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Choosing a wedding band: what played (or is playING) into your decision?

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musey

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I've been going in circles for months and months on this wedding band issue. I am definitely overthinking it. However, it's gotten me quite curious as to others' thought processes on the subject.

What influence played/are playing into your decision making process?
(This is the main point of my post, so feel free to stop reading here and skip the rest
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Here's my crazy process so far, if you feel like reading a novella:

At first, I thought I wanted plain, plain, plain. Nothing states "married" better than a plain band, right? It's there 24 hours a day, never needs to be taken off for showers or housework. Plus, it's so classy... makes absolutely no statement about the person wearing it, other than that they are, in fact, married.

Then, once I tried different widths and dome shapes, I decided that plain bands just didn't compliment my e-ring. Once I'd made that decision, I felt more comfortable admitting to myself that a plain band was... well, just not what I wanted, for whatever reason (this I still can't make sense of).

So I went to bead-set and antique bands, because if anything would compliment my ring, it would be that. I've tried on a bunch and are still a few in the running. Funnily enough, once I started trying on diamond bands, I discovered that that felt more like an actual "wedding band" to me than a plain band did. Weird, huh? Maybe just because that's what is/has been more popular as of the last few years?

I think I love the idea of a diamond band visually, but I'm afraid that it'll mean not being able to wear it all the time. I'd be afraid of damaging it. And, truth be told, I'm really not sure that I want a "backup" band. If I have to have a backup for my wedding band, then I somehow feel like I chose the wrong wedding band for me. This is still a weird internal argument for me, as you may be able to tell.
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Now I'm revisiting metal-only bands, but engraved antiquey styles. However, once I opened the pandora's box of diamond bands, I'm having trouble with the idea of going "back to" metal bands. You know, once I discovered that for some strange reason, a diamond band is what says "married" to me, over a plain one.


I've been thinking about this since LAST APRIL. That is far too long a time. It makes me worry that I'll never feel "decided" on this issue.
 
LMAO. I was SO confused for the first three paragraphs! I thought we were talking about MUSIC bands. Not jewelry. D''Oh.

I haven''t picked mine yet. But I''m going for BLING. They are both going to be 3/4 eternity. I have a five stone I can wear if I want low key, so I want my engagement and wedding set to be eye catching.


Don''t know if that helps. With your lovley e-ring I''d probably go with a horizontally set baguette eternity band though, if I were you. And I wouldn''t do a back up. Maybe just a five or seven stone alternative band down the road, a completely different look, ya know?
 
Hi Musey!

I had been having a similar debate. When FI frst proposed, I knew I''d never have a flush fit band because of the design of the ering. FI also said he preferred the look of the wb on the other hand, since the ering stood up so well on its own.

I thought I was set.

Until I tried on an almost matching band. And though "well - this could work. And it *looks* bridal-y". I think I started having a fear about maybe making the wrong choice, and not getting a traditional set and everything.

I tried to convince FI to get both - I couldn''t decide but didn''t want to give up my shared prong eternity band (option number 1 before the matching set).

I struggled.

It seemed silly to be having such a hard time, but I think it was because it was one of the first decisions that I couldn''t base exclusively on research. No matter how hard i looked - no one would tell me the answer.

Then the daniel k bands went on sale at pearlmans - and my size was there. I called. I took a day - and it was gone! (Luckily it went to the lovely Dani, so I am thrilled for her!).

I may be silly, but I took it as a sign, and I ordered the shared prong eternity band. I figured that it was what I originally wanted, and it was what FI preferred.

Also, the main reason for thinking of the thin matching band was for that so called traditional married look - and I feel like I''m not all that traditional - I mean I am using a lot of traditions in the wedding, but I''m okay not doing that with the ring.

I''m not sure if I made the perfect choice - but at the end of it, it is a beautiful ring that will symbolize our union. Ugh. even writing this makes me wonder if I did the right thing.

Meh. Sorry I couldn''t be any help - just telling you that you are not the only one to have these issues!
 
Honestly, I am glad I wasn''t aware of PS when I chose my wedding band. (Blasphemous statement here, I know, sorry.) We went to our jeweler, chose DH''s, and then it came down to choosing mine. I originally wanted something Beverly K-ish, antiquey, etc., or just a plain wide plat. band to go with my 2 mm plat. solitaire, but the jeweler showed me a few plat. bands he had in stock that featured diamonds and after trying on a few it was apparent that the one with two rows of princess cuts invisibly set looked the best with my e-ring, would be the most wearable, and since we were just three weeks away from our wedding date, we bought it right then and there. Done deal. Now...had I had more time to shop around or known there were so many options, maybe I''d have made a different choice, but what''s done is done and I really haven''t looked back since. I''m 90% happy with my choice. After finding PS, I did realize I could''ve changed the experience, so someday I''m sure I''ll join the upgrade club as far as my wedding band, and wear my original on my right hand sometimes.
 
My story went something like "oh, do I like something next to my e-ring?" answer "no". I could see the "dollar signs saved" adding up the FI's eyes... Then I said, " I think I'll do that four row wide flat style pave' eternity band I've been wanting for years!" He actually warmed up to the idea pretty fast. Its the perfect "blingy" band. And I'll just wear it on the opposite hand. I'm so excited I get something thats been on my wish list for years and don't have to worry about it taking away from my e-ring.
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Also, I really wanted something eye-catching, that people would stop and stare. I love my sapphire e-ring, but since sapphires don't have that same "sparkle" as diamonds, it doesn't quite have a strong "presence" from a distance. The wide pave' bands have quite a presence, even at distance. Problem solved!
 
I can relate! When we were looking for bands, I didn''t want a plain one, and I definitely didn''t want one with a curve to it. We ended up talking to WF and Bob recommended we go with a certain style because of the way my engagement ring is designed (WF did my ering). That style happens to be curved, with tiny notches in it to allow the prongs to fit snugly against the band. It wasn''t the stlye I had hoped for but we went with it. I have to say, now that I''ve tried it on many, many times, the two do look great together. My engagement ring seems to stand out a little more (it almost seems to sit up a little higher too). If I had held out for what I really wanted, it probably would have looked too busy.

I do eventually want to get a band with more to it -- engraving details or something with diamonds, but that will be a RHR.
 
My first and most important criterium was that it was wearable 24/7. Second, I wanted it to look good with my dainty e-ring and third, I wanted a tiny bit of bling. I tried on a lot of bands... It just seems like most stores don''t have a very big selection. I finally found a 2mm half-eternity bezel band with 1-pointers. I asked the jeweller to thin it down a bit so it doesn''t look too wide with my 1.5mm e-ring, and he kept the bottom at 2mm for durability.
 
Musey,

I think you should get more than one band. I knew I wanted a wedding band that looked great with my e-ring--nothing matchy-matchy, but something more than a plain band. I also knew that I''d rarely wear my e-ring and eternity diamond band, so I wanted a plain band to wear for most days. I tend to prefer either no rings at all or my wedding bands (I''m having a 3rd wedding band made now), so I think you should figure out what you''ll like the most and consider more than one option. for you it sounds like a diamond band and a plain (or engraved) platinum band would be ideal.
 
My w-ring is 5 prong-set sapphires that are somewhere between round and oval... they were from a family ring and I kind of like that each stone is a bit different.

Sometimes I wear my w-ring but not my e-ring if I''m worried about dinging up my e-ring, but if I worry about my w-ring, I take it off, and I don''t think wearing a plain band would be ok at that point either. Meaning if I''m doing anything unsafe for my very simple w-ring, it wouldn''t be safe with a plain band either. Sometimes you just need to take off your ring, be it for gardening, housework, or car maintenance.

So get the diamond band!!!
 
since i have an issue with getting the upgrade itch, and i never want to get rid of my original wedding band which is actually used in the ceremony, we bought matching white gold bands with milgrain for the ceremony and to keep forever as our "wedding bands".

the most important thing to me with my wedding band for my ER is that it has diamonds, and that there was no gap between it and my ER. my ER has "surprise" diamonds on the underside and i went nuts looking for a curved band that didn''t have to be custom made or designer and cost me $1000 or more.

i ended up popping into a zales one day out of pure frustration and low and behold they had the perfect band for $300! it''s a curved band with alternating rbs and bags. perfect. at the ceremony ill be wearing that set on my right hand and after the ceremony with the plain band i''ll switch it to my left.

gosh this all sounds more complicated that it feels!!!
 
I used to think that I was supposed to get one w-band. but I have ended up with 2
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and will prob get one more.
I have a super dream wed band-- Diamond eternity plat antique.
and a lower key-- bev K style diamond eternity band
and I will prob look for a plain plat or white gold antiquey looking engraved band for wearing when I am not wearing any other rings---like for biking and for the gym and whatever. ( Or a 2mm Tiffany Lucida band bec it was made the year My Fi and I met)
I agree with you--that nothing says married like a plain band--and you can wear it whenever and not have to worry ab it.

I know you were not too keen on having a backup ring--- but it might be your best option? Your e-ring is sooo beautiful that you might want a diff look and to have a diamond band that mirrors the style of your e-ring..on some days .. and then on others you might just want the classic look of the plain band? And then you have the option to just wear aether band on your right hand. Options
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I love the thin band you had posted--with the engraving-- how did u like that look with your e-ring?
soo cute--- i hope u don't mind if it post it here?

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My only two criteria for picking my wedding band was that it had to have diamonds and it had to be well under $1000.
After searching through all the vendors here I couldn''t really find anything that screamed "buy me!". So I went to a b&m to look for something, and remembered why I stopped going there. lol. Seriously, it''s like once you''ve aquired your "diamond eyes" from PS, things at a maul jewelry store just never look the same. But I did get to try on a lot of rings and imagine what they would look like with nicer diamonds.

Then I stumbled upon a seven-stone band from diamonds by lauren with little six pointers for less than $500. I decided just to go with it. So I bought it without knowing how it would ever look with my e-ring. I figured if it looked awful I would just go back to the B&M and put my stone into a plain Tiffany setting for $150 so the bands would sit flush.
I got the band in the mail, and I actually love it! It looks like it was made for my ring. One of the diamonds in the band is a little too visibly included for my liking, but I figure I can replace that little 6-pointer when I get some time later on. I love my band. I may change my e-ring setting anyway though since the basket is rubbing against the prongs of my w-band. But besides that, I think it''s a winner! And for cheap!
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hehe I was just about to say that I''d prefer a swing band over just a plain pop band. Ah now I get it''s the ring! I originally wanted the lucida diamond band as my wedding ring but D preferred the plain band plus I''m a vet student so when I''m qualified I couldn''t wear my wedding ring to work if it had diamonds in it. D then said that he''d buy me the diamond one when I graduated college so I''m getting the plain one for our wedding and the diamond one as a gift.
 
musey i too have always loved the look of a plain band but it did not look good with my ering. the beadset eternity did look good but again like you i wanted something that wasn't something that i would worry about. i also didn't want to get more than one band and want my wband to be THE one that doesn't get upgraded, maybe i get some extra bands in the future but wanted the wband from our wedding day to be one that i would wear most of the time.

i found that milgrain plain band fits the bill! the milgrain gives the plain band a little something and it matches the milgrain in my ering. i am probably going to get a 2.5mm one but the 2mm was also really lovely - so feminine - but got swallowed up by my ering.

tiffany carries only whole widths -eg 2,3,4,etc - and cartier carries whole and half widths - eg 2, 2.5, 3, 3.5, etc. you may want to try them out if you haven't already. i was going to get one from signed pieces cause it is an amazing price but after seeing some pics of the signed pieces milgrain rings, i think i prefer the look of the cartier so far.
 
My FI actually wants me to have a large diamond channel-set wedding band...not that I''m complaining! I think he wants the "I''m Married!" statement when someone meets me
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But, I am also getting a very small, plain gold band as for times when I don''t feel like being blinged out!

I''m not averse to two bands...It is the statement of the ring, not the ring itself, that is important to me.
 
musey, I had the same issues when shopping for a wband. I wanted to go with a plain plat band but they didn''t look good with my ering and the only one barely passable was a 2mm and that looked too thin alone on my finger. The 3mm looked great alone but again, horrible with my ering. I ended up going for an antique deco diamond eternity wband - that is what I was married with, and I wear that ring with my ering as my wedding set. I got a plain 3mm plat Tiffany band for Xmas and I wear that either alone or with my diamond band when I dont want to wear the ering. It works out great. If you''re feeling like getting an extra, plain band might not feel "real", why not simply get married with both a plain and diamond band at the same time? That way you''ve had both bands as part of the ceremony, and you can wear the plain one when you dont want to wear the ering, and/or with the diamond band?
 
Well...still not a BIW but I already have my plan for w-rings thanks to pricescope.
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My e-ring will be a north-south set oval lighter blue Sapphire in 14kt white gold about 2-2.5 mm.
My *forever* w-ring will be a 14kt white gold plain band 2mm.
My bling/detailed w-band will be Carved curls band with sapphire basicallyElsie''s RHR only with a smaller stone.

Then I''ll mix and match and wear only the plain band when I''m doing something that could damage the other ones.

I think that engraved band is gorgeous BTW.
 
I went backwards.

I really wanted a shared prong eternity band as my wband. I just LOVE the look of the simple solitaire with the eternity on either side, so I might (
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) have influenced FI''s selection of my Ering just a bit!

I am lucky enough to have a FI who likes the eternity on both sides too, I should be getting them next week!
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Hmm, I haven''t been thinking about as long as you have, but I am confused as well. I have to consider my e-ring because of the surprise diamonds on each side. They kind of stick out a tiny bit, so a wedding band won''t just sit up against it. So, I am going back and forth between plain band or two blingish bands on each side. I think FI likes both and he actually likes the idea of them on both sides. Sooo I feel your pain as much as I can at this stage. So our main things weighing in are: how it looks with my e-ring and of course price. I don''t want to spend over about $3,000. If I don''t have to spend that, then yaaay! My mom has a pretty ring i might just get sized and use.
 
Thanks for sharing your stories, ladies--it''s so helpful to hear how others reached their decisions.
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Date: 2/24/2008 11:32:45 AM
Author: blinkydoll

I love the thin band you had posted--with the engraving-- how did u like that look with your e-ring?
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I just found the band online, so I've never seen it with my engagement ring. I also haven't run across anything like it (yet) in person.

I'm starting to think, though, that something like that--with a tiny millegrain edge added to it--might be perfect. It adds a bit of visual interest, but is still very much a 24/7 type of band.

The company's based in Seattle, so next time I'm there I'll go check out their stuff and ask about custom work
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musey, i tried the engravad rings too but it didn''t look right with my ering. if there is a tiffany close by to you, you can try the plain with milgrain as it will give you a bit of an idea of how things look with milgrain and maybe help you to picture what the wband that you posted might look like - best is to go to cartier tho cause they have all of the widths for plain milgrain bands.

good luck!
 
vs. the Tiffany style of milgrain:
 

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ah yes, i see what you are saying. i agree that the milgrain in your graduation pic is better. i don''t remember the milgrain tho on the tiffany that i tried to be look like what you posted but i will take a closer at the cartier to make sure it doesn''t look like the tiffany that you posted.
 
Date: 2/25/2008 3:09:05 AM
Author: ringster
ah yes, i see what you are saying. i agree that the milgrain in your graduation pic is better. i don''t remember the milgrain tho on the tiffany that i tried to be look like what you posted but i will take a closer at the cartier to make sure it doesn''t look like the tiffany that you posted.
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The 2 and 3mm milgrain bands I tried on at tiffany definitely had that thick style, and that pic is from the tiffany website.

Regardless, after trying on plain milgrain bands last fall I know that I don''t want that, so it doesn''t really matter.
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