Coping Mechanisms

[seaurchin]

One coping mechanism I have is really weird but it is to imagine whoever is driving me crazy as if they were a cat. Cats are so adorable when they're mean, greedy, lazy, sneaky, all puffed up like they're big and bad or whatever. So this makes me almost feel a soft spot for whoever I want to slap at the moment. It's like suddenly, whatever they're trying to pull is adorable. Try it; it works! Well, sometimes at least.

I think it is effective because it rings true. When you step back from someone's annoying behavior itself, isn't there usually a basic desire or defense behind it, like any animal would have? Identifying it is kind of hilarious.

With the state of the world kind of things, I try to just turn it off, whether it's on TV or the internet.

Another coping mechanism I have is just retreating. I used to feel like I had to put up with people even when I didn't like the way they treated me, because they were family or in the same social group or whatever. But somewhere along the line I just quit with them. Or maybe that is another way of "turning it off" like negative news reports.

I'm sure I have more but that's all I can think of right now.

How do you cope?

 

[dk168]

Ignore, block and delete.

I have an imaginary Siberia/ice bucket for people I do not like, and I would put them in that bucket, frozen for good, so that they are out of my way.

Once a person is put into that bucket, he/she seldom comes back out again.

I am good at compartmentalising, e.g. to put the bad/sad memories into a bucket that is seldom visited unless it is trigger opens it.

I seldom look back, and I live by the saying that: I can't change the past, I can influence the future, and I live in the present as it comes to enjoy each day as if it is my last.

DK

 

[missy]

I remember the wise words you cannot control others but you can control your reaction.
And it works every single time.
I am only hurting myself when I let others ill behaved actions get to me. So I don’t let it get to me. I also remember there’s a reason they are acting this way and I give them some grace. Even if they don’t deserve it. Because ultimately doing this helps me.

 

[missy]

One coping mechanism I have is really weird but it is to imagine whoever is driving me crazy as if they were a cat. Cats are so adorable when they're mean, greedy, lazy, sneaky, all puffed up like they're big and bad or whatever. So this makes me almost feel a soft spot for whoever I want to slap at the moment. It's like suddenly, whatever they're trying to pull is adorable. Try it; it works! Well, sometimes at least.

I think it is effective because it rings true. When you step back from someone's annoying behavior itself, isn't there usually a basic desire or defense behind it, like any animal would have? Identifying it is kind of hilarious.

With the state of the world kind of things, I try to just turn it off, whether it's on TV or the internet.

Another coping mechanism I have is just retreating. I used to feel like I had to put up with people even when I didn't like the way they treated me, because they were family or in the same social group or whatever. But somewhere along the line I just quit with them. Or maybe that is another way of "turning it off" like negative news reports.

I'm sure I have more but that's all I can think of right now.

How do you cope?

Haha yes i can see how this helps you. And it’s the only reason we haven’t thrown Oliver out on his kitty arse lol. He’s too adorable. Even when his behavior is less than sweet

Meowwwww



That face. Sigh how can we stay mad

 

[missy]

Oh and one major coping mechanism I have. I do not watch the news. No thank you. This absolutely works in helping me stay sane

 

[YadaYadaYada]

I like to pop my earbuds in and listen to upbeat music when I’m really stressed out. Also naps are amazing if you can squeeze one in, even 20 minutes makes a world of difference. Almost like hitting the reset button in your brain.

I’ve been trying to only worry about something when it is an actual problem, so I’ll say to myself “I’m not going to worry about this until it’s in front of me.” For example we just got our property tax assessment and it went up 40%, well it’s not something I have to deal with right now, so I’m not going to worry about it.

Unfortunately one of my more unhealthy coping mechanisms is picking at my fingers. It used to be all of them and now it’s just my thumbs, still it is so comforting in times of stress but obviously not a good habit or way to cope with anything.

 

[lala646]

I like to pop my earbuds in and listen to upbeat music when I’m really stressed out. Also naps are amazing if you can squeeze one in, even 20 minutes makes a world of difference. Almost like hitting the reset button in your brain.

I’ve been trying to only worry about something when it is an actual problem, so I’ll say to myself “I’m not going to worry about this until it’s in front of me.” For example we just got our property tax assessment and it went up 40%, well it’s not something I have to deal with right now, so I’m not going to worry about it.

Unfortunately one of my more unhealthy coping mechanisms is picking at my fingers. It used to be all of them and now it’s just my thumbs, still it is so comforting in times of stress but obviously not a good habit or way to cope with anything.

As we say around my office, "That's a problem for future-me, not today-me."

 

[MamaBee]

Haha yes i can see how this helps you. And it’s the only reason we haven’t thrown Oliver out on his kitty arse lol. He’s too adorable. Even when his behavior is less than sweet

Meowwwww



That face. Sigh how can we stay mad

He is adorable! I know he’s a little trouble maker though! Hahaha

 

[YadaYadaYada]

I love that @lala646!

 

[seaurchin]

Haha yes i can see how this helps you. And it’s the only reason we haven’t thrown Oliver out on his kitty arse lol. He’s too adorable. Even when his behavior is less than sweet

Meowwwww



That face. Sigh how can we stay mad

Oliver dint do nuffin wrong!

 

[kenny]

For me singing and playing guitar or piano is a great refuge.

 

[MamaBee]

I actually come here on PS..and look at photos of everyone‘s bling. Chaos can be happening around me..but I’m zoned into diamonds..Weird..but true!
I also compartmentalize all the worries...or things I have to accomplish..Otherwise it becomes overwhelming. It works for me.

 

[smitcompton]

Hi,

I have invented a whole other fantasy life. I have a wonderful family and a romance with my imaginary husband which exceeds all my expectations. I'm so happy there. It puts me to sleep with ease.

I also make jokes to myself, You see I talk to myself.(out loud),
At three o'clock, I say, 'excuse me, I have a meeting to go to." I then turn on the TV and join Nicolle Wallace, and the brilliant lawyers , who also attend the meetings where WE discuss and interpret the political events of the day. I do point out when I agree with them and make myself heard when I do not agree with them. I do so enjoy these meetings. I'm happy they include me.

The real world does not let me rest though. So, each morning I tackle the real life stuff, so that the rest of my day can be spent in reverie and peace.

Annette

 

[Phoenix]

Mediation/mind-body-wellness, tapping, listening to music, playing with my cats, exercising (when I can), looking at bling, looking at nice things on IG, interacting (online as well as in person, the latter preferred) with friends and family.

Avoiding reading the news too, @missy .

 

[GliderPoss]

I have a mix of some healthy and unhealthy ones... I LOVE bushwalking so getting out into nature and trying to relax, focus just on the immediate surroundings is very peaceful. Lately I've been running at the gym to upbeat music. Less healthy ones have definitely included drinking too much wine and vaping.

 

[RunningwithScissors]

These are all really good ones!

I love walking. I take a long walk at night right before going to bed. It levels me mentally and makes me sleep so much better. It also warms up my muscles/body so that I'm not a rotisserie chicken during the night, turning around and around because of body aches.

 

[lulu_ma]

Oh you all are so much more well adjusted than me! For me it's all about Diamonds, Dance Music (and occasionally dancing in my kitchen) Desserts-oh and ever so often Dailymail-but only for the celebrity gossip

ETA: and my Dog-can't forget her!

 

[MamaBee]

Oh you all are so much more well adjusted than me! For me it's all about Diamonds, Dance Music (and occasionally dancing in my kitchen) Desserts-oh and ever so often Dailymail-but only for the celebrity gossip

ETA: and my Dog-can't forget her!

@lulu_ma I have stared into your beautiful diamonds many times! I’m mesmerized by the facets!

 

[lulu_ma]

@lulu_ma I have stared into your beautiful diamonds many times! I’m mesmerized by the facets!

I can say the same for your beautiful diamonds @MamaBee !

 

[MamaBee]

I can say the same for your beautiful diamonds @MamaBee !

Thank you @lulu_ma!

 

[Begonia]

Hmmm.
Reading, walking, exercising, hot baths, tea breaks, authentic talks, meditating, praying, venting, puttering with my houseplants, annnnnnnd daydreaming about jewelry. A lotta of the last one

 

[Alybird]

What a healthy, therapeutic & encouraging thread.

I used to be high strung but these days, I make a conscious effort to live in the moment and keep everything in perspective. Living in the moment helps to put a limit on anxiety, whether its mine or someone else's. When someone treats me less than well, I go straight to having compassion for them because people at peace generally don't lash out at others. As far as drama goes, I choose to disengage and distance.

Things don't always go perfectly but the aim is to assess what is actually worthy of attention and energy and what is annoying but can be let go and brushed off. I think I had to learn to be good at letting things go because otherwise, I'd never achieve my personal and career goals if my time was spent focusing on things that were never really in my control.

One thing I'm working on is to stop complaining so much because sometimes that magnifies and validates issues vs diminishing them.

 

[Bron357]

I like to clean my jewellery and loving on my pieces and feeling grateful that they are mine.
Watering the garden is another stress reliever for me.
I also practice kindness and generosity every day in any way I can. I walk the dogs daily and make a point of smiling at everyone I pass. I always have time for a chat with anyone who starts one. You never know if a simple smile or a few words might help change their day. It might be letting someone go ahead of me in a queue because they look stressed out. It might be helping someone reach or pick something up. I always always acknowledge and thank people who serve me, again, working with people is hard and relentless.
It’s weird, but I obviously give off “nice person vibes” because it’s always me who is asked directions or questions. Asked all sorts of things. Even in a shop I might be asked. One time I explained to the lady that I didn’t work there, she was so disappointed because I was much more friendly and helpful than the sales people.

 

[Piper70]

I like to clean my jewellery and loving on my pieces and feeling grateful that they are mine.
Watering the garden is another stress reliever for me.
I also practice kindness and generosity every day in any way I can. I walk the dogs daily and make a point of smiling at everyone I pass. I always have time for a chat with anyone who starts one. You never know if a simple smile or a few words might help change their day. It might be letting someone go ahead of me in a queue because they look stressed out. It might be helping someone reach or pick something up. I always always acknowledge and thank people who serve me, again, working with people is hard and relentless.
It’s weird, but I obviously give off “nice person vibes” because it’s always me who is asked directions or questions. Asked all sorts of things. Even in a shop I might be asked. One time I explained to the lady that I didn’t work there, she was so disappointed because I was much more friendly and helpful than the sales people.

I am in introvert with moderate anxiety so I wish I had Resting Bitch Face. Instead, I clearly have “Tell me your life story” face.
Re- the future me problems. I heard a good suggestion for those who have trouble sleeping because their mind races with things to do. Tell yourself that you trust Tomorrow Me to deal with it.

 

[Alybird]

I am in introvert with moderate anxiety so I wish I had Resting Bitch Face. Instead, I clearly have “Tell me your life story” face.
Re- the future me problems. I heard a good suggestion for those who have trouble sleeping because their mind races with things to do. Tell yourself that you trust Tomorrow Me to deal with it.

Omg, I know the feels! I've been trying to work on projecting 'cold' and 'aloof' when it is necessary lol.

I realize those are qualities that people are like, "Who would strive to embody these traits??"

But for people I know who give off kind and nice vibes, myself included, it does greatly contribute to overall anxiety when others try to tap into you emotionally (and most people don't even realize that they're doing it).

In a business sense, cold and aloof can be a good thing. Maintain a sense of humanity but also a sense of professional detachment like how lawyers operate. This is something that I've been working on.