branded stone, whether branded old cut or branded super-ideal.

I’ve only been as far down as a K in a RB but with WF’s trade up policy it wouldn’t be a big deal since I could upgrade color pretty easily. I loved my K color wise. I’m not color sensitive. And I do get a generous bonus ever year that’s not counted in our budget (and never will be) so I could easily just use that money to upgrade color/ size if I found an L was too warm for me.

Do you have to buy the OEC from Alex Park to use his cutter? How does that work? Ilya from I&R previously told me they could get their diamonds recut if I wanted too but I wasn’t confident enough to pull the trigger.

 

[Polyhex]

Wow, that is awesome!!! I actually have an OEC in O color that was recut by Jonathan. It's a great solution to get a well cut stone at a more reasonable price! (If one is willing to take the risk of possible damage, but I seriously have not ever heard of that actually happening here.)

That's awesome. Yes, my understanding is that it really never happens, that's why dealers have stones recut all the time without insurance.

I was JUST about to come post that there's no way I'd want a low color modern round because they just look dull in color, whereas old cuts with large facets look much better, in my opinion.

I am both color-sensitive and color-tolerant and honestly the M modern cuts look kind of dingy. It's hard to quantify why, they look fine in photos, but in real life they are blown away by the OECs I have or had have in GIA M, OP, and estimated WX and N, even though those OECs are much larger, from 1.71 - 5.7 cts and hence should show more color. I did buy some .30 ct modern cut Ks at the same time and liked them much better.

Do you have to buy the OEC from Alex Park to use his cutter? How does that work? Ilya from I&R previously told me they could get their diamonds recut if I wanted too but I wasn’t confident enough to pull the trigger.

No. Solstar works with the trade because they don't have consumer-facing customer service, but I believe any jeweler can put in an order with them. The recut of my 5.7 ct cost $900, smaller stones likely cost quite a bit less (he cleaned up the girdle on another stone for me for only $10!) It's just that Alex Park does not add any on top of Solstar's cost if it's a stone bought through him, whereas most jewelers will probably charge you a service fee for handling the transaction.

 

[winnietucker]

That's awesome. Yes, my understanding is that it really never happens, that's why dealers have stones recut all the time without insurance.



I am both color-sensitive and color-tolerant and honestly the M modern cuts look kind of dingy. It's hard to quantify why, they look fine in photos, but in real life they are blown away by the OECs I have or had have in GIA M, OP, and estimated WX and N, even though those OECs are much larger, from 1.71 - 5.7 cts and hence should show more color. I did buy some .30 ct modern cut Ks at the same time and liked them much better.



No. Solstar works with the trade because they don't have consumer-facing customer service, but I believe any jeweler can put in an order with them. The recut of my 5.7 ct cost $900, smaller stones likely cost quite a bit less (he cleaned up the girdle on another stone for me for only $10!) It's just that Alex Park does not add any on top of Solstar's cost if it's a stone bought through him, whereas most jewelers will probably charge you a service fee for handling the transaction.

Oh this way, way cheaper than I was expecting it to be. Did you reach out to Alex or was it a stone he listed?

 

[Rfisher]

Just to throw out a few more ideas..

Have you worn an L colored modern brilliant? In my experience, they hold a lot more color than old cuts. I love color in old cuts. Last year as an experiment, I was able to buy two well-cut modern brilliant GIA M .55 and .54 ct stones for very little money (like $800), and I was really surprised at how different they look vs my M, N, OP, and even WX old cuts.

BTW, Alex Park works with a diamond cutter, Solstar Diamonds, that can recut stones to a perfect, ideal OEC cut. That's what my diamond is, I recut a 5.7 ct OEC with issues to 5.03 ct perfection. And it was a LOT less expensive than buying a branded stone, whether branded old cut or branded super-ideal.

I’m sorry to threadjack @winnietucker

But @Polyhex
Have you posted somewhere pics of your gorgeous diamond before the recut tweak that was done?