LollyBear
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Chinese Tea Ceremony?
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CdnBlingGal
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LollyBear
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Yes, we''d do it the same day as the wedding and yes, your reply is very helpful. Thank you!
My FI is Chinese and his mother keeps asking whether we''ll be doing it which I take that to mean she wants us to. His cousin did it after the wedding ceremony and I wasn''t sure if this was when it is traditionally done. I didn''t want to ask his mom and gets her hopes up if we decided not to do it.
My FI is Chinese and his mother keeps asking whether we''ll be doing it which I take that to mean she wants us to. His cousin did it after the wedding ceremony and I wasn''t sure if this was when it is traditionally done. I didn''t want to ask his mom and gets her hopes up if we decided not to do it.
qtiekiki
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Of all the wedding I went to, they all had the tea ceremony before the wedding ceremony. I guess it really depends on how traditional the family is and the timeline of the wedding. My fiance''s parents (I consider them pretty traditional) went to a fortune teller and he picked a time for my fiance to pick me up (which is supposed to be between 9:00am - 10:59am, so it''s basically dictate how our timeline goes).
CdnBlingGal
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The tea ceremony is more out of respect, that''s what was told to me. I really didn''t want to have one as I''m less traditional. But my sisters all said my parents would be dissappointed. Then the 4 of them worked on my husband telling him that he''ll make bonus points with my parents if we''d have one (he''s Caucasian). He bowed down, literally and persuaded me.
LollyBear
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LOL, CdnBlingGal, that''s so funny that he had to convince you. It''s basically the same with my FI and me. He is the Chinese one and here is his Puertorican fiance trying to talk him into a tea ceremony.
qtiekiki, I want to do it because his family is pretty traditional and I know they will appreciate it. I''m just glad that we''ll be able to do it before since there isn''t any time to do it btwn the ceremony and reception.
Eek
, now I have to see if I can make arrangements in the 6 weeks we have left. Do you think I should get one of those red cheongsam dresses?
qtiekiki, I want to do it because his family is pretty traditional and I know they will appreciate it. I''m just glad that we''ll be able to do it before since there isn''t any time to do it btwn the ceremony and reception.
Eek
qtiekiki
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LollyBear,
I had seen bride wear their wedding gown during the tea ceremony, and I had seen qungua (it could be a regional, but I am not sure) but I hadn't really seen cheongsam for tea ceremony although I don't know the reason why. I think it's appropriate to have cheongsam if you want. It's such a nice gesture for you to want to incorporate the tea ceremony.
Here's a picture of the qungua
I had seen bride wear their wedding gown during the tea ceremony, and I had seen qungua (it could be a regional, but I am not sure) but I hadn't really seen cheongsam for tea ceremony although I don't know the reason why. I think it's appropriate to have cheongsam if you want. It's such a nice gesture for you to want to incorporate the tea ceremony.
Here's a picture of the qungua
LollyBear
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qtiekiki, that outfit is lovely, thank you for the suggestion. I would prefer not to do the tea ceremony in my wedding dress being that I''m a HUGE clutz and would probably get it dirty. I can just see myself walking down the aisle with a big spot on the skirt if I tried that.
Thank you so much for the help.
Thank you so much for the help.
flopkins
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Date: 8/8/2005 5:10:27 PM
Author: LollyBear
LOL, CdnBlingGal, that''s so funny that he had to convince you. It''s basically the same with my FI and me. He is the Chinese one and here is his Puertorican fiance trying to talk him into a tea ceremony.
qtiekiki, I want to do it because his family is pretty traditional and I know they will appreciate it. I''m just glad that we''ll be able to do it before since there isn''t any time to do it btwn the ceremony and reception.
Eek, now I have to see if I can make arrangements in the 6 weeks we have left. Do you think I should get one of those red cheongsam dresses?
are youkidding? tell your FI that a tea ceremony = getting fat red envelopes from your family... I wouldn''t pass it up if his mom wants one!
and abt the cheongsam, they''re beautiful and you can easily find one off the rack in any chinatown. I''m using my mom''s cheongsam as my reception dress!
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CdnBlingGal
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flopkins: Ya, your right. Getting the fat red envelopes ''lai see'' is the best part. Also, I got a lot of 24k gold jewellery, necklaces, chains, and rings. Quite gawdy IMO, as I think it''s too pure and too yellow.
During the ceremony, my Dh being the only Caucasian in the family, one of my sisters'' told him that he has to kiss her feet mostly for a joke but he did, not literally but he did bow down low enough to kiss her shoes she had on.
qtiekiki: Nice. Funny you got that picture. 2 of my sisters wore that typeof dress. My eldest even wore that big headpiece, the one that has beads hanging in fromt of her face. Her husband wore the black outfit with the red bow in the middle with the black beanie hat.
She''s very traditional. She made the trip to HK to get this stuff. Just nuts IMO.
Lollybear: i agree with the other gals. Wear a regular cheorgsam that you can simply find in Chinatown.
During the ceremony, my Dh being the only Caucasian in the family, one of my sisters'' told him that he has to kiss her feet mostly for a joke but he did, not literally but he did bow down low enough to kiss her shoes she had on.
qtiekiki: Nice. Funny you got that picture. 2 of my sisters wore that typeof dress. My eldest even wore that big headpiece, the one that has beads hanging in fromt of her face. Her husband wore the black outfit with the red bow in the middle with the black beanie hat.
She''s very traditional. She made the trip to HK to get this stuff. Just nuts IMO.
Lollybear: i agree with the other gals. Wear a regular cheorgsam that you can simply find in Chinatown.
LollyBear
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widget
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Would I be intruding if I jumped in and asked exactly what is a "tea ceremony"?
I just did a search and found a great old thread about Asian wedding traditions...the T.S. was mentioned but not described.
I gathered from that thread that incorporating some of the old traditions can be a headache for some modern brides....but they sound utterly charming to me!
Thanks!
widget
I just did a search and found a great old thread about Asian wedding traditions...the T.S. was mentioned but not described.
I gathered from that thread that incorporating some of the old traditions can be a headache for some modern brides....but they sound utterly charming to me!
Thanks!
widget
Tybee
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flopkins
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widget and tybee -
this is a link to some info about traditional Chinese weddings that might be interesting. In the old Chinese culture, the wedding ceremony is simply the couple visiting the family altar, and paying respects to the ancestors. Of course, there are a lot of customs surrounding this, regarding how the bride is given away/accepted by the groom's family. (In the traditional culture, the woman is 'bartered' to her husband's family, and becomes their 'property')
The Tea Ceremony as it is done today is a ritual that pays respect to the elders of the family (both bride and groom) by serving them tea. Usually the elders are all seated, and the couple goes around, and kneels in front of each set of parents/grandparents/uncles/etc... and you simply serve them tea! In exchange, they give you red envelopes, usu w/cash. Gold jewelry is also common, and is usu considered part of the bride's trosseau (sp?!).
Oftentimes you will see Chinese brides at huge (usu hundreds, 300-500 is not uncommon) Chinese banquet receptions, in the traditional red silk cheong sam and weighed down with LOTS of 24kt gold BLING!!
The traditional Chinese reception is a 10 course banquet - usually with a cold plate/appetizer, shark fin soup, shrimp, duck, abalone or scallops, crab or lobster, fish, I can't remember them all ... usu ending with fried rice. I just went to one this weekend! Yum!
Oh, and another interesting tradition practiced by the Cantonese is that the groom is supposed to present an entire roast pig to the bride's family!
According to
here the pig represents virginity.
Anyhow, hope this offers a bit of insight into the tradition!
PS. I also want to add that I don't think this is a strictly Chinese tradition, I believe most of the Asian cultures have something similar.
PPS. Any other Chinese out there pls correct me if I'm wrong on any of the info, I'm not exactly an expert, being born in the US and all!
this is a link to some info about traditional Chinese weddings that might be interesting. In the old Chinese culture, the wedding ceremony is simply the couple visiting the family altar, and paying respects to the ancestors. Of course, there are a lot of customs surrounding this, regarding how the bride is given away/accepted by the groom's family. (In the traditional culture, the woman is 'bartered' to her husband's family, and becomes their 'property')
The Tea Ceremony as it is done today is a ritual that pays respect to the elders of the family (both bride and groom) by serving them tea. Usually the elders are all seated, and the couple goes around, and kneels in front of each set of parents/grandparents/uncles/etc... and you simply serve them tea! In exchange, they give you red envelopes, usu w/cash. Gold jewelry is also common, and is usu considered part of the bride's trosseau (sp?!).
Oftentimes you will see Chinese brides at huge (usu hundreds, 300-500 is not uncommon) Chinese banquet receptions, in the traditional red silk cheong sam and weighed down with LOTS of 24kt gold BLING!!
Oh, and another interesting tradition practiced by the Cantonese is that the groom is supposed to present an entire roast pig to the bride's family!
here the pig represents virginity.
Anyhow, hope this offers a bit of insight into the tradition!
PS. I also want to add that I don't think this is a strictly Chinese tradition, I believe most of the Asian cultures have something similar.
PPS. Any other Chinese out there pls correct me if I'm wrong on any of the info, I'm not exactly an expert, being born in the US and all!
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allycat0303
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flopkins
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Date: 8/10/2005 2:11:51 AM
Author: Dancing Fire
flopkins
WOW !!!!
are you sure you''re an ABC?
DF- haha... yes, well, I used to watch chinese soap operas with my grandma when I was little, and I''ve been to a good number of those *yum* chinese banquets... so I guess you could say I know about the chinese culture stuff when it involves good food and red envelopes...
widget
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bopitaddict
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lol, it''s always something new... i had to buy her parents these cakes that were specially made in chinatown so that they could give them to all their relatives and friends... she also mentioned something about a live chicken, but i think we''re going to skip that one.Date: 8/9/2005 3:43:33 AM
Author: flopkins
Oh, and another interesting tradition practiced by the Cantonese is that the groom is supposed to present an entire roast pig to the bride''s family!According to
here the pig represents virginity.
AriaStereo
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I''ve actually seen it done both ways: before or after the cermony. I know tea ceremonies can be performed when the groom goes and picks up the bride. This is more traditional I suppose. I''ve also seen the western+chinese combined weddings where they do it after the ceremony in a private room at the reception venue.
As for the gold jewelry and the whole bling bling, mom told me that traditionally the groom''s family provides them for the bride to wear, and therefore, it is a ''display''/sign for the guests to see what a wealthy family the bride is marrying into.
As for the gold jewelry and the whole bling bling, mom told me that traditionally the groom''s family provides them for the bride to wear, and therefore, it is a ''display''/sign for the guests to see what a wealthy family the bride is marrying into.
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that tradition has been around forever.Date: 8/11/2005 1:15:45 AM
Author: bopitaddict
lol, it''s always something new... i had to buy her parents these cakes that were specially made in chinatown so that they could give them to all their relatives and friends... she also mentioned something about a live chicken, but i think we''re going to skip that one.Date: 8/9/2005 3:43:33 AM
Author: flopkins
Oh, and another interesting tradition practiced by the Cantonese is that the groom is supposed to present an entire roast pig to the bride''s family!According to
here the pig represents virginity.
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you could of fool me....ABCDate: 8/10/2005 8:56:47 PM
Author: flopkins
Date: 8/10/2005 2:11:51 AM
Author: Dancing Fire
flopkins
WOW !!!!are you sure you''re an ABC?
DF- haha... yes, well, I used to watch chinese soap operas with my grandma when I was little, and I''ve been to a good number of those *yum* chinese banquets... so I guess you could say I know about the chinese culture stuff when it involves good food and red envelopes...
cutes814
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LOL!! I agree! Flopkins, you know it very well. My parents like to keep the Chinese tradition running through the family, so I would be considered old fashioned as well.Date: 8/11/2005 3:44:37 AM
Author: Dancing Fire
you could of fool me....ABCyou sound more like grandma from teh old country. hee,hee
*Still giggling* Hehehe, grandma from the old country.............
flopkins
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DiaDiva
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codex57
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We had the tea ceremony before the wedding. Err, I believe it was a wedding since it was really the 10 course dinner reception. I had to show up at her house and bring male family members and we each had trays of stuff like wine, fruit, abolone, mushrooms, etc. Then, me and my wife served tea to all the elders.
I have no idea what traditions are what. She''s Chinese born in Vietnam. Really Tiew Jio Chinese. She said her tradition also normally brings a roast pig, but we didn''t do that since her mom didn''t like the idea of slaughtering a poor pig for that.
I was told another custom was where the groom comes up to the bride''s house and has to knock on the door. There, he''s gotta basically pay a bunch of money before the bride''s family will let him through the door. There can be multiple doors. Apparently, my bro-in-law had to do this with his wife.
I have no idea what traditions are what. She''s Chinese born in Vietnam. Really Tiew Jio Chinese. She said her tradition also normally brings a roast pig, but we didn''t do that since her mom didn''t like the idea of slaughtering a poor pig for that.
I was told another custom was where the groom comes up to the bride''s house and has to knock on the door. There, he''s gotta basically pay a bunch of money before the bride''s family will let him through the door. There can be multiple doors. Apparently, my bro-in-law had to do this with his wife.
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