Cynical Nasty Thread

[Independent Gal]

Well, I''m in a cynical nasty mood this week, so I thought I''d start a cynical nasty thread.

Who do you hope can''t make it to your wedding and why? Give the person an apt and colourful pseudonym if you like.

 

[Independent Gal]

Awww, c''mon! Someone other than me has got to be feeling grumpy!

 

[Stephanie]

I'll jon you! I am dreading asking FI's parents about this one:

FI's Crazy cousin with aggresive ADHD child that is not disciplined and is rarely able to sit still for five seconds let alone through out an entire ceremony. Also, he can't stand to not be the center of attention - so he acts out and starts destroying things or even is violent with people (we have left his family's house with bruises from this child hitting).

To be fair, on my side - I don't want Alcoholic Aunt trying to hump people on the dance floor.

 

[FrekeChild]

I''ll bite even though I''m just a LIW...I''m bored and I''ve thought about this a lot.

Both of my brothers and their families. One brother I really like, but everyone in my family hates his wife, and the other brother is a total d*ckhead, but his wife is really sweet. And combined they will have 7 kids that they''d have to tote along with them 3 of which I''ve never met (a two year old, a 1 year old-and one that is on the way).

My problem is that BOTH of them would expect my dad to pay their way out here (One is in LA and the other is in MS), the evil SIL would expect all of her kids to be in the wedding (she''s pushed her friends into having all of them in their weddings before-NOT JOKING), and they''d be the bane of my existence and something huge that I''d stress out about.

I''m just hoping that when it comes time for me to start putting together a guest list-my dad doesn''t decide that they have to be there. Because then my mom will have to lay down the law that she doesn''t want to have an extra 3 grand to put towards their flights and accommodations for 11 people.

Did I mention that I like my nice SIL, my nice brother, and the kids? It''s just the evil brother and evil SIL I wouldn''t want there, but they ruin it for everyone else.

 

[cdt1101]

hehe indie...no i don''t have anyone I''d rather not come to our wedding. I do however, hope that our mother''s can behave themselves. It''s interesting we BOTH have mothers that are often self-absorbed. I just hope they understand that the day isn''t about them, but about their son/daughter. We''ll see.....

and i also hope for no RAIN...outdoor/tented wedding....

 

[Independent Gal]

Freke Can they maybe switch wives? Just an idea...

 

[Neveah]

Okay, me too!

FI''s paranoid schitzophrenic alcoholic drug addict brother who is *supposed* to be a GM in our wedding. (you may remember my thread on this topic a few weeks ago????)

The mental illness part is not what makes me not want him there. (I''m really not a heartless person!) It''s the drinking. He''s obnoxious, embarassing, confrontational... the list goes on and on. I feel soooo incredible uncomfortable in his presence. (It''s the constant drinking, NOT the disease that makes him horrible)

I can be honest on this site, and I honestly hope he can''t make it. (GOD that''s so, FREEING to be able to say (type) aloud!)

 

[Pandora II]

Okay - here goes:

FI''s father''s wife - she is currently sectioned for the next 6 months, and we are hoping it gets extended until August so she can''t make it. I really don''t know how FFIL could have married her, she is the most horrible, vulgar woman I know and FI and his brothers all hate her with a vengeance.

Her son - who I currently refuse to invite.

H & S, two of our friends:

S was married to M who is FI''s bestman.
M ran off with A who is one of my BFF.
H was one of M''s best friends and was dating S''s sister.
H is now dating S.
Anyone followed that??? Yup, all very incestuous...

Most of our other friends are friends with H & S and don''t forgive M for running off with A - and also feel they shouldn''t talk to A. M is giving the best man''s speech (a good 20 minutes long in the UK) and S is likely to throw a hissy fit and go storming out.

To be honest, life would be simpler if they weren''t there - to say nothing of the fact that we are all staying in the same small hotel. Aaaaaarrrrrrgh!

My ghastly aunt, uncle and their offspring - they have already confirmed they are coming. Youngest son only has one topic of conversation: how much he earns. Luckily a husband of one of our friends is the same - so they will be sitting next to each other at the reception...

 

[Neveah]

Date: 1/18/2008 1:58:59 PM
Author: Pandora II
Okay - here goes:

FI''s father''s wife - she is currently sectioned for the next 6 months, and we are hoping it gets extended until August so she can''t make it. I really don''t know how FFIL could have married her, she is the most horrible, vulgar woman I know and FI and his brothers all hate her with a vengeance.

Her son - who I currently refuse to invite.

H & S, two of our friends:

S was married to M who is FI''s bestman.
M ran off with A who is one of my BFF.
H was one of M''s best friends and was dating S''s sister.
H is now dating S.
Anyone followed that??? Yup, all very incestuous...

Most of our other friends are friends with H & S and don''t forgive M for running off with A - and also feel they shouldn''t talk to A. M is giving the best man''s speech (a good 20 minutes long in the UK) and S is likely to throw a hissy fit and go storming out.

To be honest, life would be simpler if they weren''t there - to say nothing of the fact that we are all staying in the same small hotel. Aaaaaarrrrrrgh!

My ghastly aunt, uncle and their offspring - they have already confirmed they are coming. Youngest son only has one topic of conversation: how much he earns. Luckily a husband of one of our friends is the same - so they will be sitting next to each other at the reception...

Ummm...................... maybe this is a dumb question.... but what does "sectioned" mean? Or actually where is someone who is sectioned?

 

[partyjewels]

Theres a handful of them! Our wedding guest list got way too big because we both have large families, and we both feel pressured to invite all those older relatives that we haven''t seen in ages. Money isn''t the issue, it''s that I don''t like being the center of attention! The more people there the more nervous I am

So although there are a few, the only one that pops into my head right away is one of my dads brothers. Without getting into details, the last family wedding I saw him, he drank too much, made a fool of himself to anyone around him that saw, and made those around him VERY uncomfortable. I felt so bad for my Dad! Unfortunately it''s very likely he WILL come, so I''m just hoping my aunt will be able to accompany him and maybe he''ll behave better?

 

[Independent Gal]

oops.

 

[Gypsy]

Well. There is this person that I absolutely HAVE to invite (unless I get a new job between now and then, pray for me).

But, she is the most self absorbed, selfish, loud, person, classless, vulgar person. You can't tell her anything without her one upping you. Everything is about her. Always. She has no consideration for other's feelings. Thinks that caring for family members is a waste of time unless you are inheriting money from them, basically, if there is nothing in it for her, she's not interested. Plus she talks, and talks, and talks.

She asked me yesterday about the wedding planning. I told her I had two venues I was considering. Wente, Scotts in Walnut Creek, and the other one off highway 24 (which is 45 minutes from her house). And she said that I shouldn't consider the 24 one because it's VERY inconvenient for my guests. Honestly, it's MORE convenient for anyone who is flying in, has a great hotel nearby, and is only 30 minutes from my parent's house. It's just not convenient for her. So she gave me this whole thing about how brides are inconsiderate of their guests, and how she couldn't possibly attend a wedding 'so far away.'

Makes me what to book it TODAY.

 

[ang3199]

Oh I LOVE this thread.

FI''s psycho sister. And I do not use psycho lightly. She has been 302''ed numerous times. Is Borderline PD. When FI was younger (and actually this Christmas too) had to body slam her into the couch and hold her down while she thrashed around and spit and cursed and told her mother that she slept with her husband. Gross yes.

She is addicted to all sorts of pills and alcohol. Sleeps with men so they pay her bills. Has threatened to kill me and often tells me my boobs are too small and I''m fat. Tried to touch me in inappropriate places. Her mother and father (divorced) make excuses for her but continue to supply her with alcohol and her mother even believes that sleeping with men so they pay your bills is appropriate.

I have really been stressed out over this, but we have to invite her. And honestly, I''m afraid of her. My reception is very near the state police barracks...so I will call.

Ugh. Now I''m stressed again. I really don''t want this woman to ruin my very special day.

Needless to say, FI and I keep our distance and see them only at Christmas (and weddings

).

 

[Mrs Mitchell]

Date: 1/18/2008 2:02:46 PM
Author: Neveah

Date: 1/18/2008 1:58:59 PM
Author: Pandora II
Okay - here goes:

FI''s father''s wife - she is currently sectioned for the next 6 months, and we are hoping it gets extended until August so she can''t make it. I really don''t know how FFIL could have married her, she is the most horrible, vulgar woman I know and FI and his brothers all hate her with a vengeance.

Her son - who I currently refuse to invite.

H & S, two of our friends:

S was married to M who is FI''s bestman.
M ran off with A who is one of my BFF.
H was one of M''s best friends and was dating S''s sister.
H is now dating S.
Anyone followed that??? Yup, all very incestuous...

Most of our other friends are friends with H & S and don''t forgive M for running off with A - and also feel they shouldn''t talk to A. M is giving the best man''s speech (a good 20 minutes long in the UK) and S is likely to throw a hissy fit and go storming out.

To be honest, life would be simpler if they weren''t there - to say nothing of the fact that we are all staying in the same small hotel. Aaaaaarrrrrrgh!

My ghastly aunt, uncle and their offspring - they have already confirmed they are coming. Youngest son only has one topic of conversation: how much he earns. Luckily a husband of one of our friends is the same - so they will be sitting next to each other at the reception...

Ummm...................... maybe this is a dumb question.... but what does ''sectioned'' mean? Or actually where is someone who is sectioned?

It means detention or compulsory treatment under a specific section of the UK Mental Health Act. Generally, that person is likely to be in secure psychiatric care. Generally has to be quite a severe illness / risk to be grounds for sectioning, which is a fairly serious restriction of liberty. Could be a problem for a wedding guest...

 

[Aloros]

FFIL's wife. I can't say "FI's stepmom" because they got married only just last year. Wife #5 for FFIL. She ran off with another guy after they got engaged, but then came back and they got married soon after.

I am the sort of person who gets along with everyone, but there is something about this woman that seriously makes my skin crawl. I can barely stand to be in the same room as her. She also never...stops...talking! And then she laughs at the stuff she says (utterly vacuous) while I sit there, completely silent, with this sort of look on my face:

. I feel like a cornered cat.

I just hope I don't have to interact with her much...ever.

FFIL can be a little "iffy" at times as well (he has a bad temper and talks crap about people behind their backs, even his own grandson - this bothers me to no end), but I can deal with him just fine.

And perhaps I am blinded by love, but I ADORE all of my family, as well as all of our friends. I will disappointed when, inevitably, some of them won't be able to make it. They are the best people I could ever hope to be surrounded by.

Who knows? Maybe FFIL and her will be divorced by the time the wedding rolls around, as wicked as I feel for giving that thought life.

ETA: OH MY GOD, Pandora. That tangled web beats anything else I've ever witnessed, much less heard of. I wish you the best of luck with that, and hope it doesn't cause too much drama on your wedding day.

 

[isaku5]

Thanks for the explanation of "sectioned". I''d never heard the word used that way before. Now, I need one more explanation please: What does "302''ed" mean? Thanks for your help.

 

[enbcfsobe]

Pretty sure 302'd refers to something similar to "sectioned" -- being involuntarily committed because you are a danger to yourself or others.

I might take the cake with the oddest. I hope that my cousins who live overseas don't come even though they are by far my favorite cousins. My first cousin and her husband and 4 kids live in Israel, and I love them dearly. But they only come to the states every other year, and it is not usually the whole family that comes -- just one parent and one or two of the kids. If they come for my wedding, I will barely get to see them, and it is likely they won't come back for at least another year and a half. My mom is pressing them to come, at least some of them, but as much as I'd love to have them there for my wedding, I'd love it more to be able to hang out with them and actually have some quality time. Is this crazy??

Everyone in my family (except my grandma) hopes my mom's brother doesn't come. While he doesn't have the drama of being an addict or loopy (as far as we know), he is a world of suck as far as uncles go. No one else (except grandma, his mom) likes him and he makes my mom CRAAAAZY. She tried to convince me not to invite him but I thought that was extreme. It's not like he will be extremely disruptive, but he and his wife and kids (they are both college-age, so at least no more temper tantrums with them) are just not fun, stressful, and mildly inappropriate. I still really hope they don't come. Or that he comes without his wife and kids.

Other than that, while there's some folks I'd rather not have to invite, it isn't because I dislike them, just because I think we have a bigger wedding than I wanted to begin with and they are rather attenuated relationships (family friends, etc) that I am only consenting to invite because mom is insisting I reciprocate their invitations.

PS -- Isabel, I LOVE the stone in your avatar. Do you have a thread about it? It is gorgeous and the spakle effect is hot.

 

[scm1012]

FI''s mom''s extended family on her dad''s side. Phew that was long! They''re all very nice, fun people...but I(including FI) barely know them!!!!!!

Basically it''s FI''s grandad''s family which include his old siblings(there were 8 kids) plus all their grown kids...everyone is over 50.

FI''s grandparents get together with these people regularly but FMIL sees them *maybe* twice a year, FI sees them once a year at a Christmas Family Reunion and I have met them once in the 5 years we have been together.

I just feel like, why should we invite at minimum 25 people we hardly know? The gesture would be so obligatory since we would basically be inviting them to ''save face''. The only faces I want to see at my wedding are of the people I know and love and have had more than one conversation with.

I haven''t mentioned this to anyone but I feel like it''s going to be an issue and drama. I just would rather focus on people that FI and I actually know and communicate with regularly. FMIL''s extended family are the types who host a destination family reunion with a ton of people every 5 years and the only thing they have in common is their DNA. Honestly, I don''t consider that close family.

Okay as for my side.....

my 15-year-old bratty cousin. He is totally obnoxious, loud and so freaking moody. We can get along for about an hour before he completely loses it with me and we battle it out. He is at the naturally rebellious stage but he has no respect for authority. His dad has basically given up on him so when I try to establish boundaries, we totally clash.

 

[scm1012]

I forgot that there is more.

One of FI''s best friends. He is really great...but he gets so loud, obnoxious and rude when he drinks. He starts discussing taboo topics very loudly. Topics that most people are very passionate about: politics, education, etc. UGH.

One of our couple friends. The guy is totally great...easy to get along with, funny, nice. His fiance is the worst. She''s not rude or anything, just ice cold, not very polite, totally impassive about everything and not easy on my eyes. She has a staring problem and I honestly just do not like her. We have spent time together and I have learned that we have zero in common plus I am pretty much done with trying to be cordial. Now i just smile and avoid this girl at all costs. Do not want at my wedding.

 

[ang3199]

Date: 1/18/2008 3:06:54 PM
Author: enbcfsobe
Pretty sure 302''d refers to something similar to ''sectioned'' -- being involuntarily committed because you are a danger to yourself or others.

Yep, that''s it. Sorry! She tried to OD on pills and FI had to stick his finger down her throat to make her puke them up. Then she jumped out of the moving car on the way to the psych ward. Yikes!

 

[mimzy]

I think i am pretty lucky i terms of unwanted guests! There isn't anyone on the list that i am chanting "please say no please say no please say no" in my head.

FI has a huge family on both his mom and dads side, but they never see them and there is some bad blood between FI's parents and all of them. FI wants to invite them because he wants to build some bridges, and i totally agree and respect that, but it's almost 40 people! only 3 of which I have ever met! So....we're are sort of crossing our fingers that they choose not to come. they will have to cross the border to attend, which isn't a big deal, a slightly added inconvience.... so that also might keep them at home (we're in MI and they are in canada).

other than that, I really sort of hope that some of my dad's friends stay at home, not because i don't like them, but just to help out on the food/drink cost


does it mean that i'm a horrible person if my main motivation for wanting people to stay home is that we won't have to pay for them then?

 

[marvel]

Great thread! Just thought I''d add my cynical nasty two cents:

 

[tberube]

Oh, I've got one. The Red-Neck Out-Of-Towner family members of FI. I've never met most of them and I think I'm glad - I'm a tad afraid that they'll lower the overall "class level" of my wedding by a factor of seven. Eeek.

Then there's FI's four siblings - The Xenophobic Hermit brother, the Useless Coke Addict brother, the forever Pregnant with Ex-Con Daddy sister, and the Virgin brother. Seriously - I sometimes wonder how FI got to be such a normal, good natured and well-adjusted individual. Maybe it's just cause he's the oldest.

Also - the Long-Lost-Friend of mine from across the country, whom I can't NOT invite, and who is forever broke and may end up asking to stay at our place the night before the wedding, depending on when he arrives. Ugh. FI would NOT be into that.

 

[HollyS]

Date: 1/18/2008 1:58:59 PM
Author: Pandora II
Okay - here goes:

FI''s father''s wife - she is currently sectioned for the next 6 months, and we are hoping it gets extended until August so she can''t make it. I really don''t know how FFIL could have married her, she is the most horrible, vulgar woman I know and FI and his brothers all hate her with a vengeance.

Her son - who I currently refuse to invite.

H & S, two of our friends:

S was married to M who is FI''s bestman.
M ran off with A who is one of my BFF.
H was one of M''s best friends and was dating S''s sister.
H is now dating S.
Anyone followed that??? Yup, all very incestuous...

Most of our other friends are friends with H & S and don''t forgive M for running off with A - and also feel they shouldn''t talk to A. M is giving the best man''s speech (a good 20 minutes long in the UK) and S is likely to throw a hissy fit and go storming out.

To be honest, life would be simpler if they weren''t there - to say nothing of the fact that we are all staying in the same small hotel. Aaaaaarrrrrrgh!

My ghastly aunt, uncle and their offspring - they have already confirmed they are coming. Youngest son only has one topic of conversation: how much he earns. Luckily a husband of one of our friends is the same - so they will be sitting next to each other at the reception...

Hahahahahahahaha!!!! Can I come just to watch??

Maybe you need to be the one having your wedding televised; it promises to be very entertaining!

 

[basil]

All of my fiance''s family!

He doesn''t like his family very much and I don''t either, though I''m only ever met his parents and siblings. There''s nothing all that much wrong with them, but they are kind of prying and annoying. I like my family a lot and I have no particular desire for more family, so I''d probably be just as satisfied if they all stayed home and sent their checks in the mail.

[how''s that for cynical and nasty?

]

 

[Pandora II]

Don't Holly! Nightmare or what!

For those who have asked:

Sectioned - means being forcibly detained under the Mental Health Act in a secure psychiatric unit - and forced treatment if you don't comply.

Basically the police had to come and remove her on Christmas Eve - she had been in hospital the night before, but there was no on-duty psychiatrist and no bed in the psychiatric unit, so she was put in a general ward and... absconded the next day and walked home to everyone's horror.

It took 12 hours to get the police to come and take her away which was horrible for her daughters who were trying to deal with her. She sent her 24 year old daughter out to buy potatoes with $200 and went nuts because she didn't spend the whole $200 and she wouldn't have enough potatoes for lunch (daughter had 'only' bought 20 pounds of potatoes for 5 people for lunch - she knew her mum would go crazy, but she couldn't carrying more than 20 pounds

)

Initially you are held for 28 days - she has just had it extended to 6 months.

She is rather aggressive and violent and totally psychotic. The police had been called a number of times and she was calling them to say people were following her.

No-one knows exactly what is wrong - it doesn't really fit with mania or with schizophrenia. FI's dad is one of the most senior doctors in the hospital, so she's getting good care - but isn't reponding to any of the drugs.

Last week she was convinced we'd all hypnotised her - this week she thinks she's taking part in a clinical trial. She's had her home office moved into the hospital, and has internet access and a mobile phone. FFIL has given her back her credit card

- which we all think is madness, but she goes totally crazy if he doesn't do what she wants and he feels guilty for doing this to her...

She seems very normal most of the time (some of the unit staff thought she was one of the doctors...), until you start really listening to what she is saying. She can also be calm one minute and then get incredibly violent the next.

We all feel sorry for FFIL, but whilst no-one is saying it, no-one wants her back home for a long time!

Fun and festive christmas cheer for all the family...

 

[Independent Gal]

I''m surprised it''s 28 days in the first instance! That seems rather a long time. Much longer than suspected terrorists can be held, e.g. ... Actually, wait a minute, didn''t the UK just increase that to 28 days too?

Poor woman. Sometimes I wonder what it must be like to be so humiliated like that. I mean, she must know on some level that she''s gone nuts and that everyone is talking about her and that she''s not wanted home. I''m not saying I have some kind of solution by any means! It''s just sad, that''s all.

 

[Independent Gal]

Oh wait! I forgot, this is supposed to be the cynical nasty thread. Disregard the prior post and let''s get back to being honestly grouchy.

 

[Pandora II]

Date: 1/18/2008 8:08:04 PM
Author: Independent Gal
I'm surprised it's 28 days in the first instance! That seems rather a long time. Much longer than suspected terrorists can be held, e.g. ... Actually, wait a minute, didn't the UK just increase that to 28 days too?

Poor woman. Sometimes I wonder what it must be like to be so humiliated like that. I mean, she must know on some level that she's gone nuts and that everyone is talking about her and that she's not wanted home. I'm not saying I have some kind of solution by any means! It's just sad, that's all.

She actually has no insight whatsoever - she's fine that way right now, but I'm sure it will be pretty devasting when and if she recovers. The current prognosis is not good.

She's not wanted at home because she is extremely dangerous and has been VERY unpleasant to both FI and his brothers and her own children for years. It is sad, but she has brought that reaction from us all on herself. I'm normally a forgiving person - but not with her.

She moved into FI's childhood home with no warning, slags his mother off to us all and that's the better bits. Everytime we go there, FI becomes increasingly monosyllabic and unhappy and then spends the entire night in floods of tears without knowing why.

Yes - detention for suspected terrorists is currently 28 days - the government wants to increase it to 90.

I believe that the initial section is for 'up to 28 days'.

 

[Independent Gal]

Ah, up to 28 days makes good sensible sense.