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Dance Ideas

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largirl

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I need some help with dance ideas. I am *really* not close to my dad and I would just feel really, really awkward and uncomfortable having to dance with him. So I was going to skip the father/daughter, mother/son dances altogether. However, FI''s father passed away a few years ago and I know it would mean a lot to his mom to be able to dance with FI. I can''t see a way to let her have that AND me not have the father/daughter dance. The only thing I can think of is to do our first dance and then the parents dance (with my parents) and have the DJ say something like, "In honor of his father, Chris will be dancing with his mother"? Or just skip all the "official" dances except our first dance, and she can dance with him later during the reception if she wants to?
 
Hard call but how could dancing with your father for a couple minutes be so difficult when you have already invited him to the wedding? I would suggest just having the bride/groom first dance and then your husband can ask his mother to dance without any announcement, get pictures (prepare the photographer ahead of time to be ready to snap photos), and you disappear into the crowd or dance with the best man, brother, etc. It shouldn''t be awkward. Not everyone has 2 parents to dance with.
 
I''m in a similar boat.

John is very close to him mom, a widow. And I''m not very close to my step father. We''re going to do the freaking dances, but I''m going with a mambo type fun dance with my step dad, something a fun and silly with NO sentiment or sappy lyrics. That was my solution. I really did NOT want to do a slow dance, walz type thing with my step dad. Ick.
 
I don''t want to get into details here, but I just feel really uncomfortable being touched by him because of some things that happened a long time ago. It wasn''t abuse, but....well, I just don''t feel comfortable at all. We don''t hug when I see him, we talk but very superficially, etc.

I probably will end up sucking it up and doing it, but I''ll be literally dreading it all day and will be miserable the whole time...

Gypsy, I love your idea of a different type of dance. I''ll have to think about that....
 
Do you have another close relative that you can dance with? A grandpa, uncle or brother? You can even dance with your mom if you want. I went to a wedding where the Bride's father had passed away so she danced with her mom. Everyone was super emotional.

If you're going to be miserable the whole time I'm sure that everyone will notice your discomfort. I don't think you should force yourself to do it. It would be more awkward than forgoing the dance altogether.
 
Well, hmm. This is difficult. I kind of agree with the people that say maybe you shouldn''t have formal father/daughter type dances. Do you think your FMIL would be hurt by that? Would she be okay with her dance with FI not being formal?
 
Date: 3/6/2008 2:18:58 PM
Author: largirl
I don''t want to get into details here, but I just feel really uncomfortable being touched by him because of some things that happened a long time ago. It wasn''t abuse, but....well, I just don''t feel comfortable at all. We don''t hug when I see him, we talk but very superficially, etc.


I probably will end up sucking it up and doing it, but I''ll be literally dreading it all day and will be miserable the whole time...


Gypsy, I love your idea of a different type of dance. I''ll have to think about that....

Then don''t do it. Seriously. If you don''t *hug*, there''s no reason to force yourself. Let your FI and his mother have a dance, formally announced or not, but don''t do something that will make you so unhappy you''ll dread it all day.
 
Ok. Well, I hug and kiss my step dad on the cheek. So, that''s different. I just don''t feel daughterly toward him. He''s like... a distant slightly annoying but generally harmless uncle for me. If I really had what it sounds like you''ve got going on... I''d do the mother son somehow and just NOT DO the dad dance at all.
 
Who says just because your DH is dancing with his mother, you have to be dancing with your father. Let your hubby and mother dance and you could watch. If you really are not close to your father don''t dance with him.
 
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