fisherofmengirly
Ideal_Rock
- Joined
- Apr 14, 2006
- Messages
- 3,929
Hey guys, I have a question, or not really a question. More like I would like some feedback.
As most of you know, we've been trying to have a baby for a long while now, and we have begun to dabble into thoughts of adoption. My husband and I are both professionals, but are definitely *not* in our professions for the income. We have our own home & our only debt is our mortgage. We save pretty well and I am a very frugal person. We've been saving for the baby for 4 years. I'm proud of this, as it is one of the only ways I'm able to express my maternal instinct to nurture & care for the child we love but don't yet have.
Okay, we just celebrated our 5th anniversary this past week. From the time we married, we said we would get me a bling for celebration & memory of the milestone. We have set aside a moderate amount for this, and all along it had been set aside for this purpose. And when I say moderate, by PS standards, it is *extremely* moderate.
But I don't have fancy tastes and I'm sure we can find something lovely with this amount.
Here's my confliction: I keep thinking how this extra 1k could go towards the baby, towards adoption, towards our family growing. I feel like I'm putting my wants before my baby's needs. We have saved a LOT more than the ring fund for our baby, and Paul says it's silly for me to feel like we can't get a ring right now, because we have planned for our family. If we do end up going the route of adoption, I'm going to make quilts and sell them to help with the cost involved, as we would like some of what we've saved to be in an account for the baby.
So, am I being ridiculous to think that it's frivilous for me to get a ring right now? Is it *normal* for a mom-to-be (to-be) to feel bad about getting anything nice for an important landmark in their marriage? Would you find it odd for someone to get a ring and then months later, have them asking if anyone would like to order a quilt to assist with funding an adoption?
I think this confliction is part of why more than a month of looking hasn't resulted in finding the exact right ring.
This is a stupid *conflict* to have. Argh.
As most of you know, we've been trying to have a baby for a long while now, and we have begun to dabble into thoughts of adoption. My husband and I are both professionals, but are definitely *not* in our professions for the income. We have our own home & our only debt is our mortgage. We save pretty well and I am a very frugal person. We've been saving for the baby for 4 years. I'm proud of this, as it is one of the only ways I'm able to express my maternal instinct to nurture & care for the child we love but don't yet have.
Okay, we just celebrated our 5th anniversary this past week. From the time we married, we said we would get me a bling for celebration & memory of the milestone. We have set aside a moderate amount for this, and all along it had been set aside for this purpose. And when I say moderate, by PS standards, it is *extremely* moderate.
Here's my confliction: I keep thinking how this extra 1k could go towards the baby, towards adoption, towards our family growing. I feel like I'm putting my wants before my baby's needs. We have saved a LOT more than the ring fund for our baby, and Paul says it's silly for me to feel like we can't get a ring right now, because we have planned for our family. If we do end up going the route of adoption, I'm going to make quilts and sell them to help with the cost involved, as we would like some of what we've saved to be in an account for the baby.
So, am I being ridiculous to think that it's frivilous for me to get a ring right now? Is it *normal* for a mom-to-be (to-be) to feel bad about getting anything nice for an important landmark in their marriage? Would you find it odd for someone to get a ring and then months later, have them asking if anyone would like to order a quilt to assist with funding an adoption?
I think this confliction is part of why more than a month of looking hasn't resulted in finding the exact right ring.
This is a stupid *conflict* to have. Argh.